


A Phoenix Rises - An Untamed Story

by AitchNKay



Category: mo dao zu si, 陈情令 | The Untamed (TV)
Genre: F/M, M/M, Mo Dao Zu Shi & MXTX, The Untamed (TV) Ending
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-09
Updated: 2021-03-05
Packaged: 2021-03-06 00:49:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 43
Words: 142,979
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25804654
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AitchNKay/pseuds/AitchNKay
Summary: My thoughts on what happens after the TV show The Untamed ends. A marriage, someone's not dead, and the Yiling Patriarch rises.Mo Dao Zu Shi by Mo Xiang Tong Xiu is the story about two men who fall in love. There is some smut here. Nothing too graphic, but definitely not something children should be reading. I also use swear words here and there.
Relationships: Wei WuXian | Lan WangJi
Comments: 81
Kudos: 246





	1. Chapter 01

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello dear readers.
> 
> Thank you in advance for reading my fluff. I'm not a writer by nature; my background is science and math. But I watch TVs and movies and read books and the stories continue in my head long after I'm done watching and reading. In the last few years I've started writing them down and posting them on fan fiction sites. If you enjoy my story, please let me know in the comments. If you don't enjoy my story, my apologies for boring you.
> 
> I'm not Chinese and my knowledge of chinese customs and history is limited to what I remember from the single chapter on Asia back in 9th grade, a few documentaries I watched on the Discovery channel, and a few Asian dramas. So please consider any mistakes about chinese customs and history as part of my fiction rather than ignorance.
> 
> I've been informally studying Mandarin for a year now, and can understand almost 1000 words/phrases when spoken slowly and clearly.. I'm going to use some of that knowledge in my story. In Mandarin Chinese the words for he/him (他), she/her (她), and it (它) are all pronounced the same: tā. So without context clues and simply simply saying tā, the speaker can mean one gender and the listener can infer another. My use of gender pronouns in certain scenes might therefore be confusing but is definitely deliberate.
> 
> This fiction is based mostly on the TV show as read through English subtitles. Wei WuXian is in Wei WuXian's body, not Mo XuanYu's. That said, I'm also using an English translation of the book as a reference ( /novels/grandmaster-of-demonic-cultivation/) because the timeline in the TV show does not make sense. Somehow Wei WuXian has been dead for 16 years, but when we're taken to the past, it's 16 years ago that Wei WuXian first arrived in Cloud Recesses…. Add together the months spent in classes, 9 months for a baby, 3 months in the Burial Mounds, and additional time for the SunShot Campaign, rebuilding, etc.? The TV timeline falls apart rather quickly. So I'm working from the book in that Wei WuXian has been dead for 13 years and the story started 7 years before that.
> 
> I'm also using the ages used in the book. So in the past, Wei WuXian and Jiang Cheng were 15, Lan WangJi 16, Wen Ning 13 or 14. Jiang YanLi 18/19. Wen Qing in the show is 24 ish; I don't remember her age being listed in the book, but 24 is too old to be attending classes with young teenagers in my not so humble opinion, so I'm going to make her 18/19 as well.
> 
> I've read the book twice and watched the series twice. I'm not an addict. Nor do I have a photographic memory. Any parts of my story that go against what was shown on TV and in the book are either my own mis-remembrances or deliberate, I'm not going to tell you which is which, and in any case are now part of my fiction.
> 
> Thank you for reading.

“Bath first, then food.” Lan WangJi ordered.

“But I’m hungry, “ Wei WuXian whined. After months of traveling and mostly eating alone he was looking forward to dining with his friend. Even though that friend insisted, or at least tried to insist, upon silence during meals. And even though the food in Cloud Recesses was distinctly lacking in spices. Glancing quickly over at Lan WangJi, he amended his thoughts: it wasn’t the food he was looking forward to so much as the companionship.  _ I missed you _ . 

Lan WangJi sniffed delicately in Wei WuXian’s direction. “Wood smoke, grass, dirt, peppers…. What’s that other smell? Fermented apples?” He wrinkled his nose in disgust.

Wei WuXian laughed. “Little Apple and I slept near an orchard a few days ago. He broke his tether and gorged himself while I slept. Then he vomited on my head. I did wash, but I guess my soap wasn’t strong enough.”

Lan WangJi knelt beside a chest and pulled out a set of clothing from the bottom: dark blue outer robes with a matching sash and white underclothes. “Here, you can wear this after your bath. I’ve never worn it. Give me all your dirty things later, and I’ll have someone wash and mend them.” 

Wei WuXian looked over the garments. The outer robe was embroidered with silver threads in a delicate cloud pattern. “Why do you have this?” he asked. “The darkest color I’ve seen on you is pale blue.”

“It was a gift.”

“Was she pretty?”

“I didn’t notice.”

Wei WuXian was incredulous. “How do you not notice if the girl is pretty or not? I guarantee you, she was hoping you’d think she was pretty.” 

Lan Wanji looked over at Wei WuXian out of the corner of his eye. “I performed an exorcism at her parent’s house a few years ago. A few months later, I happened to be passing through her town, and she gave me the outfit as a thank you gift. Neither time did she impress me enough that I wished for another meeting. I took the clothes out of courtesy, because she insisted they were simply a thank you gift, not anything else.” 

“I’m surprised the Elders haven’t married you off, yet. You and ZeWu-Jun. You both have excellent reputations, good bloodlines. And I’m pretty sure that a son adopted from outside the Sect is not suitable as an heir.” Wei WuXian laughed as another thought occurred to him. “You’re going to have to learn how to talk, Lan Zhan! I’m quite certain wives like to talk with their husbands about many subjects, not just the weighty important matters.” He laughed louder. “Your poor wife to be! She’ll be chattering on about which dish pattern you should use for your next banquet, and you’ll be ignoring her.” He felt a pain sear through his chest at the thought of Lan WangJi married.  _ But that’s the way it’s supposed to be, _ he thought.  _ Men are supposed to fall in love with women. _

Lan WangJi’s heart sank at the mention of marriage. He was quite sure Wei Ying was right about the Elders wanting to marry him off, and he was equally as sure that they disapproved of his choice. What he was unsure about was how his choice felt in return. “I do not enjoy the prattle of beings who are allergic to the silence of their own thoughts.”  _ Present company excluded _ , he added mentally.  __

Wei WuXian laughed again. “No wonder you’re always ignoring me. No matter; I stopped minding a long time ago.”

“I always pay attention to you, Wei Ying. You speak because there is something that I need to hear, not simply to fill the silence.” Inwardly, he smiled. Apparently his friend was struck silent by that admission. It wasn’t completely true; Wei Ying did talk to fill the silence. But this was one voice Lan WangJi would happily listen to prattle on for the rest of his life.

Lan Zhan had more to say, words that he ached to tell his friend. But words that would admit his love if ever spoken. And a confession of love could destroy their fragile friendship. 

_You are the smartest person I’ve ever met. Even at fifteen, you were more knowledgeable than many of the adults around you. You never studied hard, and hardly ever paid attention, but you absorbed everything taught to you. And, more importantly, you are able to take that knowledge and use it for something new. I envied you for that as much as I wanted to hate you for it._ _My uncle would say that I’m his model student, but if pressed for the truth, he would have to say you were his brightest. My brother might not be casually dismissive of people of lower birth status like other Sect leaders are, but he doesn’t listen to and ask opinions of people who don’t know what they’re talking about._

_ You are the son of a servant and a cultivator from a sect hardly anyone knows exists. It is expected that you should be subservient and submissive in all ways to the Elders, and the Sect leaders and their sons simply because of your humble roots. You have never meekly settled into anyone's expectations for you, though. You stand tall and proud and hold true to your principles. You’ve never accepted the way it’s always been done is the best way to do things. I love that about you. _

He hesitated for a moment, pushing down the desire to admit everything, then added, “You’ll have to stay here.That way I can play the Song of Clarity for you when I think you need it. Also, the Elders weren’t happy when I told them I would bring you back here. They know your reputation is not fully deserved, but they are still wary of you influencing the junior disciples. So they want you under my observation.” That was only a partial lie. The Elders were indeed not happy that the notorious Yiling Patriarch was going to spend time in Cloud Recesses, and they did not want him influencing the disciples in Cultivation matters, but they had no problems allowing Wei WuXian the use of one of the smaller empty houses. Properly supervised, of course.

“There’s only the one bed; where am I going to sleep?” Wei Ying asked lightly. Almost from the time they first met, Lan WangJi had invaded Wei WuXian’s dreams. At first they were just playful dreams of kids having fun together: having water fights, shooting arrows at kites, stealing lotus pods on moonless nights, and such. Since his return from the dead, though, the dreams had become more mature, involving the two of them reenacting some of the pictures in the erotica he had read as a young teenager. And far too often for his liking, he awoke from those dreams to find his trousers and bedding all wet and sticky.  _ What will happen if I have one of those dreams while sleeping in your bed? _

The first time he had woken up to the aftermath of an erotic dream he had been thirteen. Mortified that Jiang Cheng, or worse Madame Yu, would find out, he had developed a trick to clean the mess up without leaving any trace behind. So it might not be so bad if he had one and was able to remove the evidence before Lan WangJi saw it…. But since one of them woke up at five every morning and the other liked to sleep for another four (or more) hours… that was an unlikely scenario. 

“There’s plenty of room if you lie still.” Lan Zhan glared back over his shoulder, and the other hurriedly nodded his agreement. 

“I can’t control what I’m doing when I’m asleep,” he muttered, wiping at his nose. “If I kick you in my sleep, I take no responsibility.”  _ I’ll just have to find a trick that prevents me from getting hard while I’m asleep. _


	2. Chapter 02

Wei WuXian got his wish; the food came first. But he had forgotten, deliberately perhaps, exactly how bland Cloud Recesses’ food was. He stirred his clear vegetable broth soup half heartedly as he frowned at the tasteless dishes laid out on the table. Not a single dish smelled like it had ever been touched by garlic or ginger or even salt. Chili peppers, of course, were out of the question. Lan Zhan didn’t need to look up from his meal to see his friend scowling; he was well aware of Wei Ying’s need for spice. He wordlessly handed over a small jar of diced hot peppers that had been hidden in his sleeve. “Eat up; you’ve lost weight again.”

* * *

Lan WangJi sat at his desk, ostensibly reading a book, but in actuality, fighting his arousal. Nearly half an hour before, a bath tub had been filled with hot water and a privacy screen set around it and Wei WuXian. His mind easily supplied detailed erotic images with every sound that passed through the screen. Silk rustling, sliding down Wei Ying’s body to puddle on the floor. The pale, slim, lightly muscled body stepping into the tub and sinking down into the water. Steam damp hair clinging to his oval face. Lean limbs being lifted out of the water, the sliding of a wash cloth against wet skin. The slightly deeper inhalations before Wei Ying dunked his head and the exhalations as he surfaced. The sighs of contentment as he massaged soap into his hair. Lan Zhan glared down at his lap and willed his erection to go down. 

HanGuang-Jun had memorized the first hundred Sect rules before the age of five. By the time he was sixteen and Wei WuXian had burst into his life, he was able to recite each of the three thousand rules in any order requested. He had added each of the next thousand plus rules to his memory as they were introduced. They were exceedingly useful as a mantra. The mental recitation calmed his mind and body and acted as a gateway to full meditation. Until tonight when they failed him completely. The mantra slipped through his mental grasp, his concentration shattered by the sounds and images bombarding his brain. 

With a physical jerk, Lan Zhan came to the realization that there hadn’t been any movement on either side of the screen for some time. “Are you asleep in there?”

“No… I’ve been thinking.” A few halfhearted splashes were heard. “How old am I?”

“Thirty-five.”

“No, I mean how old am I, really. Now how long has it been since the day I was born. I’ve been trying to figure it out…. I was fifteen when we met. Seventeen when we fought Xuanwu in the cave. Twenty when I took the last of the Wen sect back to the Burial Mounds. I must have been twenty-one when I stepped off that cliff. It was pretty hard to keep track of the days, back then.” There was no comment, but Wei WuXian wasn’t expecting one. “I’ve been back for less than a year, and my birth date has passed since my return, so am I twenty-two or thirty-five?” The silence coming from the other side of the privacy screen would have unnerved Wei WuXian if it were anybody else there but Lan Zhan. “This isn’t at all how I expected my life to be like at either twenty-two or thirty-five when I was a kid. I had some vague idea that Madame Yu would have arranged my marriage, and we’d have at least a couple of kids running around by now. Hopefully we’d like each other, maybe even love each other. I’d be Jiang Cheng’s right hand man, and Shijie would have taught my wife how to make lotus rib soup.” He laughed flatly. “I certainly did not expect to be the most feared and hated cultivator our world has known by the age of twenty and dead by suicide at twenty-one.” 

And now Wei WuXian heard the first sound coming from the other side of the privacy screen: the rustle of a page turning. “Do you remember my pledge when we lit the lanterns? What was it… Something like to seek justice and live with no regrets. Was that it?” Another page turned on the other side of the divider. Lan Zhan didn’t read that fast. Unless maybe he was looking at a picture book? He smiled broadly, remembering one picture book in particular. “I guess I was lucky in that I died having no regrets for the things I’d done. My regrets were for the things I hadn’t done or had no control over.” 

“Your Shijie and A’Yuan?”

Wei WuXian yawned. The heat from the bath was relaxing his mind as well as his body. “And Wen Qing and Wen Ning. And Shidi.” He yawned again, and wondered if it really was the bath causing the yawns. “You....” It was a condemnation as much as it was an inclusion in the previous list as a third yawn threatened to crack his jaw. “Did you drug me?” He never felt this sleepy this early in the evening.

“It’s almost nine.”

“You put it in the peppers, didn’t you. You didn’t have to drug me.”

“Finish up and get out before you fall asleep and drown in there.”

Wei WuXian toweled off and dressed in the clean pair of trousers and shirt. He left the rest of the clothing in a pile on the floor. Still squeezing water from his hair with his towel, he walked behind Lan Zhan and bent down. “Do I smell better, now?” He wasn’t expecting an answer, and wasn’t surprised to not get one. Although if he had looked at Lan Zhan’s lap, he would have seen an answer to a question he dared not ask. “I smell like flowers,” he complained as he dug through his saddle bags looking for a comb. “One would think the mighty HanGuang-Jun would have soap that smells like sandalwood or cedar.” The comb ripped through the tangled mess of hair over his shoulder.

“It was a gift.”

Wei Ying laughed as he attempted to untangle a particularly dense knot. “Was _she_ pretty?”

He was very surprised when a hand reached around to gently take the comb from his hand. “Sit by the bed, and let me do it before you pull all your hair out.” Lan WangJi sat on the edge of the bed with Wei WuXian on the floor in between his knees. And prayed that Wei Ying would not lean back. “She’s old enough to be my mother,” he continued.

“She must have a daughter who’s pretty then….” Wei WuXian let out another yawn and sighed happily. “Feels nice. I haven’t had anyone comb my hair since Wen Qing…. Did you know she stuck me with those needles of hers and paralyzed me for three days when they left to be executed?” He paused, but wasn’t expecting a response. “I wondered during those days how they did it. How do you knowingly walk to your death without shitting yourself.” He let out another humorless laugh. “You clench your stomach and buttocks really tight, of course. Because it’s also very hard to not piss yourself. 

“It’s a different feeling than going to battle. I knew how good I was with Suibian or just with Chenqing, so I wasn’t really afraid when fighting. And even if you’re wounded really badly in battle, there’s always the chance that you can be saved…. It’s not that I’m afraid of death, Lan Zhan. Even at seventeen in Xuanwu’s cave I wasn’t afraid…. I am, however, petrified of the drawn out dying part.” The drugs were kicking in more, now. His voice was getting lower, softer. “Those three days... I had it all figured out. There was bound to be some sort of ceremony where the sect leaders praised themselves for executing a couple dozen elderly men and women. And a three year old. How could they justify murdering a three year old? I’d go there, stir up their anger…. Let them start the fight. After a while, I’d find myself fighting you, and I could just make a mistake…. A little one so you’d think it _was_ a mistake and not deliberate. And it would all be over.” His body slumped a bit, head falling to rest on Lan Zhan’s thigh. “But you weren’t there. Why weren’t you there….” 

Lan WangJi felt a droplet of something hot and wet drip onto his trousers. He had the same moisture stinging his eyes. This monologue was painful to listen to. How much more painful it must have been to live through! How could Wei Ying have so casually decided who would kill him? How bad does your life have to be at twenty-one to decide that having your only remaining friend kill you was your best option? That death was preferable to running away? How evil do you have to see yourself as being to think that your friend would be all right after killing you? _How could you have wanted me to be the one? Did you really think I felt so little for you? Didn’t you know it would have destroyed me if it had been my sword piercing your heart? Did you know you almost destroyed me when you forced me to let go of your hand? Do you know I have lived a shadow life for thirteen years?_

“I had to provoke them, get them angry enough that they’d just kill me outright. But I also had to be careful to not let Jiang Cheng do it.” The tear stain on Lan WangJi’s trousers was getting bigger. “Jiang Cheng wouldn’t torture me, but if it ever came out that I wasn’t the evil monster I was made out to be, he’d be a mess. I couldn’t let that happen to him. Lan Zhan, though… he could do it. Emotionless Lan Zhan who barely tolerated me on my best behaved days? If he ever discovered the truth, he’d meditate for a while, maybe light some incense for me. But he’d know that he made the right decision at that time. Angry Lan Zhan…. Why did you have to be angry? You only ever got angry with me when I teased you, and I made sure not to tease you that night. Angry Lan Zhan would have a hard time forgiving himself once he learned the truth. 

“I couldn’t let Angry Lan Zhan kill me….”

_Couldn’t you see that I was angry for you, not at you?_

“Angry Lan Zhan was too busy fighting those corpse puppets to fight me. I didn’t make them… It wasn’t me. Do you believe me? I was just using the resentful energy to toy with those people until you’d kill me. 

“I didn’t make the puppet that hurt Shijie…. That wasn’t me. I would never have hurt my sister.

“Why did she have to push me out of the way? It would have been over right then…. She should have just let me be done with the whole business! Instead she made things worse. They would never have allowed me to just die after that…. The best I could hope for would be that my body gave out before my torturers could get really creative.

“I was so tired, Lan Zhan. Tired of fighting all the time. Fighting to live. Fighting to be seen as something more than just another piece of trash to be thrown away. Sometimes it felt like I’d been fighting just for the right to simply exist every single day since my parents died…. 

“Do you know why I was listed as being fourth in Cultivation? I deliberately failed some of the tasks. I was trying to come in lower than Jiang Cheng…. I thought Madame might not hate me as much if I was lower…. I thought Jiang Cheng would like me more if he was higher. But I didn’t fail enough, and nothing changed except that Uncle Jiang was disappointed in me. I couldn’t even get failing right!”

Wei WuXian was quiet for a few minutes until Lan WangJi thought he might be asleep against his leg. “Lan Zhan? Do you know? When you finally decide ‘this is it; I’m done’, your whole world starts to get really quiet. I could hear the blood pumping through my veins louder than the battle going on around me. I could hear each tear drop as it fell off my face onto my clothes or the ground. Each beat of my heart. Each breath in and out.. A countdown of sorts, I guess. 

“The oddest things run into your mind, too. I wanted to see my mom again. Just see her smiling at me once more. I wanted one more taste of Shijie’s soup. One more playful fight with Jiang Cheng. One more hug from A’Yuan. One more argument with Wen Qing. I wanted to know what you looked like when you smiled. I just wanted to live in peace, and they wanted to kill me for that unforgivable sin. How is wanting to live a crime punishable by death? 

“And I felt this raw, burning anger at what never was and now never would be. I had never even kissed anyone! Never had anyone tell me I was enough. Just me as myself was good enough. Never found out if I was in love….”

Lan Zhan paused combing Wei Ying’s hair. _How could you not know that you were exactly enough for me? That you were perfect just as you were?_ “You thought you were in love? How could you not know if you loved someone?” 

Wei Ying rubbed his head no against the other’s thigh. “I’ve never seen anyone who said they were in love who looked the way I felt. In my few memories of them, my parents are smiling and laughing with each other. Is that love? I smile and laugh with everyone, so... I don’t know…. Uncle Jiang and Madame Yu never showed any affection for each other in front of me; did they love each other in private? Shijie said she was in love, but her love was full of sighs and sadness and staring at the ground. I think Jiang Cheng and Wen Qing might have been in love, but they just stared at each other and had stilted conversations. I didn’t feel any of that….”

“Shameless.” 

“You always call me that.” Wei WuXian’s speech was slurred and almost too quiet to hear. “Just being near him, I feel happier than I have ever been in my life. My heartbeat gets so fast and loud, I’m afraid everyone around me can hear it. And whenever he looks at me or we touch? My belly and chest feel like there are thousands of butterflies flying around inside of me. Is that what love is?”

Lan WangJi noticed the verb tenses. Was it a slip of the tongue due to the drug? Or was his lover still around? Or could it be that Wei Ying meant he felt all that right now? “It sounds like love to me…. You must have loved Jiang YanLi very much.” Lan WangJi had spent years wondering if his rival was that extraordinary sister. 

That supposition woke Wei WuXian up a bit from his stupor. “Shijie? Of course I loved her. She was my very beloved sister. That peacock wasn’t ever good enough for her. I wasn’t in love with her, if that’s what you’re saying. That’s disgusting! In love with my sister? Yuck.”

“But you share no blood ties with her.”

“Shijie became my sister when I was nine. Blood ties or not, I have always and only ever seen her as such.”

“Wen Qing was very beautiful and very kind.” She was the only other woman close in age Wei Ying spent any significant amount of time with.

“She and Jiang Cheng would have been happy together.”

“Wen Qing wasn’t your lover in the Burial Mounds?”

“Older sister.” Wei Ying dropped his head back to Lan Zhan’s thigh. And yawned loudly. “Maybe if we have lived there another few years, she and Jiang Cheng would have forgotten their feelings for each other. And maybe I would have given up on mine. I was very fond of her, of course. The way one should be fond of an older sister or a sister-in-law. I have a very strict policy of never going between lovers. Except for Shijie and the peacock. He didn’t deserve her.”

“Who was it, then?” 

“Not so shameless to tell you.” Wei Ying settled his head more heavily against Lan Zhan’s thigh and was silent for so long, Lan Zhan was convinced the other was finally asleep. He moved carefully, picking up his sleeping friend and arranging his body on the bed. 

“So cold. So empty. Falling. Pretty blue and white butterflies flying down with me. Explode into nothing.”

Lan WangJi hesitated. Wei Ying was drugged, and mostly asleep. To ask again about his lover would be a serious breach of ethics. But he had to know. “Do I give you butterflies?”

“Always,” Wei Ying breathed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, apparently donkeys can't vomit in real life. But people can't do magic in real life either. 
> 
> Thank goodness for fictional worlds!


	3. Chapter 03

Wei Wuxian woke up the next morning with no ill aftereffects from the drug. And vaguely embarrassing recollections of discussing the thoughts leading up to his death in the Nightless City. 

Lan Wangji had left him a letter along with a now cold bowl of porridge. “I _hid your alcohol; don’t go looking for it_ ,” he read aloud. “ _The porridge was hot when I brought it over. Get up earlier if you want hot food. You are expected at the upper pond to assist with the younger disciples with their archery practice in the morning, and my uncle wants to see you in his study in the afternoon. Your clothes have been sent for washing and mending. Put your hair up properly. You can use any of my hair pieces until we get some for you. And be on your best behavior in public._

"I’m always on my best behavior. We all just have differing opinions as to what ‘best behavior’ is.”

What was left of the morning was passed in great humor. He enjoyed working with the little ones, adjusting their posture, helping their aim, and impressing them with his skills. The afternoon was not as fun. He met Lan QiRen, was lectured at for almost an hour, and then forcibly sent to the training grounds to practice swordsmanship under the watchful eye of Lan XiChen. 

It appeared that Lan QiRen still did not know that Wei WuXian’s golden core was gone based on the scolding that proper etiquette for Cultivators included carrying their spiritual sword at all times. Lan XiChen, however, did know, and insisted that Wei WuXian needed to build up his strength so he could defend himself at least with a regular blade in the future. 

* * *

HanGuang-Jun entered the Jingshi late in the evening to find his usually immaculate home a mess. Cloth bundles in varying shades of the lilac preferred by the YunMengJiang Sect leadership were strewn here and there. A wooden box tipped on its side, hair pieces and jade tassels spilling out of it. Most of the hair pieces were rather plain pieces; but one had a lotus flower design sculpted out of amethysts and emeralds. Suibian lay precariously balanced on the dining table. And Wei Ying was lying on the floor in the middle of this mess. Lan Zhan’s hand clenched around Bichen in anger, not at the mess, although that _was_ annoying. No, this time it was the lilac clothing and amethysts that were the fuel for his ire. 

It was quite obvious that the YunMengJiang Sect wanted their prodigy cultivator back. They had carelessly and flagrantly thrown him away for protecting the weak and innocent. Even after his death and subsequent resurrection, they continued to rail against him as an evil monster. Now that he was vindicated, they had such thick skins, pretending as if the spineless Jiang Cheng hadn’t bowed down before his fellow Sect leaders and disavowed his adopted brother! So many of the baseless accusations and unwarranted and irrational hatred against the Yiling Patriarch could have been resolved by Jiang Cheng standing firm with Wei WuXian; the two brothers should have stayed side by side, as they were meant to be. As they vowed to be.

But Jiang Cheng’s jealousy and desperate need to be accepted by others was always greater than his affection for his elder brother. Even when, or especially when, those others were Sect leaders who hated to see a servant’s son excelling in his studies and deeds over their sons, exceeding all expectations, and accomplishing the impossible. 

Wei Ying ultimately committed suicide because of Jiang Cheng’s faithlessness. Was he expected to forgive that betrayal? Of course, Lan Zhan thought, Wei Ying being who he was, he had probably already forgiven his brother. _After all, he has already forgiven me for my betrayal._

The supine figure raised one hand up into the air and a single finger ticked up. “I’m not allowed to leave the Jingshi without Suibian.” Wei WuXian announced tonelessly to the ceiling, interrupting the other’s thoughts. A second finger joined the first. “I’m not allowed to leave the Jingshi with Chenqing unless I’m with you.” A third finger raised up. “I’m to practice with Suibian every afternoon under Lan XiChen’s direct supervision.” A fourth finger went up. “And next month at the Cultivator’s conference in Lanling, I’m to prostrate myself before Jiang Cheng at the opening banquet and beg before everyone to be allowed to rejoin the YunMengJiang Sect.” Wei Ying looked up at his friend’s inscrutable face and waggled the fourth finger at him. “I can’t do that, Lan Zhan. I’ll just tell everyone I’ve given up my golden core, and be done with the whole secrecy thing. Let them try to look down on me as mediocre or inadequate. As if any of them could have achieved half of what I have without a golden core!”

Lan Zhan’s eyes were as hard as diamonds as he looked down at Wei Ying sprawled on the floor. “Clean it up,” he ordered. He almost marched over to his guqin and started playing the Song of Clarity. He was in desperate need of it himself, after seeing the lilac clothing and hearing his uncle’s decrees and expectations. _Wei WuXian beg for acceptance? It should be Jiang Cheng and the rest of the Sect leaders on their knees before Wei WuXian!_

“I don’t need to be calmed down…. Do you know that every unmarried cultivator aged sixteen and over is invited to this conference? Men _and_ women. From all major and minor Sects. _And_ the clanless! Thousands of us wandering around Koi Tower and Lanling city. Mark my words: this is going to turn into a marriage auction.” This was enough to make Lan WangJi stop playing his music. From his place on the floor, Wei Ying giggled. “Lan QiRen is going to find you and Lan XiChen nice docile girls and have you wed before the end of the year.”

“I won’t do it.”

“What? Go to the conference? Or let your uncle marry you off?”

“Marriage. There is only one person I would marry, and my uncle does not approve.”

Wei Ying rolled smoothly to his side to face Lan Zhan, and balanced his head on his arm. “You actually want to marry someone? Are you in love? I suppose you’re like Jiang Cheng, huh? Staring at her longingly from across the room and incapable of having a conversation with her, eh? Huh?”

Lan WangJi resumed playing his music. “I don’t stare at him, longingly or otherwise, unless he acts like an idiot. In which case everyone else is staring at him, too. And I’m quite capable of talking to him when I need to. Or want to. I told you; I have no use for idle chit-chat.”

Wei WuXian snorted. “I’ll just have to drug you, then, to find out her name. Payback for what you made me say last night! I’ll find my alcohol and make you drink a cup. Just you wait! I can get you to say anything while you’re drunk!”

“All you told me was you felt butterflies when you touched. You never mentioned a name,” Lan WangJi reminded him. 

“All right then. Fair’s fair. You tell me. What is it like when you touch her? Or have you even touched her?”

Lan WangJi’s hands stilled on the strings again. “I feel hot. Like my whole body should burn from the inside out.”

Wei Ying flopped onto his back again criss-crossing his hands under his head. “Sounds painful. I much prefer butterflies.”

“Do _you_ want to get married?”

“If you’re married to someone you care about, it has its advantages over being alone, I think. I don’t want to be married to someone I’m indifferent to or who hates me. If it’s one of those marriages you read about in story books where the husband and wife are partners and can depend upon each other no matter what the situation? I think I’d like that.” _If it was you…. But men don’t marry men. Do they?_ “Not sleeping alone is nice, too. I really think I'd enjoy,” he coughed, embarrassed, “ _that_ part of marriage.” Wei WuXian understood more than just the basics of what being with a woman entailed, but the books he’d read had never showed two men as lovers. However, if Lan Zhan’s hand felt even half as good as his own, he’d be more than happy.... “And I want to be a dad. I really, _really_ want children. I loved pretending to be A’Yuan’s dad back in the Burial Mounds. I think I’d make a really great dad….”

“I think you would, too.” Lan WangJi’s heart sank. He could give Wei WuXian everything he wanted in a marriage. Well, everything except for a child. 

“I don’t think I'm going to have women lined up to meet me in Lanling, though. I might not be the evil Yiling Patriarch anymore, but I still perform crafty tricks and carry a flute instead of my sword. I still control the dead. I don’t think my handsome good looks and lovable smile can overcome those….” _I don’t want women lined up to marry me. I just want you._

“Once you’ve been reinstated as the Jiang Sect senior disciple, any father who wants to curry favor with Jiang Cheng will be quite willing to pretend you’re carrying Suibian instead of Chengqing.” Lan Zhan said lightly, attempting to squash down his anger and frustration. “And mothers will encourage their daughters to imagine the good looking and intelligent children you’d give them rather than the dead you can summon.” 

Wei Ying sat up and picked up one of the lilac robes off the floor. “I once thought I’d wear this color every day of my adult life. Shijie, Shidi, and I… standing together forever.” He laughed humorlessly. “Forever didn’t even last a month. Once I gave up my core, I was pretty much useless to my Shijie and Shidi.” He sighed and stood up, gathering the strewn clothing. “I’m not even sure I want to go back to being a Jiang disciple. How can I be a disciple with no core and cultivating resentful energy? As difficult as it was trying to eke out a living with the Wen Sect in the Burial Mounds, I was very content there.” He dumped the clothing into a chest set against the wall next to the one Lan Zhan had pulled clothing out from the night before. “I liked making decisions with Wen Qing…. We didn’t always see eye to eye; she overruled me just as often as I overruled her. To be expected to back down when I disagree with Jiang Cheng? Especially when I know that I’m right? I don’t know if I could do that.” He picked up the lotus hair piece. “I guess this is supposed to be for my wedding day. Gaudy, isn’t it?” He carelessly tossed it along with the other scattered pieces into its box, and placed that on his clothing chest. “I tell you, Lan Zhan, I will not have a wife who is only interested in me because her father wants Shidi to grant him a favor. Or because I’m cute.”

“Perhaps your lover will be in Lanling for the conference.”

“Oh, I can guarantee he will be,” Wei Ying muttered. “Like that would do me any good.”

“You can confess to her, at least.”

“Confess? Let’s play a game, Lan WangJi. I’ll be me, the reformed monstrous Yiling Patriarch who refuses to rejoin his Sect. You pretend to be my lover, OK?” This startled Lan WangJi so much that he abruptly stood up, heart racing in a mild panic. He closed his eyes, thankful that Wei Ying was busy pacing the room, too agitated to have paid attention. “I say to you, my pretend lover, ‘I think I’ve been in love with you since I was seventeen years old.’ And you say….?”

Lan WangJi couldn’t stop himself; the words tripped out of his mouth. “I have been infatuated with you since the day we met. Your intelligence, your familial loyalty, your complete disregard for any but the most basic of rules…. The way I know exactly how much trouble we’re in based on if you’re smiling or playing pranks or serious…. I can recall with perfect clarity the day, the very hour, that I knew I loved you. Head over heels, madly and completely and forever in love with you. I waited for you to return to me because the alternative… the thought that you were never coming back was unbearable. I hope that when we are reborn, we find each other again and again and again, because spending one lifetime with you is not enough. A thousand lifetimes might not be enough.” The tips of his ears turned pink, and he coughed uncomfortably. “Maybe she won’t be that detailed, but something like that,” he hedged. 

Wei Ying stood in the middle of the room, mouth agape, eyes staring blankly. A few very long moments passed before he very visibly shook himself. “Did you just confess to me?”

“No. We were playing a game, remember? It’s almost nine o’clock. Time to sleep.” Lan Zhan started walking to his bed; Wei Ying grabbed hold of his sleeve, stopping him.

“No…,” he said slowly. “You don’t play games.” Wei WuXian gazed in wonder at his love’s face, fully absorbed in watching each and every facial muscle as they clenched and unclenched. “I make you burn, don’t I…” he breathed, reaching up to place a hesitant hand against the other’s face. “The same way you give me butterflies….” Lan Zhan’s face and eyes became as hard and still as marble. Impenetrable. Inscrutable. 

Wei Ying knew he was right. Knew that the glances he intercepted since his return weren’t misinterpreted. Knew that as much as he had always wanted Lan Zhan’s attention and affection, the other wanted it as well. Knew that as much as he hungered for the most basic and innocent of touches as well as more intimate ones, the other yearned for it as well.

There was just one slight problem: “What do you do with the noses.”  
  



	4. Chapter 4

“What do you mean? What about what noses?”

Wei WuXian grinned, making Lan Zhan’s head spin. “It’s not like I’ve done this before, you know. Those books make it look uncomfortable.”

“What books?” 

Erotic books almost always showed lovers kissing with their faces meeting at a sharp angle. Wei Ying felt that would look really weird, though, if he tilted his head that far. Maybe just a bit off center would be enough to avoid knocking their noses together? Eyes locked firmly on Lan Zhan’s, he leaned forward to lightly press their lips together. He held them together for a few seconds until he felt slightly dizzy and realized he had stopped breathing. He pulled back, gasping in much needed oxygen. He was grinning wildly, heart racing, butterflies beating against his insides, until he noticed Lan Zhan’s icy demeanor hadn’t changed a bit. 

Exhilaration crashed into the pit of his stomach. “I’m sorry, Lan WangJi…. I thought…. I thought you confessed to me, I’m sorry,” he stammered, backing away. In the rather extensive history of Wei WuXian’s colossal mistakes, this was at the top. “It’s not yet, nine, right? So curfew hasn’t started? I’ll just go… and you can…. No. Please have A’Yuan bring my things and Little Apple down to Caiyi town tomorrow? It’s OK if my clothes aren’t washed or mended, just….” _What the fuck have I done?_ “When we see each other again, don’t worry. I’ll fix this. You don’t have to think about it. I just need a little time, and….”

“Wei Ying, shut up,” Lan Zhan interrupted. Wei WuXian snapped his mouth closed and waited for the ringing sound of Bichen being drawn. Or a fist to punch into his gut. Instead Lan Zhan placed a careful hand against the back of Wei Ying’s neck, and then they were kissing again. Lips pressed and clung and released over and over again. Heads tilted first one way then another in search of some elusive perfect angle. As their eyes drifted shut, their hands came into play, caressing the other’s face and arms. As they grew more secure in the kiss, their hands became bolder as well, moving to caress the defined muscles of the other’s back, sliding down to lightly skim trim, taut waists. They pulled each other closer until they were finally chest to chest and hip to hip, feeling for the first time another man’s erection against their bellies. 

Pulling back slightly for a much needed breath of air, Lan WangJi spoke softly. “There was one day in particular that has invaded my dreams. You were sitting rather awkwardly at the desk in the library, scratching your neck with one hand, the other elbow was resting on your knee. And you were resting the end of your brush in your mouth…. I have never been so jealous of a brush in my entire life.” 

“You should have just kissed me, then. It was awfully hard to concentrate on my brush strokes with you sitting just a few meters away and my stomach full of butterflies. I had no idea what these feelings were; none of my books ever had two men in love….”

“You read the wrong books,” Lan Zhan growled, and leaned in again for a kiss. But this time, he started by biting Wei Ying’s bottom lip, and then soothing the pain away with his tongue. When Wei Ying gasped, in pain or pleasure, Lan Zhan took the opportunity to invade the other’s mouth for the first time, licking and sucking everything he could reach, feeling his love reciprocate his actions. 

Minutes, or maybe hours, later, he had lost track of time, Wei Ying pulled back to press his fingers against his bruised lips. “Stop biting, you fiend. It hurts!”

Lan WangJi admired the results of his work for a moment. “But I like biting.”

“I’ll get you a carrot.”

“I like biting you,” Lan Zhan clarified. His internal clock told him it was after nine, but he had no interest in sleeping. “I should put a silence spell on,” he mused out loud. 

“No. No silence spells,” Wei WuXian protested. “Can’t kiss properly with my mouth glued shut.”

“Not you. I’m going to put a spell around the Jingshi. So the night guards don’t hear or see anything.”

As Lan WangJi performed his spell, Wei WuXian ran his hands around the other’s waist and tugged on the ends of his sash. “Since it’s after nine, you don’t need this anymore, right?” The sash slithered to the floor, and Wei Ying leaned in to kiss his lover’s neck. His hands moved to push Lan WangJi’s layers of outer robes down to join the sash, then paused at the ties holding the underrobe together. “Please can I see you? I want….” He had no idea what he wanted; he just knew that their clothes were in the way.

“Do you have any idea of what you’re asking for? Or what comes next?” Lewd images assaulted Lan WangJi’s mind: Wei Ying on his knees, on his back, on his hands and knees.... And in each image, he was buried to the hilt in his lover’s body. He had years of fantasies to try out. But it seemed We WuXian was completely ignorant of how men loved each other.

“I touch you and you touch me, and we rub each other for a little bit, and then it feels _really_ good, right? Sometimes the girls in the books would use their mouths, but I’m not sure if I want to try that yet….”

 _Damn. Wei Ying really is innocent._ “Do you know how men have sex?” 

“No. How can we? I’ve read the books and seen animals mating….” _Men are missing a vital body part…._

“Hands it is, then.” Lan WangJi’s hands divested Wei WuXian of his clothing, pausing every once in a while to kiss or lick or bite a newly revealed piece of skin. This was good, too, learning how to touch and please his love even without the ultimate closeness….

Wei WuXian was feeling a rather odd feeling. He loved the way Lan Zhan was looking at and touching his naked body; those eyes burning with lust fueled his own arousal. But then there was the slight embarrassment of being naked in front of a mostly clothed man. Mostly, though, was the shameful feeling of ignorance. He supposed it wasn’t unexpected that a fifteen or sixteen year old boy might not know how two men loved each other, but someone who had lived for twenty-two years should be able to figure it out! 

“You are so incredibly beautiful,” Lan Zhan whispered hoarsely. Then his hand gripped Wei Ying’s erection, and all extraneous thoughts fled from their heads. Lan Zhan’s remaining clothes were ripped away and thrown carelessly on the floor. Their bodies fumbled to kneel on the bed, hands grasping onto and pumping the other’s smooth shaft, mouths kissing and biting any skin that passed near or moaning and sighing their pleasure. Then one, immediately followed by the other, groaned and released into his lover’s hand. They collapsed to lie flat on their backs, however, as if by unspoken agreement, not touching.

“That was…” one said when he was able to attempt to function normally again.

“Yes,” the other agreed.

After a very long while, the euphoria of climax was replaced by feeling uncomfortable from their now cold fluids. “I’ll go get us a wet cloth to clean up with,” Lan WangJi offered, but remained unmoving.

“No need.” Wei WuXian drew a symbol in the air and pushed it down towards their waists, removing all semen from their bodies and bedding.

“That’s useful.”

“If you shared a room with Jiang Cheng and had a mother like Madame Yu, you’d have figured out a way to clean it up, too….” 

“I lived in a dorm with seven other teenage boys for years. There were many nights that my roommates went to bed with their towels. We all pretended to not hear what the others were doing.”

“So did you sleep with your towel a lot?” Weiu Ying teased.

“No, never. After my mother died, my uncle locked up the Jingshi and kept the key. I was about ten when my brother handed me the key and said the house should be mine when I grew up. I never asked him if Uncle gave him the key or if he stole it. I used to come here to read when I needed to really be alone.”

“Oh?” Wei Ying laughed. “ _Reading?_ Is that what you called it? I found a willow tree by the lake, not too far from the Lotus Pier docks. In the spring and summer, I could sit under the tree and be completely hidden from the outside world…. I had a small log for a seat and a metal box I stored my stuff in and used as a desk. I used to _read_ there, too.” Wei Ying was torn between embarrassment and curiosity. Being a thirty-five year old virgin with the life experiences of an innocent and ignorant twenty-two year old had its disadvantages. He had sufficient experience with using his own hand to pleasure himself, but doing it to another? And now that it was over, what was supposed to happen next? Do they go to sleep? Do it again? With that thought, a certain body part twitched in anticipation, and Wei Ying could feel his face heating. “Lan Zhan?” Embarrassment won out. “Should we get dressed?”

“Mm”

Both men were careful to not look at the other while dressing. Lan Zhan had to use every bit of self control he had learned over the years; after so many years of longing and fantasizing, he finally had his hands and mouth on Wei Ying, and he was eager to repeat the experience. And even more eager to expand upon it. And while he was quite sure Wei Ying had enjoyed their time together, the abrupt change in tone indicated something was wrong, and he wasn’t sure what it was… On top of that, Wei Ying had laid back down on the far side of the bed and was stiff as a board. 

“Lan Zhan?”

“Hmm?”

“Did I please you?”

“Hmm.” _Ah, so it’s insecurity…_ “Come here and let me hold you,” he ordered. Wei Ying immediately rolled over and mostly onto Lan Zhan. His head pillowed on a shoulder, his arm around the chest, and a leg resting between Lan Zhan’s.

“Lan Zhan? How do men have sex?”

“I’ll give you a book in the morning.”

“I hate being ignorant.” Wei Ying almost whined in frustration.

Lan Zhan’s free hand drew a line down Wei Ying’s spine and continued down to press lightly in the crack of his ass. “It goes in here.”

Wei Ying tilted his head up to look in his lover’s eyes. “Are you sure? It’s dirty there…”

“We’ll clean it first.”

“And it seems painful…. You’re an awful lot bigger than.. well... you know....”

“There are ways to make it less painful.”

“You want to be inside me.”

“Yes.”

“You want me to be inside you.”

“Yes.”

“Can I think about it?”

“Take all the time you need.” _I’m not going anywhere…._

“Lan Zhan?”

“Wei Ying, if you don’t shut up and go to sleep, I’m going to kiss you again….”

“Lan Zhan? Don’t stop with a kiss….”

* * *

Wei Ying was rudely awoken, happier and more relaxed than he’d been in months, if a wee bit chafed in his nether regions, and earlier than he ever wanted to be. “Sleepy,” he moaned and rolled over.

“Get up. You have to be at the upper pond for archery in an hour. Your clothes are washed. Get up, get dressed, do your hair properly, and come eat breakfast.” Wei WuXian muttered something that sounded suspiciously like ‘go away’. With an exasperated sigh, Lan WangJi pulled off the blanket, grabbed an arm, and yanked Wei WuXian out of the bed to tumble onto the floor. “Starting tomorrow, you get up at five with me.” 

Rubbing a sore hip, Wei WuXian muttered a few uncomplimentary phrases that Lan WangJi pretended to not hear. Wei WuXian dressed in his favorite black and red outfit, and had picked up a ribbon for his hair when he was reminded, “Properly.” Wei WuXian sighed in aggravation and began the process of gathering and twisting his hair to jam it into the plain silver hair piece he had worn the day before. The first two attempts fell out as soon as he let go of the hair piece. The third attempt stayed in, but fell over to hang over an ear. The fourth attempt stayed put, if a bit wobbly, until he stood up at which point it slid down the back of his head. Lan WangJi smirked as he watched his lover getting more and more frustrated. “Sit,” he instructed, “I’ll do it for you. Don’t you remember how to put your hair up?”

“I remember _putting_ my hair up,” Wei WuXian offered as the other expertly maneuvered his hair into the hair piece. “It’s so much easier to just tie it back with a ribbon or a piece of leather. No one cared how my hair looked in the Burial Mounds….” 

The two men sat at the table to eat a rapidly cooling breakfast. “Lan Zhan?”

“No talking while eating.”

“That rule has to go,” Wei WuXian pouted. “As soon as I step outside that door, there are 4000 rules I’m going to break. I need to have a place where I can just be me.”

“We can’t live without rules.”

“So just a few then? Like… You have to put my hair up or I get to wear it as I please,” he said cheekily. “And no biting people.”

“No. I like biting you. The hair one I agree to.”

“Ummm…. I need a desk to work at, and I can be as messy as I need to be at my desk.”

“A disorganized space reflects a disorderly mind. I’ll get you a desk, but it needs to stay neat.”

“It’s controlled chaos, not disorganization,” Wei WuXian insisted. “If I’m reading a hundred different books and scrolls, they look like they’re just in jumbled piles as I go through them. But I know where everything is in those piles, and I can easily find a book I read days before. When I try to be neat, I can’t find anything again. You can put up a privacy screen if you’d like....”

“Agreed.”

“I get up at six, not five.”

“Agreed.”

“Seven?”

“Five.”

“All right, six…. Leave the silence spell on the Jingshi. Sometimes I talk to myself while I’m studying, and I don’t want anyone passing by to think I’m even more crazy than they already do.”

“Agreed. What else.”

“Nothing at the moment. Except I really don’t like you biting me….”

“You can bite me back.”

“Lan Zhan?”

“Mmm.”

“What are you doing today?”

“I’m training the junior disciples in the morning, and I have work in the afternoon. They elected me Head of Cultivation after the events at YunPing. Against my wishes. So now I have to read through what Jin GuangYao did for all those years.”

“Lan QiRen is finally giving up teaching, then?”

“No…. Something started bothering me in the back of my mind when you reappeared. When I returned here after that Guanyin Temple, it got clearer. It has a bit to do with something you mentioned the other night; that you’ve only lived for twenty-two years…. A’Yuan and his friends are sixteen and seventeen: not much younger than we were during the SunShot campaign. So you’ve only lived a couple of years more than they have. And yet, there is a difference, a rather large difference, between what you know and what they know.” _Some of it can be attributed to your time in the Burial Mounds; I’m sure you learned a lot more about Cultivation and the occult there than you’ve let on. And some of it is just that you learned a lot more about Cultivation than just what you were taught in classes._

“They know a lot less than we did at that age,” Wei WuXian agreed. 

“Yes. I have also thought about if they were the ones thrown into the Burial Mounds back then, would they have been able to walk out three months later?”

“I had the Yin sword.”

“Even with a Yin sword and their Golden Cores intact, do you think A’Yuan or Lan JingYi, Jin Ling or any of the other juniors would have survived? I don’t think I would have…. Jiang Cheng, Nie HuaiSang, the rest of our classmates? Even my brother who was ranked first in our generation… even he would have perished.”

“I survived for one reason and one reason only: I didn’t want to die. Not dying is a pretty powerful motivator.”

“The fact remains that you are the only person to escape the Burial Mounds in the last few hundred years. You weren’t the only one dumped in there who didn’t want to die….And I think that a large part of the reason you were able to do so is that you have so few rules to live by.” _Protect the weak. Defend the innocent. Never strike first; always strike last. Laugh and enjoy life until it’s time to be serious. And live so that when you die you have no regrets._ Wei WuXian could feel his face heating up in embarrassment at this assessment. In his mind, the less rules the better, but not to the Lan…. However, it appeared that Lan WangJi was complimenting him.... “So every few days, I have a class with the juniors where they have to solve problems and the only way to solve them is to ignore many of the Lan Rules. The Elders are furious, but my brother agrees with me: the world outside does not live by Lan Rules.”

“You, the great HanGuang-Jun, the Head of Cultivation, the person who turned himself in for breaking rules? You are teaching disciples to disregard rules?” Wei WuXian was completely flummoxed by that thought.

“I’m trying to give them the tools they need to survive out there. And if that means they need to be more like you than me, so be it.”


	5. Chapter 05

Lan WangJi smiled all day. Not that anyone noticed; his face and body externally remained as impassive as always. But inside, where only his brother and lover might notice, he was laughing and smiling and dancing with joy. Wei WuXian was alive and here and in love with him. And as long as those three remained true, the rest of the world could burn and Lan WangJi would be happy.

He had woken up at five, as he always did, but not in his usual sleeping position. Instead of lying flat on his back with his hands crossed on his chest, he had woken up on his side, left shoulder and arm numb from supporting Wei WuXian’s sleeping head for the last few hours. They lay with their legs entwined, upper arms around the other’s waist and pressed tight against the other’s bare back. Normally he would immediately get up and get ready for the day; wasting time lying in bed was against Lan rules. 

This, however, wasn’t wasting time…. This was pure and simple enjoyment. Twenty years of wanting and waiting and hoping and dreaming were over. He slowly slid his arm out from under Wei Ying’s head and untangled their legs. As he sat up, Wei Ying flopped over to lie on his back, arms and legs askew. Even more slowly, Lan WangJi pushed their blanket down, exposing skin rarely touched by sunlight. He hadn’t taken a good look the previous night; he had been far more interested in touching and being touched than looking. One fingertip, long callused from playing the guqin, archery, and swordplay, reached out and lightly traced a pair of matching criss-crossing scars on Wei WuXian’s lower left abdomen. The older scar, silvered and smoothed by time, given by Jiang Cheng in their mock duel. The newer one, healed but still red and angry looking, given by Jin Ling. The finger traveled over rectangular hills and ridges on the abdomen. Muscles that were more defined now than they had been a few months ago. He ached to slide his hand down, to push those trousers off, but he controlled himself. There was plenty of time for that later. He would respect that Wei Ying had wanted to have his lower half clothed while they slept. So his finger traveled upwards instead, tracing ribs that were too defined. _He’s too thin…._ He let his palms rest gently and lightly on firm pectoral muscles, not rubbing, not intending to stimulate the nipples there. He could feel himself getting hard as he remembered laving those nipples with his tongue just a few hours before, feeling them pebble up in response, biting them gently with his teeth, hearing Wei Ying’s gasp of pleasure, tasting salty sweat. There were more silvery marks to trace on his torso and arms, some thin and most likely made by swords and knives. A few thicker ones curving around his sides, Zidian’s whip marks perhaps. A few that looked like they might be teeth marks… permanent reminders of why Wei Ying was so afraid of dogs. He left the Wen brand for last; Wei Ying had joked through the pain after getting that one. But the mark was altered, as if someone had rebranded him over the scar. Did the Wen do that when they captured him? He could well picture Wen Chou smiling that sadistic smile as Wang LingJiao wielded her branding iron over the still healing flesh…. Reluctantly, he withdrew his fingers away from Wei Ying’s skin. They both had work to do in the morning; play time would have to wait. 

* * *

Wei WuXian was accustomed to being stared at. And gossiped about. It was almost a daily occurrence growing up in Lotus Pier simply as a side effect of being adopted by the Sect leader and the rumor that he was Jiang FengMian’s bastard child. Any and all of his antics just added fuel to an already existing fire. And it became more wide-spread after his accomplishments at the end of the SunShot Campaign and then becoming the notorious Yiling Patriarch. But he had expected the normally reserved Lan to be better behaved than this. Especially since a prohibition against gossiping was number something or other in their 4000 rules. Granted what they were staring at was an unusual situation even for Wei WuXian. Having cleared multiple bins of scrolls and removed more than a dozen books from their shelf in the library, he needed to find a way to carry them all back to the Jingshi. He decided the easiest way would be to wrap the scrolls in his sash, slide SuiBian’s rope handle through one end, and then tie the sash ends over one shoulder, and carry the books in his arms. This left his outerrobes flapping freely as he walked, exposing his red underrobe and trousers. And on top of that, he had bathed and washed his hair after his training session with ZuWun Jun, and his hair still hung tangled and wet down his back, gathered only by a simple leather tie at the nape of his neck. All the important body parts were covered, but…. Who knew that such a sight would be enough to warrant all the eyebrows being raised and tongues wagging? 

He entered the Jingshi to see that at some point during the afternoon the study alcove had been rearranged. Lan WangJi’s desk was turned sideways and a second desk, with a single book on it, now faced it. He carefully placed his library books and the sash of scrolls next to his desk and picked up the lone book. 

“You left me erotica!” He let out a low whistle and grinned thinking about how red faced his lover must have been buying this book. Flipping through the pages, he could feel his own face turning pink as he tried to not gawk at the images of men pleasuring each other. “I still think it looks painful,” he said to himself; the current picture showed one man on his back with his knees pressed up near his shoulders and the other man half buried in his ass. “They look like they’re enjoying it, though…” He flipped back to the beginning of the book and began reading. 

Not even ten minutes later Lan WangJi arrived home to the odd sight of Wei WuXian standing over his desk pointing at the book and scolding it. “I pity the poor men who read this book and actually used those talismans!” Wei WuXian scoffed. 

“Is something wrong?”

“Did you use these things? I hope not! This one here,” Wei WuXian yelled, stabbing a finger on one image. “This one is _supposed_ to clean you out, right? Do you know what it does?” Lan Zhan shook his head slightly. “It _will_ clean you, all right. It will slowly turn everything in your bowels to liquid. You’ll be cleaned out at the end, but you’ll be squatting over a latrine for hours beforehand! And this one!” Wei WuXian turned a few pages and pointed at the drawing revealed. “This one is a slightly less intense version of the one put on people right before their arm or leg is amputated! You use that on my butt, and I won’t feel a thing! Nothing. For days. I won’t even feel when I need to use the latrine!” He slammed the book shut. “Who writes this junk? Does no one proofread books for accuracy before they are copied and sold? This book says tearing is possible. Bleeding. How is he supposed to know that he’s being hurt like that if he can’t feel anything? How is a man supposed to enjoy this if he can’t _feel anything_?” 

“You asked how men have sex. That book has the best illustrations of various positions. I didn’t think you’d take it as a how-to guide. If you don’t like it, I’ll show you where these books are in the library tomorrow, and you can pick out your own.”

“You have erotica in your library?” Wei WuXian was incredulous. The stick-up-the-butt Lan had erotic books in their _library_? For anyone to read and take home? Not dust covered and hidden away in the Forbidden section? 

“Of course. How else are we supposed to learn how to take care of our lovers? We are forbidden from promiscuity, forbidden from having pre-marital sex, although I’m sure that rule gets broken often enough. If a man doesn't learn how to take care of his lover, he can hurt him quite badly. The man has to make sure his lover’s body is prepared sufficiently, but how can he know that without learning it somewhere?”

Wei WuXian had no answer to that. His own sex talk with his adopted father had been limited to ‘leave the servant girls and shop girls alone. They might feel that they can’t say no to you. And treat women Cultivators with the utmost respect because they’ve had sword training, too.’ His own Shijie had not been a strong Cultivator: even she knew how and where to stab a man to kill him. And sex talks with other boys had been about giggling over the pornographic novels and bragging of their prowess while knowing that none of them had any experience in using any of the techniques shown. “And yet, there you were, acting all embarrassed back then when I showed you mine.” He laughed. “Except it wasn’t even mine. I borrowed it from Nie HuaiSang who found it in his brother’s room.”

“I _was_ embarrassed. These are books you read by yourself or with your lover. Not something to share between friends.”

“I don’t think we _were_ friends back then…. I wanted us to be friends.” Catching Lan WangJi’s measured look which appeared to disagree with that statement, Wei WuXian amended his answer a bit. “All right, yes. I wanted you to look at me. Just me. What did I know at fifteen? I thought it was just a different kind of friendship.”

“I never wanted to be just a friend to you.”

“And now that I’m not ‘just a friend’, what are you going to do about it?” Wei WuXian teased.

“Anything and everything you’ll let me.” Lan WangJi promised. There seemed to be a fire burning in his eyes, and its flame ignited something deep in Wei WuXian’s belly. Lust, butterflies. His mouth went dry and his skin started to itch. 

Wei WuXian dropped his eyes first. “I feel… I don’t know what I feel. I’ve been punched, stabbed, bitten, whipped, branded, broke several bones, and been cut by far too many swords and knives. And none of that has ever stopped me from heading right back into a fight again knowing that I’ll get hurt again. _That_ can’t possibly hurt worse than losing my core, and yet…. I feel stupid for saying I’m not ready yet. I feel stupid for not wanting to feel this pain. I know you want to do it, and I want to make you happy….”

“I waited for you for twenty years. We can wait until you’re ready.” _I’m not exactly in a rush to have you come inside my body, either_. In all of his dreams over the years, not one had involved Wei Ying being the penetrator. But if his love wanted it that way, he would submit. 

Wei WuXian walked around his desk to stand in front of Lan WangJi. “I love you, Lan Zhan,” he whispered and leaned forward to press their lips together. Nimble fingers made short work of the ties holding his inner robes together. Lan WangJi reached up to push Wei Ying’s robes and shirt off, even as he moved to deepen the kiss, allowing their tongues to duel. Wei Ying had to pull back from the kiss to reach down to pull his boots off. Laughing and panting, he danced a few steps away. “You’ve got too many clothes on, Lan Zhan….” Lan Zhan growled low in his throat. “You like what you see?” Wei Ying’s hands fondled the ties of his trousers. “You show me yours and I’ll show you mine…”

A knock at the door stopped both men. “Brother? Are you there?” they heard Lan XiChen ask. 

“To be continued later, huh?” Wei WuXian giggled and went to collect his clothes. Lan WangJi sighed, momentarily hating his beloved elder brother, and walked slowly to open the door, giving Wei WuXian ample time to re-dress as much as possible given that his sash was still full of scrolls. Just as Lan WangJi was about to open the door, Wei WuXian, still laughing, gasped, “The book!” and ran to hide the novel in a pocket in his sleeve. 

Lan XiChen noticed Wei WuXian’s slightly red face and snorting laughter, but since the man seemed only to ever have two emotional expressions: deadly serious and absurdly happy, he dismissed them as not important. He graciously accepted an offer of tea. Wei WuXian declined, and sat at a desk to read. No further words were exchanged as the water heated and the tea steeped, but Lan XiChen ‘heard’ loud and clear the conversation between his younger brother and Wei WuXian. The one at the desk smirked and tilted his head: _I’ll have wine, thank you!_ The one at making tea wrinkled his brows slightly: _No._ The smirk got wider: _I’m not greedy; you two can have some, too._ The teensiest of frowns: _We’re in Cloud Recesses, Wei Ying. Behave!_ The smile faded into a coy pout: _Please?_ A shake of the head: _No. End of discussion._ The smirk came back and eyes slid over to glance at Lan XiChen then back to Lan WangJi: _We’ll talk about this after he leaves. You can’t hide my wine forever, you know._ The frown smoothed out into a small smile: _I have far more patience than you do._ Lan XiChen hid his own smile in his sleeve and drank some tea.

The fifteen year old Wei WuXian had shone brighter than the sun. His smile infectious, his intelligence unquestionable, his swordplay more than a match for other older cultivators, his archery skills unbeatable. His cultivation ability ranked fourth of their generation most likely simply because he wasn’t studious enough to test at number one. Or, and possibly more likely, he didn’t care about scoring better. He was the very definition of a natural born leader, and more mischievous than a toddler searching for forbidden sweets. He had led the way in pranks and general naughtiness during his short time studying in Cloud Recesses. He was everything a Sect leader could want in a son and heir…. Except that he wasn’t a Sect leader’s heir…. 

The sixteen year old WangJi had had no defences against him. Lan XiChen had smiled back then, watching his younger brother fall deeper and deeper under Wei WuXian’s unintentional spell. He had thought that their friendship would be a good thing: Wei WuXian would encourage WangJi to stop being so prim and proper all the time, and WangJi would temper Wei WuXian’s excesses. 

It wasn’t until Wei WuXian disappeared for those months after the devastation at Lotus Pier that Lan XiChen realized that his brother did not share a mere friendship with Wei WuXian…. That what he felt went deeper than brothers, even. But by then it was too late to save WangJi from Wei WuXian. 

And as the SunShot campaign ended, and the cultivation world saw Wei WuXian controlling resentful energy, controlling the dead, Lan XiChen was afraid, unfortunately correctly, that it was too late to save Wei WuXian from himself, too. 

The thirty-five year old Wei WuXian was, of course, almost exactly the same as he had been at fifteen. He tired faster, most likely due to his missing Core. His temper was easier to break, but that was to be expected given the massive amount of betrayals... . But he remained the brilliant sun that WangJi orbited around.

After thirteen years of mourning, WangJi was smiling again. 

The man responsible for that smile returning was skimming a book. Lan XiChen had never seen anyone read so fast. “I don’t remember you being this studious at fifteen,” he commented.

Wei WuXian didn’t bother to look up from the book. “I’m not a scholar to study for the sole sake of gaining knowledge. I prefer to study as a way to solve a problem.” He tossed the book on the floor. “Useless.” He grabbed the next book in the pile, and started reading, more slowly this time.

“That book doesn’t have what you’re looking for?” 

“Wen Qing had it at that Supervisory Office of hers. I read it a couple of years ago when I was trying to help Jiang Cheng recover his Golden Core.” He conveniently, or accidentally, ignored the missing years. “It was useless as a resource book then, too, but I had to make sure I didn’t miss something.”

“It is impossible to regrow a Golden Core. Everyone knows that.” Lan XiChen knew he sounded more than a bit pompous, but everyone _did_ know that. So what was Wei WuXian trying to accomplish?

“There are two types of impossible,” Wei Ying mused, “the ones that are actually impossible and the ones that have simply not been done yet.” He took a sharp glance at his elder. “I prefer to think of ‘impossibles’ as being more of the second kind than the first. It is the lazy way to think that because no one has done it yet, no one ever will.” 

As Wei WuXian’s gaze returned to Lan WangJi, Lan XiChen felt as if he was hearing their unspoken conversation again. _I will stand by your side whole again one day_ one seemed to say. _As long as you stand by my side, you will always be whole in my heart_ the other avowed _._ Promises as deep and permanent as wedding vows. Promises that indicated their affection for each other still went beyond mere friendship and brotherhood. 

Would these two want to get married? Most cutsleeves seemed to prefer to keep their relationships hidden so as not to excite animosity from the unaccepting. It wasn’t exactly against the Lan Rules, but it was certainly frowned upon by the Elders…. And every other Sect. They might be pushed into it, though, given the unfortunate focus of the Cultivation Conference coming up. Lan XiChen cleared his throat; this was slightly embarrassing. “You both will need to sit for an artist in the next few days to have your picture sketched. Every unwed cultivator aged sixteen and older is getting a portrait taken. The pictures are all going to have a short list of the person’s accomplishments and familial connections on the back and be bound into books with a copy given to each Clan.”

“No.” They both spoke at the same time.

Wei WuXian snorted. “Told you this conference was going to turn into a marriage auction.” He didn’t even attempt to keep the contempt from his voice. “I won’t marry for politics.”

Lan WangJi was firm in his response. “No. I already have an heir.” He looked across the room at his lover, and tried to keep the hurt from his voice. “Wei Ying… you should do it.”


	6. Chapter 06

“No.”

“I can’t give you children,” Lan Zhan reminded him gently, his heart breaking. 

“You can’t give me children.” Wei Ying repeated sadly. Then he abruptly stood up, fists clenched. “You and I share no womb between us, so I should consider marrying some woman just so she can give me a child? Must my desire to be a father be tied to fucking a woman I don’t love? Do you think I could love A’Yuan any more than I already do if he was born of my seed? Do you love him any less because he doesn’t share a drop of your blood?” Wei Ying trembled with anger. “If I had known A’Yuan was not murdered back then, don’t you think I would have found a way to keep him safe with me? Do you think I still would have gone to the Nightless City to die if I had known he was alive?” Tears started coursing down his face, an echo of the pain he had felt knowing his new family was dead because of him. “I would have taken him and run to the ends of the earth to keep him safe…. I thought he was dead… I thought they were all dead. I stepped off that cliff because I honestly, truly believed that everyone I loved was dead or hated me….” 

“Wei Ying….” Lan Zhan felt like crying, too. 

“Are blood ties that much stronger than the ones you choose? If so, where were my blood relatives when I was four and my parents left me alone? Why didn’t any of them come to claim me? I can understand why they might not want to claim the Yiling Patriarch as one of their own, but a child? I was four years old! Was I such a monster even then that my blood kin did not want me?

“I can be a dad to as many children as we want, Lan Zhan. There are hundreds of orphaned and unwanted children out there waiting for someone to claim them as their own. And if there comes a day when you or I really want a child of our blood, we can figure something out. Please don’t ask me to leave you….” He fell to his knees, begging, pleading. Any semblance of pride gone. “I love you, Lan Zhan. How can I marry a stranger when my heart belongs to you? How can you ask me to marry someone else after you’ve said you’ve loved me for twenty years? Or are you now going to try to convince me that last night was all a lie?”

Lan Zhan slid over to hold his lover’s shaking body close. “It wasn’t a lie.” 

Wei Ying buried his head in Lan Zhan’s chest. “You can do whatever you want to me…. My ass, my mouth, my hands. All for you. My body is yours for the taking. I don’t care about the pain anymore. Anytime you want…. Anything you want…. Just please. Please, don’t ask me to marry someone else…. I won’t do it. I can’t…. Don’t ask me to leave you….”

“I won’t ask you to marry someone else,” Lan Zhan promised into the curve of Wei Ying’s neck. 

“You said there is only one person you want to marry.”

“There is only one person I will ever marry.”

“Promise me you will only ask that one person to marry you.”

“I promise I will only ever ask that one person to marry me.”

Wei Ying lifted a tear streaked face to look around the empty room and then back at his love as a rather embarrassing thought crossed his mind. “Lan Zhan? When did your brother leave?”  _ I hope it was before I told Lan Zhan he could have my ass…. _ Lan WangJi shook his head slowly; he hadn’t noticed his brother leaving, either. 

As the two men stared at each other, Wei Ying’s words rang in their heads:  _ My ass, my mouth, my hands. All for you. My body is yours for the taking.  _ As much as Lan Zhan wanted to immediately accept every piece of this incredible gift, he knew Wei Ying had only made the offer under pressure. 

As for Wei Ying, now that he had abruptly decided to give himself fully to Lan Zhan, any worries he had had were gone. Pain was temporary; Lan Zhan was forever. His hands pulled first one boot off, then the other. His fingers quickly untied the ties at his waist, and he pushed his robes back and off. Wei Ying stood and walked to the bed, shoving his trousers down and kicking them off. “Do you want me on my back or on my hands and knees? I think I’d prefer to be on my back for this first time….” he babbled. 

Lan Zhan simply stared at the beautiful body bared before him. “I read my first pornographic book when I was twelve after I moved into the teenager dorm. One of my roommates left it on his bed. The story, the pictures…. None of them moved me. I thought maybe I was too young to have those needs. So I tried again at thirteen, at fourteen, fifteen. I read every book in the library, even the ones with just men, and…. I felt nothing.” He shook his head. “Or I’d be with other disciples, especially ones from other Sects on a night hunt, and hear them whispering about this beautiful woman or that pretty girl and what they would like to do with her, and I would look and feel nothing. I could admire their beauty in an abstract kind of way. Like one admires a flower or a painting. 

“And then there you were. 

“It wasn’t simply that you’re beautiful; I’ve seen women and men who are more beautiful and they don’t arouse me. Or that you’re smart, although I love how smart you are. Or that you can talk circles around everyone while I can hardly talk to anyone. There is just something about you that calls to every cell of my body. From the moment I first really looked at you until the end of time: you are why my heart beats, why my lungs inhale and exhale. You are the only reason I exist. At sixteen, it was unnerving. I didn’t like it. I didn’t want it. I hated the way you made me feel. I hated that you made me feel. And at the same time, I craved it like a strangled man craves air or a starving man craves food.”

Wei Ying was feeling very uncomfortable under this unrelenting scrutiny and quiet recitation. He wrapped the blanket around himself and plopped onto the middle of the bed, giving his naked self a modicum of protection.

“That afternoon, after the presentation of gifts, we had a few hours free time. Do you remember? I hid in the Jingshi because for the first time in my life, I felt aroused and needed the release. I pictured you in my mind: your smile, your pout, your laughter, the way you dance when you fight. I did it so many times that afternoon, I needed to sit in the Cold Springs to get some relief.

“For twenty years you have been the one person I lust for. The one person who makes me burn just from a look. From just the memory of a look. I ache to kiss you, to learn how to give your body pleasure. I want to bury myself inside your body and stay there until neither of us can move anymore. I want to learn what makes you moan or gasp or scream. I dream you’re in my arms and wake up wanting to cry because you’re not.”

“Then why are you over there and not over here doing all that to me?”

“Because I need you to know….” Lan Zhan got up and sat on his heels in front of his love. “Even if you hadn’t kissed me last night…. Even if you never kiss me or touch me again. Just you being here with me is enough. You alone are all I need. Just you.” 

“What are you saying?”

“You, just you, are enough. You have always been enough to me. Whether or not you have a Core. Whether or not you use spiritual energy or resentful energy to Cultivate. Whether or not you love me back, although I prefer that you love me. You are all I want, all I need. Just you. Exactly as you are.” As the tears started streaming down Wei Ying’s face, Lan Zhan wiped them away with calloused fingertips. “Don’t cry, A’Xian. Please don’t cry.”

Wei Ying let go of the blanket and threw his arms around Lan Zhan’s neck and pulled them both down to lie on the bed. “You are enough for me, too. I love you. I meant what I said,” he whispered in between kisses, “My body is yours.” His hands slid down to tangle with Lan Zhan’s as they stripped the latter of his clothes. 

Lan Zhan pulled away from Wei Ying to reach over the side of the bed to pull open a small drawer under the platform. He pulled out a small piece of paper and a bottle. Handing the paper over, he asked, “Does this do the cleaning job?” Wei Ying analyzed the drawing on it, and nodded. Shaking the bottle a little, Lan Zhan added, “This is massage oil. It’s really good for when you’re using your hands…. There’s a lot less chafing. But it also supposedly helps ease the way for when we….” He couldn’t finish that sentence. He could feel his ears burning. How do couples talk about sex? It was bad enough telling Wei Ying of his early forays, but this was just…. At least earlier he had clothes on…. Being naked and kissing and touching had been heaven the night before. Being naked and touching and clinical tonight was… This was all just so embarrassing! 

“For when you’re going to be inside me?”

“Mmm,” he swallowed audibly. “The only talismans I’ve seen that eliminate the pain just make everything numb. So you don’t feel anything. The books say if you prepare it first, go slow and steady and use plenty of lubricant, then the pain is less.”

“Lan Zhan?”

“Mmm.”

“I want to feel you inside me. I want to be one body with you. I’m not scared anymore. Use the talisman. Use the oil. Love me… let me love you….”

One slippery finger entered Wei Ying’s body with little resistance and no pain. Just an uncomfortable fullness and a need to expel the foreign object. The second finger had him breathing a little harder, trying to relax his inner muscles. And then those fingers accidentally touched something inside that had Wei Ying gasping and begging for more. Lan Zhan swallowed audibly as the body beneath him twisted in search of pleasure. “Wei Ying, I cannot wait anymore,” he half apologized. Wei Ying bit his lip and his fingers dug into Lan Zhan’s shoulders at the sudden intrusion. The pain of being abruptly stretched was eclipsed as Lan Zhan ‘s body touched that little spot again. Each stroke was easier than the one before as Wei Ying’s body first adapted to and then begged for the invading object. Eyes blind to everything but pleasure, the two men’s hips snapped together, trying to achieve that perfect moment. Mouths kissed and bit anything within reach. Hands sometimes caressed, sometimes gripped hard, pushing or pulling the other’s sweat slick body into a more pleasurable position. And then Wei Ying’s body stretched taut and he released all over their bellies. Lan Zhan folded the now pliant body underneath him almost in half, and hammered into it until he, too, released and then collapsed on top of his lover.

When Wei Ying could finally gather his mind back to some semblance of coherency, he complained. “We should have done this twenty years ago…. All that time in the library together… we could have been having fun instead of me copying your Rule book…. 

“Lan Zhan? If you drag me to get punished in the morning, I won’t do this again with you for at least a day!”

“You promised me anything I want, anytime I want. I will hold you to that promise. I want you again. Now.”

“Give me a while, huh? I’m sore.” He thought for a bit. “How many strikes would it be anyways?” He counted the marks against them on his fingers. “Pre-marital sex, promiscuity, staying up past nine, being loud…. What other rules have we broken tonight?”

“Alcohol. You brought it in, and I didn’t throw it out. At least fifty if we were children still. But I wouldn’t confess to promiscuity or pre-marital sex. As far as I’m concerned, we’ve already done the three prostrates, so we’re married.”

“I haven’t prostrated with you!” Wei Ying protested.

“When we honored your parents and sister at Lotus Pier. I said my vows in my head.”

“Ah. That. I thought about it,” Wei Ying admitted. “Can men get married in Cloud Recesses?”

“There’s no rule against it. The Elders may frown and be upset, but they won’t go against me.”

“Why not?”

“When XiChen and I returned from YunPing, he gave the Elders an abridged version of the events from that night. At the end, I told them I would be inviting you to live here the next time I saw you. Even knowing you were not guilty of the vast majority of the crimes alleged against you, they still, every single one of them, said absolutely not.”

“So how am I here?”

“I removed my forehead ribbon.”

Wei Ying thought for a long while about what that simple statement meant. “You would leave your home for me?”

“Lan Zhan or Wei Zhan. The name is irrelevant. I am who I am. Lan Zhan without Wei Ying is nothing.  _ You  _ are my home.” Flushed with love and happiness, Wei Ying wiggled his body in Lan Zhan’s embrace; the other immediately grabbed tighter, “What are you doing?”

“I can still move….”

A few hours later, exhausted and sore from their exertions, a boneless Wei Ying snuggled into his lover. “Lan Zhan… now I really can’t move. Thankfully cultivators’ bodies heal quickly or I wouldn’t be able to walk tomorrow.”

“Wei Ying?”

“Yes, Lan Zhan?”

“I love it when you say my name….”

“Lan Zhan?”

“Yes?”

“I love saying your name, too….”

“Wei Ying?’

“Yes, Lan Zhan?”

“Will you walk beside me for the rest of our lives?” Lan Zhan asked quietly.

“For the rest of all of our lives and for the eternity to follow. A thousand lifetimes with you will not be long enough.”

* * *

Lan WangJi saw his brother standing outside the dining pavilion and paused, ears flushing bright red. “Good morning, WangJi,” the elder said. “Would you take a walk with me before we eat?” Lan WangJi nodded cautiously. He still wasn’t sure how much his sibling had heard the night before. “I left when the cursing began,” Lan XiChen offered. “I assume a wedding is being planned? I’ll have father’s wedding clothes cleaned for you.” 

Lan WangJi just looked at his brother for a few moments before nodding slowly. “Am I disappointing you?”

Lan XiChen sighed. “I’ve known you were in love with him for at least fifteen years. Once he came back, I knew it was only a matter of time before you left us.”

“Why would I leave?” Lan WangJi asked, confused. “You and the Elders are allowing him to stay….”

Lan XiChen smiled. “And how long will Wei WuXian stay here for you? How long can he stay in this restrictive environment? A year? Two? No more than that, certainly. And when he leaves, you’ll be going with him…. I can’t imagine you letting him go off alone again any more than I can imagine him leaving you behind. The YilingWei Sect will need your calming influence on his erratic brilliance.”

“The YilingWei Sect?”

“Where else can he go?” Lan XiChen asked lightly. “It’s either Yiling or Qishan. But I’m guessing the Yiling Patriarch will return to Yiling…. There are enough pretend Wei disciples wandering around that he can pick and choose the best of them to start his Sect. I’m sure there are more than a few Wen who escaped the Purge who remember what he tried to do for them, and they will come to work for him. And I’m certain that more than a few juniors from the various Sects will go to him for teaching for a few years before they return home to their families. SiZhui will definitely go with you. And Wen Ning.” He left out a little laugh. “The only disappointing part is that with SiZhui going with you, I’m going to have to get married now…. Good thing there’s a marriage auction coming up, then, right?”

“I’m sorry,” Lan WangJi bowed low.

“No need for apologies. I’m not opposed to the idea of marriage. I just haven’t ever found someone I like enough….”

* * *

Lan WangJi placed the breakfast tray on the table and went over to sit on the bed. It wasn’t yet six o’clock so he had some time to relax before it was time to wake Wei Ying up. As he had done the morning before, he pushed the blanket down, this time revealing Wei Ying’s body in all its naked glory. The opalescent skin had a few dark red spots on it that weren’t there the day before. He had discovered how to make one quite by accident during their third round. And had liked the sight of that mark so much that he made a dozen more, all but that first one able to be covered by clothing…. 

“Morning, Lan Zhan,” a sleepy voice slurred.

“How are you feeling?”

“Good.” Wei Ying smiled and stretched, eyes still closed. “Really good. Sore. A really good sore.”

“Too sore?” Lan Zhan tried to keep the hope out of his voice and failed miserably. 

Wei Ying’s eyes flew open in astonishment. “You want to go again? Four times in eight hours was not enough for you?” Lan Zhan frowned at his lap. Wei Ying followed his lover’s gaze to see that something was definitely tenting the trousers and robes there. “If I’m late to archery practice, I’m going to tell them whose fault it is….” 

Lan Zhan untied his robes and shucked off his trousers. “Turn around,” he growled, upending the bottle of oil onto his palm. 

Wei Ying rolled onto his stomach a bit nervously. “Go easy on this poor body, huh?” He shuddered as one hand gripped his hip hard enough to leave bruises while the other pressed down on a shoulder blade. 

Lan Zhan eased himself into the body lying below him. “I can go easy on you or you can be on time to archery,” he promised. When Wei Ying simply moaned and grasped the bed sheet tight in his fists as a response, Lan Zhan smirked happily. “I’ll take responsibility for you being late….”


	7. Chapter 07

Lan Zhan sat down next to Wei Ying and handed him a box. Wei Ying lifted the lid to see two headbands: one in Lan blue, the other in black. He picked up the black one and examined the medallion in the middle. “These aren’t clouds…”

“No,” Lan Zhan answered. “It’s the silhouette of the mountains as seen from Yiling city. You are the Yiling Patriarch, so I felt your headband should reflect that. It still gives you access to everything in Cloud Recesses.” Lan Zhan plucked the ribbon out of Wei Ying’s fingers and carefully tied it around his head. “Just like all the other Lan headbands, only your spouse should touch it.”

Wei Ying leaned over and placed a teasing kiss on the edge of Lan Zhan’s mouth. “You’ve already touched it, and we’re not married, yet.”

“You touched mine years before you agreed to marry me.”

“When do I get to put yours on you?”

“During our wedding.”

Wei Ying looked through the rest of the items in the box. Matching outer robes, one black, the other white, with the same silhouette of the Yiling mountains embroidered on the cuffs and hem. And embroidered on the front of them was a stylized phoenix: wings spread and blazing in metallic golds, reds, and oranges. “For the opening night banquet at Lanling,” Lan Zhan explained. “As Head Cultivator, I am announced separately from the rest of the Lan Sect. You can walk in with me, if you’d like. Or by yourself. But I want to make it clear to everyone that you are not a disgraced member of the YunMengJiang Sect begging for re-admittance; you are the Yiling Patriarch and more than equal to any Sect leader there.”

“And that you’re my husband.”

“Mmm”

“Why a phoenix? With my black and red, isn’t that a bit too close to the Wen Sect’s symbols?”

“Who other than you can really claim the phoenix as a symbol? Now go quickly or you’ll be late to your sword practice.” Wei Ying shuddered in remembrance of the one and only time he had been careless in paying attention to the time; Lan XiChen did not appreciate tardiness and he took it out on his student’s hide. What was normally a taxing session that required him to soak in a hot bath afterwards had been turned into a grueling, torturous bout after which he was carried to rest in the healing waters of the Cold Spring for an hour.

* * *

Wei Ying groaned in pleasure as Lan Zhan’s clever fingers found another knot in his back and smoothed it out. He had arrived at the practice field exactly on time, which meant he was almost late, and ZeWun-Jun had increased the intensity of the training in punishment. “Oh, Lan Zhan? I know what I want as a wedding present from you.” His partner hmmd to acknowledge he was listening. “After the conference, can we go to YunMeng and look for my parents’ graves?”

Lan WangJi’s hands stilled for a moment, then continued searching for and smoothing out knots. “Of course.” It wasn’t an odd request as they had already made arrangements to pray before his own parent’s tomb before their wedding ceremony. But Wei Ying had no clear memory of where he had lived as a baby and no information as to where they died or were buried. YunMeng was a place to start looking, but there was an awful lot of countryside to search in. Perhaps some of Jiang FengMian’s records escaped the Wen destruction….

“I finally found the book on golden cores I’ve been hoping existed in the Forbidden section of the library a few days ago. The core is formed with the body, kind of like a hand or a heart. So either the body has one at birth or it doesn’t. And once destroyed, the golden core cannot be regrown or restored. But it can be transferred. More importantly, it doesn’t follow the soul after death into rebirth. Wen Qing found the method to transfer a core from one living person to another, but this book has examples of a core being transferred from a dead person to a living one. As long as the body is intact and the soul is willing to reanimate the body during the transfer process, and you have someone able to attach the soul to the body during the transfer, it can be done.

“No one has been able to do this for the last thousand years or so because it involves having control over resentful energy. Other cultivators have used resentful energy, but they were never able to control it, only succumb to it. I can do the last part, you can use Inquiry to ask my parents if one of them is willing, and…. We just have to find if my parents were buried or cremated….”

“Does it have to be your family member?”

“No.”

“My parents were not cremated.” Wei WuXian twisted around on the bed to look at his almost husband, hope shining in his eyes. “I can use Inquiry to ask them tonight. I’m sure that if my parents agree with giving you one of their cores, my brother will not be upset that we have to disturb their tomb for a few days. And he can assist us…. If my parents agree, we can start the transfer tomorrow and you will be whole again for our wedding day!”

“But your uncle…. He will never agree to do this….”

“My uncle may object. And my father may listen to his younger brother. But they can’t forbid us from transferring my mother’s core if she agrees!” He got up off the bed. “What book is it? I’ll go talk to my brother right now…. No. I’ll talk to my parents first, and then my brother.”

Wei Ying pointed to a book on his desk. “That one.”

Lan WangJi fumed. “You removed a book from the Forbidden section?”

“No!” the other protested. “I copied the book and took the copy out of the Forbidden section.”

“You copied the book. How?” Lan WangJi picked up the tome, easily a hundred pages thick and filled with small handwriting. There was no way Wei WuXian had the time to copy the book given that his morning hours were filled with archery lessons, his afternoons filled with sword practice, and his nights filled with… anatomy exercises. That left only an hour or so after dinner for his research time….

“Well… being forced to write the 3000 Lan rules left an awful lot of time for my mind to think about other things. Like how to copy the whole book without setting a brush in ink. I managed to create a trick to copy single pages rather easily.” As Lan Zhan glared at him, Wei Ying quickly added, “I only did it for a couple of pages to make sure the trick worked! It’s not like you noticed, anyway! And it wasn’t that hard to extrapolate that into copying an entire book. I also figured out the basic idea of how to create hundreds of copies rather quickly without the use of spells. But once I was done copying your rules, I didn’t think about that again until the other day.

“There are quite a few details that need to be worked out, but imagine! One carves the reverse image of each character onto a block of wood, then you lay them all down in order, and it’s like using your seal. Except instead of a single symbol pressed into the paper, it would be an entire sheet of characters pressed at once! There has to be a better way to ink them than by inking the blocks one by one, though…. I’m sure I can figure it out, given some more time to think about it….”

Lan WangJi interrupted his lover’s musings. “That sounds like a wonderful invention, and I think you should look further into it. After we get you a core, after our wedding, and after the Lanling Conference.” He leaned down to place a kiss on the top of his lover’s head. “I’ll go now, then. Go for a soak in the Cold Springs, hmm?”

Both parents gave an enthusiastic yes. ZeWu-Jun was slightly less enthusiastic; disturbing graves was against several of the Lan Rules. Lan QiRen had to first be informed about the missing core and then allowed to vent at length about being kept in the dark. He was vehemently against the idea and only reluctantly changed his mind after Lan WangJi played Inquiry to his parents again and the five of them discussed the matter thoroughly.

* * *

Lan SiZhui had a moral dilemma. His father was getting married in a few days; the ceremony details and guests were all arranged. And the three people that he felt were rather important to XianGege were not on the confirmed guest list: Jiang WanYin, Lin Jing, and Wen Ning. The guest list was small to begin with, so he wasn’t sure if this was an oversight, a deliberate omission, or if those three had declined their invitations…. Being under eighteen, he was not supposed to leave Cloud Recesses without a really good reason or familial permission. The only accepted exception was to run an errand in CaiYi town or Gusu City…. But with both of his fathers, and adopted uncle and great uncle in seclusion until the day of the wedding, he couldn’t even ask them for permission.

The Elders would probably not give permission, either, as they were not thrilled about the marriage in the first place. They had only reluctantly stopped voicing their objections after HanGuang-Jun had practically ordered them to. There was definitely a threat involved in that ‘order’, one that remained unvoiced, but one that the Elders took seriously. They could either publicly accept the marriage or lose their senior disciple, and the prestige of having the Head Cultivator, to another Sect.

Lan SiZhui was a good boy, a good disciple. A good Lan. But he had also spent more than enough time now with a more carefree spirit who embodied the idea of ‘sometimes it’s better to beg for forgiveness than to ask for permission.’ So he pretended to have an errand in CaiYi town as an excuse to leave Cloud Recessess, and boarded his sword instead for Jin Ling and Koi Tower.

Jin Ling, at just turned fourteen, existed at the annoyingly frustrating boundary between being too old to be just a boy and too young to be considered a real man. His status as Sect Leader gave him a place at the table in making Sect decisions, but being only fourteen meant he was often overruled. Or just plain ignored. As host of the upcoming Cultivator Conference, he was theoretically responsible for ensuring there were sufficient appropriate activities, lectures, accommodations and the like, for the attendees. However, his recently deceased uncle, Jin GuangYao, had trained his underlings well, and all Jin Ling was expected to do was nod his head in acceptance and voice his agreement while they did all the work. More frustratingly, he was also expected to sit out of most of the more exciting activities during the Conference to let the older disciples shine as they were the ones expected to make a match. While there were plenty of fathers who had expressed interest in marrying off their daughters to Jin Ling once he reached a more mature age, Uncle Jiang had made it quite clear, multiple times, that he would not accept an offer for an arranged marriage to his nephew.

In private, he had stated that marriages worked best if both parties shared a mutual respect and affection for each other, and that that should be held to a higher priority than political affiliations. Jin Ling was quite certain that comment had something to do with his parents’ original failed betrothal and subsequent marriage less than nine months before his birth. And with a marriage his uncle may have wanted for himself…. Uncle Jiang was occasionally overly vocal when drunk, and more than a few times had loudly berated himself for bowing to political pressure and allowing his beloved sister to marry ‘that peacock’ over his elder brother’s quite reasonable objections. Far less often, but often enough, he broke down and cried over a comb that an unnamed woman had returned because of the politics between their Sects.

So the unexpected appearance of his friend Lan SiZhui was a pleasure, and the invitation to Cloud Recesses for a few days a welcome distraction. There might not be a whole lot of exciting things to do in Cloud Recesses, but at least it got him away from the increasingly hectic preparations for the Conference. Plus Uncle Wei and Wen Ning were living there now. And while he still had mixed feelings towards that uncle and the Ghost General, SiZhui told him if all else failed, there were rabbits to play with.

Jiang Cheng was also at Koi Tower when Lan SiZhui flew in, having arrived more than a week early for the Conference. His excuse was that he had important matters to discuss with the Jin Elders, but Jin Ling thought it far more likely that he simply wanted to keep an eye on his nephew. Jiang Cheng also readily accepted his invitation to Cloud Recesses, which made Lan SiZhui quite certain that wedding invitations were never issued.

Wen Ning had built a home in the woods outside of Cloud Recesses. The Elders occasionally voiced their displeasure amongst themselves, but HanGuang-Jun and ZeWu-Jun made it quite clear that Wen Ning was part and parcel of any arrangement that included Wei WuXian. They had given Wen Ning a jade token that allowed him to enter Cloud Recesses as he wished, but the shy Ghost General preferred to stay by himself and only entered when invited.

Two days later Lan SiZhui, Jin Ling, and Wen Ning hid from their fellow juniors (and Jiang WanYin) in one of the more secluded rabbit patches. Jin Ling was extremely frustrated. With his strict uncle hovering over him and the fun one off no one knew where, he was not enjoying his time in Cloud Recesses. Well, that was not entirely the truth. With their primary teachers in seclusion, all the junior disciples were free to goof off as long as they were careful to stay away from the Elders. And Jiang WanYin. They played pranks on each other and held bravado contests that had their parents wondering if they were sixteen or six. But it seemed to Jin Ling that there was something essential missing from their fun and games, and he had a sneaking suspicion that the missing piece was Uncle Wei…. “Do you know where my uncle is?” he whined to Lan SiZhui for what had to be the fiftieth time that day.

“I told you, no.” Lan SiZhui was equally frustrated. When other adults went into seclusion there was never this complete lack of information and contact. Someone brought them meals, and brought back status reports. Even if said status report was simply an instruction to stop bothering them. But no one had seen or heard from those four men in almost three full days now. Even several adults and a few Elders were overheard wondering about the whereabouts of their Sect Leader and company. Lan SiZhui fell back into the grass and clutched a rabbit to his chest. “I miss Senior Wei, too.”

Wen Ning was covered by almost twenty rabbits as he lay in the grass. “The young masters will be fine,” he reassured them. They’re still in Cloud Recesses, right? What can hurt them there? And you said they have something important to do tomorrow, so I’m sure you’ll see them tonight. Tomorrow morning at the latest.”

Lan SiZhui’s stomach churned a bit. He still hadn’t told his three guests about the wedding. “You’re coming into Cloud Recesses tomorrow, right? Before eight?” The wedding was scheduled for nine, but he wanted time to get Wen Ning into a more elegant robe for the ceremony than his usual garb.

“Of course I’ll be there since you want me there.”

“I’m hungry,” Jin Ling announced suddenly. He wasn’t really, but he needed something to do, and he had discovered over the last few days that Wen Ning’s cooking was far more palatable than what came out of the Lan kitchens.

“Let’s go then,” Wen Ning said, carefully sitting up so as to not scare off the rabbits. “You two go catch a few trouts, and I’ll grill them with some fresh herbs and roasted potatoes, and I have a new recipe for chicken and ginger that I think you’ll enjoy.”

* * *

Lan SiZhui woke before five as he had done for years. His father had been quite active in ensuring that his adopted son was held to the same standards, no more and no less, as the children born in Gusu, but theory and practice were two different things. It wasn’t that he was given different punishments than his classmates for being naughty or wrong; it was just that the level of disdain shown to him by his teachers and the Elders was greater. It was far easier to hold himself to higher standards than his peers thereby avoiding the punishments as much as possible. So he made sure he was awake and ready for the day long before his dorm mates began stirring.

Today was his fathers’ wedding day. He walked swiftly and quietly through the empty Cloud Recesses to stand outside the house where Jin Ling and Jiang WanYin were sleeping. Would they be happy to see Wei WuXian married? Or disgusted?

He continued walking towards the dining pavilion. There were some in Cloud Recesses who had made it very clear they did not support this marriage. That somehow love between men was abnormal and abhorrent. Lan SiZhui didn’t see how love could be wrong. Admittedly, the physical part made him feel a bit squeamish. He had read a few of the man-on-man pornography books in the last few weeks (purely for research purposes), and the idea of having his bum penetrated by some unknown and faceless man made his skin crawl. Maybe it was different if love was involved…. In any case, it gave him a new sense of respect for women; if they wanted children or their parents married them off unwillingly, they really didn’t have a choice but to have their body invaded….

An arm draped itself around his shoulders. “Good morning, A’Yuan.”

“Good morning, XianBaba,” Yuan replied.


	8. Chapter 08

Lan Yuan was thrilled. Not only to see this father after so many days of not knowing where he was, but to finally be able to acknowledge him as such in public. “I wish you a happy wedding day.” 

Wei WuXian hugged his son’s shoulders a little tighter. “Come have breakfast with us. I’m starving. And then I need a nap. The last time I stayed up for three days and nights I was your age.”

“You don’t have time for a nap,” Lan Yuan’s other father reminded him as they started walking to the dining pavilion. “By the time you finish eating, it will be time for you to bathe and get dressed.”

Lan Yuan struggled between wanting to respect his fathers’ privacy and curiosity. “Why were you awake for three nights?” 

Wei WuXian smiled. “Your grandmother had a gift for me. It took us a while to go get it.”

Lan Yuan abruptly bowed before his fathers. “Please forgive me. I did something I’m not sure you will like.” When his fathers only looked at him with curiosity in their eyes, he bowed his head lower and added, “I brought Jiang WanYin and Jin Ling here for your wedding. I saw that they were not on the guest list, so I invited them here for a few days. I also invited Wen Ning to enter Cloud Recesses later this morning. I haven’t told them about the wedding, yet. But they’re the only family you have, XianBaba…. I thought they should be here.” 

Wei Ying reached out to raise his son up out of his bow. “Did you think I’d be angry? If they find out today or next week, it makes no difference. I’m not planning on hiding that I’m married…. Or who I am married to. I was planning on inviting Wen Ning, so it’s good that you did it for me. As for my brother and nephew…. They’ll make a scene or not.” He looked over at Lan Zhan, who nodded. “I’ll tell them before the ceremony, so they can decide on attending or not.”

The three continued on to the dining pavilion where they were joined by Jiang Cheng and a yawning Jin Ling. As they sat to eat, Jiang Cheng skipped preliminary small talk and asked, “Where have you been the last few days?”

Wei WuXian gave him the same prepared answer he had given to his son. “Lan Zhan’s mother had a gift for me. It took us a few days to get it.”

Jiang Cheng was not as easily put off as A’Yuan. “His mother has been gone for years. She’s never met you; how would she have left a gift for you?” 

“She knew my mother when they were younger.” Wei WuXian smoothly lied. “This was a gift she prepared for me after she had heard of my birth. But for various reasons, she was unable to send it to me. Lan QiRen found a reference to it in an old document, and so we went to go get it.” Lan Zhan placed a hand on Wei Ying’s sleeve. “Ah, yes. Lan Rules: no talking while eating.” The hand moved back to its lap. This was one day, one time, that Wei Ying was glad for the no talking rule. He and his brother and nephew had not exactly parted on amicable terms. They no longer wanted to kill him, hopefully, but they also didn’t seem to be welcoming him with open arms, either. 

Lan WangJi excused himself after eating citing matters he had to attend to with Lan XiChen. Wei WuXian nodded, “I’ll see you at nine, then.” After Lan WangJi bowed and left, Lan SiZhui also bowed and made his excuses to leave. Left alone with his relatives, Wei WuXian rubbed at his nose, muttered ‘traitors’ under his breath, and motioned for his brother to go with him. “Let’s go to the Jingshi to talk. I have to bathe; we’ve been away from civilization for three days and I’m sure I stink.” They entered the Jingshi to see Wei WuXian’s wedding clothes hanging in front of the privacy screen, waiting for him to wear them later.

“Uncle Wei,” Jin Ling asked, “Why are there wedding clothes in your home?”

Wei WuXian gave his nephew a sharp look, but declined to answer. The boy would figure it out soon enough. 

Jiang Cheng was much faster at understanding than his nephew. “The headband is not just a formality, then.” The Jingshi, which he knew from previous visits to Cloud Recesses was Lan WangJi’s home, now had two desks. One desk was neat and orderly while the other was surrounded by piles of scrolls and books. There were two clothing chests. Bichen and Suibian stood in their holders, right next to each other. But it still had only a single bed. 

“No.”

“You’re marrying into the Lan. For safety? I can protect you, you know, just as well as Lan WangJi can. You can come home to Lotus Pier with me. Today. Now.” Jiang Cheng struggled to understand the obvious. His brother was a cutsleeve? And marrying HanGuang-jun? HanGuang-Jun was a cutsleeve? Or was this just something they were doing to protect Wei WuXian? No core, no clan, cultivating resentful energy, and more: the list of why Wei WuXian would need the protection marriage into the Lan offered was quite lengthy.

But. And it was an awfully big ‘but’.

Marrying a man. It boggled the mind. The young Wei WuXian had flirted outrageously with almost every girl he encountered. As teenagers, the brothers even shared pornography books with each other! And had semi-serious discussions about the ideal breast size (not that they had even seen a girl’s breasts, never mind touched them). And whether long legs or a slim waist were more appealing. And now his brother was marrying a man. 

Admittedly, that man only ever seemed to look at Wei WuXian, but Jiang Cheng had always thought that was because everyone looked at Wei WuXian…. Since he had first arrived at Lotus Pier all those years ago, whether it was in admiration or astonishment (both good and bad) or hatred, everyone _always_ looked at Wei WuXian. Why should Lan WangJi be any different?

Wei WuXian smiled. “I appreciate the offer, Shidi, but no. I don’t need your protection anymore….” He removed his headband and smoothed a finger over the embossed mountains in the middle. “This marriage is something I very much want.” He walked behind the privacy screen and began to remove his clothes. “Besides, Lotus Pier hasn’t been ‘home’ for a very long time. Not since that night….”

On the other side of the screen, Jiang Cheng shuffled his feet. “I was young and stupid, Wei WuXian. It was easier to blame you for everything that happened than to accept that… that even without you antagonizing Wen Chao back in that cave, my parents would still have died. And most likely Shijie and I along with them. Had you left him alone, maybe it would have been delayed a week or a month but not indefinitely. I’m sorry.” He bowed low, even though his brother could not see it. 

“It’s OK. You were young and stupid; I was young and arrogant. We’re both a little bit older and wiser now…. As long as you’re not trying to kill me anymore, I’m happy.” He sank into the bath water with a sigh of happiness. 

“I often complained over the years why my mother didn’t just give Wang LingJiao your hand. Or your head. I wanted to believe everything would have been fine, that the Wen would have left us alone if my mother had just gone along with it instead of fighting. I kept thinking that so many bad things would not have happened if you had died that night. I hated you for so long for no good reason…. Why is it so much easier to believe in the bad things someone is said to have done than the good you’ve actually seen for yourself?”

 _Finally figured it out, then?_ Wei WuXian started fiercely scrubbing his scalp and hair. He’d spent most of the last few days lying in the dirt and grass outside his future in-laws’ tomb, and, by the way his skin itched, he was sure more than a few bugs had made homes on him or meals of him. 

Jin Ling listened attentively. He had grown up on the stories about how his demonic uncle slowly and meticulously destroyed his family. The one about Madame Yu whipping Wei WuXian with ZiDian while the evil Wang LingJiao watched followed by the Wens invading Lotus Pier was well known. But he, too, had not understood why Wei WuXian’s hand was spared…. After all, from the stories, it was quite clear that Madame Yu intensely disliked, if not outright hated, her adopted son. Why not give the Wen his hand to save the Jiang Sect? “Uncle Jiang, why did Grandmother spare Uncle Wei?”

“Think about it, Nephew,” Wei WuXian ordered. “You must have learned some history of the Wen Sect oppression and tactics. Start there and make a conjecture as to why Madame didn’t kill me.”

Jin Ling thought carefully. “Months before Lotus Pier was attacked, the QishanWen Sect had already dominated several smaller sects, either killing them outright or bringing them under Wen control. Of the four major sects, the first to be attacked was the GusuLan Sect. Then YunMengJiang Sect. Then the QingheNie. What remained of those three sects allied with the LanLingJin and other smaller sects and clans to attack the QishanWen during what was known as the SunShot Campaign, finally defeating them at the Nightless City. It was at this battle that Uncle Wei revealed the Stygian Tiger Amulet, and showed his demonic control with it over the Yin iron puppets and the dead.”

“A very succinct summary. So why didn’t she kill me?”

Jin Ling thought harder; he did not want to fail this question. This wasn’t something that he had ever considered before…. All the stories stated that the Wen only attacked Lotus Pier because Wei WuXian humiliated Wen Chao and Wang LingJiao…. But according to his own recitation, the Wen had already begun decimating Sects before that incident…. So was the humiliation only a pretense? “Did grandmother think that no matter what she did with Uncle Wei, the Wen were going to go after them?” His uncles stayed silent. “Uncle Wei was listed as fourth in your generation of cultivators, and he was well known for being clever and a gifted swordsman. Grandmother must have thought that he would give everything he had to keep Mother and Uncle Jiang safe and alive…. With one hand missing, he would be unable to do that. So she set aside her personal grievances to give her children the best hope of surviving the Wen.”

“It took him five minutes to figure that out,” Jiang Cheng grumbled. “I took seventeen years…”

“Sometimes it’s the journey that’s important, and sometimes it’s just the destination….” Wei WuXian reminded him.

“Is your marriage a journey or a destination?” Jiang Cheng snapped back.

“Today marks the end of one journey that began when we were fifteen. I didn’t even really suspect I was on it until the night we killed Wen Chao and Wen ZhuLiu. And in a few hours he and I will start a new journey together.”

“You met your wife before you died?” Jin Ling racked his brain trying to think of the names of Lan women who had fought in the SunShot campaign. The Lan women were, by reputation, just as serious and knowledgeable and deadly as the men, but they stayed out of the spotlight even more so than the men did. Uncle Wei was too wild to have loved a quiet, stay at home type of woman, so she must have been in the battle at the end of the SunShot Campaign…. He had been forced to read multiple accounts of the battle at Nightless City: some written immediately after the events where his uncle was still lauded as a hero, and some written years later where Uncle Wei was vilified as a demon. He couldn’t remember a single Lan being mentioned other than ZeWu-Jun and HanGuang-Jun…. 

Wei WuXian paused scrubbing his body. He would rather answer this question, and deal with any possible anger issues, while at least partially dressed, not naked in a tub. “Yes,” he answered cautiously. “We met that year when your parents, your uncle, and I came here to study.” He stood up, rinsed off, and wrapped himself in a cotton robe. Toweling his hair dry, he came around the privacy screen and looked at his brother. 

“I thought the Lan women were taught away from the men….” Jin Ling added.

“They are,” Wei WuXian answered his nephew, still looking at his brother, waiting for something, he didn’t know what. 

Jiang Cheng made a point of looking at the bed and then back at Wei WuXian, letting his brother know he knew who this ‘wife’ was. “Shijie liked him very much. She would approve of this marriage. Father and Mother also spoke highly of him. I’m not sure they would approve of _you_ being the one to marry him, but they would approve of the Sect alliance.”

“Do you?” Wei WuXian asked hesitantly.

“I don’t understand it… When did you start to like… him? I always thought you liked… someone else.” It was hard getting the words out without letting his nephew know just yet that his new ‘aunt’ was really another ‘uncle’. “But if this is what you both want, then…. I support your decision.”

Wei Ying breathed a sigh of relief. Jiang Cheng had made less of a fuss than Lan QiRen. “I’ve always liked him,” he admitted. “From the first time I saw him until I shut my eyes to him for what I thought was the last time. And even more since my resurrection. And miraculously, he has loved me all this time, too. I was just too ignorant to know what I felt….”

“‘Shut my eyes to her,’” Jin Ling quoted. “Does that mean she was there when you died? But it was just Uncle Jiang and HanGuang-Jun with you when you died…. All the stories agree on that part.”

“Yes,” Wei Ying agreed softly. “It was just Lan WangJi with me at the end.” He smiled sadly at his nephew as he deliberately omitted Jiang Cheng’s attempt at fratricide. “He wanted to pull me back up. As if there was a way to save me at that point.”

Jin Ling blinked uncomprehendingly at his uncles, trying to process this information. Uncle Wei was marrying the last person he saw before he died, and the only people on that cliff were Uncle Jiang and Lan WangJi…. Then where was his aunt to be? 

Who exactly was Uncle Wei marrying? 

“You… you aren’t marrying Lan WangJi? Are you?” Jin Ling, even though he was just fourteen, wasn’t completely innocent of the ways of the world. There were always rumors about this one or that being a cutsleeve going through Koi Tower. And there were plenty of people who were happy enough, and mean-spirited enough, to describe in great detail exactly what that term meant. But usually those men accused were very effeminate: delicate in both looks and actions. Neither Uncle Wei nor Lan WangJi would ever be described as delicate…. He shied away from the mental image that popped into his head of Lan WangJi on his hands and knees while Wei WuXian fucked his ass…. Or would it be the quiet one dominating his uncle instead? He shook his head. “That’s… that’s disgusting!” 

“Love is not disgusting,” Wei WuXian snapped. He had hoped for better, but this reaction wasn’t entirely unexpected. And it was far less violent than the reaction he had expected from Jiang Cheng…. 

“But you’re both men!” Jin Ling protested. “That’s… that’s just wrong!”

Unexpectedly, Jiang Cheng interrupted his nephew. “Then don’t marry a man if you don’t want to. If the thought of going to bed with another man disgusts you, don’t do it. But you don’t get to decide what other people want or try to invalidate how they feel. Your uncle has more than earned the right to be happy, and if Lan WangJi makes him happy, then that’s enough. 

“If you’re not planning on supporting them today, you can toddle on back to Koi Tower right now.” He tsked loudly. “Just think, though, how disappointed in you your friend Lan SiZhui is going to be…. He invited you here to be with him when your uncle marries his father…. Obviously he supports his father’s love for your uncle…. And just as obviously, he thought you were mature enough to support them, too.”

“I’m mature,” Jin Ling pouted. Although he was three years younger than Lan SiZhui, the older boy had never treated him like a baby. Or an annoying junior. Or even a spoiled brat most of the time…. How would he react, though, to being told that his father marrying another man was disgusting? Would he lose his friend as well as his uncle? Would he never be invited to go on night hunts with Lan SiZhui again? 

He would certainly never be invited to go on night hunts with Uncle Wei! Uncle Wei’s teachings were far more fun and interesting than any of the fuddy-duddy lecturers back at Koi Tower. He didn’t ever just tell you what you needed to know, he invited you to figure it out for yourself. And when things got dangerous, you knew that he was going to protect you even as he encouraged you to find a way to protect yourself….

Other disturbing thoughts popped into his mind. If he didn’t support his uncle and HanGuang-Jun today, then he would probably never be invited to Cloud Recesses for studies! He would be the only Sect Leader from the major sects not invited in decades! He would never get to play with the rabbits again. Or eat Wen Ning’s cooking…. Because he was quite certain Wen Ning would absolutely support his master in whatever he chose to do with his life. 

It wasn’t as if Uncle Wei marrying Lan WangJi was going to impact his own life all that much. He could refuse to call Lan WangJi 'uncle’ and insist upon calling him by his title, and no one would care. And after all, it wasn’t his butt being used…. 

He quickly bowed to Wei WuXian. “I’m sorry, Uncle. I was wrong to say your love with HanGuang-Jun was disgusting. I was being immature and selfish and rude. I will try to be more understanding in the future.” He bowed to Jiang Cheng. “Please forgive my rudeness, Uncle, and allow me to remain at Cloud Recesses for the wedding. You were right. I was immature and thinking only of myself. Lan SiZhui did think I would stand with him to support his father marrying my uncle, and I will not let my friend or my uncles down.”


	9. Chapter 09

Lan XiChen stood at the back of the Hall of Ancestors with his uncle, Lan QiRen, and surveyed the room. There was a group of about ten juniors including his adopted nephew and Jin Ling. Wen Ning stood near them, physically apart from the group, but nevertheless included in the animated conversation. They didn’t seem to expect the Ghost General to actively participate, but no one turned their backs on him, and they frequently looked over at him to make sure he was paying attention. Leaning up against a wall, Jiang WanYin stood alone, apparently lost in his thoughts. And at the front of the Hall stood two men resplendent in red and gold: his younger brother and soon to be brother in law. They had eyes only for each other.

They didn’t seem to notice or care that the Hall was not decorated for a wedding. For the last wedding held here, young women had hung red silk bunting everywhere and lit candles in red holders and had vases of all sizes filled with fresh cut flowers on every table. The Hall had been filled with people, too, congratulating the happy couple.

Today there were less than twenty guests. No candles. No bunting. No flowers. There had been no exchange of betrothal gifts. No bickering over dowries. No searching for the most auspicious wedding date. There was no elaborate feast planned for later. Other than their clothing, there was nothing to indicate these two men were about to swear their lives to each other. WangJi and Wei WuXian would say that a wedding required three people: the two getting married and a witness. The people important to them were here and he supposed that was all that mattered.

“I thought having one Wei in the family was bad enough,” Lan QiRen interrupted Lan XiChen’s thoughts. “Now there’s two of them!”

Lan XiChen was well aware of his uncle’s animosity towards Wei WuXian. Even after twenty years, he wasn’t exactly sure what prompted it; it seemed to be more than just the younger man’s tendency towards mischief, though. But what did he mean by ‘two of them’? “I’m sorry, Uncle. Is there another Wei married into the Lan? I wasn’t aware of any….”

“Not married. Adopted.” Lan XiChen followed his uncle’s gaze to the group of junior disciples.

“Do you mean my nephew?”

“Mmm.”

“SiZhui is not a Wei, Uncle.”

“Of course he is!” Lan QiRen sputtered. “WangJi only brought the boy home because he’s that man’s son. Probably a bastard son, too. It’s not the boy’s fault who his parents are, but blood will out.”

Lan XiChen stared at his uncle. “That’s what you’ve been thinking all these years?” Lan QiRen hmphed and raised his chin a bit higher in response. “I took care of SiZhui when WangJi brought him here, do you remember? WangJi was in no condition to care for a small child, especially when they both had such high fevers. They boy cried for his family for weeks. But not once did he ask for his mother or father. Grannie, QingJiejie and XianGege: that’s who he called for the most. An extremely sick three year old would definitely cry for his mother and father if they had been in the Burial Mounds. And there is no way Wei WuXian would permit his son to call him Gege instead of Baba…”

“You think his familial loyalty is that great?” Lan QiRen scoffed. “Look at what happened. He abandoned his adopted family in their time of need.”

“Uncle, you must know why Wei WuXian had to leave the YunMengJiang Sect.”

“No, I don’t. If you’re going to say it was because of that Core, Wei WuXian could have stayed on as a civilian advisor to his brother.”

“I’m sure the Core was a part of the reason, Uncle, but that’s not why Wei WuXian had to leave.” Lan XiChen rebutted quietly. As his uncle glanced over at him in inquiry, Lan XiChen sighed. He hadn’t understood it himself until years after Wei WuXian’s suicide. And it had taken a visit to Lotus Pier to open his eyes.

Jiang WanYin had been watching the young disciples at their archery practice and was helping them out a bit when Lan XiChen arrived. Older disciples who had somehow either survived the Wen massacre or were recruited before Wei WuXian left for the Burial Mounds, stood off to the side and muttered under their breaths about how that one taught differently and shot better than this one. Later on, he had overheard the older servants talking about that one doing things differently and better than this one. He had gradually come to realize that he had heard these same conversations over and over again throughout the years, even before Wei WuXian defected from the Sect. That one might be a despised evil cultivator responsible for the Wen’s destruction of Lotus Pier and the deaths of the previous Sect leader, his wife and daughter, but if you ignored all that, he was much preferred over this one.

“Jiang FengMian had two sons, one by blood, one by adoption but rumored to be a bastard son.” Lan XiChen explained. “The elder son is brilliant and charismatic, prone to laughter and mischief when times are calm and level headed when times are perilous. The younger is brash, blunt, more of a follower, quick to anger, slow to calm down, and, overall, is not as inspiring a leader. The only way for Jiang WanYin to retain control of the YunMengJiang Sect while Wei WuXian lived there would be for Wei WuXian to unreservedly support his Shidi. Regardless if the decision was a good one or bad, Wei WuXian would have to always stand behind Jiang WanYin. What good is an advisor who always agrees with you?

“But anything that showed a comparison between the two men would ultimately show Wei WuXian in a much better light than Jiang WanYin. And eventually there would be a fight within the Sect over who would be the better leader. If the bastard elder son can do the job better than the legitimate younger son, why quibble over the birth status….

“No, Uncle. Wei WuXian leaving the Jiang family was the ultimate in familial loyalty. For Jiang WanYin to be a successful Sect leader, Wei WuXian always had to leave.”

Lan QiRen hmphed in derision, but dared not refute the logic. After the revelations from the Guanyin Temple, he was forced to look at Wei WuXian’s actions in a new light. And was reluctantly forced to admit, if only in the deep recesses of his mind, that the vast majority of Wei WuXian’s inappropriate actions were the result of attempting to protect some innocent people from the machinations of some very evil people. He did not enjoy the feeling of having been duped by Jin GuangYao, nor did he enjoy the feeling of having mis-read Wei WuXian’s actions all along. Most especially, he did not enjoy having his nephew throw his blindness back at him in an attempt to make him lose face!

At the front of the room, the two men knelt and prostrated themselves: once to the heavens, then again to the ancestors, and a third time to each other. Lan XiChen smiled warmly at this. The smile fell away as he realized the second part of the ceremony was not going smoothly….

Jiang Cheng stood up from where he was leaning and walked over to Lan XiChen. “What’s going on now?” he whispered.

Listening to the ‘you put it on me first’ and ‘no, I’m not the wife’ coming from the front of the room, Lan XiChen sighed. “The wife is supposed to put the ribbon on the husband first,” he explained. “I’m guessing that both of them thought the other was the ‘wife’.”

“Well, of course it’s obvious who’s the wife,” Jiang Cheng scoffed. “Wei WuXian, just put the ribbon on him!” he yelled out.

“You think WuXian is the ‘wife’?” Lan XiChen was astounded at this.

“Of course,” came the reply from multiple people.

“Senior Wei is impulsive,” offered one of the juniors.

“Devious,” called out another.

“He mothers everybody!” cried a third.

At the front of the room, the two men had stopped to listen to their guests argue.

Jiang Cheng was not as kind as the juniors. “He does whatever the Hell he wants and damns the consequences.”

Lan XiChen choked back a laugh. “WangJi does all the cleaning in the house. He’s learning to cook. He raised the child.”

Lan SiZhui spoke up. “Father also does XianBaba’s hair every morning.”

Lan QiRen put the final nail in the coffin. “When has WangJi ever said no to that rascal?”

Lan WangJi solemnly tied the black ribbon around Wei WuXian’s head. “Uncle is right: I cannot say no to you.”

* * *

Lan SiZhui loitered at the door, waiting for the last person, Jin Ling, to leave the Hall. “What’s with the headbands?” the younger one asked.

“They represent restraint,” Lan SiZhui told him as they started wandering aimlessly. There were no classes to attend, and while Wen Ning had offered to cook a wedding dinner, that would not be ready for several hours. “We Lan are supposed to use them as reminders to be mindful at all times. The only people who are allowed to touch your headband are your parents, when you’re little, and your spouse. And I guess your children, since babies want to put everything in their mouths.” Jin Ling’s hand raised up towards a dangling end. “Don’t touch my ribbon!” Lan SiZhui warned. “I’ll hit you.” Jin LIng’s hand dropped down. “I’m serious. Letting someone touch it is like saying ‘we’re engaged’.”

“It’s that serious?” Jin Ling questioned.

“Yes, it’s that serious.”

“But I’ve heard stories about HanGuang-Jun and Uncle Wei where they were tied together using HanGuang-Jun’s ribbon….”

“And now they’re married, aren’t they?” Lan SiZhui was able to keep most of the sarcasm out of his voice, but some was unavoidable.

They walked on in silence for a while. “Are you really a Lan?” Jin Ling finally broke the silence.

“Of course.”

“I mean… I heard you were adopted. But no one says anything about who your birth parents were….”

“Oh. I don’t even know who they were.” Lan SiZhui spoke offhandedly, and immediately felt guilty for the lie. He had no memories of them, but Wen Ning had told him a few stories during their travels together. His father was a carpenter and skilled enough in his craft for villagers’ needs. He was drafted into the Wen army and killed, most likely in his first battle. His mother, Wen Ning’s cousin, was an herbalist and occasional midwife. Gentle, kind. She had given Yuan to her mother to protect when the Jin attacked their village, hoping that the soldiers would capture but not kill the elder and baby. Unfortunately, both women were killed in the raid; it was another elderly woman who picked up Yuan and was captured. That woman died not long after that, and then Grannie volunteered to care for the baby.

“Father adopted me when I was three.” Lan SiZhui had to think quickly. How to tell Jin Ling enough of the truth without revealing that he was a Wen? “I have very few memories of who I was before I was taken here. I think my family were farmers. I have one memory of my Jiejie and Gege arguing about turnips and radishes and potatoes or something like that. But I don’t remember calling anyone mom or dad. I don’t even know if Jiejie and Gege were biologically my older siblings…. They were maybe eighteen or twenty years older than me…. Father knew Gege, though…. I remember meeting him in a marketplace one day. Father bought me a play sword and a bamboo butterfly. I played with them while the two of them talked.”

“So you have no idea who your people are…. That’s depressing.”

“It’s not really,” Lan SiZhui insisted. “I have Father and my uncle and great uncle. And now I have XianBaba.” He looked over at his friend and smiled. “And a new cousin and uncle. And Wen Ning is just like family.

“In fact.... Since we’re cousins, you can call me ZhuiGege. And I will call you A’Ling.” Jin Ling nodded happily. No one his age had ever been close enough to ask to call him A’Ling before. Come to think of it, even his uncles seldom addressed him that way….

The boys walked aimlessly for a while. With nowhere they needed to go, there was no particular path they had to take. Eventually, though, the path they were on intersected a largish stream.

Jin Ling frowned; it wasn’t a particularly pretty stream. There were no helpful boulders or a convenient log to walk across on. It didn’t make charming gurgling sounds as it wound its way around. It wasn’t overly deep, but it was deep enough that his boots would fill with water if he tried to wade across. It also wasn’t overly wide, but it was wide enough that he would have to use spiritual energy to jump across. He couldn’t even see any fish swimming in it! What a waste of a stream! He plopped down onto the ground and tried to remove the pout from his face. Lan SiZhui sat down across the path from him and leaned up against a tree. Jin Ling’s pout came back in force as he noticed ZhuiGe’s skirts had settled gracefully and perfectly around him while his own were a tangled mess around his legs.

ZhuiGe was really the perfect person, Jin Ling fumed. Whether it was his looks, temperament, selflessness, spiritual ability, friendliness…. He was everything one could want in a son or friend. Jin Ling squirmed thinking of his own selfishness that morning…. “Gege… I said something bad to Uncle Wei,” he finally admitted.

“No worries,” Lan SiZhui smiled. “He’s already forgotten it.”

“He can’t have forgotten it!” Jin Ling argued. “I just said it this morning!”

“Ahh…” Lan SiZhui seemed a bit sad. “He will forget it by tomorrow…. XianBaba has a horrible memory for such things.”

“How can he forget that I called him disgusting?” Jin Ling muttered.

“You aren’t the first, and you won’t be the last.” Lan SiZhui sighed, picked a leaf off the tree, and started ripping it to pieces. “Lotus Pier was destroyed three years before he committed suicide. If he remembered every time someone accused him of murdering your grandparents during those three years, I think he would be a very different person than he is now. Since he returned, he has heard so many people talking in the streets about what a monster the Yiling Patriarch is. How many times did he protect us and help us, yet even we unknowingly insulted him to his face? Jiang WanYin even tried to murder him, and yet he doesn’t blame him….

“It’s better for Baba to have a poor memory. You can apologize if it will make you feel better, but Baba won’t treat you any differently just because you said something mean.”

“I did apologize. But I said it more because I don’t want to lose out on things rather than actually being sorry for saying it or thinking it. I apologized out of selfishness.”

“I wouldn't choose to fall in love with a man, either, A’Ling…. It’s OK to not like what other people like. To not want what other people want. I would ask that you try to not put other people down for not liking and wanting the same things as you, though.” Jin Ling could feel a blush overtaking his face at this gentle rebuke. “Do you know? Father taught me the Qin language when he taught me how to play the zither. Almost every night for six years I fell asleep listening to him playing Inquiry for Baba. Asking ‘Wei Ying, where are you?’ ‘Please answer me.’ ‘Please come back to me.’

“Who chooses to love that much? Who chooses to be in pain like that? It would have been so much easier to choose to fall in love with a woman and have lots of fat, happy babies with her.

“And the worst part is? I think Baba was alive all those years….”

Jin Ling sat up from his slouch. “What?”

“Father is very good at Inquiry. The only time the Qin language is unreliable is during the seven days after the person dies. There are only three reasons why Father would not have been able to contact him at some point during these thirteen years. We know Baba’s soul was not destroyed, so that leaves only two other possibilities. If Baba was dead and not yet reborn, Father would have found him. Since we know Baba was not reborn, that leaves only one answer. But, here’s the thing. Right after Baba committed suicide, the cultivators all flew down the cliff to make sure he was dead. All they found was a pool of blood and Chenqing. No body.”

“So someone got there first and stole Uncle Wei’s body?”

“Exactly. Since Father couldn’t contact Baba, it must mean that he was alive all those years. That spell, however, that Mo XuanYu used has to have a dead person to exchange. So….”

“Why didn’t he just reveal Uncle Wei? Why did he kill him?”

“Maybe XianBaba’s body was not dead enough that he couldn’t be kept alive but too far gone to revive?”

“So whoever had Uncle Wei’s body killed him no more than seven days before he showed up in Mo Manor.”

“Yes.”

“So who stole the body?”

“I haven’t figured that out yet. After YunPing, I thought at first it was Jin GuangYao. But he would have no reason to keep Baba alive. He had the Ghost General under control and he had the imitation Stygian Tiger Amulet; all he had to do was dress someone who was reasonably scary looking in black and red and give him a flute to hold if he wanted to bring back the Yiling Patriarch…. It’s not like he could blackmail Jiang WanYin by saying he would kill Wei WuXian if he didn’t get his way. I half think your uncle would have helped to kill him…. And I don’t think he knew Father loved XianBaba, so keeping him alive to blackmail Father doesn’t make sense, either.”

“So who was it?”

“I don’t know!” Lan SiZhui picked up a rock from the ground and hurled it angrily into the stream. “The only people I can think of who might have wanted to keep Wei WuXian alive are the Wen.”

“They’re all dead.”

“A few defected from Wen Ruohan’s control at the beginning of the SunShot campaign. XianBaba claimed that the allies were hunting and killing Wen villagers and farmers for sport…. If one of the defectors saw Jin GuangShao and Jin GuangYou turning a blind eye to that, and then saw Wei WuXian trying to protect his little group….”

“He might try to make sure that Uncle Wei had a proper burial after he died. And when he saw that Uncle was alive, he kept him hidden all these years?”

“And when he found enough evidence to bring down Jin GuangYao, he killed Baba, and somehow managed to convince Mo XuanYu to die and bring back the Yiling Patriarch.”

“But how does Baxia fit into this?”

“I don’t know. Maybe the two events are coincidental. Or maybe he found out that Jin GuangYao killed Nie MingJue and allied with someone in the Nie….”

Jin Ling laughed. “Ally with who? Nie HuaiSang? That head shaker?”

“Maybe?” Lan SiZhui threw another rock into the stream. “Or maybe this is all just a nonsense conspiracy theory with no basis in reality.”

“What do your fathers think of this theory?”

“I haven’t told them.”

“Why not?”

“What if I’m partially right? But what if it wasn’t a Wen who took the body?”

“But you still don’t think it was Jin GuangYao?”

“What if no one stole Baba’s body?” Lan SiZhui stayed silent for a long while. “What if it was Wei WuXian who hid himself for thirteen years? He didn’t have Suibian, and Chenqing was left at the bottom of the cliff. As long as he didn’t return to the Burial Mounds and dressed in something other than black and red…. As long as he didn’t practice demonic Cultivation he could have easily pretended to be someone else.” After another long silence, he finally asked. “What if he’s the mastermind behind exposing Jin GuangYao?”

Jin Ling thought about the repercussions of that theory. “Shit,” he finally answered.

“Exactly.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Thank you all for reading! I smile for hours seeing that people are reading my little fiction. And you have no idea how happy I get when I see someone has given kudos on this work or gave a comment. You are my rays of sunshine. Thank you.


	10. Chapter 10

It was about an hour before the banquet was scheduled to begin that Jiang Cheng knocked at the door to Lan WangJi and Wei WuXian’s room. Lan Sizhui bade him enter, so Jiang Cheng strode in with his usual swagger only to stop and gape at the domestic scene in front of him: Wei WuXian sitting on the floor clad only in white trousers and shirt with Lan WangJi, equally as undressed, kneeling behind him combing his hair. Jiang Cheng blinked a few times at his brother and then turned to Lan SiZhui who was calmly playing his guqin. “I thought you were joking,” he protested.

“Why would I joke about something like this?” Lan SiZhui asked innocently. He, of course, was dressed appropriately for visitors, wearing a formal robe more representative of his role as Sect Leader’s nephew and second heir than junior disciple, and his hair held up by a more intricate piece than what he normally wore.

Wei WuXian laughed. “Lan Zhan insists I wear my hair properly, so I insist he do it for me.” He looked over his shoulder to see his spouse’s ears turning pink. He pursed his lips, but refrained from blowing a kiss since his brother and son were there. Turning around to face his brother again, he asked, “How can I help you?”

Jiang Cheng frowned at the floor for a moment, remembering the reason for this visit. “Sect leaders and Clan leaders are all asking me how much I’m going to make you grovel before I allow you to re-enter the YunMengJiang Sect.”

“I’m not going to grovel, and I’m not rejoining the Sect,” Wei WuXian spoke softly but purposefully.

“I know that,” Jiang Cheng agreed. “I’m assuming that the other Sect leaders are not going to simply permit you to…. You know how they are. They are going to want the spectacle. And I know you, Wei Ying… you’ll give them the spectacle they need if not the one they want. And I’d prefer it not be humiliating to me!”

“Jiang Cheng!” Wei WuXian laughed harder. “I’m going to greet you as my Shidi whom I haven’t seen for a few days. That’s all. If there is any spectacle, it’s going to be made by someone else. I promise you.” Everyone stared at Wei WuXian in disbelief; there was no way he was not going to be central to every spectacle that happened at the banquet!

Jiang Cheng noticed three swords in a stand. “You’re carrying Suibian again?”

“Of course,” Wei WuXian answered glibly. “It is, after all, required for a cultivator to carry a sword, isn’t it?” For some reason, he didn’t want to tell his brother that he had a new core. Maybe it was too new. Or maybe he just didn’t want the whole ‘lost core, gave up core, got new core’ mess to be widely known. Jiang Cheng was not known as one able to keep other people’s secrets for long. And Wei WuXian hadn’t yet quite come up with a plausible lie as to why Suibian unsealed itself for Jiang Cheng….

“But you can’t use it! Aren’t you afraid of being asked to duel?”

“Jiang Cheng, I’m not a child anymore. Just because someone asks me to fight doesn't mean I have to oblige them. I’ll just use Chenqing if I can’t escape it.”

“Wei Ying! Stop moving,” Lan Zhan ordered. Pouting, Wei Ying sat quietly allowing his husband to twist and pull his hair into some intricate knot and hold it in place by an overly elaborate hair piece that had been the subject of many arguments. For someone who publicly claimed to be unable to say ‘no’ to Wei WuXian, Lan WangJi got his way far too often….

* * *

Wei WuXian slipped into the banquet hall hiding among a group of cultivators who were strong enough to have been invited to the banquet but not powerful enough to be included in the list of named guests. The back half of the hall was filled with tables set close to each other and set with four place settings. The next third of the hall had fewer tables and only two place settings on each. Most likely they were for the smaller sects and clans who were powerful enough to be introduced by the majordomo. The last section of the hall was reserved for the four major Sects. And alone at the front of the hall in the middle was a single table reserved for His Excellency, HanGuang-Jun.

A few of the cultivators he was hiding amongst wore the black and red of a Wei disciple and were heatedly arguing about which of them were the real disciples and which were fakes. Each claimed that they were personally tutored by Master Wei himself, which set Wei WuXian to laughing; he had never before even seen any of them.

One young man, old enough to have lost the gangliness of being a young teenager but not old enough to have developed the patina of maturity, became even more cross. “Why are you laughing at us? Do you doubt that I am Master Wei’s disciple?”

Wei WuXian stopped laughing long enough to say, “I am quite assured that none of you have met the Yiling Patriarch. He’s in this room right now, and I’ll bet my sword that none of you can point him out right now.”

“And you can,” another scoffed.

“Well, yes,” Wei WuXian admitted. “I fought in the SunShot campaign and was there at the Nightless City when he used the Stygian Tiger Amulet to destroy Wen Ruohan’s corpse puppets. I was also there the night he tried to fly off a thousand foot cliff without a sword and failed spectacularly.” The youths in front of him were all twisting around trying to identify the great Yiling Patriarch. Of course, since they were most likely looking for an older man with a fierce, ugly face dressed in black and red, carrying Chenqing but no sword, they were unable to find him….

Wei WuXian’s outfit was unlike any he had ever worn or seen before. The black outer robe did not criss-cross diagonally across his chest nor was it round collared and slipped over the head. Instead the lapels were wide enough to cover his entire chest; A’Yuan said the seamstresses called them plackets. The right placket had little loops at the top and bottom which went around silver medallions at his left hip and shoulder. The left placket lay completely flat on top of the right, and again was held in place by those loops and medallions. But A’Yuan told him to leave the top right loop unhooked, and instead folded the placket down into a triangle, completely hiding the phoenix embroidered on it. “This will give the Sect leaders the spectacle they want, XianBaba.” Wei WuXian had no idea how he was going to make that happen just yet, but he was confident enough that, even without him trying to be uncivilized, something would happen to cause a scene.

The youths were still trying to find their supposed Master when the first Sect and Clan leaders were introduced in increasing order of power and importance. Wei WuXian edged away from his little band of ‘disciples’ as Jiang WanYin and his disciples were announced. It was almost time for the Shixiong and Shidi to publicly greet each other. He hadn’t moved very far when a fussy official came running up to him. “There you are, Master Wei! I’ve been looking all over for you!” he cried out, attracting the attention of the rubbernecking Wei disciples. Wei WuXian shrugged helplessly at their astonished faces as he was dragged over to the Master of Ceremonies. “You really should have been announced before the Nie, but that can’t be helped now. At least you’re ahead of His Excellency…. What a nightmare if you were announced after him!”

“I wasn’t planning on being announced at all,” Wei WuXian muttered. But then he was standing in front of his husband, and couldn’t think anymore. To say the man looked stunning would be an understatement.

Lan WangJi, for the first time in his life, was wearing black. His entire outfit from the inside out and head to toe was a reverse image of Wei WuXian’s. Black trousers and underrobe. White outerrobe and headband. Even his plackets were mirrored; his left placket was on top and folded down into the triangle.

Lan WangJi touched his arm lightly. “You need to go now,” he murmured. Wei WuXian shook his head to wake up out of his daze, and realized that the whole room was watching him ogle his husband. Jiang Cheng was getting his spectacle already and the banquet had barely started…. Wei WuXian followed his husband’s instructions and started walking down the center aisle of the Hall, only realizing a couple of meters in that he had no idea of where he was supposed to sit. Winging it, as he usually did in these types of occasions, was either going to result in a huge public gaffe or, hopefully but far less likely, a quiet explanation from his brother or brother-in-law about where he was supposed to go. Then another realization hit him as he got closer to the far end of the Hall where Jiang Cheng was: he hadn’t talked with Jiang Cheng about how they were going to greet each other. Usually the lower status person would start the salute first. Jiang Cheng was the younger brother, but he was also a Sect leader while Wei WuXian was merely a former disciple. But since the Yiling Patriarch was introduced after Jiang Cheng, it put Wei WuXian at a higher level.

This was a nightmare. His first banquet appearance as himself in fifteen or sixteen years and the first as HanGuang-Jun’s spouse, and he was going to make a mess out of it.

Lan XiChen, Jiang Cheng, Nie HuaiSang and Jin Ling were all talking together as Wei WuXian approached their section. Lan XiChen moved first to include Wei WuXian in their conversation by saluting casually and offering a quiet “Good evening, brother-in-law.” The others all followed his lead. Wei WuXian gratefully saluted back; one minor crisis averted.

Nie HuaiSang was not as quiet as Lan XiChen. “You’re carrying Suibian!” he cried out. “But I thought you gave up your core to Jiang Cheng!” He quickly fanned his face, as if he was overheating from the excitement. Jin Ling caught his expression, though, before his face was covered by the fan. Nie HuaiSang was definitely trying to provoke Wei WuXian. Chills ran down Jin Ling’s back at that expression; he still wasn’t sure if ZhuiGe’s Wen cultivator theory was in any way reality, but in that moment he had no doubt that if that cultivator had collaborated with the Nie, he was working directly with Nie HuaiSang! The head-shaker was far more clever or devious than anyone thought.

Wei WuXian looked down at the sword in his hand. “I don’t know why you would say such a thing, old friend. And so loudly, too. This is how rumors start, and you should know by now, that most of the rumors about me are false.” Jiang Cheng’s eyes bugged out of his head; what was his brother claiming now?

“I assure you, Master Nie,” a stern voice behind Wei WuXian spoke. “Wei WuXian has a core.”

Nie HuaiSang giggled nervously. “Of course, of course. We all know that HanGuang-Jun does not lie…. So that must be true…. But we all know that Suibian sealed itself fourteen years ago, and only a few months ago, we all saw that Jiang WanYin and Wei WuXian were the only ones able to unseal it…. I’m sure there is an alternate explanation as to how that happened… other than Master Jiang having Master Wei’s core.”

Other Sect leaders converged on the sextuplet. Sect leader Yao, as blunderous as ever, interrupted the conversation. “Yes, Sect leader Nie is right! We saw Jiang WanYin unseal that sword! If the core wasn’t transferred, explain how that happened!”

Wei WuXian’s mind was spinning furiously; he still hadn’t come up with a plausible lie. Damn that Nie HuaiSang!

Lan XiChen saluted Master Yao. “Suibian is indeed a spectacular sword. It after all, had sealed itself when the Wen took it at the beginning of their Indoctrination class. The other students’ swords were unable to do that….” As the sect leaders nodded in agreement, they were aware of that development, Lan XiChen smiled and lied through his teeth. “Before Wei WuXian returned to us, there were several nights that I passed by Jiang YanLi’s tent and observed her crying as she polished Suibian. She, too, was able to unseal Suibian! Are you going to tell me that Wei WuXian’s core was so strong that he was able to divide it in half? One for each sibling?” Wei WuXian managed to keep the shock from his face,but just barely. Such an elaborate lie from someone so honest! And with Jiang YanLi conveniently dead, there was no way to prove his assertion false. Or verify it was true, but it did allow for the possibility that Suibian was far more sentient than other swords of its age and caliber.

Nie HuaiSang closed his fan with a snap. “There’s an easy way for Master Wei to demonstrate he still has his core. An exhibition duel to start the banquet entertainment! After all, we haven’t seen Master Wei’s skills since the last battle at the Nightless City.” He smiled slyly at Wei WuXian. “I remember you used to brag about your skills back when we were young. I’m sure Master Wei has only improved since then.”

Lan XiChen laughed softly, “His abilities as a teenager were indeed worth bragging about. Unfortunately, Wei WuXian neglected his swordplay for the flute for far too long. A child could beat him now.”

Amid the growing cries for an exhibit match, Jiang Cheng’s face was the sole detractor. Wei WuXian smiled confidently, if a bit wryly, at his brother. “At least make my opponent worthy of an exhibit duel, Master Nie! Or do I need to fight with one hand tied behind my back?” Behind him, he heard a barely audible growl, and felt a yank on his sash. “Someone likes the idea of me being tied up,” he whispered over his shoulder as his left hand was gently brought behind and firmly tied at his waist with the sash.

“Later,” Lan WangJi promised, voice husky with repressed desire.

Wei WuXian’s eyes widened at the implications of ‘later’. “You mean you want to tie me up while we…”

Lan WangJi sighed as he tested the sash’s hold. “How can you still be so innocent?” He gave a slight push, “Don’t humiliate him too much.”

The crowd of cultivators moved back towards the tables leaving the center of the room to a thoroughly intrigued Wei WuXian and his opponent. Wei WuXian didn’t recognize the man, but the other recognized him, taunting him with reminders of who did the fighting in the battle against the corpse puppets in the Burial Mounds a few months ago. Wei WuXian thought that was a pointless insult as none of the older cultivators invading the Burial Mounds, including this man, were able to fight! Wei WuXian, at least, had fought with his flute and used his body as bait instead of huddling, scared and defenseless, inside the protective circle inside the cave.

The two opponents slowly circled each other looking for a weakness and developing a plan of attack. Wei WuXian felt slightly off balance and missed having Suibian’s sheath as an additional weapon. He also felt keenly the years-long lack of practice. A month of using Suibian as if it were a regular sword was not the same thing as fighting completely linked with his spiritual sword.

Lan WangJi, his brother and the other major Sect leaders were joined by Lan SiZhui. The two young boys were wowed by the performance going on. “It’s like he’s dancing!” gushed Jin Ling.

Jiang Cheng scoffed. “Dancing? With that footwork? He’s a mess out there!”

Lan SiZhui tried to offer a reason. “Well, of course, he’s going to be a bit off balanced because of having that hand tied back….”

“A true cultivator is not inconvenienced by having one arm like that.” Lan XiChen pointed out another mistake to his nephew, “Watch his sword arm. It’s varying between too tense and too loose. He has almost no proper physical control over the blade. He’s relying more on the spiritual link between his mind and Suibian.”

“But he’s winning!” Jin Ling cried out. “Doesn’t that matter?”

“No!” the four elders were in agreement.

“If our old swordmaster was here to see this,” Jiang Cheng spat, “he’d have Wei WuXian over his knee so fast….”

Nie HuaiSang flicked open his fan and fluttered it leisurely. “If I’d known he was this bad after so many years, I would have suggested an alternate way to prove he still has his core.” He smiled gently over at the boys. “Too bad you didn’t see him when he was a teenager…. He was a joy to behold. He almost beat the Lan swordmaster once, right?”

“If by ‘almost beat him’ you mean he lasted more than four minutes before getting ‘killed’, then yes,” Lan XiChen answered. He turned to Lan SiZhui, “Our previous swordmaster would consider us more than simply ‘acceptable’ if we lasted at least three minutes against him. An outstanding student and one worthy of training to be a swordmaster could last for more than five minutes. WangJi reached five minutes, but you were what, twenty-five? Twenty-six?”

“Twenty-six.”

“I was nearly thirty when I got past four and a half minutes. Wei WuXian was fifteen.”

“It was raining,” Lan WangJi interrupted. “Swordmaster slipped in the mud, and A’Xian took advantage of it. He always lasted longer than three minutes, but only went just past four in dry conditions one time.”

“He figured how to avoid getting spanked by the Jiang swordmaster,” Jiang Cheng offered. “He was never fast enough, but he figured out how to do it.” Jin Ling’s was not the only hand surreptitiously rubbing his backside in memory; almost every one of them had challenged that swordmaster and ended up being spanked by the flat of his blade. The Jiang swordmaster made sure his students felt their failures acutely and for days.

In the center of the floor, Wei WuXian was tired of playing the game. He stepped in, shoved against his opponent, and somehow the two blades went flying in the air. Wei WuXian caught Suibian with his left hand, and with his right caught the other. He then held the sword point against his opponent’s neck. “Do you yield?”

With the match over, Nie HuaiSang apologized with much bowing and obvious nervousness. The cultivators all returned to their seats; Nie HuaiSang outwardly looked his normal nervous and unsure self, but inside he was fuming.

Something had happened to his Cloud Recesses spies.

His Lotus Pier spies had sent him information about Wen Ning confessing that Jang Cheng’s core was actually Wei WuXian’s. And that was confirmed at YunPing…. So how did Wei WuXian now have a core? Did he take one from another cultivator? Perhaps an older one who wasn’t going to ascend? Or from a condemned criminal?

Maybe he had Xue Yang’s? It was possible that Xue Yang did not die in Coffin Town as was reported, and that Wen Ning went back and took the body…. If he was there when Wen Qing did the transfer, it was possible that he knew how to transfer cores, too….

But no… That timing was wrong. Wei WuXian did not have a core in YunPing…. If he had, Jin GuangYao would have forced him to seal himself from spiritual energy, too…. So the transfer was done in the last few months? But his spies reported only a few weeks ago that Wei WuXian was having trouble in his afternoon sword practice, that he looked like a complete novice rather than even a low level cultivator mind-linked to his sword…. So the core transfer must have been in the last week or so…. After the last report.

Nie HuaiSang looked over at the head table. As he watched, HanGuang-Jun reached over and unfolded the triangle on Wei WuXian’s chest. And Wei WuXian returned the gesture…. The two men turned to face the Hall and paused a moment before sitting down gracefully.

Shit! Nie HuaiSang almost dropped his fan as he stared at the phoenixes revealed by this little play action. The political implications of what Lan WangJi had just done were huge! Nie HuaiSang looked around the room to see who was aware of the chess move just played. Only a few people were watching the head table and not one of them seemed to be concerned….

But who was the mastermind behind this political coup? Wei WuXian did not have a political mind…. He was always too busy trying to use brute force to make his small world behave the way he thought it should be rather than the sly machinations required to actually make the larger world change. Jiang Cheng wouldn’t know politics if it bit him in the ass. Jin Ling was too young. Lan WangJi was too honest and aloof for the sleazy politeness required…. Nie HuaiSang looked over at Lan XiChen who sat with a huge grin on his face as he looked at his younger brother.

It was Lan XiChen?

Lan XiChen just pulled off the largest political move in decades and the rest of the cultivators in this room seemed completely unaware. From not being able to ‘find’ Wei WuXian until right before HanGuang-Jun was announced, to the sword fight proving that Wei WuXian had a core, to the reveal of the phoenix crest. All planned by this one man….

The YilingWei Sect was now officially formed, and ranked highest among the Sects.

Shit.


	11. Chapter 11

Jin Ling was bored. What was the point of being fourteen already if everyone was still going to treat him as if he was thirteen! Actually, he had had more freedom a year ago! Uncle Jiang put a guard detail on him as soon as they returned to Koi Tower after the events in YunPing. And these guards were actually good at their job….

Day eight of the Conference was ‘take a walk through the gardens’ day. As much as he appreciated not having to escort some silly girl around, there was nothing to do! And no friends to be with as they were all walking around with someone’s future bride. He had tried to make his own fun by going into Lanling and trying to escape the watchful eyes of his guard. So far he had been unsuccessful…. 

He passed by a tea house. Maybe he could give them the slip here…. As he whirled around to go inside, he tripped over a street beggar. _Dirty, nasty creature!_ She let out a small cry of pain, and crumpled up into a ball. 

“Please don’t kick me,” she begged. 

Kick her? She had probably managed to get more dirt on his boots than he had gathered in the previous hour of walking! He wanted to say something along the lines of ‘stay out of the way of your betters’. A year ago, when he was a boy of just turned thirteen he would have. A year ago he hadn’t met ZhuiGe…. If word of him talking to anyone like that got back to _him_ , he would be disappointed in him. It was odd how the smile falling from ZhuiGe’s face made him more uncomfortable than being beaten ever had…. So instead of yelling, he knelt down and asked if she was hurt. That was what ZhuiGe would do.

The human ball uncurled itself to show the face and body of a woman who was far too thin…. Her eyes were huge and ringed with purple shadows. “No, young Master,” she whispered. “I’m fine.” 

She used the same exact tone and inflection Uncle Wei did when he was pretending all was well. There was a dark purple bruise on one cheek and a yellow-ish-green one on her forehead. And from the way she was cradling one arm, someone had probably hurt her there, too. She wasn’t fine. He channeled his inner SiZhui: “Let me buy you some tea and some food as my apology for stepping on you.” She tried to protest, but he spoke over her. “It is my fault you were hurt. I didn’t look where I was going.”

“Young master, if you really need to apologize, just... please tell me… Is it true that Wei WuXian is alive?” Jin Ling scowled. She saw the face and hurriedly added, “I know him…. Or I used to know him…. We were friends. I studied with him and his brother and sister at Cloud Recesses many years ago. Even after he was named the Yiling Patriarch, I never believed he was evil….”

“You studied at Cloud Recesses,” he repeated flatly. No way did this beggar know his mother! 

“Yes. Wei WuXian and Nie HauiSang played pranks during class. Lan WangJi and Jiang Cheng glared at them. That is, when Jiang Cheng wasn’t joining in on the pracks…. Jin ZiXuan and Wei WuXian kept trying to get into fights…. And poor Lan QiRen was trying to maintain discipline…. As if forcing Wei WuXian to copy the Lan rules was going to entice him into obeying them…. I think it must have been the most disruptive year the Lans ever had.”

Everything she said was pretty much common knowledge and not proof that she had known any of them. But then she added, “There was one time when Lan WangJi and Wei WuXian went missing for a few days. No one could find them. Then suddenly there they were! They fell off a mountain! I had been walking with Jiang Cheng, and suddenly we were looking at Wei WuXian lying on top of Lan WangJi, their wrists tied together with a Lan headband. It was obvious Wei WuXian had no idea what that meant…. Poor Lan WangJi was mortified….” 

Jin Ling was quite certain most people outside of Gusu did not know the significance of allowing another person to touch a Lan headband…. He was also certain that this story was not something that was casually talked about…. He also knew that it had really happened. Which meant this filthy creature really did know Uncle Wei? He turned to one of his guards, “Go find Wei Wuxian and HanGuang-Jun. They should still be at Koi Tower. And bring back something more suitable for this lady Cultivator to wear.” 

The woman paled under the dirt and bruises. “No, not Lan WangJi,” she whispered. “Not him. Just Wei WuXian.”

Jin Ling assisted the woman to her feet. “I’m afraid that right now if you want Wei WuXian, you’ll have to take Lan WangJi as well. They’re kind of a two-for-one deal at the moment…. Please allow me to buy you some food while we wait for them.” Over the woman’s protests, he led her into the tea house and demanded the owner allow his guest to wash up a bit. Once she was out of eyesight, he turned to another guard. “Go find Jiang WanYin and bring him here.” With anything that involved Uncle Wei from before his death, it was probably a wise decision to inform his Uncle Jiang as well.

A happy voice behind him had him turning around again. “A’Ling! I thought that was you.” Lan SiZhui was smiling that all-is-right-with-the-world smile of his. 

“I thought you were walking through the flower gardens today.”

“I was. My assigned date informed me that she has no intention of marrying a man who is prettier than she is. I’m not sure if she was complimenting me or insulting me. It’s of no matter in either case; I don’t want to marry her either. Who is the woman?”

Jin Ling looked around to see if she was back. “I didn’t get a name. But she claims that she was a student at Cloud Recesses with my parents, your fathers and Uncle Jiang. I’ve sent for them just in case she’s telling the truth. She looks half starved, poor thing.” He was still looking at his friend, when he saw all the blood drain from Lan SiZhui’s face. 

“You died,” he thought he heard, and then Lan SiZhui fainted dead away at his feet. 

Well, the day was no longer boring at least. “ZhuiGege!” Jin Ling cried out. Lan SiZhui might look as pretty and delicate as a girl, but he was actually quite strong. Normally. So why did he faint like this?

The woman rushed over to kneel at Lan SiZhui’s side. She took a quick check of his pulse, and pressed open his eyelids. Then she leaned over to listen to his heartbeat. “He’s fine,” she said. “He’s just fainted. Does he do this often?”

“Never!”

“He’ll come around in a minute or two.”

“Dearest nephew! What mess have you gotten yourself into this time!” 

Jin Ling breathed a sigh of relief. “Uncle Wei! ZhuiGe...” but he couldn’t say the rest of the sentence. Both Wei WuXian and Lan WangJi’s faces were as bloodless as Lan SiZhui’s. And Uncle Wei was mouthing the same phrase as Lan SiZhui: you died.

Wei WuXian visibly gathered himself. “You take my nephew and his guards back to Koi Tower,” he ordered his husband. “I’ll take care of this here.”

Lan WangJi nodded. “It’s good to see you again, Madam Cultivator. We are very glad to see that reports of your demise were exaggerated.” He then grabbed Jin Ling’s arm pulling him out of the tea house, and motioned for the guards to proceed ahead of them. 

“Who is she?”Jin Ling asked, unsuccessfully trying to yank his arm out of his new uncle’s grip. It was not very dignified being a fourteen year old Sect Leader and being pulled through the streets like an errant five year old.

“She’s someone who was supposed to have died almost fourteen years ago. Someone who was once very important to both of your uncles. And to your undead friend. It appears Jin GuangYao left more secrets behind him….”

“But the only woman who fits that description is We…”

“Be quiet!” Lan WangJi snapped. “Some names still carry a death sentence with them. And unless you want to be responsible for a lot of people getting hurt, don’t mention her name out loud.”

“Is she that dangerous?”

“Her?” Lan WangJi scoffed. “She was a healer. And a damn good one. Maybe even the best at the time. But she’s not the one you should be worried about….. Wei WuXian and SiZhui will do everything they can to protect her. And may the gods help us all if Jiang WanYin and the other Sect Leaders find out she’s alive and still hold her family against her….”

Jin Ling paled a bit at that statement. “What will Uncle Jiang do? I sent for him right after I sent for you….”

“I don’t know.” Lan WangJi sighed heavily. “He’ll either try to kill her or kiss her. I’m sure Wei WuXian will not allow either.... Well, maybe the kissing part after they're engaged. If he tries to kill her… A’Xian may refrain from fratricide, but I’m not so sure SiZhui would hold back a killing blow.”

“Kiss her?” Jin Ling’s mind was racing, trying to piece together old conversations with this new information. “Engaged?” The only woman who appeared to have his uncle’s heart was the woman with the comb…. This ragged beggar was the woman with the comb? No wonder his uncle had claimed politics got in the way…. Marrying a Wen in the aftermath of the SunShot Campaign? Marrying one of the Yiling Patriarch’s people? He would have been shunned by every other Clan. Maybe even ousted as Sect Leader.

But why did SiZhui faint at seeing Wen Qing? Or be willing to kill Uncle Jiang to protect her? The boy was only three when she ‘died’.... How would a Lan toddler know who Wen Qing was? Except ZhuiGe wasn’t a Lan, was he…. He was the Didi of someone who knew Lan WangJi…. 

How would Lan WangJi’s adopted son know who Wen Qing was? Jin Ling looked sideways at the man still pulling him along. _Would Lan WangJi have adopted a Wen child? Was the marketplace Gege in SiZhui’s memory Uncle Wei?_ From what Jin Ling knew of HanGuang-Jun, randomly adopting a child at twenty-two was out of character. But twenty years ago Wei WuXian, Jiang Cheng, and Wen Qing studied at Cloud Recesses for several months and then were together again at that Wen indoctrination thing a few years later. What if Uncle Jiang fathered a child on Wen Qing? And she didn’t tell him because of the campaign against her clan.... It made perfect sense that Wei WuXian would have protected both the mother and his nephew…. While keeping Uncle Jiang in the dark so as not to destroy his reputation or force him to make a choice between his lover and their child and his Clan. And Wei WuXian absolutely would give the child to his friend to raise when he knew he was going to die…. 

Lan WangJi might not adopt a stray child, but he would most certainly adopt one that his husband had claimed as his family….

Was ZhuiGe a cousin by blood instead of adoption? 

But would Lan WangJi have kept SiZhui from Uncle Jiang? Deny a man his own son after the mother died? Deny a son his true father? Lan WangJi had no reason to protect Uncle Jiang from the scorn of the Sect leaders…. And every reason to want him to fail. Uncle Jiang, after all, did try to kill Uncle Wei…. Humiliating the man would be a good start in getting revenge. But then so would keeping his child from him…. Especially since no one would ever know. Lan WangJi’s almost blemishless reputation would stay intact…. 

Would HanGuang-Jun keep for himself the last link to the man he loved? Jin Ling decided the answer to that question was ‘absolutely’.

Lan WangJi abruptly pulled his nephew to the side of the street, interrupting his train of thought, and stopped. He curtly told the guards to leave them and removed a piece of paper from his sleeve once they were gone. _Of course they listen when an adult says to leave, but not me._ Reading the characters on the paper, he muttered, “Hmm. Jiang WanYin arrived at the tea house. He opted for a third choice: he fainted. The proprietor has kicked them all out. Wei WuXian is renting private rooms in an inn further down the street.”

 _Uncle Jiang fainted? Like father, like son?_ “What’s that?” Jin Ling pointed to the paper. The characters were slowly disappearing.

Lan WangJi looked up. “It’s Wei WuXian’s way of telling me that I’m not keeping him busy enough back at home. And that even Silence spells will not keep him from talking.” Jin Ling blushed. Did ‘keeping busy’ really mean keeping busy? Or was it a polite way of saying ‘having sex’? Lan WangJi ignored the blush. “Is there a room in Koi Tower where we can hide her? Somewhere the servants refuse to clean?”

Jin Ling scratched his head. “Jin GuangYao’s old home, the Blooming Garden, is empty.” He refused to call that man his uncle. Or even half-uncle. “As long as she doesn’t light candles at night or make too much noise, she should be safe there. Even the guards don’t walk too close….”

“I can take care of the noise and light problem. First we need to solve the ‘breaking her into Koi Tower’ problem.” Lan WangJi strode off, thankfully no longer pulling Jin Ling. But the older man’s strides were much longer than the younger’s, so it still felt like he was a little kid hurrying after his grown-up. They stopped only to talk to the Captain of the Guards. The captain was uncertain about giving them the details for keeping the Tower safe. 

Lan WangJi was undeterred. “I need to see how you protect my nephew.”

Jin Ling caught unusual movement in his peripheral vision. Lan WangJi was famous for being able to stand completely still for hours, left hand calmly holding Bichen, right hand in a loose fist resting in the narrow of his back. So why was that fist opening and closing? Was it a signal of some sorts? The fist squeezed tightly leaving visible indentations on the palm…. What did that mean…. Anger? Jin Ling pouted in response. “I’m not a baby anymore, HanGuang-Jun!” he cried and the fist relaxed. “I’m almost fifteen. I don’t need anyone standing over me anymore.” He changed his whole demeanor to a sulky look, hunching slightly. And received the barest of nods in response. Lan WangJi’s cool gaze slid from the captain to Jin Ling and back. Jin Ling somehow understood that glance was an order to persuade the captain. _How does he do that without talking?_ “You do know the purpose of this conference is to find wives for the Sect Leaders, right? Except for me, of course.” The captain nodded. “Then is it reasonable to expect that my uncle Jiang WanYin will be spending the next few years paying attention to his new wife and children? Instead of coming here every few weeks to keep an eye on me? But with Jiang WanYin otherwise occupied, the Head of Cultivation here and the Yiling Patriarch have decided they are taking over my guardianship. Even though I don’t need it!”

“That makes sense. That really makes sense” the captain hastily agreed. Although he probably would have agreed to almost anything once the dreaded Yiling Patriarch was mentioned. 

“I want to see what protections you have around the Tower,” Lan WangJi smoothly went on. “Especially for when we’re not here to keep an eye on the boy.”

“I’m not a boy,” Jin Ling whined, only partly keeping up his act. 

The captain was now more than happy to review protocols and shift details with HanGuang-Jun. The cool authority of the elder combined with the petulant behavior of the younger and the veiled threat of the Yiling Patriarch worked. An hour later, Lan WangJi bowed his thanks to the captain. “These are most excellent plans. I cannot think of a single improvement.”

Once outside and out of earshot, Lan WangJi shook his head. “Almost fifteen? You’re barely fourteen!”

“I’ve been fourteen for almost a month. That’s practically fifteen,” Jin Ling insisted. “Are those plans going to be a problem for Uncle Wei and his friends?”

“Why would they?” Lan WangJi spat. “Those plans haven’t changed in the last twenty years. I can see why Jin GuangYao kept him on. It’s very easy to sneak in and out of here.”

“If the plans are full of holes, why didn’t you say something?”

“Because I want your uncle to be able to break in easily! SiZhui and Jiang Cheng can walk right in through the gates, but Wei WuXian will need help with the lady. Jiang Cheng is about as subtle as a thunderstorm, and SiZhui has never tried to break in or out of anywhere. Wei WuXian can get in and out on his own just fine. And if the lady was healthy, she’d be able to get in undetected as well.”

“Uncle Wei is good at breaking into places?”

“I think he spent a good portion of his childhood climbing over the walls at Lotus Pier…. And I know he snuck into and out of Koi Tower at least once. I don’t know about the Unclean Realm in Qinghe; he only stayed there for a few days. And of course he escaped the Burial Mounds…. The first day we met, I caught him climbing over the walls at Cloud Recesses after curfew. But I only caught him because he happened to pick right where I was standing to come in. He broke through our wards and then patched them up again so cleanly that it took the Elders days to figure out how he did it.”

“What were you doing out after curfew?” Jin Ling was astonished. 

“Breaking it,” Lan WangJi replied blandly. As if breaking Lan Rules was an everyday occasion for him. _I had just met the most extraordinary person a few hours before…. I wanted some time alone to think, and it was rather difficult to do that with seven other boys farting and snoring around me._

Jin Ling blinked at him. This was a side of the great HanGuang-Jun no one ever talked about. 

“Don’t worry about this. If Jiang Cheng blunders around and gets caught, he’ll be able to talk his way out of it. And SiZhui will do exactly what he’s told.” Lan WangJi removed the paper from his sleeve and started writing on it with his finger. “There. I’ve told Wei WuXian to go to the Blooming Garden once it gets dark enough. When they get here, you may need to have another tantrum to distract anyone near the building.”

Jin Ling nodded. He was good at throwing tantrums. Too good. But he was still curious about that paper…. “How does that paper work?”

“Somehow the two pages are connected. So what is written on one page shows up on the other for a short while.”

“And Uncle Wei just decided to make it.”

“A few weeks ago we were out on a night hunt with your friends. Wei WuXian wasn’t allowed to talk after a few hours.”

“Why not? Was he being too loud?”

“No. Your friends spent too much time asking for his opinion and assistance. Asking your seniors for advice is good but not to the point where you aren’t making any decisions for yourself. I put a Silence spell on him when he refused to stop helping them. Your uncle was frustrated at not being allowed to talk, so he made these.”

“During a night hunt.”

“Yes.” 

“Uncle Wei must be really smart.”

“He is. You could certainly do a lot worse than to learn from him.”


	12. Chapter 12

The tea house proprietor scowled. “What is going on here? If you are sick, you need to leave now. I don’t need rumors of some sort of a fainting sickness ruining my business.”

Lan SiZhui’s eyelids flicked a few times, and he let out a low moan. Wei WuXian immediately rushed to his side and sank down next to him. “It's OK, little turnip. Take your time. Your aunt will still be here when you’re ready to sit up.” Wen Qing mouthed ‘turnip?’, and Wei WuXian nodded. _Yes, this is your A’Yuan…._ To the proprietor he lied, “The boy’s just had a bit of a scare that’s all. Thought he saw a ghost! You know how the young are. Overly excited about everything. You see this lady here is the boy’s aunt, and her house burned down in a fire a while back. We were told that everyone was dead. But happily, the lady escaped the fire! Isn’t that nice?” He pulled out a silver piece from his money pouch and balanced it on his palm. “How about some tea? Best thing to calm the nerves, eh?” The proprietor was wavering; Wei WuXian could see it in his face. Jiang Cheng arriving and immediately fainting, however, ruined everything and the four of them quickly found themselves out in the street. 

“No talking until we’re all alone, and definitely no more fainting!” Wei WuXian hissed. He led the way to an inn a few buildings away where he reserved a room with a bath for Wen Qing and a private parlor for the men. 

* * *

Freshly bathed and in clean clothes, Wen Qing sat down at the dining table with the three men. Wei WuXian had ordered a vegetable soup and some bread for her, and plenty of meat dishes for them. Lan SiZhui blanched at the bowls of spicy red food in front of him and stared wistfully at the clear soup. Traveling outside Cloud Recesses had introduced him to more flavorful foods than was served at the Lan dining pavilion, but he was still not used to the level of spice that his Baba craved.

Wen Qing knew that when one was literally starving, there was a fine line between eating enough and too much. Too much and the stomach would reject everything. It would be better to have her eat a little bit and then rest so as not to upset her stomach for the next few days. So after a few bites, she put her spoon down and kept her gaze on her bowl. 

Wei WuXian asked, “How did you survive?” 

“We were captured almost as soon as we entered the city. The trial and deliberation took only a few minutes and we were all sentenced to die. A few hours before dawn the next morning, Meng Yao and a servant came into our cell. He said we were to be burned at the stake at dawn. It was a symbolic gesture: the last of the Sun clan burning as the sun rises. His servant had some bowls of liquid; he said it was a poison: slow acting and relatively painless. If we drank it then, we would be dead before the flames were lit. But we would live long enough to walk to the execution ground. The spectacle was important, you see. Much more important than the manner of death.” Wei WuXian glanced over at Jiang Cheng wondering if they should tell Wen Qing the truth: that her clansmen and women were not poisoned and burned, but hanged fully cognizant of their impending fate and their bodies displayed as a warning first on the Lanling city walls and then at Nightlesss City. The only ones who were supposed to have been burned at the stake were, apparently, kept alive and hidden for years…. Jiang Cheng refused to look at him, though, so Wei WuXian stayed quiet. _Let her think they died painlessly for a little while longer._

“We drank it, of course. I remember being tied to the post. I remember Grannie’s cries. I remember seeing the sky turning pink. And then I woke up in a house, chained and drugged so I couldn't use spiritual energy. Meng Yao called me a back-up plan when I saw him a few weeks later. I was still counting the days, then. He came to tell me you killed yourself. And that he personally collected your body. He described your suicide in great detail. And always with that horrible smile on his face. 

“A while ago, a few weeks maybe? A month? Two months? I’m not sure. It’s been rather hard to keep track of time. Anyways, the woman who kept me chained, she told me she hadn’t been paid for that month. Nor for the previous month. And she hadn’t been paid to kill me, either. She hit me hard on the head, and I woke up in a ditch near a road. Most of the people traveling the road were headed in the same direction, so I went that way, too. And ended up here. 

“A few days ago, people started talking about the Yiling Patriarch being in the city. I thought you might be willing to help me, but I had no way of contacting you. The guards at the base of Koi Tower refused me entrance, refused to carry a message. So today when the young master wanted to apologize for stepping on me, I asked him if the rumors were true. Before I could ask him to carry a message to you, he sent off one of his men….” 

Wei WuXian rubbed at his throat where a fading scar lay. “That Meng Yao! If he wasn’t dead already, I’d gladly kill him myself. So many secrets! He didn’t kill your brother, either.” Wen Qing looked up, hope in her eyes for the first time since leaving the tea house. “Wen Ning has a small house in Gusu near Cloud Recesses. I wouldn’t let him come to the conference here; there are still too many cultivators who would try to kill the Ghost General on sight. But I will send him a message letting him know you’re alive and safe.” Wei WuXian glanced at his brother who hadn’t moved since Wen Qing sat down. He hadn’t said a word since reviving from his faint at the tea house. Wen Qing hadn’t looked at Jiang Cheng since then…. There were definitely too many people in the room. “Come along, A’Yuan. I’m going to take a nap.”

“But I want….”

Wei Ying pulled his son up and pushed him towards the door. “Your aunt and uncle need to talk, and we don’t need to be a part of that conversation.” He shut the door behind them, and gave the hesitant boy a gentle push towards Wen Qing’s bed chamber. 

“But… what do they need to talk about that I can’t be there for? I want to talk to QingJie if you’re just going to nap!”

“I'm guessing they need to discuss how soon the wedding will be. And what the names of their children will be. I just hope they don’t start working on those children today. Wen Qing is not healthy enough to handle a pregnancy yet.”

“Wedding?” Lan SiZhui stopped in the middle of the hallway. “When did they decide to get married?”

Wei Ying rolled his eyes at the ceiling, and forcefully pushed A’Yuan into the bedroom. “Wen Qing is still under a death sentence. Now, we all know she isn’t guilty of any major crime, but she is guilty of being a Wen. So the best way to remove that threat is to bring her into another clan. Once she’s no longer a Wen, we can work on getting her a pardon. Jiang Cheng needs a wife; she needs a husband. They both still seem to be fascinated by the other. It’s a better start than some marriages. And it’s not like they’re teenagers anymore…. A three year gap is almost insurmountable when the boy is fifteen and the girl is eighteen. It’s not so big between thirty-five and thirty-eight. 

“Now lie down. I want to nap, and I can’t sleep by myself anymore.” The two men settled into the bed, one slightly more comfortable than the other. Lan SiZhui felt weird having his back being a backrest for his Baba…. 

“Baba? How do you know you’ve met the one you should marry?”

“Why? Did you meet someone?”

“No…. I’m just curious. What if I do meet her at this conference? How do I know?”

“I don’t know…. Love looks different for everybody. But maybe it boils down to asking yourself if you can picture her in your life for the next fifty years…. Watching her grow fat with your children. Watching your hair turn gray together. Having arguments. Making up after the arguments.”

“Is that how you knew you loved Father?”

“I didn’t know men could love each other like this when I was your age. I thought boys were just friends and close friends were like brothers. Love was between a husband and a wife. So no…. I just knew that I wanted to be around him all the time. 

“If you‘re looking for a role model on how to behave in love, don’t look at us from the past…. We are more of a cautionary tale of what not to do.”

“I don’t understand, Baba.”

Wei WuXian sat up cross-legged on the bed, and Lan SiZhui quickly followed. “You’re not going to let me sleep, are you.” He sighed and rubbed at his nose. “A’Yuan, the hardest part of loving someone is defining and accepting your own self-worth. Whether it is the love for a friend or a brother or a lover. If they can’t accept you for who you are, you need to let them go. Don’t chase after someone who only wants to fix you because she sees you as broken. Even if you are broken… she can’t heal you. Only you can do that. Or vice versa.

“At some point you are going to find yourself preparing to stand before your lover emotionally naked and defenseless. If you can’t do that, if you are afraid…. If you have to run away and hide…. How can your lover ever really know and love you? 

“If all you see are your pretty faces and manners and the pleasure you can give each other, and the home and family you can provide for each other, that’s not really, truly being in love. That’s more of an infatuation type of love. Infatuation is not a bad thing, and you can build a life together on it. Many people live quite happily being infatuated with their lovers. 

“Your father and I spent those six years falling in love with each other, but every time we had the opportunity to bare our souls, we stepped back. We had our reasons for doing so, and they were very valid reasons. But I will not say that we made the best choices, either of us. Luckily, we got a second chance. And we made better choices this time.”

Wei WuXian reached into his lapels and pulled out the twin to Lan WangJi’s paper. He tilted it so Lan SiZhui could read it, too. “That bastard Yao is finally going to be the cause of something good.”

“Baba? How are we going to smuggle QingJie in?”

Wei WuXian smiled at his son. “We’re going to walk through the front gates! Do you have money?” Lan SiZhui nodded. “Good, because I have enough to pay for the inn and not much more. She needs a set of red and black clothing. She’s closer to your height than mine, so if we buy clothing a little small for you, it should fit her just fine. And a flute if we can find one. Those damn disciples! Half of them can’t play a single note and yet they all insist on carrying one around. And don’t forget the hair ribbon.”

“You’re going to dress her as a Wei disciple.”

“We only have to worry about people my age and older who may have known her well. There’s only a handful that I can think of…. It’s pretty much just the ones who studied with us in both the Lan class and in the Wen Indoctrination class and are still unmarried. She wasn’t very popular back then by choice; she was very busy spying for Wen RuoHan at Cloud Recesses…. And hiding from Wen Chao the rest of the time. So most of those of us still around will have, at best, hazy memories of her after eighteen years, and even if they think she looks familiar, Wen Qing supposedly died right in front of hundreds of people. Regular guardsmen and the younger crowd would have heard of her in the stories about how the last of the Wen were executed. But they won’t know what she looks like. 

“You must have noticed how all the older cultivators pretend to not see my so-called disciples?”

“You pretend to not see your so-called disciples.”

“Yes, well, they’re not my disciples! Anyone who knew her will see the robes and not take a further look. And Wei disciples tagging along behind me happens all the time. We’ll probably pick up a few on the way up which will further enhance her disguise.”

“You’re going to hide her in plain sight.”

“It’s the easiest form of deception.”

* * *

Lan WangJi and Jin Ling stood on one of the many terraces overlooking the stairs to Koi Tower and the city. To a casual observer, they appeared relaxed, but a closer look would reveal Jin Ling’s hand clenched far too tightly around his sword and Lan WangJi’s eyes darting here and there looking for his husband. Only the Yiling Patriarch would be daring enough to walk a condemned criminal right through the front gates as if she belonged. And get away with it.

“Is that them?” Jin Ling asked, pointing at a crowd of black robes approaching the base of the Tower. 

Lan WangJi was about to say no when a smaller group of four, two in black, one in pale blue, and one in dark lilac, joined the larger. This new group strolled right past the guards at the base of Koi Tower and started to ascend the stairs without trouble. “Yes,” he answered a bit belatedly. 

“Uncle Lan,” Jin Ling tested out the new name. It felt a bit uncomfortable in the way a new cut of a robe felt uncomfortable: wear it a little bit longer, and it would feel just fine. “There is a memorial service tomorrow evening for my parents.” He saw Lan WangJi’s usual straight posture stiffen even further. “We hold services for both of them on the same day because Uncle Jiang used to get questioned if we were mourning my mother or his Shixiong when we had separate services on each of their death days…. I was wondering if you and Uncle Wei and SiZhui would like to attend. I understand if you cannot, but I would like for you to be there. I think it would give my mother comfort to see her Didi there….”

“Mmm. We will be there. Your mother was a wonderful woman.”

“My father, too?”

“Your father was overly arrogant because of his birth position instead of his abilities. Falling in love with your mother and becoming your father humbled him and made him much more enjoyable to be near. 

“Oh, and you don’t need to call me Uncle Lan if it bothers you. A’Xian told me you’re uncomfortable with our marriage."

Jin Ling blushed. “ZhuiGe showed me my discomfort had more to do with me not wanting to choose that kind of marriage for myself than any real objection to that kind of marriage in general…. I suppose it’s part of growing up to realize that not everything that happens is about you and your wants….”

“Mmm.”

“Uncle Lan? Did Uncle Wei kill my mother?”

Lan WangJi turned to face his new nephew. “Didn’t your uncles tell you how she died?”

“Uncle Jiang said Uncle Wei killed her. That’s what most people say. Jin GuangYao said she died because of the Yiling Patriarch.”

 _Ah. A truth as we thought it at the time; would they have survived if we had known the actual truth?_ “Your mother ran onto the battlefield looking for Wei WuXian. A corpse puppet attacked her, and slashed her back with a sword. Jiang Cheng ran over and held her up, and Wei WuXian knelt in front of her. A cultivator tried to stab Wei WuXian in the back, and your mother pushed him out of the way. The cultivator ended up killing your mother instead. So, no. Wei WuXian did not kill your mother. But he is the reason she died.”

“I’ve never watched someone die before YunPing. Never killed anyone. Just creatures in the night hunts and fierce corpses. But those are already dead…. Is… is it supposed to make your stomach turn over?”

“Now that I’m older, I worry more about the ones who don’t get violently sick after their first battle…. My first time, I hid behind a bush and vomited for what felt like hours. Slaying a ghoul or a fierce corpse did not prepare me for that. I was so embarrassed: I thought I was the only one who couldn’t handle killing an actual person.”

“You weren’t the only one?”

“No. There were many others my age also walking around that night looking green and not able to eat dinner.”

“What was it like watching Uncle Wei die?”

Lan WangJi decided to not answer that question. It hurt too much; even after almost fourteen years, the pain of that memory was excruciating. “I’ve heard some elderly say that death is like an old friend they’re happy to meet. Your uncle was smiling as he fell.”

“But he was only twenty-one! How can death be an old friend to someone so young?”

“Some people live more in twenty years than others do in eighty.”[1]

“You make him sound like he’s the most amazing person to ever walk the earth,” Jin Ling grumbled. 

Lan WangJi just looked at him silently, but somehow, via that uncanny telepathy type of thing he had, Jin Ling knew what his response was. _Do you think I would have fallen in love with him if he was ordinary?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you dear readers! My week has been full of smiles, and most of it comes from you.... 
> 
> [1] Yes, I stole that line. I’ve loved it since the moment I heard it. (10 points to your House if you know who said it.)
> 
> If any of you are also on Wattpad, my story is there as well. But only like 30 people have read it.... Same title, same username. If you'd support my work there, I'd HUGELY appreciate it!
> 
> Stay safe everyone!


	13. Chapter 13

Wen Qing looked like a completely different person than the street beggar she had been just a few hours before. She was still far too thin if one looked closely, but clean and rested and dressed in the black and red of a Wei disciple, the hood of her cloak pulled up to shade her face, and walking behind her “Master” in the company of other similarly dressed Wei disciples, she looked like she belonged. The guards at the entrance to Koi Tower ignored her just like they ignored the rest of the group; Wei WuXian and Jiang WanYin and company were all allowed in without questioning. She tired easily, though, and Lan SiZhui was tasked with assisting her up the stairs to Jin GuangYao’s room. 

Once the door was locked behind them and sufficient spells were placed to keep outsiders from hearing or seeing anything in the building, Wei WuXian insisted the others leave to allow Wen Qing the chance to rest. “Lan WangJi and I will keep watch tonight.” To Wen Qing he added, “Sleep a lot. Eat a little, and we can all talk strategy tomorrow.”

Lan WangJi pulled a book out of his sleeve and sat at Meng Yao’s desk to read. Wei WuXian went to join him, but Wen Qing pulled on his robe. “Stay for a while, please.” Wen Qing lay down in the bed, while Wei WuXian sat at her feet. “How did you survive?” she whispered.

“I didn’t.” His answer was short, to the point, and laced with bitterness. Looking at her wan face, Wei WuXian decided to give her a highly edited version. “Once your needles lost their hold, I went to the Nightless City to get myself killed. I originally thought to die in battle. But then one of them tried to stab me in the back, and Shijie pushed me out of the way; he killed her instead. So I changed my mind and decided to do it myself…. They didn’t deserve the honor of killing me. Not after murdering you all. And Shijie. 

“Lan WangJi found A’Yuan hiding in the Burial Mounds and adopted him. He’s called Lan SiZhui, and he’s just as sweet as he was when he was a baby. A good cultivator, too. 

“Seven or eight months ago, I woke up in a hovel as the result of a particularly nasty spell. The person who brought me back was another bastard son of Jin GuangShan named Mo XuanYu.” 

Wen Qing yawned. “Why did he bring you back?”

Wei Ying debated how much to tell her. “He wanted revenge upon the people who hurt him. This spell requires the one brought back to enact revenge. And who better to enact revenge than the cultivator blamed for the deaths of tens of thousands?” He tried and failed to keep the bitterness out of his words. “I think he was encouraged by someone who wanted revenge on Jin GuangYao.”

“But why you? Not that I’m complaining that you’re back….”

Wei WuXian scratched his nose. “I’m still not exactly sure about that. The list of dead evil cultivators is not short. But if the mastermind really wanted Jin GuangYao exposed and not just dead, then maybe he needed more than simply an evildoer.”

“So Jin GuangYao was evil?”

“We can give you a more complete list of what he’s done later. But, yes. He took down anyone who got in his way and anyone who might eventually get in his way. Or was just a useful pawn. But he’s dead now, and I’m no longer the most hated villain in the world.”

“So what’s happened since he died?”

“I spent the next three or so months wandering around, trying to decide where I belonged. Lan WangJi was elected Head of Cultivation.”

“Did you go home to Lotus Pier?”

Wei WuXian sighed. “Well, Jiang Cheng and Jin Ling still at least partly blamed me for all those deaths in their family. I may not have been the one who did the deed, but I was central to every death. I felt they needed time to figure things out. And I didn’t really want to be around them in case they decided I needed to die again.

“I finally ended up in Cloud Recesses last month. I thought I’d stay a while and see A’Yuan and Lan WangJi. Try to figure out where to go next. Then this marriage mart and conference was announced, and one thing led to another, and a few days ago, Lan Zhan and I got married.”

“Married?”

“Does this upset you?” Wei WuXian wasn’t sure how open minded Wen Qing was. 

“Not really. I remember well how he used to follow you around Cloud Recesses.”

“I think you mean to say I used to follow him around.”

“That, too. While I was spying for my uncle, I remember seeing you and your friends running around having fun. And Lan WangJi was always watching you.” Wei WuXian looked over at Lan WangJi. Were his ears just a little bit redder than normal? “I thought he was trying to catch you to get you in trouble, but maybe he was just watching you….”

“The way you and my brother watched each other?” Wei WuXian teased. Wen Qing flushed. “When is the wedding, by the way?”

Wen Qing blushed even more red. “He asked. I said no.”

“No? Why not?”

“I want to clear my and my brother’s names first before I think about marriage. I can’t be selfish and marry now only to turn him into a widower if I’m burned at the stake for real this time.”

“No one’s going to burn anyone. No one’s dying for having a Wen surname. But if this is what you want, A’Yuan, Jiang Cheng, and I will protect you. Lan Zhan?” Wei WuXian took the mmm as a yes. “Lan Zhan will protect you, too.” He thought for a moment. “It looks like Jin Ling will also protect you. And Lan XiChen will go along with Lan Zhan, so that’s three of the four major Sect leaders right there. I’m sure we can get Nie HuaiSang to join us. The support of these four will absolutely win over a lot of the Clan and minor Sect leaders…. We might have to wait until the end of this marriage thing, though. Right now so many parental figures are working out marriage arrangements they aren’t paying attention during the Conference meetings.”

“That’s fine. Can I go home in the meantime? I miss my home….”

“Home? I thought your home in Qishan was destroyed.”

“I meant the other place I called home. Where Wen Ning took you after Lotus Pier was destroyed. The Yiling Supervisory Office. But before my uncle and cousins appropriated it, it was my home for many years.”

“The Yiling Supervisory Office was completely razed a few months after Wei WuXian’s suicide.” Lan WangJi commented. “A mob of cultivators and soldiers from many clans decided to tear everything down one night. And then they built huge bonfires for months using the debris. I’m afraid there is nothing to go home to anymore.”

Wei WuXian ignored the tears starting to leak from Wen Qing’s eyes. “Sleep well, now. Things will look brighter in the morning.” He blew out the candle, and left her side to go sit on Lan Zhan’s lap.

“What a day,” he said softly. “Wen Qing is alive. Our son is growing up.”

“A’Yuan? What happened?”

“He asked how to know if he met ‘the one’. Which means he’s at least thinking about falling in love or getting married.”

“Mmm. Wei Ying... we’ve been invited to a memorial service tomorrow.”

“Oh? For who?”

Lan Zhan stayed silent for a long moment, savoring Wei Ying's innocence and hating that he was going to break it. “Wei Ying…. This week… tomorrow... it is fourteen years already.” Wei WuXian’s mind went completely blank as he tried, and failed, to process this information. Lan Zhan pulled his unresisting lover into a closer embrace. His own body was trembling with repressed emotions.

Seven days of Hell. Almost thirty senseless, needless deaths on top of the several hundred cultivators who died at Qiongqi Path and the Nightless City. The ‘siege’ of the Burial Mounds that ended up being a looting and burning spree as the only defender was Lan WangJi.

Jin ZiXuan.

The Wen clan.

Jiang YanLi.

Wei WuXian.

The only good that arose from that week was rescuing Wen Yuan. 

Almost an hour had passed by the time Wei Ying regained his senses. “Lan Zhan,” he whispered.

“I’m here.” Lan Zhan’s legs had long ago turned numb but he had no desire to move.

“Lan Zhan…”Wei Ying whimpered. “I need you.”

“Here? We can’t, A’Xian. Wen Qing is right there!” 

Wei Ying moved to straddle his husband. He left sloppy kisses all over Lan Zhan’s face. “Then silence me. But I need you.” One hand slid down into Lan Zhan’s trousers and palmed the hardening flesh there. “Please,” he begged. “Get in me. Love me. I need to feel… make me feel alive.” He stood up, shoved his trousers down, and returned to kneel over his lover. 

“You’re not ready,” Lan Zhan panted, wiggling his own trousers off and ignoring the pins and needles feeling as sensation returned to his legs. “Let me prepare you. I don’t want to hurt you….”

“No need. Just oil up and do me. Please…” Any further words he had were silenced. There was only a pouring sound, and then the sound of wet flesh being rubbed. 

“Wei Ying, are you sure?” Receiving a nod, Lan Zhan grabbed his husband’s hips and pulled down, impaling him. Wei Ying tried to scream in pain and pleasure, but it only came out muffled. The two men looked over at the bed to make sure Wen Qing hadn’t woken up from any of the noises. Seeing her still slumbering, Wei Ying rose and fell a few times, and then stayed still, completely full with his husband. Lan Zhan rubbed soothing hands along Wei Ying’s back, pushing down his own need to be connected to his husband. “I’m going to remove the silence spell; tell me what you need.”

“I need to kiss you. I need you hard and fast. I need you to break me into a million pieces and make me whole again.”

Lan Zhan gratefully gave in to their mutual desires. Sitting on the floor, he didn’t have the leverage to push himself inside as hard as he wanted, so instead he pulled and pushed Wei WuXian’s hips forcing his lover to follow his rhythm. He used his lips to silence their gasps and moans. When it still wasn’t enough for either of them, he put the silence spell back on and had Wei WuXian lie on his stomach, while he pounded into him from behind. In the end, they both broke into millions of little pieces…. And cuddling with each other in the aftermath, they built each other whole again. 

* * *

Lan XiChen walked through a garden thinking hard about his future. Earlier he had gone on his fourth outing with Jin ChangYing, one of the Jin Elders’ granddaughters. She was beautiful, respectful, her calligraphy was perfection defined, her manners impeccable, an adequate cultivator, and she had all the right connections. She sang on key, she danced well, and she could play the zither reasonably well. She was well versed in politics and articulate in her observations and reasoning. Her embroidery was exquisite and her painting and drawing skills almost as good. She was probably close to the ideal woman, and she had made it quite clear that she was more than happy to exchange her robes in the Jin gold for ones in Lan blue. 

So why was he hesitating? 

Who could ask for more than almost perfection in a spouse?

A cacophony of sound and a loud laugh interrupted his thoughts. He looked towards the sound to see a group of Wei disciples sitting on the ground while a woman stood in front of them bent over holding her stomach as she chortled. “You’re all horrible!” she gasped finally. “Master Wei wouldn’t take on a single one of you as a real disciple if you continue to make such noises.” She walked into the middle of the group and showed them how to place their fingers on the flutes again. “Like so, yes? Purse your lips just like this.” She made an exaggerated face to show them, and then gently blew into her flute; a clear note emerged. “Now your turn.” Her students tried again with varying degrees of success. She walked around correcting finger placement and mouth positions. But still, the results were more noise than note. 

She wasn’t beautiful; passably pretty was the closest compliment she was going to get. She laughed loud and unapologetically. Being a Wei disciple probably meant that her cultivation ability was low or some other Sect would have taken her in. In the few minutes he was watching the lesson, she had already tied her hair back twice. It seemed like the strands were too silky for the ribbon to hold onto. Whoever she was, she was nothing like the refined and elegant Jin ChangYing. So why was his heart racing? 

“You can join us Master Lan if you’d like!” she offered, a laugh not quite hiding in her voice. “You don’t need to lurk. The class, such as it is, is open to all.”

Lan XiChen bowed slightly. “I don’t play the flute, Teacher. I already play the xiao. But I thank you for the invitation.”

She clapped her hands giddily. “Oh! Would you play for us? Perhaps you could inspire some of my unworthy students to choose the xiao for an instrument. It would give my poor ears a break if they went to torment some other teacher!” She bust out laughing again. “I am such a horrible teacher that even after a week of classes, this is the best they’ve done yet!”

“Another time, perhaps,” he hedged. “I don’t have the instrument with me.”

“No worries,” she tossed her hair out of her face, frowned and pulled off her ribbon. “I’m Li MeiLi. If you ever want to change your mind, we practice here almost every day at this time.”

“I’m Lan XiChen,” he saluted her. “I think I would like that.”

As he walked away he heard someone say, “ZuWu-Jun associate with Wei disciples? That will never happen.”

“Of course it will,” trilled Li MeiLi. “His younger brother is HanGuang-Jun after all. It’s not like he can avoid the connection forever.”

“What connection?” another voice asked.

“Marriage of course. Wei WuXian is married to Lan WangJi. Once Master Wei selects proper disciples to train, not us random cultivators pretending to be disciples, ZeWu-Jun will associate with them.” Li MeiLi sounded sad as she called herself a ‘random cultivator’. “So we must train hard at what we can to prove to Master Wei that we are worthy of being his disciples!

Lan XiChen heard the clamor of the flutes again and turned back to watch. Li MeiLi had apparently given up on keeping her hair in the ribbon as it was now tied around her wrist. He placed his hand over his heart to feel it still beating too hard. Was this how WangJi felt looking at Wei WuXian? Was this how a man was supposed to feel when looking at a woman? 

Whatever it was, it seemed this was why he was hesitating about Jin ChangYing. Five minutes of being five meters away from Li MeiLi and he was curious to know what it felt like to kiss someone who was laughing. But after four days spent right alongside Jin ChangYing, he had no interest in even holding her hand. 

Resolute in at least one decision about his future, Lan XiChen continued walking aimlessly. It was one thing to turn down a most eligible partner because she did not move him emotionally, but to exchange her for a clanless woman simply because she stirred his blood? Lust was not an acceptable reason for a Sect leader to choose a wife. He needed a helper, not just a bed partner. Finally he trudged back towards his rooms; the memorial service for Jin ZiXuan and Jiang YanLi was starting in about an hour, and he wanted to make sure he looked presentable. 

From the courtyard outside his room, he heard the sorrowful sound of a flute. He sang the words under his breath as he checked that his robes were in order. The song was about two lovers torn apart from each other by power hungry families. Obedient to their parents’ wishes, the two married others and lived peacefully, if not happily, for the rest of their lives. But with their dying breaths, they begged the gods to allow them to be reborn as lovers in their next lives. He stepped outside his room to find that, of course, it was a woman dressed in black and red playing the flute. And of course her hair was unbound, the ribbon that should have held it back, tied around her wrist and fluttering in the light breeze. “Li MeiLi,” he greeted her. “It’s nice to see you again. Would you like some tea?” He felt awkward; how do you talk to a woman you hardly know and you’ve daydreamed about kissing? And then he felt even more awkward; he didn’t have time to serve tea. He needed to leave soon for the memorial service.

She shook her head. “I just want to know something.”

“Ask. If it is within my abilities, I will probably say yes.” 

“That’s not what I…. That is….” She stamped her foot in anger. “I’m not usually this incoherent. That song… I haven’t played it in years. I haven’t thought about it in years! But as soon as I saw you there in the garden, I could hear it. Like someone was there with us singing that song. Did you hear it, too? Or am I crazy?”

“I didn’t hear it, no. But I felt it very deeply when you played it just now.” Had he claimed she wasn’t beautiful before? It must have been the distance between them or the shadow of Jin ChangYing blurring his vision. At less than an arm’s length away, he could clearly see her eyes were the exact color of his favorite tea. And her lashes were thick and formed a perfect fan upon her cheeks when she blinked. Her oval face might not be the pale jade color that most women aspired to, but the lightly tanned skin was flawless; his fingers itched to see if it felt as smooth as it looked. Her nose might be a little on the flat side, but it was the perfect imperfection contrasting to the exquisiteness that was her mouth. 

Her mouth... those lips... slightly pink, slightly peach, felt so plump against his own. They molded so nicely, parted so sweetly for him to thrust his tongue in to taste. One hand reached out to lightly pull on the back of her neck, tilting her head into a more pleasing position. The other wound its way around her back, pulling her body into his. Once their bodies were barely touching from chest to knees, his hips involuntarily nudged forward a bit. Enough for him to feel the amazing softness of her belly against his growing erection. 

Lan XiChen stumbled back, horrified at what he had just done. The words I’m sorry stuck in his throat as if someone had put a silence spell on him. But how could he apologize? It was wrong. So very wrong. And yet it felt as if it was the first absolutely correct thing he had ever done in his life. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I found these names on the web. According to that site, ChangYing means ‘flourishing and lustrous’ while MeiLi means ‘beautiful and graceful’. I just like the way the names sound. 


	14. Chapter 14

“Don’t you dare apologize.” Li MeiLi warned. “You kissed me; I kissed you back.” She nodded towards his groin. “We both enjoyed it. It’s not like I'm some shy wilting flower who is going to demand a marriage proposal because you dared to touch my lips with yours. Or that I’m some high muckety-muck’s daughter, and you’ve soiled me or anything.”

“Shouldn’t you be upset that I kissed you like that?” How could she look so unfazed? His lips could still feel hers, he could still taste her. His heart felt like it was going to explode and his stomach was doing flip-flops. 

“ZeWu-Jun, I grew up on a farm, not in some palace. I’ve spent the last decade wandering around trying to earn a living as a cultivator with no clan to assist me. Compared to not eating for a few days, a kiss is nothing to worry about. The only people who can complain about a mutually enjoyed kiss are those who can afford to.”

“You are very forgiving. I’ve just never done that before. So I feel like I should apologize.”

“What? Kissed a woman five minutes after you’ve met her?” Li MeiLi laughed. “I’ve never kissed a man on such a short acquaintance, either….”

“No. Not like this. I’ve never...” Lan XiChen admitted incoherently. He kept the truth firmly in his head. _I’ve never kissed a woman before_. 

Li MeiLi stopped laughing. “Oh…. Do you… are you like your brother, then? Do you prefer men?”

“No!” Lan XiChen was horrified at that suggestion. “No, I’m not a… not that I’m against it, it’s just I’m not…” he sputtered incoherently. He took a breath to center himself. “I’m not one of those. It’s just that men and women do not usually intermingle at Cloud Recesses, and I…”

“Ahh. I understand. Was this your first kiss then?” Li MeiLi giggled at his strangled expression which pretty much confirmed her guess. “Perhaps I should apologize to you for stealing your first kiss!” She looked up at him coyly through her lashes. “But I won’t! Since you kissed me first and not the other way around.” She fluttered her lashes, boldly pretending to flirt. “That was pretty good for a first kiss, though….” Her pretense at flirting burst as she laughed again. “You look so conflicted there: you enjoyed it, are embarrassed over it, and you’re dressed for a funeral.”

Lan XiChen looked down at his white robes and then back at Li MeiLi in growing horror. “I’m supposed to be at a memorial service.” 

Li MeiLi stopped laughing. “Oh. Well, I suppose you should go then.” She smiled. “I’ll see you around then?”

“Come with me.” Lan XiChen’s eyes opened wide, hearing those words unexpectedly come out of his mouth. “It’s for Jin ZiXuan and Jiang YanLi. Half the cultivators will be there. You won’t be an imposition.”

“Wasn’t Master Wei accused of their murders? I know he didn’t do it, but I don’t think a pretend Wei disciple would be welcomed….” she hedged. 

“Jin ZiXuan would probably agree with that sentiment, but Jiang YanLi would have loved to have met you.”

“Why? I’m loud. I laugh way too much, and I’m uneducated in every way the cultivation world deems important. I can play a flute and draw a few simple talismans. I’m nothing special.”

“It is precisely because you laugh so much that Jiang YanLi would have loved you. Are you coming or not? We can discuss your song after if you’d like.”

“I’ll go with you. But I’ll wait outside.”

Lan XiChen nodded, feeling absurdly happy at this compromise. “Let’s go?” 

* * *

It wasn’t quite half the cultivators in the city who showed up to the service, but it was a significant number of them. If the situation wasn’t so mournful, Lan XiChen would have wanted to laugh as loudly as Li MeiLi did. Men and women who would have openly and aggressively called for Wei WuXian’s execution just a few short months ago (including those who actually did go to the Burial Mounds and the Nightless City exactly for that reason) now made a special effort to ingratiate themselves with the man now that he was not only exonerated, but the spouse of the Head Cultivator. Not a few parents with daughters of marriageable age were overheard muttering how sad it was to see such a valuable cultivator married to another man. A few especially bold ones opined that he should have kept his relationship with Lan WangJi a secret, and they could have married girls who would happily turn a blind eye to such doings in exchange for the connections, power, and prestige marriage would bring them.

Lan XiChen was quite happy with his brother’s choice and pleased that he married out of love, friendship, and respect and not duty or politics. He was also more than slightly envious… He was not enthusiastic in the slightest bit about marrying for the Sect and not himself, but as a Sect leader did he really have that choice? He exited the Hall of Ancestors with his brother and saw Li MeiLi sitting on the ground across the courtyard weaving flowers into a crown. The flowers weren’t the same color, size, or even the same type; it should have looked a mess. Almost every woman he knew would be ashamed to display this concoction. Li MeiLi plopped the finished crown on her head. Somehow… even only knowing her for less than ten minutes, it suited her perfectly. 

Wei WuXian stuck his head in between the brothers. “Introduce me to my new sister-in-law,” he commanded. The three men were dressed almost identically in white mourning robes and the blue Lan headband. Wei WuXian had hoped, unsuccessfully as it turned out, that dressing like a Lan would give him some level of anonymity. 

“She’s not your sister-in-law,” Lan XiChen protested.

“You kissed a woman like that in public and you’re not going to marry her?” Wei WuXian was astonished. He was rather sure there was some Lan rule against kissing for fun. If that wasn’t explicitly stated, he was sure it was covered by the ‘no promiscuity’ rule….

Lan XiChen blushed. "You saw?”

Lan WangJi nodded. “We went to see if you wanted to go with us. We saw you were... busy, so I made A’Xian leave without you.”

Lan XiChen’s response was simply to turn a darker red in embarrassment. “Fine,” Wei WuXian pouted. “Don’t introduce me just yet.” He left to go talk to his brother just as Li MeiLi looked up and saw Lan XiChen. Her blindingly brilliant smile was a powerful magnet, drawing his feet over across the courtyard to her. 

“Li MeiLi, my brother, Lan WangJi. WangJi, this is Li MeiLi.”

“HanGuang-Jun,” she whispered standing up and bowing low. “It’s an honor to meet you.” He saluted her, but did not respond further. The silence was deafening and awkward. One brother trying to pretend he hadn’t seen anything untoward. The other brother pretending nothing had happened. And the woman trying to pretend as if she didn’t exist in this company of two of the most powerful cultivators in this city. 

Wei WuXian interrupted the silence. “The children are hungry and so am I. Jiang Cheng is headed over to have food sent to his place.” He deliberately did not introduce himself to Li MeiLi. “Would you like to join us?” She looked to Lan XiChen for guidance. He nodded; he would like to spend more time with her, and he was a little hungry, too. 

As they walked, Wei WuXian took a place next to Li MeiLi. “I’ve heard a lot about you Wei disciples,” he casually mentioned, “but I’ve never really talked to one. Do you know Master Wei well?” Given that she had not addressed him by name or title, it was quite likely that she, like most of her fellow ‘Wei disciples’, had no idea who he actually was.

“I’ve never met Master Wei,” she answered. “I don’t think I ever will.”

“You’ve never met him and yet you call yourself his disciple? Interesting.”

“As I told ZeWu-Jun, I grew up on a farm. By the time I figured out that I was able to cultivate, every clan and sect I asked refused to teach me. They said I was too old. I didn’t want the arranged marriage my parents insisted on, so I left home about ten years ago to make a living as a traveling cultivator. The only people who would teach me were Wei disciples. Most were kind and taught for free or food. Only a few wanted money or for me to become their servant; I avoided those.”

“But he was believed to have been a mass murderer until only a few months ago. How could you follow such a man?” This was a genuine question Wei WuXian had. His reputation had been in tatters long before his fall, and yet even in the years after his death, more and more cultivators walked around wearing the black and red. 

Li MeiLi was quiet for a few moments. “It was a hard thing to do,” she finally admitted. “On the one hand, the stories about him before he went to the Burial Mounds with the Wen were that he was unstable but brilliant. And then there were the stories that he murdered a thousand cultivators at Qiongqi Path and ten thousand at the Nightless City the night he died.”

“And three thousand more at the end of the SunShot Campaign.” Wei WuXian added.

“I’m not very smart, but I can do simple math, and that math simply doesn’t add up,” Li MeiLi insisted. “The Jin boast that they now have more senior disciples than the Wen did at their height, but they only have about twelve hundred. If every sect sent enough cultivators for Master Wei to have killed fourteen thousand of them, there would be almost no cultivators over the age of twenty-eight or so and under sixty or seventy. So those claims have to be exaggerated. It is far more likely that only twenty or thirty people died at Qiongqi Path and two or three hundred at the Nightless City, perhaps two or three times that number during the SunShot Campaign. Some of the stories also say that the Jin attacked Master Wei first at Qiongqi Path and at the Nightless City, so was it cold-blooded murder or self-defense? 

“I can’t answer that for myself; I wasn’t there. But there is enough doubt for me.”

Wei WuXian pondered her response for a bit. “If he were here, would you ask to become his disciple?”

“Oh no!” she laughed. “I’m not such a powerful cultivator that I could be a real disciple! It would be such an honor to be chosen, though…. I just hope that when he does start his Sect that he allows us pretend ones to continue to wear the black and red. I’ve gotten really attached to the colors. Especially the black. It’s very forgiving when you’re walking around for months at a time.”

Lan XiChen asked, “Why do you think he wants only powerful cultivators as disciples?”

“Well... I guess he would need experienced ones to teach the young ones, right? And then he’ll want to get children so they can be trained without learning any bad habits. That's the same reason the sects wouldn’t accept me as a disciple; I learned on my own for many years, and I don’t have the habits each sect required.” Lan XiChen made a noise like he was going to protest, but Li MeiLi continued before he could say anything. “ZeWu-Jun, look at me: why would the Lan, or any other Clan, accept me as a disciple? I play my flute rather prettily, but I don’t know how to use it to cultivate. I don’t read very well, and my handwriting has been unfavorably compared to chicken scratches. I will not pretend to be shy or reserved; I like to laugh loudly and freely when I am amused.” When ZeWu-Jin opened his mouth to respond, Li MeiLi shook her head. “No, ZeWu-Jun. I am not the kind of cultivator any Clan wants.” Outwardly, she was answering about being a disciple, but both of them understood she was also talking about them: there was no hope for that kiss to become anything else. 

Unable to refute her logic, Lan XiChen quietly gave thanks for the interruption as the door to Jiang Cheng's room slid open; that man knew how to unwittingly bluster his way through awkward moments better than anyone. “Wei WuXian!” Jiang Cheng cried out. “Why are you out there and not coming in? The food has arrived, we’re all hungry, and your husband won’t let us eat because you’re jibber-jabbing out here!”

“Wei WuXian?” asked Li MeiLi , her face blanching, and abjectly bowed, her flower crown falling unnoticed to the ground. “My deepest apologies Master Wei for not recognizing you!”

“If I wanted to be recognized, I wouldn’t be dressed like this,” Wei WuXian muttered under his breath. “Don’t apologize. And don’t call me Master Wei in such a voice. You said it yourself you’re not my disciple, so there’s no need for kowtowing and such stuff.” Li MeiLi rose from her bow, but refused to raise her eyes from the ground. “All right, then.” Wei WuXian huffed. “Let’s go eat.”

Li MeiLi followed the men into the room but stayed near the door. _This is so humiliating!_ It was one thing to call herself a Wei disciple in a general setting, but do do so in front of Master Wei himself? The two small blessings she held onto was that at least she hadn’t claimed he was a mass murderer when he brought that up, and she had stated her unworthiness to be a real Wei disciple. How much more face would she lose if she had done the opposite! Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed a teenager wearing the Lan headband nudging a younger boy, with a Jin mark on his brow; they then scooted over a bit leaving space at the table for another person. “You are Li MeiLi, right?” the older teenager asked. “Come, sit.” When she did as he asked, the boy continued. “My name is Lan SiZhui.” He then introduced, or reintroduced, everyone at the table. “You know my uncle, Lan XiChen, my father, Lan WangJi, and my Baba, Wei WuXian. This is his brother, Jiang WanYin, Sect leader of the YunMengJiang Sect. And this one here is my cousin, Jin Ling, courtesy name Jin RuoLan, the Sect leader of the LanlingJin Sect. 

“You play the flute, right? I’ve seen you teaching in one of the gardens. You’re pretty good.”

“I’m not bad,” she demurred.

Jin Ling, tired of waiting and quite hungry, shoved a piece of meat into his mouth and said, “You can’t possibly be as bad as my Uncle Wei was the first time I heard him. I don’t play an instrument, and even my ears hurt!”

“No talking while eating,” Lan WangJi admonished.

Jin Ling swallowed the bite. “We’re not in Cloud Recesses, Uncle. In Koi Tower it is perfectly acceptable to have conversations at the table,” he sassed.

Jiang Cheng hit the table with his fist. “No talking with food in your mouth!” he ordered.

Unexpectedly, Li MeiLi let out a giggle. And immediately clapped a hand over her mouth. Lan SiZhui smiled. “It’s quite all right to laugh. Look, my Baba is chuckling, and even Lan XiChen is smiling into his rice.”

“But…” Li MeiLi wasn’t sure how to get the words out.

“But you’re sitting with the five most powerful men in Koi Tower?” Lan SiZhui asked. 

When she nodded cautiously, Wei WuXian said, “Look at it this way. You’re sitting next to a Lan cultivator, right? And having dinner with his fathers, two uncles, and a cousin. I personally found my uncle to be far more intimidating than any Sect leader. You can always travel outside the Sect, but it’s a lot harder to escape your uncle!”

“Especially when they won’t return to their own homes for months on end…” Jin Ling mumbled around yet another mouthful of food. Jiang WanYin growled at the boy; Wei WuXian coughed to try to cover his laugh. Li MeilLi took a bite of her own food to cover up a smile. The younger boy might have the title of Sect leader, but he acted no differently than any other teenager his age…. This made her feel a little bit at ease. 

When dinner was over, Wei WuXian began an interrogation. Bowl of wine in one hand, the other frequently touching his husband, he fired question after question at Li MeiLi to determine her cultivation abilities. For her part, Li MeiLi decided to answer honestly and forthrightly, explaining what she knew, and freely admitting to what she didn’t. She knew she had almost no chance of becoming a true Wei disciple, but bragging about skills she did not possess or lying to cover up knowledge she didn’t possess was not the way to gain that desired status. Finally Wei WuXian placed the bowl on the table. “Li MeiLi, I would take you as a disciple if I could.” He grinned at Lan XiChen’s expression: a mixture of shock and denial. “But I can’t for one simple reason: I’m living in Cloud Recesses, and the Elders there would not appreciate having Wei disciples running around interfering with Lan business. I will need to find a place in Gusu where I can train you. Also, you need to be fluent at reading and writing. So... I will enroll you in a school in CaiYi Town in Gusu…. You’ll be close enough for lessons on a regular basis, but far enough away from Cloud Recesses that the Elders cannot get upset…. In a few months, we can discuss this again, and see if you want to become my disciple. Who knows, you may get a better offer….” 

Lan XiChen swallowed nervously. It was quite obvious that Wei WuXian was expecting him to make the ‘better offer’. He looked over at her profile. The curve of her neck... he wondered what it smelled like. What it would taste like. Did it feel as soft as it looked? Her unbound hair hid her ear; would she shiver if he whispered in it? Or sucked on it? The books said that ears were an erogenous part of the body…. Her fingers were long and slender; what would it feel like to have them touch his skin? He clenched his fists, hidden in his robes, in anger as Lan SiZhui offered to escort Li MeiLi back to her dorm. He wanted to shout that this was his responsibility…. 

Except she wasn’t. It wasn’t. She wasn’t his future. This was merely lust, and lust is fleeting. 


	15. Chapter 15

Jin Ling swallowed nervously for what seemed to be the hundredth time that minute. His throat was dry, his water pitcher was empty, and there were no servants nearby. Three hours of listening to the Sect and Clan leaders bargain over which son should marry which daughter made his head hurt. Or maybe it was thinking about what he was about to do that gave him the headache…. He was about to address the Sect and Clan leaders for the first time on a subject he knew they were not going to want to listen to. Even his uncles did not know of his intentions…. He looked over at Jiang WanYin; his uncle was talking quietly to a woman dressed in the purplish-blue of the Jiang senior disciples, but she was not one of them. He looked across the room at Lan SiZhui. _ZhuiGe, I don’t know exactly who she is to you, but…. What I say today is for you as much as for her._ He stood up and strode to the center of the main aisle, projecting as much as possible an image of confidence and knowledge and trying to downplay as much as possible his youthfulness and immaturity.

“Greetings, fellow Sect leaders and Clan leaders,” he saluted. As the room quieted down, he continued. “Fourteen years ago, many of you traveled to Koi Tower to celebrate my one month birthday. 

“Instead of celebrating, you mourned the death of my father, his cousin, and all those who died on Qiongqi Path. You rightfully thirsted for revenge, and so on this day fourteen years ago, you watched as the last of the Wen Clan was either burned at the stake or hanged. And yet the man who killed my father was not burned as you thought. He was hidden away from you by my grandfather and uncle. What’s more, the men actually responsible for all of those deaths at Qiongqi Path were not found and killed until a few months ago! 

“The ones hanged fourteen years ago today were innocent farmers and shopkeepers. Men and women who were too old to fight for their Clan. Their sole crime was having Wen as a surname! 

“As for their leaders…. Wen Qing was a healer who did not fight in the SunShot Campaign. A healer condemned to death for the crime of not daring to publicly oppose her uncle. How many of your wives and daughters and nieces would have made a different choice in her place? And Wei WuXian. Condemned to death with no proof. No proper trial. My grandfather and uncle wanted his Stygian Tiger Amulet, and they were willing to do whatever was necessary to obtain it. Including framing the man for deaths he did not cause and ambushing him as he peacefully traveled to my one month celebration.” The room was silent. Jin Ling was expecting someone to bluster some nonsense about trusting in the Jin leadership. But no one was able to make such a bold lie; no one other than Nie MingJue and Lan XiChen had ever really trusted Jin GuangYao. And no one had ever trusted Jin GuangShao.

He changed his tone to one less accusing. “Yesterday, many of you mourned the loss of my father and mother with me. This morning, I stood next to Wei WuXian and mourned the loss of his Wen clan friends.” He knelt down and prostrated himself towards his uncle sitting at the head table with Lan WangJi. He counted to ten slowly, then stood back up. “Wei WuXian. On behalf of the LanlingJin Sect, I offer my apologies for the injustices that occurred fourteen years ago this week. If there is anything I can do to make amends for any of the cruelty caused by my grandfather and uncle, please let me know. If it is within my power, I will make it happen.”

Wei WuXian had been slouching, idly drawing pictures on the table in front of him with his finger when Jin Ling began his speech. But he slowly straightened up as he realized what his nephew was doing. _You little idiot!_ This was _not_ the time to bring up the Wen! A quick look at his brother and brother-in-law showed they were as surprised as he was. “Ah, you’re not trying to kill me anymore, so…. That’s all I need for myself. I would appreciate it, though, if you’d stop hunting down my Ghost General.” He paused, thinking furiously. _Should I bring up a Wen pardon? No. They’ll think I’m too biased…. Later, you fool. Let us handle the Wen situation later…._

Jiang Cheng stood up and saluted his nephew. “I, too, apologize for my actions fourteen years ago. As an attempt at reparation, I now declare that YunMeng will be a safe haven for any Wen who survived the Purge.” He knew he was overreaching with this proclamation. The YunMengJiang Sect did not control too much land outside of Lotus Pier. To claim such sovereignty over the entire province was unheard of. “They may move to YunMeng and live freely and openly using their proper surname. And I will personally avenge any injustices committed on these lands to them.” With that last statement, he hoped to quash any of the hundreds of other YunMeng Sects from challenging his authority. He bowed towards his brother. He might have said more, but Lan XiChen stood up and saluted.

“I admit my mistakes fourteen years ago. I trusted in the wrong person and did not check to see if his truth was the actual truth. The Lan Sect will follow the Jiang. The Wen will be allowed to live freely and openly within Gusu.”

Jin Ling bowed to his Uncle Jiang. “The Jin will follow your leadership, Uncle, and the Wen are allowed to live within Lanling as well.” 

Nie HuaiSang stood up languidly fanning himself. “I was not involved in the decisions made by my brother. However, I will admit that he may have trusted unwisely. The Nie will follow along with the Jiang and Lan. The Wen may live as they will within QingHe.” He covered his smile with his fan. Whether or not Jiang Cheng intended this outcome, each of the four major Sects had now declared their supremacy over the other Sects in their provinces. Wei WuXian would no doubt lead his Yiling Sect into a prominent position. Assuming nothing happened to him beforehand.... Qishan was currently leaderless…. But a very interesting woman was seated with the Jiang Sect disciples… And her brother was quite formidable…. Would he abandon the Yiling Patriarch to defend his sister if she intended to reform the QishanWen Sect?

Lan Wangji stood up. “I agree that allowing the Wen to return to their normal lives should be allowed. During the SunShot Campaign, we executed Wen RuoHan and his sons and his generals. Everyone who was important in the atrocities committed by the Wen Sect is now dead. The only Wen that remain are farmers, shopkeepers, and household servants. They should not be killed for the ‘crime’ of having been born in Qishan. There may also be a few cultivators and soldiers in hiding. But they, too, should not be executed. Their crime was to follow the orders of their superiors. They did as many of us did seventeen years ago: we followed the orders of our superiors. 

“If you are in favor of allowing the Wen to live within our borders as Wen, please remain seated and quiet. If you are opposed, please stand so that we may listen to your reasons.” 

There were shuffling noises and muted conversations, but no one was eager to stand up to oppose these five men. Then one young man, only a few years older than Lan SiZhui, stood. “I was very young when the SunShot Campaign ended. The Wen attacked my Clan and decimated us. My mother and I and a handful of retainers and disciples were the only survivors of their attack on my lands. I am not opposed to leniency for the farmers and servants and the like. But I do have a concern. What if one of the generals survived? Should we not be able to execute him?”

Lan WangJi made his voice sound a bit colder. “You, of course, are able to capture that hypothetical general and bring him to us, relatively unharmed, for a proper trial.”

“Unharmed?”

“Yes. It is not proper to beat a man half to death to get him to confess to something he may not have done just so you can kill him. Treat him as an honored opponent. Treat him the way you would wish your sons to be treated in his place, and we can determine guilt or innocence as a group.”

There were a few more mutterings among the sect leaders, but no one else stood in opposition. Lan WangJi let the muted noise continue for a few moments before he spoke again. “Then we are unanimous. The Wen may return to living their lives under their rightful surnames without fear of reprisal. Is there any other business for today?” He waited a few breaths before he answered. “Good. We are adjourned for today.”

Lan XiChen turned to face his nephew and smiled. The boy could now use his birth surname if he wished. The poor boy was now legally heir to three sects: the Lan, the Wei, and the Wen. Lan SiZhui was smiling himself as he talked animatedly with Jin Ling. The younger boy was showing off his shaking hands while the older was complimenting his poise. 

“It’s good that today’s business was so short! We can get on with our discussion that much sooner!” Lan XiChen turned around to salute Jin LongWei, Jin ChangYing’s father. He managed to keep a serene look on his face, but inwardly he was damning the man’s impatience. He had hoped to talk to Jin ChangYing first to let her know to look elsewhere for a husband, but…. 

“Good afternoon, Master Jin,” he offered neutrally. 

“No need to be so formal, my dear son! Such a fine day! We should share a jar of wine and talk.”

“The Lan do not drink wine casually. I’m afraid I must decline your offer.”

“We can discuss the wedding over tea as well as wine. Your choice!” Jin LongWei threw his arm around Lan XiChen’s shoulder and tried to pull him out of the Hall. 

“Who is getting married?” he asked stupidly. _I made Jin ChangYing no promises. I made no offer!_

“You of course! My YingYing has said she’s willing to marry you, so….”

Lan XiChen pulled out of the older man’s grasp. “Your daughter said the same thing to me yesterday. I’m afraid, however, that I do not return the sentiment. Your daughter will make someone an excellent wife, but…. Her husband will not be me.”

Jin LongWei’s face turned dark with anger. “You! You! You ingrate!” he sputtered. “My YingYing has spent many years learning how to be the perfect wife for you! Not some other man. Just you! You’ve spent four days in her company and you reject her?”

“I made no promises to Jin ChangYing other than to be polite to her. The same promise I make to every woman. I spent parts of four days in her company, yes. Her good qualities are too numerous to list. She meets every requirement any Sect could want for in their leader’s wife. But I am not just a Sect leader, and I deserve to have requirements for myself that go above and beyond what my Sect wants for in my wife.”

“And what qualities does my YingYing not possess?” Jin LongWei demanded. 

“They are my personal reasons. And not something I can easily define.” _I don’t want to kiss her. I can’t imagine being in love with her. Or even being friends with her._ But to say that out loud would embarrass everyone. 

“How can you humiliate us like this?”

“How have I humiliated you?” Lan XiChen really did not understand this. “I spent a few hours with Jin ChangYing, exactly the same as many other men and women have done over the last week. Last night I came to the conclusion that she is not what I am looking for in a wife. I was going to speak to her today, privately and quietly, but you came here first, publicly insisting on discussing our marriage! 

“I would never ask anyone to dedicate years of their life training to be my wife without me first asking her to marry me! If she did indeed do that, it was all her own doing, not mine. I cannot be held responsible for her actions taken years before we made our acquaintance.” He gave a little half bow. “I’m sorry, but I must leave. I am supposed to meet with HanGuang-Jun to discuss some Lan matters.” He took a few steps backwards, called for Lan SiZhui to follow him, and left the Hall. 

Jin Ling hurried after the pair. “ZeWu-Jun,” he called out. “HanGuang-Jun went to Jin GuangYao’s room, the Blooming Garden.” And Lan XiChen’s inquiring look, he added, “There’s an old friend of Uncle Wei’s staying there.”

“Who?”

Jin Ling hesitated to name her. Even though she was officially pardoned, he wasn’t sure if she was considered in the farmer/servant category or general… “HanGuang-Jun said she was a fellow student of his that year when my parents studied at Cloud Recesses. It was believed that she died in a fire, but she escaped somehow.” Lan XiChen’s eyes blinked rapidly as he processed the clues. “Her brother attended Uncle Wei’s wedding,” he added helpfully. 

Lan XiChen’s eyes widened as he realized who this person was. “Really? She didn’t die in the fire?” Jin Ling nodded. “How?” Lan XiChen demanded.

Lan SiZhui tugged on his uncle’s sleeve. “Explanations can wait until we’re inside and away from prying eyes.”

“You knew about this, too?”

“Father and Baba swore us to secrecy, Uncle. I thought they would have told you…. But I guess there wasn’t time. A’Ling only found her two days ago….”

Lan XiChen looked over at the boys. “So that’s what started this Wen business this morning. I was wondering…. She needs to be protected, so you and Jiang WanYing concocted this whole thing up, didn’t you?” he accused Jin Ling.

“Honestly, I didn’t!” the boy protested. “I mean I knew we had to protect her somehow, but no one quite knew how to go about it. And then this morning I did pray with Uncle Wei for the dead Wen, and it just came to me that I should be the one to start it. I’m young enough that if I say something really offensive, my youth will excuse a part of it.” He stubbed his toe on the ground. “And Uncle Jiang can be counted on to punish me for it….” he added lamely. 

“All right. What’s done is done. Let’s go see what we can do with this situation.” Lan XiChen strode off to the Blooming Garden while the boys trailed behind him. His footsteps unconsciously slowed as he entered a courtyard where a group of young women wearing the black and red of the Wei disciples sat. His feet stayed on the path but his eyes were glued to a red ribbon sliding down the last few inches of long silky hair, leaving her hair unbound again. A woman sitting next to her pulled out a leather thong from her sleeve and handed it to Li MeiLi. She pulled her hair up high on her head, exposing the creamy skin on the nape of her neck, to tie the thong around a ponytail. His mouth dried at the thought of planting a kiss there in the hollow now exposed to everyone’s view. Would she shiver? Giggle? What would it feel like to rest his head in the curve of her neck, inhale the scent of her skin? He forced his eyes back onto the walkway before him, disgusted once again with his lustful thoughts. 

“Was that the woman from dinner last night?” Jin Ling asked as they left that courtyard.

“Li MeiLi?” Lan SiZhui asked. “It certainly looked like her.”

“I can’t believe Uncle Wei is taking her on as a disciple.”

“Why wouldn’t he? She seems more honest than most of the Wei disciples I’ve run into. And while her cultivation ability is low, that might be because she’s never been formally trained. And in temperament, she’s an awful lot like XianBaba….”

“But don’t you think he should accept powerful cultivators as disciples first?”

“No…” Lan SiZhui thought for a moment. “Think about how he taught us while we were in Coffin City. Would a powerful cultivator, who probably has a powerful attitude to go along with his abilities, want to be taught like that? The night hunts we’ve gone on since Baba came to live in Cloud Recesses were also a lot like that. Explorations and inquiry to reach a solution rather than giving us the answer. Someone who already thinks of himself as an excellent cultivator would not appreciate being taught by such tactics. Li MeilLi seems secure with what she knows, is curious to learn more, and she enjoys laughing.”

“That is exactly like my Uncle Wei….”

“Yes.”

The boys quieted down as they walked up the steps to the Blooming Garden. Jiang Cheng opened the doors, “Ah you’re here. Maybe you can talk some sense into her.” The three newcomers entered the room to see Lan WangJi apparently meditating in Lotus Position on the floor with Wei WuXian lying in front of him, head resting on his husband’s crossed legs. Jin Ling felt his face heating up at such an intimate scene. He had never met any other married couple so comfortable with being so close to each other in company. Wen Qing sat on a couch, hands twisting a piece of cloth and tear streaks on her face.

ZeWun-Jun saluted Wen Qing. “Good morning. I’m glad to see you survived the Purge.”

“Please forgive me for not standing, ZeWu-Jun,” Wen Qing pleaded. “I’m feeling much better than I was, but I am still quite weak.”

“Of course! Stay where you are comfortable.” He quietly observed the yellowing bruise on her forehead, and the one blending from purple to green on her cheek. They hadn’t been visible in the Hall earlier; someone must have covered them up with cosmetics. “I regret....”

“No,” Wen Qing interrupted. “Fourteen years ago, we made a decision. We decided our fates. Not you.” She looked over at Wei WuXian who was clenching his jaw. “We talked it over. We could have left the Burial Mounds and hidden in another place. Or kept walking until we were out of the reach of the Sects. My people…. We were tired of being hunted. Of fighting to live in that place. So we gave A’Yuan food for a few days and told him to hide until his XianGege arose so they could escape together.” Tears started crawling down her face as she turned to look at A’Yuan. “It was our choice to go to Lanling to die. And our wishes and dreams for you two to live in peace together.”

“Are you ZhuiGe’s mother?” Jin Ling blurted out. 

Wen Qing laughed sadly. “I often wished I was his mother… He is the closest I have to a son, but no. A’Yuan is my cousin’s son.” Jin Ling felt inexplicably sad at this announcement. He had quite liked the idea that they were cousins by blood rather than adoption. 

There was a knock at the door and a voice called out, “ZeWu-Jun? Are you in there?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> According to that website I’m using, LongWei means dragon greatness


	16. Chapter 16

Jiang Cheng opened the door again to let Li MeiLi in. “I… I’m sorry. I’m intruding,” she whispered apologetically upon seeing everyone in the room. 

“It’s fine,” Jiang Cheng sighed, waving her into the room. “Actually... another woman might be helpful.” He pointedly looked at Wen Qing, who blushed. “Li MeiLi, Wen Qing.” The two women saluted each other.

Li MeiLi sidled up next to HanGuang-Jun. “Wen Qing?” she asked him in a loud whisper. “ _The_ Wen Qing who was executed fourteen years ago?”

Wei WuXian called up from the floor, “Yes, _the_ Wen Qing, but not executed. Jin GuangYao hid her away and had her caretaker drug her for the past fourteen years.”

Jiang Cheng growled. “Can we get back to the topic we were on before everyone barged in here? Why won’t you say you’ll marry me?”

Wen Qing flinched. “I didn’t say I wouldn’t marry you. I said I wanted to go home first!”

“Marry me. Now. Tonight. Tomorrow. Soon. And then we can go home together.”

“Lotus Pier is not my home!”

“It will be once we’re married!”

Wei WuXian sat up. “I can take you to the Burial Mounds, but… everything was destroyed there, too.” 

Behind him, Lan WangJi dismissed that idea with a curt, “No.”

“I told you.” Wen Qing spoke over Lan WangJi. “Not the Burial Mounds. Not Dafan Mountain. I want to go to _my home._ ”

Jin Ling blurted out, “Oh! Now it makes sense.” And blushed as all eyes turned to him. “It’s just that when I returned to Koi Tower from YunPing, the treasurer asked about a monthly payment for ‘the orchid’s wife’. He showed me records of payments going back years, first authorized by my grandfather and then my uncle. I thought ‘the orchid’s wife’ was either a mistress or a caretaker for yet another bastard child. I stopped the payments…. I figured that if it was a mistress, she would find a new protector once the money stopped coming. Or if it was a bastard, the child would come claiming a position within the family soon enough. I never expected ‘the orchid’ was my Uncle Jiang!”

Wei WuXian burst out laughing. “That bastard Yao did have a flair for the dramatic. Orchid’s wife indeed. Lotus’s wife would be too obvious. QingJiejie, you had better marry my brother before he goes as crazy as Meng Yao was!”

“Please... just take me home!” Wen Qing begged. “Every home I have ever had has been destroyed. Just let me go back to Yiling for a few days. Then I promise I will go to Lotus Pier with you, Jiang Cheng. And I will marry you.”

Jiang Cheng ground his teeth in frustration. “But the Yiling Supervisory Office was razed years ago. There’s nothing left of the manor. Nothing.”

Li MeiLi felt reluctant to speak up in such august company, but she had never claimed to be shy. “I don’t know of any Supervisory Office, but I do know of a burned down manor in Yiling…. A few of the older Wei disciples turned it into a sort of a training area for us when they got tired of traveling around. There are some dorms for students to sleep, and some pavilions for eating and learning. That’s where I learned to read and write, actually.” She looked at her Master. “I could draw you a map of where it is, if that would help.”

Lan WangJi, without opening his eyes, pulled his unresisting husband into his lap and wrapped his arms around his lover. _This is all happening too fast._ There was no doubt in his mind that the Wei disciples had made Wen Qing’s former home into their training grounds. But even if there were two different burned out manors in Yiling, the fact remained that the Yiling Patriarch now had a functioning spiritual training ground. Thanks to Lan XiChen’s and his machinations at the opening banquet, the YilingWei Sect was established. And Wei Ying had chosen his first true disciple. 

_Once Wei Ying realizes that he has everything ready to build his own Sect, will he still need me?_ Perhaps it was a foolish concern. He was certain Wei Ying loved him, and would not willingly leave him behind. But love and need were not the same thing. And even ‘needs’ were not always the same thing.

While Wei Ying needed to be loved, he also needed to be needed. The happiest days of his life had been when he lived at the Burial Mounds with the Wen. They had needed him as no one had ever needed him before. And since his resurrection, he had smiled the most when teaching the juniors… when they looked to him for guidance and protection. When they needed him.

Lan Zhan needed Wei Ying the way one needs air and water. But that wasn’t the “need” Wei Ying craved. 

That Yiling place would have no proper defences yet, no walls, no barrier spells. Not even sufficient numbers of properly trained fighters. With Wei Ying as weak as he still was, and the inevitable fight that would ensue once the other Sects realized ‘Yiling Patriarch’ was not an empty title anymore…. Security and safety lay behind the walls of Cloud Recesses. However, Wei WuXian would have no trouble abandoning that, as XiChen put it, ‘restrictive environment’ as fast as his legs would allow. Lan Zhan was willing to give up everything he had to be with his love, but…. Was a few years of being together, just the two of them, too much to ask for? His one wish for twenty years was for Wei Ying to love him back, and now that he had that, was he being too selfish? Even to want just a single year to be the most important thing in Wei Ying’s life? That’s all he asked for, now. _Please, Wei Ying._ he begged. _Let me have you to myself for this first year, and then I will share you. I promise._ Lan Zhan dropped his head onto Wei Ying’s shoulder. Mouth partially hidden by the cloth there, he gave a not so gentle bite. _I need you._ Wei Ying smiled and snuggled back into his husband’s embrace. He fully understood that message if not the full reason behind it. 

Jin Ling pretended to gag at the obvious display of affection. “Do you have to do that in public?” he whined. 

Wei WuXian twisted around to place a chaste kiss on Lan Zhan’s mouth. “Jin Ling,” he tsked. “We’ve been married for only a few weeks. Just wait until you’re newly married to someone you love…” The smile faded from his face as he digested his own words. Yes, they had only been married for a few weeks. And most of every day was spent in public with Lan WangJi performing his official duties. The last two nights had been spent watching over Wen Qing; the time spent with just the two of them was limited. And with the responsibility of training a new disciple... even for the few weeks or months until Li MeiLi and Lan XiChen gave up the pretense they weren’t falling in love with each other, plus the time to retrain his body with it’s new core, plus all the other responsibilities they had waiting for them back in Cloud Recesses... time to just be alone with Lan Zhan would be even more limited than it already was. _I need you, too._

“Have you completed everything you need to do here?” Wei Ying asked Lan Zhan. Receiving an mmph as a yes, he looked at his brother. “Jiang Cheng, I advise you to take QingJie to Yiling for a few days, then take her to get wedding clothes made. Send me a note of when the wedding will be. But give us a few weeks first, huh? A month?”

“Why?” Jiang Cheng demanded. “Where are you going?”

“We’re going on a wedding trip. Just the two of us. ZeWu-Jun, please bring Li MeiLi back to Gusu when you return. Enroll her in a class to improve her reading and writing, please. 

“Li MeiLi… Learn everything you can. We’ll start your formal training when I get back to Cloud Recesses.” Wei Ying stood up, and held out a hand for his husband. “Let’s go?”

* * *

Nie HuaiSang sat at the desk in his room and fanned himself idly. Reports from his Lanling spies were scattered around its surface. The vast majority of those reports contained nothing threatening... yet. That mess with the YilingWei Sect, though…. To set up a Sect was nothing. Even if the founders were powerful cultivators, it meant nothing. There were hundreds of powerful cultivators (although not as strong as Lan WangJi and We WuXian were) and hundreds more tiny Sects and Clans. The YilingWei Sect with only two people in it, regardless of Lan XiChen’s political maneuvers, should be no more than a bump, a slight hindrance. Nothing to worry about. So why was he bothered by it? 

He picked up one report he had especially commissioned a few days ago based on a report he vaguely remembered from a few years ago. He quickly scanned the document again to make sure what he remembered was correct. The Wei Disciples (well, the few that banded together to form a more cohesive group than the typical loners who walked around in black and red) called their so-called training facility in Yiling ‘the Demon’s Lair’, no doubt after that silly cave name back in the Burial Mounds. Over the past year, they had expanded the facilities and now there were dorms for almost four hundred of these so-called disciples, plus proper homes for the teachers and caretakers. They were in the process of building walls around the Demon’s Lair, as if this was going to become a true cultivation ground, and not just some temporary camp while they waited for their Yiling Patriarch to return. 

He picked up another report, this one came from within Koi Tower: a pretend Wei Disciple was seen entering Jiang Cheng’s rooms in the presence of Wei WuXian. And it was rumored that he had accepted her as his first real disciple. But it was also reported that this woman was the reason Lan XiChen had publicly announced he was not marrying Jin ChangYing. However, the spy was unsure if the woman was going to become his wife or concubine: usually a Sect leader would not kiss his future wife in public.... However, the Lan frowned on the idea of men taking concubines…. Was there going to be a fight for the girl’s attention? By all accounts, her cultivation ability was poor, her looks mediocre, and her manners brash…. She didn’t appear to have any attributes that would attract a cultivator of Wei WuXian’s ability or Lan XiChen’s interest…. 

The YilingWei Sect with two people was no threat. Even adding in a girl disciple who may or may not be joining Lan XiChen in his bed did not increase the threat level. But… a fully functional spiritual training facility and four hundred disciples…. With hundreds more wandering around outside the Demon’s Lair…. 

Add to that the Wen woman returning…. How had he missed not knowing she was alive? Did she escape all those years ago? But, no…. The Jin had burned two bodies that they claimed were the Wen siblings. Jin GuangYao had hidden the brother away, so he must have hidden the sister as well. Given her placement in the conference earlier, it was obvious that Jiang WanYin was going to protect her. And, of course, Wei WuXian would as well. Which, given his marriage to Lan WangJi, probably meant that the GusuLan Sect would fall in line behind Wei WuXian. And given that it was Jin Ling who led the act to pardon the Wen, Jin Ling was going to follow his uncles. So. Three major sects protecting Wen Qing. 

Were they simply protecting the woman? Or working towards setting her up as a new Wen Sect leader?

Wei WuXian. _A phoenix rises from the ashes again and again…_ Wen Qing. _No matter how dark the night is, the sun always rises in the morning._ These two probable Sect leaders gaining prominence altered the fragile balance of power among the major Sects significantly. He admired the cherry tree adorning his fan. _Perhaps it’s time to light a small fire and see what emerges from the darkness…._

* * *

Lan XiChen and Li MeilLi sat in a gazebo; he wasn’t ready to leave her just yet. He felt so awkward; how do men have normal conversations with the women they lust over? “You really cannot cultivate with your flute?” he finally asked to break the silence.

“Nope!” Li MeiLi laughed. “I’ve never been taught.”

“Or had sword training?”

“ZeWu-Jun, I don’t have the money to buy a spiritual sword,” she reminded him gently.

“Would you like to learn?” At her eager nod, he handed over his unsheathed sword. “This is Shuoyue.” She felt more than slightly silly; she couldn’t even lift the blade from the ground. He smiled, “Don’t worry about it being heavy. May I hold your hand? It will help if I can touch you while we do this. It’s easier for me to see what you’re doing.” Technically, that was the truth; it was easier to ‘see’ students’ manipulating spiritual energy by touching them. However, Lan XiChen was an experienced teacher, and she had no built up defenses; he could ‘see’ everything she did with or without holding hands. He just wanted an excuse to touch her…. Her hand in his was so soft; he was almost afraid his calloused fingers were too rough…. “You’re going to connect your golden core to the sword. Some students like to imagine they have a golden rope tying them to the object. You need a strong tether….” He ‘watched’ as she sent out a tendril of spiritual energy to wrap around Shuoye’s handle. “Yes, like that, but stronger. Shuoye is heavy for you…..” The cord became thicker. “Now try to lift it.” Li MeiLi tried and failed, laughing sheepishly. “Not with your arm…” he admonished. “Lift with your spiritual energy and let your hand be the guide.” This time the sword lifted with ease. 

“Oh!” Li MeiLi gasped at the now almost weightless sword in her hand. She waggled it around. “Lan XiChen… I feel like Shuoye’s almost talking to me. Like there’s a noise in my head that wasn’t there before.”

“Spiritual swords are almost sentient. The more you practice with one, the more they learn about you as well as you learning about them. At first, you will need to physically touch your sword, but after lots of practice, you will be able to direct it only through your energy link and your mind. Cultivators can ‘hear’ their own swords, but usually we can’t hear other’s…. Perhaps Shuoye is trying to learn about you.”

“So once I get my own sword, I’ll be able to tell it to go kill some creature on a night hunt and it will do it for me?”

“The process is both more complicated and simpler than that. You can’t _tell_ your sword anything; it doesn’t understand language. But it does follow your commands, so it's more of a deeper understanding. I can’t show you right now, but once you have your own sword, you will learn.”

“Oh….” Li MeiLi had heard and ignored Lan XiChen’s comment about his sword trying to learn about her. She sighed, conflicted. On the one hand, she felt such an attraction to the man. And it seemed he was attracted right back. So was his sword trying to learn about her just another part of that attraction? 

She had never kissed anyone like that. Ever. The few kisses she had participated in before had been quite chaste, actually. Dry swipes of two sets of lips lasting barely a second given by the man her parents wanted her to marry. Those kisses had been more forgettable than distasteful…. They certainly didn’t invade her daydreams the way Lan XiChen’s did. Those stupid daydreams that involved wedding dresses, children with her eyes and his mouth, and storybook style happily-ever-afters.

On the other hand was reality. She knew exactly the kind of woman he was expected to marry: beautiful, quiet, artistic, learned, connected. Basically everything that Li MeiLi was not. She looked down at their joined hands, and wished that they could stay like this forever.

That song... . She was so certain it was about them. She felt it deep in her soul: this was the man she had loved in a previous life and gave up to fulfill her family obligations. The words ‘I love you’ were stuck in her chest. She had never been in love, and knew so little about this man other than what was public knowledge…. But… 

“I cannot stop thinking about this _thing_ between us,” he said quietly. He took Shuoye from her and sheathed it. “I apologize… I don’t want to burden you with my feelings, since yours are clear.”

“There can be nothing between us except for courtesy.” she answered quietly. “It is useless for either of us to wish that you are not who you are and that I am not who I am. And that there is any way we could become more than… polite strangers.” She curled the hand he had held into a fist, preserving the last bit of warmth and sensation. “Your duty is clear. As is mine.”

“And if I want to choose to please myself?” He laughed humorlessly. “Both my father and WangJi married against the Elders’ wishes. My uncle did not marry, which was also against the Elder’s wishes. Why must I be the one to fall in line and marry for the good of the Sect?”

“ZeWu-Jun….”

“Lan Huan.” At her questioning look he added, “My birth name. I would like it if you called me Huan… at least when we’re alone like this.”

“ZeWu-Jun… I cannot be so informal with you. When the conference is over, I will go to Yiling to continue my studies. Please let Master Wei know where I am when you see him.”

“He wanted you to go to Gusu.”

“I… I cannot. I cannot travel with you.”

“Why not?”

“Because this hurts me, too.” she whispered. “Because I, too, wish for a future that can never be. So it’s better to say our good-byes now.” And with that, she stood up and saluted him. “Goodbye, ZeWu-Jun.” She walked away, forcing herself to walk and not run, forcing herself to stand tall and not slouch…. Forcing the tears away. 

She walked for a long time, aimlessly. She passed by many pretty women in their pastel robes and umbrellas shielding their jade-like skin from the sun. Their voices were light and airy, their laughter delicate and sweet, and their smiles and giggles hidden behind palms. Their hair was pulled back or up into elegant styles with loops and braids and beautiful ornaments sparkling with jewels. Li MeiLi did not need a mirror to know that she lacked even the most basic beauty elements that these women showed off so effortlessly and flawlessly. 

One particularly beautiful woman in the Jin gold was blushing prettily as she accepted compliments from the women seated around her. “I’m not worried,” she insisted in a sugary sweet voice, then her face firmed as she looked up and saw Li MeiLi. Raising her voice, she added, “You won’t win, Wei disciple. I’ve been the front runner since the beginning of this race for his affections. I’ve been learning how to be the perfect wife to ZeWu-Jun for years. That he kissed you in public shows all he feels for you is lust. Men don’t treat the women they marry like that.” Li MeiLi’s face and neck turned scarlet at the realization that their indiscretion was observed. “You should stay far away from men who think so little of you,” Jin ChangYing continued. 

Li MeiLi continued walking, forcing her head to remain high, but she couldn’t help but snap back, “It’s not a race when _you_ are the only one running after him. I’m not sure which is more humiliating: being kissed within an inch of my life in public or being publicly rejected. At least the kissing part was satisfying.” Left unsaid was an insult: _I don’t imagine being rejected was._


	17. Chapter 17

Wei Ying slid the door to their room shut. “Lan Zhan,” he admonished. “I know you well enough to know the difference between you not talking because you have nothing important to say and you not talking when there’s something that needs to be said.” Lan Zhan’s jaw clenched, but his eyes remained firmly fixed on the floor. “Talk to me,” Wei Ying implored. “Whatever it is, I’ll fix it. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to do it.”

“I miscalculated,” Lan Zhan finally admitted. 

“What?” Wei Ying was thoroughly confused. “I thought you were mad at me for ignoring you the last few days….”

“Before we married, I talked to Brother. I asked him for advice on how to make the other Sect leaders take you seriously. It was his idea to have you introduced right before me at the banquet. His idea to reveal the phoenixes on our robes. And once you had my mother’s core, he suggested goading someone into someone challenging you to a fight to prove you had a core, to stop the rumors that you gave yours to Jiang Cheng. I agreed. I thought it would protect you.”

“That was all planned.”

“More or less, yes.”

“What was the end goal?” Wei Ying asked flatly.

“XiChen said you would establish the YilingWei Sect sooner or later, so….”

“So you two decided to announce it for me?” Wei Ying stumbled to their bed and sank onto it holding his head in his hands. “Shit, Lan Zhan.” _If they hated me before for protecting the Wen Clan, how much worse will it be for establishing my own sect and proclaiming it the most powerful? They hated the Wen not only for their arrogance and bullying, but for trying to be overlords of all the cultivation clans. They hated Jin GuangShao and Jin GuangYao for the same reason. I wasn’t even trying to proclaim myself anything, and now here I am…. Grandmaster of a huge Sect; there must be more than a thousand of my pretend disciples wandering around. And with me still cultivating resentful energy…. Add Wen Qing returning from the dead…. They’re going to want me dead. Again._

“Yes.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I thought you knew!”

Wei Ying looked up through his fingers at his husband. “Do you think I would have taken Li MeiLi on as a disciple if I had known you established the YilingWei Sect for me?”

“That’s when I realized you didn’t know….”  
  
“And now there’s that training ground? Lan Zhan… we can’t go on a wedding trip any more….” He flopped onto his back. “How many do you think have figured it out?”

“Not many. I don’t think Jiang Cheng has. Nie HuaiSang might have…. I saw him looking at us with a calculating expression during the banquet.” 

“Shit.” Wei Ying sighed. “If Nie HuaiSang knows…. How much of what he did to Jin GuangYao was revenge for his brother? And how much was to keep the Nie relevant after Nie MingJue’s death? He’s probably going to work against us, you know. We need to do some damage control before he gets everyone worked up….”

“I’m sorry, Wei Ying.” Lan Zhan thought about kneeling to his husband. 

“It’s fine,” Wei Ying was thinking furiously. The Nie Clan was not gaining new disciples at the rate needed to keep its numbers up. In a few years at most, one of the smaller clans would overtake the Nie in terms of people and power and Nie HuaiSang would find himself demoted to the Sect leader of a lesser Sect. So it was safe to assume that Nie HuaiSang was fighting to keep the Nie Clan in its precarious position within the major Sects…. He would get to everyone who had previously been against the Yiling Patriarch. It wouldn’t take much to reanimate their hostility…. 

There were representatives of at least fifteen decent sized Sects at the Burial Mounds this last time, perhaps another twenty of the smaller Clans…. However... a few of those had had juniors captured and tied up in the cave…. “Lan Zhan? I’m going to need some monsters.” At Lan Zhan’s puzzled ‘ok’, Wei Ying added, “I have a good rapport with the juniors. We can’t take them night hunting during the conference. But I can hold classes and show them how to recognize and defeat the various creatures they’ll meet in the future. Send some people out to collect some of the more reclusive ones and bring them back alive. A’Yuan and A’Ling can spread the word among the juniors about the classes.”

“You think you can restrain the adults by teaching the children?”

“Not entirely. But the juniors have defied their parents for me before…. If I keep on the children’s good side, hopefully they’ll counteract some of the poison. Oh, and send someone to find that training camp; I need to know exactly what is going on.” Lan Zhan nodded. Wei Ying stood up and grabbed Suibian. “In the meantime, I’m going to find Jiang Cheng for some practice. If it comes down to a fight, I can’t rely on my resentful energy cultivation anymore.”

“Wei Ying… please don’t leave me.”

“It’s just for a few hours. I’ll see you at dinner.”

“Wei Ying….” 

Now the younger man could hear the anguish in the other’s voice. “Lan Zhan… Don’t be silly. I love you. I promised to walk beside you for the rest of my life. I would rather cut out my own heart than live without you at my side.” He dropped Suibian on the floor, and went to kiss his husband. “Do you want me to disavow those Wei disciples in Yiling? I will. I will swear my allegiance to the GusuLan tonight in front of everyone if you want. I will wear the Lan blue for the rest of my life. Just tell me.”

“If you do that, you will not be happy,” Lan Zhan whispered. 

“You are my happiness.” Wei Ying leaned in for another kiss. “You are all I need. Just you,” he insisted. 

“I need you,” Lan Zhan growled. Within moments, a naked Wei Ying was lying on his back, legs spread, while an equally naked Lan Zhan slid two oil-slick fingers in and out. Lan Zhan kissed and bit his way down Wei Ying’s torso, careful to only leave marks on skin that would be normally covered by clothing. He licked every muscled ridge on Wei Ying’s abdomen, and then turned his attention to the throbbing, leaking appendage so near to his face.

In their month plus of living together, neither of them had used their mouths to pleasure the other. They had fully explored each other’s bodies with their eyes and hands, and had even had their faces close enough to the other’s groin to get semen smeared on their faces and smell a slight yeast-like aroma, but neither had taken that last step.... Lan Zhan added a third finger into Wei Yin’s hole, and licked the tip of his shaft. Wei Ying stopped breathing for a moment, his whole body tense, fists clenching even tighter in the sheets. Lan Zhan engulfed the head in his mouth and bobbed up and down, trying to match his head movements with the motions of his fingers. After barely a minute, Wei Ying painfully unentangled one fist from the bed sheet and shoved several fingers in his mouth trying to stifle his moans and cries of pleasure. His hips were now pumping wildly, trying to plunge further into Lan Zhan’s mouth. After a few more minutes of being pleasured inside and out, Wei Ying started crying through his fist. “Lan Zhan… stop... I’m so close… I’m going to… stop… stop or I’m… I’m going to….” Lan Zhan ignored the order to stop, and soon had his mouth full of a thick, salty liquid. Uncertain of what to do with it, he looked up at his lover. It didn’t taste all that great; he wasn’t sure he wanted it in his stomach. But the erotica all showed lovers swallowing it…. “Spit it out,” Wei Ying called out weakly. Instead, Lan Zhan swallowed, gagged on the viscosity, and swallowed again. “What’s it taste like?”

Lan Zhan forcefully swallowed a few more times, trying to clear the taste from his mouth. “It’s saltier than the food in Cloud Recesses.” He rotated his jaw a bit, trying to work out some of the soreness.

Wei Ying laughed weakly, “Everything is saltier than the food in Cloud Recesses.” 

Lan Zhan removed his fingers and moved up to lay next to his exhausted lover. “Did you enjoy it?”

“Of course I did….” Wei Ying smiled and flopped his nearly boneless body over to snuggle up against his husband. “The more important question is, did you?”

“I would do it again.”

“Even though it tastes bad?”

Lan Zhan pressed a lingering kiss against Wei Ying’s pliant mouth. “It’s not bad… just.... different.” He rolled them so that Wei Ying was once again on his back with his legs spread. Lan Zhan drove himself into his lover’s body, and groaned at the sensation. With each powerful thrust propelling himself towards the peak, he admitted, “I love watching you fly off to the heavens. I love knowing that I’m the one who brought you there. I love knowing that I’m the only one who has ever been inside your body, made you feel like this….” And after he released into Wei Ying’s body and shuddered in pleasure, he made a final statement into Wei Ying’s sweat-sticky neck: “And I love that you’re the only one who has ever made me feel like this.”

Lan Zhan shifted over to collapse next to his husband’s body, and laid his head on the brand on Wei Ying’s chest. _Don’t leave me, please don’t leave me_ echoed in his brain. 

Wei Ying hugged Lan Zhan tight. “Should we go on as you started then? Should I become the Yiling Patriarch for real? Or should we stay in Cloud Recesses?” He closed his eyes in pain as Lan Zhan remained silent. _Lan Zhan, please help me,_ he begged silently. _I don’t want to make this decision on my own and have you resent my choice. I can be happy in either place as long as I’m with you, but to create our own Sect? That is the dream of most cultivators, isn’t it?_ He sighed deeply. _I won’t be happy if you’re not._ “I loved flying kites as a child. I loved watching them fly free upon the wind…. Even when the strings broke and they flew off completely free of all restraints. A few times for my birthday, Shijie made me monstrous looking dragon kites with lots of tails streaming.... They looked like they were dancing up there in the air. 

“When I was young and lived in Lotus Pier, I sometimes felt like I was a kite used in archery practice: flying high until someone’s arrow pierced through me. Then they would patch me up and let me go only to shoot me down again. In the Burial Mounds, I was a kite untethered by any string. Free to float along the breeze, but no control over where I would go or when I would land…. I don’t want to be those kites, Lan Zhan. Not anymore…. With you… held tightly in your grasp, I can fly as free and high as any bird because I know you are there to pull me back down to earth safely.”

“What if I’m not ready to let you fly free?” _What if I let your string out and you don’t return to me? The tether holding us together is so fragile…._

“Then it’s settled. We’ll go back to Cloud Recesses.”

Lan Zhan rolled onto his side, head held up by his palm. “But that’s not what you want.”

“I want you, Lan Zhan.” Wei Ying insisted. “I wasn’t born to be a Clan leader, so not becoming one changes nothing. Yes, the Lan rules are oppressive to me, but it’s not like living in Cloud Recesses means I can never leave again. I like teaching, so I’ll continue working with the young ones and going on night hunts with the juniors. I can even build a workshop outside of Cloud Recesses near Wen Ning’s house to work on my projects if the Lan Elders get upset with my research topics. We can build a pond behind the Jingshi and plant lotus seeds there. We’ll drink Emperor’s Smile in CaiYi Town, and you can take advantage of me when I get drunk. I’ll definitely take advantage of you when you’re drunk…. We’ll visit my brother and nephew. And hopefully in a year or so, we’ll find a little one to adopt….” He smiled wistfully. “I think I’d like a little girl this time…. But if you want another boy, that’s fine, too.”

“We can adopt a brother and sister if you’d like…. How little do you want them to be? Infants? Toddlers?”

Wei Ying laughed. “I don’t think I’m capable of taking care of an infant…. Old enough that they can walk and talk and go to the latrine at least mostly on their own….”

The two men stayed silent for a few minutes lost in their own thoughts. Wei Ying shifted so that he was wrapped around his husband. _Living in Gusu won’t be so bad…. I’ll have Lan Zhan and eventually our little ones…. That’s all I really need._

Lan Zhan, for his part, was much more conflicted than his husband. Yes, Wei Ying could be happy in Cloud Recesses. For how long? How long before he started to question if putting his wants aside for Lan Zhan’s was the right choice? How long before he regretted denying himself the opportunity to be the master of the Yiling Sect? How long before he resented making that choice? _I won’t be happy if you’re not._ Everything that Wei Ying wanted was waiting for them in Yiling. Everything that Lan Zhan wanted was currently in his arms. _As long as we’re together._ “A’Xian… we can’t ignore the Yiling situation forever.”

Wie Ying sighed. “No. But in a few years the people there will realize that I know about them and haven’t come to take over. That I’ve deliberately left them to their own devices. They’ll fight it out for a while, and eventually they will call themselves the Yiling-something-else Sect or they’ll disband.” 

“It will be better for our children to grow up in the YilingWei Sect than in the GusuLan. You will want them to be able to run and play and make noise, won’t you? All those things you want to do, we can do them in Yiling.”

Wei Ying rolled onto his side to better face his husband. “Why are you arguing for Yiling when that is not what you want? If we go to Yiling now… there’s no turning back. We can always form a Clan later if we want…. It doesn't have to be in Yiling, or even with my pretend disciples.”

“What do you want?” Lan asked quietly. “If this was four months ago, and you found out about the Yiling training facility…. What would you do?”

“I would become the Yiling Patriarch,” Wei Ying replied easily. “But this is not four months ago, and you are far more important than they are. I can be happy in Cloud Recesses with you and our little ones.”

“Then it’s settled.” Lan Zhan echoed his husband’s earlier words. “We will go to Yiling. You will fly free to be who you were born to be. And I will be your tether preventing you from flying too far, and I will save you and repair you when you crash.”

* * *

Jiang Cheng led the way onto the field. “I’m looking forward to beating you,” he laughed. 

“Don’t worry, I’ll get back to my old self soon. So enjoy this while you can!” Wei WuXian laughed back, attacking. 

After a few minutes, Jiang Cheng, shook his head and pushed his brother back. “Your footwork is shoddy. I should just put you through basic forms instead of sparring with you.”

“I haven’t used Suibian like this since I was seventeen. I think I’m entitled to be a bit rusty.” But he did as his Shidi suggested, moving into the sword forms drilled into him as a child. 

Jiang Cheng looked around to make sure they were alone. “How did you get it anyways.” Wei WuXian cocked his head in question, but kept counting under his breath as he repeated the forms over and over. “You know.... _that_. Where did you get a new one?”

“I told you on my wedding day that WangJi’s mother had a gift for me.”

“You took it from a corpse?” Jiang Cheng hissed.

“Not ‘took’, exactly. She gave it. It’s not like she needs it anymore….”

“Lan QiRen was there, too, right? How was he OK with such blatant use of dark magic?”

“It’s not dark magic, it’s… gray.” Actually, Jiang Cheng was right; this was extremely dark magic. Wei WuXian had lied to everyone. The book he found in the Forbidden Section on how to remove Golden Cores from the dead was _not_ the one he altered, copied, and showed to Lan Zhan. The original was now hidden away and wrapped in multiple layers of protection spells that only he knew how to undo. Because, while the book he presented to Lan Zhan _did_ state that the dead’s permission was required, it actually wasn’t. Any cultivator with even the slightest control over resentful energy could steal the cores from dead cultivators’ bodies to give to anyone without one. Wei WuXian had no trouble envisioning what a madman like Wen RuoHan would have done with this knowledge: every cultivator his men killed would have unwillingly contributed a Golden Core to a common Wen soldier…. Wei WuXian had no idea what the Lan were doing with a book containing such dark magic, but he was rather glad that he was the one who found it and not Jin GuangYao…. He shuddered to think of how that man would have used this information…. Jin GuangYao, after all, had been quite ruthlessly sane….

Wei WuXian continued drilling, and Jiang Cheng corrected his posture and technique, treating him as if he were a novice again. By the end of the third hour, Wei WuXian was exhausted and dripping sweat. But even as tired as he was, he could tell he had regained some of his abilities from before. His Core was burning stronger within him. The connection between his mind and Suibian was almost as complete as it was at seventeen. And his feet were steadier underneath him. He wasn’t yet able to beat Jiang Cheng, but at least he wouldn’t make an utter fool of himself anymore. 

Wei WuXian collapsed on the grass, unwrapped a wrist guard, and used that to wipe the sweat from his face and neck. “Shidi, do you still want to kill me?”

“Not at the moment, why?”

“I just have the feeling a lot of people are going to want me dead again soon, and I really wanted to know which side you were on….”

Jiang Cheng sat down next to his brother. “What did you do this time?”

“This one wasn’t me! Honest!” Wei WuXian protested. “You sent over some clothing for me to Cloud Recesses a while back?”

“Yes. What does that have to do with anything?”

“Well, the clothing came with a command: I was to wear the Jiang purple and prostrate myself before you at the banquet last week begging for re-admittance into the YunMengJiang Sect.”

Jiang Cheng laughed. “Whoever thought you would prostrate before me was an idiot! You might have demanded to rejoin YunMengJiang, perhaps… but beg? You?”

“Yes, well…” Wei WuXian coughed and colored, feeling slightly embarrassed and more than slightly aroused at the memory of what happened after he put the clothing away. “Lan WangJi apparently wanted to make sure I was seen as the Yiling Patriarch and not a disgraced former YunMengJiang disciple, so he and ZeWu-Jun….”

“What did they do?” Jiang Cheng demanded when Wei WuXian stayed silent.

“Announcing me at the banquet, as the Yiling Patriarch, right before Lan WangJi was their plan, not an accident.” Jiang Cheng’s eyes narrowed in anger. “The fight… Nie HuaiSang instigated it all on his own, but Lan XiChen would have found a way to make it happen anyway….”

“The Yiling Patriarch, claiming the position of the most powerful Clan leader, has to have a Core.” Jiang Cheng stated flatly. 

“Yes.”

“The phoenix on your robes.” Jiang Cheng thought for a few minutes. “So you and Lan WangJi are officially your own clan now as well as cultivation partners.”

“That was the intention.”

“So… I can see why people will want you dead. You and HanGuang-Jun forming a Clan is not important, really, but placing yourself highest….”

“Well… that’s not actually the most pressing reason why they will want me dead…. I don’t think…. Everyone thinks I have delusions of grandeur, and they know how strong I am no matter which cultivation path I’m using. That training ground of Li MeiLi’s, though…. In Yiling. That’s going to be the final nail in my coffin.”

Jiang Cheng looked over at his older brother. “How many disciples are there?”

“I don’t know. Thirty? A hundred? Five hundred? I’ve seen several hundred Wei disciples here in Lanling in the last week. The other Sect leaders don’t seem to take the Wei disciples seriously because I never claimed them. But now that I’ve accepted Li MeiLi, and there’s that training ground in Yiling….”

“You suddenly have more disciples than the Nie, _and_ proclaimed yourself the most powerful Sect leader….”

“Yes.”

“If I were even slightly less secure in my position, I’d want you dead, too.”

“If I was the one trying to take me down, I’d foster the rumor that I’m trying to replace the Wen in reparation for what was done to my people fourteen years ago. The YilingWei phoenix rising out of the QishanWen sun’s ashes.”

Jiang Cheng paled as he thought how that rumor would affect his wife…. Her life was in a precarious balance as it was. She was too high born to be left to the status of farmer or servant, but had not participated in the war, so technically she was not in the general class, either. But technicalities didn’t mean much when tensions and anger ran high. And then he slammed a fist on the ground as he remembered that it was Jin Ling who had led the way earlier in the day pardoning the Wen…. His innocent action of trying to protect Wen Qing would be used as fuel in the fight against Wei WuXian. “What do you need from me?”

“Right now, just silent support. I have a plan, but it’s going to take time. If you do hear rumors about me, please just act all haughty or something. Like the rumor is too ridiculous to be believed.” Jiang nodded in agreement. “And if you could wait to take your wife to Yiling and YunMeng? I think you should get married sooner than later, too. I don’t want for her to be part of the reason they’re taking me down…. Giving her the protection of the YunMengJiang Sect should help keep her safe. Maybe we can persuade A’Ling to lend you his parents’ wedding clothing, and you can marry tonight or tomorrow….” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello to my dear readers!
> 
> I had about 3500 words written that I was going to post yesterday, but I was feeling headachy and I wasn't happy with some of my conversations. So I edited and added today, and I'm much happier. 
> 
> Thank you for reading!


	18. Chapter 18

Wei WuXian perched one hip on the second floor balcony railing of the tea house. “There’s going to be a robbery in a few minutes, so watch carefully. See if you can spot the thief.”

Ouyang ZiZhen leaned so far over the railing so far that Lan SiZhui had to grab his robe to prevent him from falling. “How do you know that, Senior Wei?”

“I’ve been around a few more years than you have,” Wei WuXian reminded them. “Watch.”

“I don’t know why we have to look for thieves!” Jin Ling grumbled. “I thought we were going to learn about spirits and ghouls!”

“Who told you I was teaching a lesson on spirits and ghouls today?” Wei WuXian questioned. “Aren’t you supposed to be flirting with girls and thinking about getting married right now?” The juniors emphatically denied this. At sixteen and seventeen, ghouls were a far more interesting topic than writing poetry, which was that morning’s activity. “You all just decided to follow me around. I have a wedding present to buy, and you lot are in my way. But you’re here, so you might as well learn something.”

Below them the street was the normal hustle and bustle of a typical city street. The air was full of the sounds of vendors hawking their wares and bargaining with customers, children yelling and laughing, and beasts of burden announcing their displeasure at having to work. Wei WuXian spotted something interesting. “It’s beginning. Pay attention” he ordered. The juniors had no idea what they were looking for, but they obediently kept their eyes glued to the street. As they watched, one of the boys running around waving sticks as if they were swords and mock fighting bumped into a woman carrying a large basket full of fruits and vegetables, spilling her produce onto the ground. She yelled out at them, but they ignored her and kept playing. A girl, perhaps five or six years of age, and a street rat by the looks of her filthy clothing and beggar’s bowl, helped pick up the produce, deliberately showing that she wasn’t stealing anything. The woman rewarded the girl by handing her an apple. The woman continued on her way down the street; the girl returned to her spot begging, the apple having disappeared into her filthy robes. And Wei WuXian slid off the balcony to sit at the table and take a sip of his now lukewarm tea. He would have preferred wine but decided that he needed to remain fully sober since these juniors had decided to follow him around.

As the juniors left their spots at the balcony, Lan JingYi muttered, “I thought we were witnessing a robbery. Just some boys knocking a poor woman down, and a girl helping her.”

Wei WuXian laughed. “Did none of you see the thief?”

“What thief?” the boys clamored.

“The one who stole two onions, a green pepper, a steamed bun, and two or maybe three apples. I couldn’t see how many; he was quite good!” Unbidden came the memories of when he had been the one stealing back in YunMeng. Everyone in his little gang knew stealing was wrong, but when no one would hire them to run errands, scrub pots, peel vegetables, keep a fire burning, or any of the thousand other tasks street kids would do for food or a warm place to sleep, and the begging bowl stayed empty, what else could they do? The only options were to steal or to starve, his jiejies and geges said. So they distracted and he, as the smallest and nimblest, stole. And when he grew a bit taller, he became a gege to distract the crowd. When he became too tall, sometime in his seventh year; getting caught meant losing a hand instead of earning a beating. And he could potentially bring down the rest of his gang with him. Who wanted to be responsible for the rest of the gang losing a hand for stealing? So he, like his elders, struck out on his own. The seven and eight year old jiejies would hope to find work as a scullery maid or laundress but usually ended up in a whore house. The lucky ones were too ugly to work in the front of the house. The geges would hope to find work on a farm or as a proper day laborer. Sometimes, they reverted back to stealing, and if they got caught by the wrong people, the lucky ones ended up partially covered in a ditch or floating in a river somewhere. Wei WuXian had been one of the luckier ones; he had survived on scraps and day labor for a little over a year before Jiang FengMian found him and brought him to Lotus Pier. 

“So who stole?” demanded Jin Ling. “And why are we sitting up here instead of catching him?”

“What happens when we bring the thief to a magistrate?”

“He’ll get a trial, and if he’s found guilty, he’ll lose a hand,” Lan SiZhui promptly responded. “But you don’t want him to lose a hand…. Or you would have reported this.”

“How much is a hand worth anyway?” Wei WuXian held his left one up and wiggled it around. “Is it worth more than a few fruits?” Jin Ling opened his mouth to argue, but Wei WuXian made a shushing sound. “Does your answer change if you know the thief is only three or four years old?”

“Three or four?”

“Yes. His head was scarcely taller than some of the tables, so I’d say three or a short four. He needs to be small and fast so as not to be noticed or stepped on.”

“Who lets their three year old steal?” Lan JingYi snorted.

“Who said anything about ‘let’?” Wei WuXian asked. “His parents are dead. Or they abandoned him. It doesn't make a difference at this point. The only thing keeping him alive are his hands and feet, the kindness of other children, and the occasional charity from strangers.”  
  
“But there are charity homes for children,” Lan SiZhui offered. “Why can’t he live there instead of stealing?”

“Some of those homes are more like prisons than homes,” claimed a boy Wei WuXian had never seen before. “When my father finds them he shuts them down because he says the children are kept there until there’s a buyer for them.”

“Slavery?” another new boy asked in a whisper.

“In a way…. My father says there are perverts who like little children…. He won’t tell me what is done to them…. But I think it must be pretty bad if he’d rather have the children living on the streets than in those homes.”

Wei WuXian stared at the boy. In his almost five years of living on the streets, several men had asked him if he wanted to _play_ with them. He had run from them as fast as his legs allowed, not liking the feelings these men engendered. But he hadn’t ever thought they wanted to do _that_ to him…. He doubted that those perverts would have used the same consideration that Lan Zhan did every night.

Was that what his first Jiejie was referring to? They never used names, just titles, on the streets. If you were caught, telling the authorities that you stole for the gege with the ratty gray robe described every boy on the streets. No names meant safety of a sorts. His first jiejie who had trained him was also training another, younger, boy. But that didi did not have quick hands, and after a month, jiejie had taken them for a walk outside the town. Didi fell asleep next to a pleasant stream, exhausted from the long walk and hunger. Jiejie picked up a largish rock and smashed his head until he stopped moving. “It’s a gift,” she had said. “We can’t keep him anymore. The best he could hope for would be to starve to death. At least this is quick.” That jiejie had taken two other children for long walks and gifts of their own before she found work as a laundress in a small household. A few months later, he had come across her and she had asked him to steal a good knife. It had taken a while, but he finally managed to get one that wasn’t too rusty. She had turned it over and over in her hands admiring it before she handed it back and asked him to gift it to her. He could see the bruises on her face and arms and the rips on the back of her clothes from a whip. But then she lifted her robe to show him bloody streaks on her inner thighs. “I don’t want this…. Didi.... Please… give me the gift.” He had left the knife in her body, her hand wrapped around the handle as if she had done it to herself. 

A voice in the present scattered his memories. “What can we do?”

“You can’t save them all,” Wei WuXian stated firmly. Some parents died. Some parents couldn’t afford to feed all of their children. Or didn’t want children in the first place. It was unavoidable.

“Senior Wei… weren’t you adopted?” To his surprise, one of the new ‘boys’ turned out to be a girl. 

“Yes,” he answered cautiously.

“And Lan SiZhui was adopted as well?” she continued.

“Yes.”

“Well, then. Why don’t we encourage everyone to adopt?”

“Jiang FengMian adopted Senior Wei because he knew his parents. The same way that HanGuang-Jun adopted Lan Sizhui because he knew his Gege,” Jin Ling stated. “Those children out there are pitiful, but do you really want to bring a thief into your home? It’s one thing to take your neighbor’s children when their house burns down. It’s another to take a complete stranger!”

“Wouldn’t it be better to found a proper charity house? Where the children are taught to read and write and learn a skill so when they are old enough they can earn a living without resorting to prostitution?” Lan SiZhui asked. “I thought that’s what the charity houses were for…. I didn’t know they could be used to sell the children into… that kind of life…” he added sadly.

Wei WuXian just looked at the juniors as they started arguing amongst themselves. No solution had been found in the last thousand years. And it was highly unlikely that these juniors would be able to solve the problem if they devoted the rest of their lives to it. But at least they were starting to see that not every life was born to the privileges that they, as the children of cultivators, had come to expect as their due. And that was a good lesson to learn…. He stood up and went to lean on the balcony rail, looking down at the beggar girl across the way. 

“Senior Wei?” his son asked quietly, standing by his shoulder. “You knew they were thieves because you used to do that, too?” Wei WuXian nodded. “Is there a way to save them?” Lan SiZhui asked hopefully.

“To save all of them? No. A few here and there? Yes.” They looked down in silence for a few moments. “You once asked me to give you older brothers and sisters…. I’m sorry that I couldn't do that for you.”

Laz SiZhui smiled. “Then… Baba? I would like some younger brothers and sisters.”

Wei WuXian smiled back. “I think I can arrange that.”

* * *

Li MeilLi looked once again at the letter in her hand. A Koi Tower servant had handed it to her with a curt bow. The calligraphy was beautiful, neat, and clean. And most of the characters were unknown. She was able to read enough to guess it said “you come to my room after noon, Lan”. She rather hoped she chose the correct Lan… She didn’t know the characters for XiChen, WangJi or SiZhui…. But then again, she also hoped it was one of the Lan asking her to come and not an instruction to visit some random blue room…. She could have asked one of the women in the dorm to read it for her, she supposed. But after that Jin woman spoke harshly to her the day before, the other women in the dorm had stopped talking to her. They gave her cold glances, and whispered behind their hands. 

Well, now it was after noon. She firmed up her shoulders and walked to ZeWu-Jun’s room with a determined stride. If he wasn’t the one who sent the letter, at least she could ask him to read it to her…. He opened the door to his room with a smile. “Thank you for coming,” he saluted. “I’m in a bit of a bind, and I wasn’t sure who else I could depend on.”

Li MeiLi followed him into the room to see Wen Qing seated, eyes closed. One maid stood behind her winding her hair up and holding it in place with golden hair pieces dripping with jewels. Another maid kneeled in front of her carefully applying cosmetics, hiding the bruises. On a stand was her wedding dress, a lacy looking confection in red and white. “You are going to be a beautiful bride!” gushed Li MeilLi. “Are you sure, though? Just yesterday you said you wanted to go to Yiling and then get married….” She glared at ZeWu-Jun. “Are they bullying you into this? I’ll help you escape if you want…. I’ll take you to Yiling….”

Wen Qing laughed and patted the seat next to her. “It’s fine. Really, I’m fine.” When Li MeiLi sat, still giving ZeWu-Jun a dark look, Wen Qing laughed softly. “I heartily approve of this one, Lan XiChen. Not many women are brave enough to stand up to one Sect leader never mind two.” She casually dismissed the attendants, asking them to return in half an hour. “I want to marry Jiang WanYin. So if we marry today or next month, I get what I want. I can go to Yiling as a married woman or single, and my home will still be destroyed. But at least as a married woman, it will be my husband comforting me instead of a friend.” Wen Qing mentally dismissed the arguing from the previous night. And the hurt she still felt at being rushed into this marriage. However, she understood the danger she was in and that marriage offered protection against Wei WuXian’s enemies. Marriage to Jiang Cheng gave her connections to and the protection of three of the great Sects, four if one counted the YilingWei Sect. And as none of them had any idea how fast the lesser sects would act, _if_ they would act, or the form it would take, she had quietly accepted her fate. “The reason I asked you here is… would you please be my attendant at my wedding?” 

Li MeiLi’s eyes opened wide. “Don’t you want,” she started to ask.

“The women I would have asked all died in the Purge.” Wen Qing stated. “You are the only non-male friend I have right now. If it’s an imposition, I understand….”

Li MeiLi shook her head wildly, giving the silky strands of hair enough leverage to finally escape the leather thong which had valiantly tried to keep them tied back. “I will do it!” she cried. “I always wanted to be an attendant at my sisters’ weddings, but I was too little for the older ones when they got married, and I was gone by the time my younger sister married.” She looked down at the faded black robes she had on, and grimaced. “I just need to find something better to wear.”

Lan XiChen spoke up. “I’ve sent Lan SiZhui out to find you an outfit. It might be Lan robes…. Does that bother you?”

“As long as I’m presentable, it’s fine.”

The maids scratched at the door. “Madame… We really need to finish getting you ready.” They came in and Lan XiChen pulled Li MeiLi around a large screen to give the maids space to work. 

Li MeiLi swallowed nervously; this was the bedchamber section of the room. Her eyes darted to Lan XiChen’s. Did he bring her over here to…. No. Not with Wen Qing just a few feet away… right? She took a step towards the screen and the safety of the other side and screamed. There was a man sitting on the floor. He was dressed in black with chains around his wrists, his skin a pasty white with black lightning streaks running up his neck. _Is this the Ghost General_? She took a step back, and then another and bumped into a very solid chest. Lan XiChen’s hands lightly grasped her upper arms to steady her. “This is Wen Ning, courtesy name Wen QuiongLin,” he said quietly into her ear. “He won’t hurt you. He doesn't hurt anybody unless he’s told to by Wei WuXian or someone he protects is about to get hurt.” Li MeiLi could feel goosebumps forming on her skin… caused not by the pale man on the floor but by the man in pale blue behind her. 

His breath blowing past her ear, teasing the fine hairs on her neck…. What would it feel like if he alternated hot breaths with cool ones? Entranced by her own thoughts and feelings, she was only partially aware of the Ghost General scrambling up from his seated position and retreating to the other side of the screen. Then the head behind her moved to press lightly against hers. “Li MeiLi,” he whispered. “I cannot seem to control myself around you.” His hands slid down her arms to grasp her hands. He pulled down gently on her wrists, arching her back, and forcing her head to rest against his shoulder. Then her head was tilted slightly as he pressed his lips against the skin behind her ear. “Li MeiLi,” he begged. “Tell me to stop. Slap me. Hit me.” She shivered as his lips slid down a little bit only to press another kiss against her neck.

“Lan Huan…” She was able to keep from moaning his name, but not contain her longing. “Please stop. This will only hurt more….”

He spun her around so they were now pressed chest to chest. With one hand, he lightly held her wrists together at the base of her spine, and with the other he caressed her cheek. “I don’t want to stop.” Eyes firmly on hers, he pressed an open mouthed kiss against her lips and felt her pressing back. “Tell me honestly that you don’t like this. That you don’t feel the same way,” he whispered. Using the hand at her waist, he pulled her in even closer. “Tell me you honestly want me to leave you alone. And I will… I will try. You said being apart hurt you, too.” This time his eyes drifted shut so as to better enjoy the kiss. Li MeiLi wiggled her hands free and wound her arms around his neck, firmly pulling him into her embrace. 

When they paused to breathe a few minutes later, Li MeiLi wound her arms around his waist, and rested her head against his chest. His heartbeat was so fast… as fast as hers…. “Lan Huan? I cannot tell you any of that and be honest.”

“Any of what?”

She giggled at his forgetfulness and his arms tightened around her. “I honestly wish there was a way we could be together.”

“There is,” he insisted. “When I ask you to marry me, say ‘yes’. Or you can ask me to marry you and I will say ‘yes’.”

She shook her head against his chest. “You say that like it’s a possibility.”

One of his hands reached out to lift her chin up. Against her lips, he promised, “One day I will ask, and you will say yes. I cannot imagine anyone else by my side anymore. Just you. Only you....” Li MeiLi silenced him with a kiss.


	19. Chapter 19

The juniors arrived back in Koi Tower dispirited. They had left so eagerly in the morning excited by Wei WuXian’s new class and his casual mention to Lan SiZhui at breakfast that he would be picking up ‘something special’ in Lanling City. Despite his repeated protests that he was _not_ picking up an interesting creature for them to study, the juniors followed him; every single one of them was convinced he was lying to them or trying to entice them. But instead of seeing a ghoul, they saw poverty and received a harsh lesson on the realities of being an orphan. The ‘something special’ turned out to be a bracelet set.

The only one moderately excited was Ouyang ZiZhen’s younger sister, XiaoDan. After hearing about her brother’s adventures earlier in the year, she was determined to have her own adventure, too. It was not fair that boys got to have all the fun running around and getting into trouble while the girls were expected to learn how to cook or embroider and only let out for the occasional supervised night-hunt. She knew how to use her sword, and if her upper body strength didn’t allow her to withstand full-frontal attacks, her speed allowed her to dodge out of the way and slither on past to attack from the side or behind. And her cultivation ability was just as good as her brother’s. So she included herself in the group of juniors tagging along after Senior Wei. Along the way, she had discovered that one of the boys in pale blue was not only good looking and pleasant sounding, but he also appeared to be quite smart, and the other boys, including her brother, seemed to look up to him as a role model: Lan SiZhui, the adopted son of HanGuang-Jun and Senior Wei. She smiled as she walked behind him, admiring the way his forehead ribbon ends flirted with his hair, and the occasional smile she saw when he turned to look at the shorter boy in Jin gold next to him. 

Lan SiZhui felt more than slightly uncomfortable eating lunch. ZiZhens’s sister was looking at him like he was a piece of ancient pottery on display in a shop and she was appraising him to see if she wanted to buy him. This was the look of a hunter assessing her prey, and he was quite certain that he did _not_ want to know exactly what she was hunting for…. Then things took a turn for the worse.

The long table they sat at held not only their group of juniors. A few of the older boys a few seats away were discussing some of their dates, and whether or not they should think about marrying them. Ouyang XiaoDan leaned her elbows on the table and asked, “Lan SiZhui, what kind of girls do you like?”

And he, panicking, blurted out, “I don’t like girls.” As everyone at the table started laughing and teasing him, he tried to recover, “I mean, there aren’t any girls that I like, yet.” That didn’t stop the teasing…. Lan SiZhui could feel the blush burning his skin from the top of his head all the way down to his stomach. He hugged his knees to his chest and hid his face in them, utterly humiliated. 

He fervently thanked the gods when he received a note asking him to find some clothing for Li MeiLi to wear for the evening’s wedding. That was, until he noticed the shadow following him to the Lan women’s dorm. Whirling around, he forced his shadow to take a few steps back or she would have bumped into him. “Why are you following me?” he demanded to know.

She pretended to be surprised at the accusation. “Do you mean to tell me that I cannot walk in the same direction as you?”

He stood in silence for a few minutes. “Have you decided to wait in the same place as me, too?”

“Is that also not allowed?” she asked innocently. 

“I’m running an errand for ZeWu-Jun. I don’t require your assistance.” 

She smiled. “That’s quite all right. I wasn’t planning on assisting you.”

As he walked towards the women’s dorms, he wondered if his Lan upbringing really was the proper one. He was quite sure XianBaba would have taught him that there are some occasions where it is entirely proper to run. He quickened his stride, hoping to leave her behind, but the short legged shadow also increased her pace and kept up with him easily. At the dorm, he passed along Lan XiChen’s message and turned to his follower. “Why are you following me?” he asked again.

“I thought maybe you might like to experiment a bit….” she said. “You could kiss both me and Gege and decide if you like girls or boys.”

“I’m not kissing either of you!” he cried. 

“Why not?” she queried. “You have to give up your first kiss eventually. Might as well be with someone who doesn’t mind kissing you back. I don’t see any other girls lining up for the opportunity. And ZiZhen won’t tell anyone you kissed him, so…. Everybody wins. You get to see if you like girls or boys, and ZiZhen and I get to have our first kisses.”

“Ouyang ZiZhen does not like boys! And neither do I,” he insisted. He tried to look at her dispassionately. She was cute, in a round faced, friend’s little sister, short kind of way. Maybe if she gained a few more centimeters in height and grew some curves, she could be called pretty. “And I don’t want to kiss _you_.” But then he looked into her eyes and realized that last statement had hurt her. She was biting her bottom lip and the pain, from the bite or his insult, was making her eyes glassy with unshed tears. “Ouyang XiaoDan… That was too harsh. I apologize.” She was blinking fast and looking away in an attempt to regain her composure. “But I really am not looking to kiss anyone just yet.” He was rather hoping that was the end of it when the door opened and a Lan woman handed him a cloth bundle. He nodded his thanks and started towards Lan XiChen’s room, his shadow following along. He grit his teeth and sincerely hoped she was just headed in the same direction as him and not actually following him again. 

A translucent butterfly landed on his shoulder bearing instructions to go to his fathers’ room immediately. Lan SiZhui abruptly turned around. His shadow was too close behind and not paying close enough attention; he dropped his cloth bundle to clutch her arms to stop her from hitting her head on his chest. “Watch where you’re going,” he scolded. She really _was_ petite; her eyeballs were level with his collarbone!

She shook out of his grip. “I was watching. You turned too fast.”

Lan SiZhui looked up at the sky and grit his teeth again, searching for composure. “You really shouldn’t be following me around like this,” he finally said. “It’s not proper.”

Ouyang XiaoDan frowned. “You’re not my parent. Nor my brother nor my husband. What’s not proper is you trying to tell me what to do.” She tilted her head into what she thought looked like a regal pose. “You do not have the authority to tell me where I may or may not go.” He stared at her, starting to get furious that she refused to obey him, and upset that she was right about not having to. He pushed down his anger and started walking away towards his fathers’ room. He’d have a talk with Ouyang ZiZhen later about curbing his sister’s impulses.

Wei WuXian was sitting in a pagoda in the courtyard outside their room with a silver ring and bracelet in one hand. The stone table held several pieces of paper held down from the breeze by a rock. Lan SiZhui sat in a seat across the table from his Baba and took some of the papers out to read them. “Is this ZiDian?” he asked, trying to puzzle his way through the complicated drawings and details written down. 

“Yes.”

“You’re making another ZiDian for QingJie?”

“No… not exactly. I _am_ trying to figure out how to make another ZiDian. But for your aunt, I’ve made the bracelets into a spiritual object…. When activated, it forms a protective shield net around her.”

“You told me about that…. You used it at Dafan mountain the first time you encountered the goddess statue, right?”

“Mm.” Wei WuXian agreed absently. He was focused again on the set in his hand.

Ouyang XiaoDan dropped the bundle of clothing next to Lan SiZhui and sat down. “You forgot this.” 

“I told you to stop following me.”

“I wasn’t going to follow you this time. But then you left it on the ground. I could either leave it there and let you get into trouble or bring it to you.”

Lan SiZhui got up from his seat and grabbed the clothing bundle. “Next time, let me get in trouble.” He walked into his fathers’ room as she glared at him. But once the door shut, she dropped her head onto the table. 

“He hates me,” she moaned. 

Wei WuXian looked up from his hand. “A’Yuan doesn’t hate anybody. Aren’t you the girl from this morning?”

“Yes, Master Wei.” She stood up and saluted. “My name is Ouyang XiaoDan. My older brother is ZiZhen.”

Wei WuXian slid ZiDian’s ring onto his finger so it wouldn’t get lost. “Why do you think A’Yuan hates you?”

She plopped back down onto the seat and grimaced. “At lunch, I made him embarrass himself in front of everybody. I asked him what kid of girls he likes and he said he doesn’t like girls. He didn’t mean it like that, but everyone teased him anyways. And later I suggested he kiss me to see if he likes girls or boys.”

Wei WuXian snorted with laughter. “I don’t think my SiZhui is ready to take you up on that offer just yet. Give him a year or two to grow up some more.”

“But I’ve ruined my chances forever,” she whined. “He’s probably the most perfect man I’ll meet, and I think I could really like him, and now he hates me.”

“Well, if he’s anything like his father, he has no idea how to handle someone being interested in him like that. Give him time to get to know you and for you to get to know him. If you’re meant to be together, it will happen.”

“But what if he gets to know some other girl? What do I do then?” she whined.

“Then it was not meant to be. You wish them happiness and try your best to not be bitter about it.”

Ouyang XiaoDan wiped moisture away from her eyes. “You’re really bad at making people feel better. Did you know that?”

Wei WuXian struggled to swallow his laughter and nod sagely. _Actually, I do know that._

* * *

Lan SiZhui almost wished his shadow had not left him alone. Almost. He was struggling to carry a clothing chest and two bundles of clothing. It wasn’t heavy, just bulky. The other bundle of clothing was from XianBaba for Li MeiLi; as a proper disciple, she needed the new uniform. The chest was from his father for his uncle, Lan XiChen, ‘in case she needs a third option’. Lan SiZhui wasn’t quite sure why Li MeiLi needed three options of clothing to wear to the wedding, but he was sure his father knew what he was doing. And he hoped with every fiber of his being that she really was, for some unknown reason, in Lan XiChen’s room because he was done being a donkey. 

Wen Ning opened the door to ZeWu-Jun’s room causing Lan SiZhui to almost drop the chest in surprise. Wen Ning took the burden from him easily with a close to a smile as ever came to the Ghost General’s face. “When did you get here?” Lan SiZhui asked. “Our friends will be so excited to see you!”

Wen Ning shrunk a little in embarrassment. “Master Wei sent a message that my sister was alive. He said not to come, but… I couldn’t help myself.” He looked over fondly at Wen Qing who was being fussed over by two maids. “Isn’t she beautiful….”

Lan SiZhui saluted his cousins. “QingJie, you are very lovely.” He smiled at her in admiration; this was the QingJie he remembered from his childhood. He had thought she was the prettiest woman then, and she was even more beautiful now. Cosmetics covered her bruises and whitened her skin just a bit. Her cheeks were tinged with the barest hint of a blush and her lips stained a deep red. The maids had also done something to her eyes making them appear larger and more almond shaped. Wen Qing ducked her head, and Lan SiZhui knew that under the face paint, she was blushing from the compliments and adoration. 

“Are those for me?” she asked.

“Oh. No.” Lan SiZhui had completely forgotten the reason he came…. “Are ZeWu-Jun and Madame Li here? These are for them.”

Wen Qing nodded towards the screen. “They’re over there. Kissing.”

Lan SiZhui blinked stupidly at his aunt. “Kissing? Is everyone getting married now?” And immediately felt like a complete idiot. _I wish I could sink right through the floor right now. Or wake up and be in my bed back in Cloud Recesses._ He was the calm one in his group of friends. Lan JingYi was the one always embarrassing everyone. Today, however, was apparently his turn to make as many gaffes in one afternoon as JingYi did in a whole week. 

He was not spared his embarrassment as one of the maids announced that they were going to dress the bride now, and the men needed to leave to give the bride some privacy. So he shortly found himself in the courtyard with his uncle and cousin, the parcels he had brought over, and Li MeiLi. Several minutes passed as they all looked away from each other. 

Finally Lan SiZhui spoke. “Madame Li, the package on the bottom is for you from the Lan women if you want to wear one to the wedding tonight. The one on top is from Senior Wei; he says if you want, you may dress like a true Wei disciple instead of a pretend one from now on.”

Li MeiLi opened the gift from Wei WuXian to see a set of robes very similar to what he had worn in the banquet. The only difference was there was red piping around the outside edges of the front placket and there was no phoenix embroidered on the front. There was even a black headband with the Yiling mountain silhouette embroidered upon its center. 

“The forehead ribbon doesn't do anything yet.” Lan SiZhui explained. “We don’t know if it’s going to become a part of the uniform, but it’s there because Senior Wei is wearing one for now.” 

“It’s beautiful.” she ran a finger over the silky material. “So unique. I’ve never seen an outfit like this before.”

“I drew the phoenix that’s on Senior Wei’s and HanGuang-Jun’s robes. Neither of them like to wear the round collared robes, so our seamstresses came up with this idea. The young ones will have red robes with white piping. The junior disciples will wear the robe you have. And when he gets senior disciples, they’ll get a less elaborate version of the phoenix on the placket.” Lan SiZhui knew he was babbling. But his uncle was standing off to the side, staring off into space, jaw tight and fist clenched around his Shuoyue. And Wen Ning was sitting on the ground trying to whistle through a piece of grass. 

Li MeiLin put a hand on the chest. “What is this for?”

“HanGuang-Jun called it a third option. I have no idea what that means or what’s in it.”

“It’s irrelevant,” Lan XiChen said. “SiZhui, Wen QuiongLin, please leave us.” 

Li MeiLi looked at the box curiously after the two left. It seemed like ZeWu-Jun knew what was inside. And that she wouldn’t want to wear it. _HanGuang-Jun sent it to me…. So that means I can look, right?_ She carefully lifted the top and brushed aside the wrapping to see a robe in scarlet heavily embroidered with gold thread. _A wedding robe? My third option is marriage?_ She looked at the Wei disciple robe and then the wrapped bundle. And back to the chest. _I can go to the wedding as an attendant, a Wei disciple, or a woman also to be married._ She turned to look at ZeWu-Jun. _Why do I need three options? Did ZeWu-Jun tell his brother he wanted to marry me? Is he trying to force my hand here?_

“Over the past few weeks, we… that is WangJi, WuXian, Jiang WanYin, Wen Qing, Jin Ling, and myself… and now you…. We have done or said some things. Individually, everything we’ve done or said is minor. Of relatively no real importance. However, when we put them all together, the impact is quite… significant.”

“What did I say?”

“You told us about the training facility in Yiling.”

“What does that have to do with wedding dresses?”

“In my arrogance, I pushed to have WuXian announced right before WangJi at the opening banquet. Do you know what that means?”

“Sort of. The more important or powerful you are, the later you’re announced. Something like that.”

“Exactly. So by being announced like that, I made the claim that the YilingWei Sect was the most powerful. But it meant nothing. How can a Sect with only two cultivators and the Ghost General be the most powerful?”

“I still don’t understand.”

“Then WuXian took you as a disciple. If he’s accepted one Wei disciple, he will accept more. Perhaps he’s going to accept every one of you. But even that was a minor blip. The Yiling Patriarch has a couple hundred so-called disciples wandering around aimlessly while he lives in Cloud Recesses. There’s no order, no cohesion. Nothing to be concerned about.”

Then you mentioned that the Wei disciples have a spiritual training ground….”

“And that changes things?”

“Yes. We think the YilingWei Sect has the third highest number of cultivators. If he accepts them all, it is certain that he has more than the Nie. It’s possible he will have more than the Lan. That places him in a very different position than we thought a week ago. It is highly likely that some of the smaller Sects are going to be encouraged to resent his rise and attack him.”

“What has that to do with wedding dresses?”

“As an acknowledged Wei disciple, you are….”

“In trouble,” she finished for him. “I can’t even defend myself in a fight.”

“Hence WangJi’s third option.” Lan XiChen silently cursed his younger brother. Li MeiLi was not ready to accept any relationship other than the not-so-occasional kiss. He wasn’t even sure if it was a wise idea to marry a woman he has known for less than a week. Yes, his body was screaming to possess her. And his soul was telling him that she was ‘the one’. His head was telling him to slow things down, to get to know her. To make sure that this was not just a passing thing. He closed the chest. “There are several women Lan cultivators who can train you in hand-to-hand combat and how to use a knife. They can start to teach you how to defend yourself once we get back to Gusu. But until you’re trained, we will protect you. You are WuXian’s first disciple; you should wear the uniform with pride.”

“You don’t want to marry me.” Li MeiLi was conflicted. Wasn’t that what she thought, too? Marriage was not possible? So why did it hurt to hear him so casually dismiss it?

“The danger will be less if you marry me. However, I will protect you either way…. I will not press you into something you don’t want and don’t urgently need. I… I don’t want you to hate me later.” Li MeiLi stroked a finger down the Wei uniform. And nodded.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: XiaoDan means “little dawn”


	20. Chapter 20

Wen Qing stood in front of the mirror and peered at her eye reflection; the little lines around them were barely visible thanks to the cosmetics. She pressed her hands to her belly; even through all the layers of the wedding dress she could see it was the wrong shape. Concave instead of flat. She ran her hands up her sides feeling each individual rib and over her breasts. They had lost their firmness over the last few years. And with the weight loss from living on the streets, they were even flabbier than they had been back in her captor’s house. _I’m too thin. I’m too old. How does he still want me?_ The weight loss was the only reason she was able to fit into Jiang YanLi’s dress; the other woman had been just a bit more slender.

It was still unbelievable that he had not married and had several children by now. For Wen Qing, the thought of Jiang Cheng happily living life was pretty much the only thing that kept her sane all those years. Dreaming of what his wife would look like and how she would adore him chased away the feel of the manacles on her legs. Deciding how many children he would have (she eventually settled on four boys and two girls), naming them, and dreaming up stories about them kept away the pain of being blocked from using spiritual energy and the insanity inducing monotony of a life chained in a room with no windows and no books. 

How had Wei WuXian lived so happily without a Core? Hers was simply drugged away and it made her miserable…. 

Wei WuXian…. The one person who had never given up on her, never let her down. She loved him, truly loved him in the most pure manner of love that ever existed. He wasn’t her little brother or a friend…. She just… loved him. Seeing him again in that tea house was quite possibly her second favorite moment of her life, coming in right after A’Ning returned to life…. Seeing him there, all white-faced in shock, she _knew_ everything was going to be all right. 

And then to realize that the young man in Lan blue passed out on the floor was her A’Yuan! That the chubby cheeked little angel was now this handsome young man…. Her third favorite moment of her life? She sent a fervent prayer off to Lan WangJi, thanking him for taking such good care of her nephew. And then sent another one winging towards Lan SiZhui wishing for him to have a happy, healthy life with a beautiful wife whom he adored and who adored him, and lots of plump, healthy children. 

It was strange to think of Wei WuXian married to Lan WangJi. Wei WuXian had definitely been one to flirt with everyone, regardless of age, gender or appearance twenty years ago. But he had seemed to prefer admiring women to men. Perhaps he simply preferred Lan WangJi in particular to women in general? Love was funny like that. She couldn’t have imagined the sixteen or even the twenty year old Lan WangJi admitting he was in love, never mind admitting he was in love with Wei WuXian, but in his looks and actions over the last few days, his love for Wei WuXian was very apparent. 

Especially when they thought they were alone…. That first night she had laid in MengYao’s bed in agony. A hair-line fracture in her forearm was still quite painful even though it was healing well. The little bits of food she had eaten in the inn made her stomach cramp even as her starving body screamed for food. Combine that with the worry of being executed, this time for real. And the worry of her brother being executed alongside her; Wei WuXian may have told A’Ning to remain in Gusu, but she had known her brother would ignore that instruction. She also had to worry about Lan SiZhui being revealed as a Wen and executed…. And over all of that pain was a bone-deep longing for the safety and security she had felt while living in her Yiling home…. 

Whether it was from the physical aches or mental anguish, she had no idea, but she was still wide awake when Wei WuXian whispered, “Lan Zhan… I need you.” She had let her head fall to the side, so she wouldn’t accidentally see them loving each other. And tried to concentrate on the memories of the sights and sounds of her Yiling home to drown out the sounds. It was a technique she had tried, unsuccessfully, to use back in the Burial Mounds; the walls of their crude houses were very thin and sound travels far in the night. But then, as now, the sounds of skin rubbing on skin, muffled moans and cries of pleasure aroused her body. The pain in her arm and belly conflicted with the new need to have her taut nipples touched and the moistening area between her legs caressed.

She reminded herself that sex between consenting adults was natural and healthy. (Being aroused by others having sex was also a natural response. There was nothing she needed to be embarrassed about as long as she didn’t tell them she was awake.) However, mutually enjoyable sex between cultivation partners was essential. Cultivating with one’s partner created a spiritual bond between the Cores and would, over time, strengthen their Cores and increase their spiritual abilities. The giving and receiving of physical pleasure accomplished this much faster. 

Then the medical side of her brain took over and she had wondered how Wei WuXian’s lack of a Core impacted this bond? Since he cultivated resentful energy, did they even have a bond? No one studied cultivators who used resentful energy, and her curiosity was piqued. When she was sure they were asleep, she had crawled out of bed and over to them. They were completely entwined: Wei WuXian’s head and half his body lay on Lan WangJi’s, while Lan WanJi’s arms and legs had a stranglehold on his husband. She had slipped her fingers around Lan WangJi’s wrist where it pressed against Wei WuXian’s back to measure his pulse: strong, steady. It was the expected response after an orgasm and during sleep. She had sunk her spiritual awareness into his body to find he was in peak physical health. What was not expected was to ‘see’ the spiritual connection linking him to Wei WuXian….

She had been so excited and slightly confused. How could the two men be connected like that? With only one Core between them, how did the bond form? To find the answer, she had measured Wei WuXian’s pulse and found the same steady rhythm found in Lan WangJi. Which in itself was wrong. She remembered what his pulse had felt like back in the Burial Mounds; she remembered how the missing Core disrupted his natural rhythm. She had moved her entire hand to his belly, sliding it slowly and carefully between the two bodies, resting it lightly just below his belly button. And sinking her awareness into his body, she ‘saw’ a new Core spinning sluggishly where there should have been nothing. 

She had exited Wei WuXian’s body to find Lan WangJi’s eyes on her. “How?” was all she could ask.

“We found a donor,” he answered quietly. Guessing her next questions, he added, “My brother did the transfer; we wanted to keep the number of people who know about this as small as possible.”

“Ahhh.” she had responded. “Can he use it properly? It seems… off.”

Lan WangJi shook his head slightly. “No, he barely has control. Which we thought was odd because the donor was a very strong cultivator…. What is off about it?”

“It would help if I could touch his skin.” Lan WangJi unwound himself from his husband’s body, and adjusted the clothing so she could place her palm against Wei WuXian’s bare skin. “I can’t explain it,” she admitted. “Maybe like a puzzle piece that’s the same shape and size but in the wrong spot? It’s fixable. I just don’t have the energy to do it.”

“I will transfer some to you.”

“I’m lacking the physical energy, too. Stay with me tomorrow night, too, and I should be able then. It won’t take much to adjust it.”

A proper night’s sleep thanks to Lan WangJi’s knocking her out, plus more food, and more sleep during the day helped to raise her energy levels sufficiently that she was able to fix Wei WuXian’s problem. She had let Lan WangJi follow her actions as she manipulated the Core into the correct place.

When it was over, Lan WangJi just looked at Wen Qing for a few moments. “You love him.” She could hear no fear in his accusation.

“Yes.” She had calmly replied. “It won’t interfere with your marriage, though. Love… but without desire. Just to know that he is healthy, and happy, and loved is all I require.”

He had nodded. “He loves you, too. Back then…. When you chose death over running away…. It killed him inside.”

“I’m sorry.”

Lan WangJi carefully wiped away her tears. “Wen Qing… thank you.” She could see his ears turning pink in the candlelight. “Thank you for needing him and for taking care of him during those years. Thank you for being there for him when I could not.”

“You loved him even then….” He had nodded. 

It took a strong person to acknowledge that his lover loved another and she loved him back and not be jealous. Age and long term separation have a way of helping you to decide what is important….

Case in point…. She picked up a piece of cloth from the dressing table and unwrapped the comb held inside. The comb she had returned to Jiang Cheng all those years ago. The comb that he had kept in a lapel pocket next to his heart since that day. 

He had removed it from his lapel in the inn and placed it on the table before her. “You are the only woman who has touched my soul. Marry me, Wen Qing. Please. I cannot lose you again.”

She had tried to let him down gently. “I’m old.”

“So am I.”

“I’m _older_.”

“In three years will you complain that I’m _older_?”

He had stubbornly refused to accept her refusals. She brought up her death sentence and he countered that by asking if she really thought he or Wei WuXian would allow anyone to harm her? She mentioned that she might not be able to have children. He had one word in response: adopt. 

So she tried to change the topic slightly. “Why haven’t you married?”

“The first few years I was in mourning. Everyone was dead. Jin GuangYao and I had no idea how to raise a baby.”

“What do you mean, you were raising a baby?”

So he told her about how Su She had controlled and forced her brother into killing Jin ZiXuan and the others at Qiongqi Path. How Jiang YanLi had sacrificed herself to save Wei WuXian. How his Shijie’s death was the final piece that broke his Shixiong. How his brother had tried to kill himself only to be temporarily saved by Lan WangJi. And his own despicable behavior on that cliff top. He spoke of his horror at not finding his brother’s broken body at the base of the cliff. And the rage that engendered for the following thirteen years; it fueled his belief that Wei WuXian had survived the fall and was living a life unencumbered by the misfortune and destruction he caused. He spoke of his zealousness in trying to find the missing Yiling Patriarch and his unwavering hatred towards anyone who cultivated resentful energy. 

He spoke of trying to raise his nephew with Jin GuangYao and how their conflicting core beliefs as well as their Sect duties allowed the boy to grow wild and untamed. How the boy had inherited the worst of his father’s egocentric tendencies with none of his mother’s tenderness and understanding to soften it. And how Jin Ling’s friendship with, and near hero-worship of, Lan SiZhui was what was turning him into a decent person at last. 

He talked about his first meetings with Wei WuXian at Dafan mountain and in Qinghe. And how his hatred had warred with his relief that his brother was alive. And how after YunPing, he had finally managed to let go of that hatred.

He did not mention Wei WuXian’s marriage. Or the new Core. Or even that Jin GuangYao was the manipulator behind all this mess. 

He had been more forthcoming last night when he again begged her to marry him. He explained everything about the situation Wei WuXian found himself in now. And he begged her to alleviate some of his brother’s burden. “Marry me. Let me protect you with my name and Clan as well as my body. Please.” After a while, she was too tired to argue any further. He wanted to marry her. She wanted to marry him. What did a few days earlier really matter to her? But those same days could mean a huge difference to Jiang Cheng and Wei WuXian. 

Li MeiLi slid the door open and stuck her head in. “May we come in?” Wen Qing nodded. Seeing the younger woman reminded her of all the women who were unable to attend her at this wedding. Her mother. Her aunts and grandmother. Her cousins and friends. The women from the Burial Mounds. All gone. All destroyed. 

Li MeiLi walked behind the screen to the bedroom and laid three robes out on the bed. ZeWu-Jun silently placed the chest containing the wedding robes next to another clothing chest against the wall and left. _How do I choose?_ she thought. To choose the turquoise or pink robes would be to deny Master Wei. Temporarily, perhaps, but still a denial of her position as his chosen disciple. The black and white uniform, however, would paint a rather large target on her back…. Master Wei and his relatives would do their best to protect her, she was sure. But how would they stop an attack when she was sleeping in the woman’s dorm? They could order one of the Lan women, true, but those women held no loyalty oaths to the Yiling Patriarch and she held none to the Lan, so why would they risk their life to protect someone they held no ties to? She glanced over at the clothing chests. The third choice… the wedding dress… was not an option. 

The turquoise then. The color looked better against her tanned skin than the pink, and it gave her some level of protection for the next few days until the end of the conference. She would wear the black and white when she went to study at Yiling. Or Gusu. _No! I can’t go with him to Gusu. I will study in Yiling where I belong until Master Wei comes to get me._

She undressed quickly. As she went to put on clean trousers, a splash of color caught her attention. One a side table there was a large ornate vase. And peaking out from behind the vase was a flower crown. A lop-sided, mismatched, wilting flower crown. It must have fallen off her head on the way to dinner and… he picked it up? That’s the kind of thing love-sick men did in silly romance plays. They surreptitiously stole flowers from their loved ones' bouquets or ‘accidentally’ ripped a loose ribbon or piece of lace off of her robes and kept it. Or secretly cut a lock of her hair and kept that in a locket. _Real-life men don’t actually act like the stupid ones in plays, do they?_ She finished dressing, still mulling over why ZeWu-Jun kept her flower crown in his room. 

The obvious answer was simply not possible. 

She went back around to the main room to ask for a very large favor: “Wen Qing? Would you please help me with my hair?” The older woman smiled and nodded, and indicated the younger one should sit at the table. As Wen Qing ran a comb through the hair, Li MeiLi sighed. “I hate my hair. It’s too silky to stay put.”

Wen Qing smiled wider. “You’ve never been in one of the Great Houses, then, have you?” Li MeiLi snorted. The Great Houses were where the rich and powerful non-cultivation families lived. When they needed a cultivator, they hired someone from one of the major Sects to take care of the problem. They certainly didn’t bother with clanless cultivators or fake Wei disciples. “The wives and concubines spend hours having their hair done up in extremely complicated designs. And because it takes hours to put them up, they don’t take them down for a month at a time sometimes.”

“How do they sleep?”

“Painfully, I assume. But, the point is this…. A genius invented a cosmetic that’s like glue for hair. You rub it in, do the hairstyle, and let it set. If you don’t rub things against it or go outside in heavy winds, it pretty much stays in position. And then it washes out when you’re done with the hairstyle. More importantly, the maids who did my hair and face left some here…. You’ll only need a little bit each day if you’re just going to pull your hair back into something simple.” Wen Qing opened the jar and scooped a bit onto a finger. “This much or so will hold your hair in a half pony-tail. Tonight, let’s do something a little more elaborate!” She added another scoop of the gel and rubbed and combed it through Li MeiLi’s hair. She began twisting and braiding and using the small hair pins in the cosmetics box, pinned everything into a pleasing hairstyle. “If only we had an elegant hair piece… A jade stick pin, maybe…. Or a flower….”

Li MeiLi preened in the mirror. “My hair looks beautiful! Thank you! Where did you learn to do this?” 

Wen Qing looked away. “Sometimes I watched the maids in my uncle’s house.”

“Ah…” This was slightly embarrassing. The uncle Madame Wen referred to was most likely Wen RuoHan. If it was a different uncle, they were most likely all killed during the SunShot Campaign or murdered in the Purge. Time to change the subject. “Why did you study healing cultivation?” 

“Why did you change the subject?”

“Since I’m going to be your attendant, and maybe we could be friends... I’d like to know more about you…. But the obvious questions are either really rude or have simple answers.” 

“The obvious questions being how did I escape execution and where have I been for the last fourteen years?”

“There were only two men who were powerful enough to have exchanged two bodies for you and your brother and kept you both hidden for years.”

“You don’t think I escaped and hid for the last fourteen years?”

“Everything I’ve heard about you is years-old rumor and hearsay. Most of it talks about how evil the Wens were and includes you because of your relationship to Wen RuoHan and the Ghost General. However, I don’t think ZeWu-Jun or HanGuang-Jun would be supporting you if you were a bad person. So. What I do know is that you voluntarily turned yourselves in to be executed fourteen years ago. If you had intended to escape, it makes more sense that you would have fled the Burial Mounds instead of coming to LanLing City. So it’s possible that you escaped, but why would you have allowed your people to be executed? Or leave your brother behind? That doesn't make sense. And if you had escaped, why didn’t the Jin hunt you down? Why did they burn a body and claim it as yours? 

“And I don’t know how you feel about it, but my eldest sister, when she got engaged and then during the first few months of marriage, felt like she was reduced to nothing more than ‘the bride’. All anyone ever wanted to talk about was the wedding, her husband, her thoughts on marriage, and how many children she wanted. Of course, she enjoyed talking about those things. But she also liked to talk about embroidery. And songs. And flowers and gardening. So… cultivation is pretty much the safest topic.”

Wen Qing smiled warmly. “I see. I studied the healing arts because I like it. Also, my parent’s families have been healers of one form or another for generations. They both died when I was quite young leaving me to care for my infant brother. My mother’s family took us in when we were little. Wen RuoHan was a distant cousin to my father; he insisted we go to study with him once we were able to cultivate. When I became a senior disciple, I left Qishan for Yiling so I could study healing properly. I never enjoyed cultivating the sword path with its emphasis on killing creatures. I much prefer to study maintaining life rather than destroying it. What about you?”

“I didn’t know what I did was cultivation for a long time. So by the time I figured out what I was doing, I was too old to join the nearest Clan. My parents decided upon an arranged marriage for me, instead. I couldn’t go through with that, so I left home. I’ve been learning as much as I can, but it’s hard without proper teachers.”

“It seems like you’ll be joining the Lan Sect, soon…. They have plenty of teachers.” Wen Qing teased. 

Li MeiLi sighed. “That man makes my brain hurt. That chest he brought in? HanGuang-Jun sent it over. It has wedding clothes in it. Wedding clothes!” Li MeiLi thumped her fists on the table in anger. “Don’t you think a man should propose and receive a yes before his brother sends her wedding clothes? He didn’t ask because he knows I’ll say no. Of course, I have to say no. A great Sect leader needs to marry the perfect woman, not a farmer’s daughter. So why is it so upsetting that he didn’t ask?” She slumped in dejection. “I’m not being very consistent right now.” 

“My cousin destroyed Jiang WanYin’s family and home. So I thought that disqualified me from any consideration.... What would our lives be now if I had asked him instead of Wei WuXian to protect my little group? If he would hide them in YunMeng and take care of them? If we had married sixteen years ago as we both wanted and we faced the consequences together? 

“If all ZeWu-Jun wanted in a wife was a pretty face and exquisite manners, he could have married at any time in the last twenty-five years or so. That he is discussing marriage with you means that he found something extraordinary in you. And that you are conflicted? I think you’ve found something extraordinary in him, too.”


	21. Chapter 21

“Shijie,” Wei WuXian whimpered. With the veil covering her head, Wen Qing looked just like Jiang YanLi must have at her own wedding. One of the most important days in his Shijie’s life and he missed it. The pain was as excruciating as it was sudden. 

“Wei Ying?” a concerned voice at his shoulder asked. Wei Ying shook his head at his husband. _I’m fine. It’s fine._

Jin Ling, on Wei WuXian’s other side asked, “You were at my parents’ wedding?”

“No… but I did see your mother in her wedding dress. She and Jiang Cheng came to see me in Yiling City just before the wedding. She was so beautiful. That was also the day she told me she was going to have you; Shijie asked me to give you your courtesy name.”

“You gave me my courtesy name?” Uncle Jiang had always said ‘your uncle gave it to you’ when asked. Jin Ling had thought Jin GuangYao had given him the ‘Lan’ because of his friendship with Lan XiChen. But it was really Uncle Wei?

Lan WangJi repeated the question. “ _You_ gave him his courtesy name?” His ears were turning slightly pink. 

Wei WuXian laughed. “Well, the Ru part I had no choice about…. Family tradition and all that. But, yes,” his voice turned softer, more intimate as he gazed at his husband. “I named him RuLan.” 

Jin Ling felt decidedly uncomfortable as his uncles looked at each other. He was quite sure they were silently promising to do lewd acts to each other. Was this how Uncle Jiang was going to act now that he was getting married? He tried to look at something innocent and instead found himself watching ZeWu-Jun staring at Li MeiLi. _Do all men look this idiotic when they lust after someone?_

Wei Ying nudged his husband’s shoulder. “Are all weddings this boring?” he whispered. Then as it dawned on him that he was also married, “Was our wedding this boring?” 

“Hush.”

“Well, was it?”

Jin Ling snickered. “Yours was funny, Uncle Wei. The two of you arguing over which one was ‘the wife’ was quite funny. And then the rest of us arguing, too….”

“I don’t know why there was any arguing,” Wei WuXian complained. “It’s obvious.” 

“Yes, it is obvious,” Jin Ling deadpanned. Wei WuXian sent his nephew a sharp look; what was obvious was that his nephew thought Lan Zhan was the husband! Jin Ling gave his uncle his most innocent look and went off to find a less confrontational group of people to stand with.

“Hush,” Lan WangJi repeated. The conversation was disrupting his ability to remain passive. Thinking of his own wedding brought back memories of their wedding night. And the things he had done to Wei Ying to prove conclusively which one of them was the husband. He took a step to the side and stood behind his husband to hide his burgeoning erection. 

Wei Ying took advantage of this new position and leaned back. “Really, Lan Zhan. In public?” he murmured and wiggled his backside appreciatively. Then his tone turned somber. “I envied him, you know. Jiang Cheng…. By the time I figured that maybe you were more than just a friend, I was already cultivating resentful energy, and I knew that even being just your friend was impossible. Jiang Cheng at least had the courage to give Wen Qing a comb. I could only name my nephew after you.”

Lan Zhan wrapped his arms around Wei Ying’s waist and held tight. “You said you were seventeen when you thought….”

“The night we killed Wen Chou. It hurt so much to see you…. Jiang Cheng hugged me, and all I wished for was that it was you instead. That was the night I knew I had lost you. That no matter what it was that I felt, you could never feel the same way about me. You would never abandon your principles for someone who abandoned the sword path. What about you? When did you know?”

“When did I _know_ for certain that I loved you? At the Wen indoctrination camp. You were being punished because you refused to keep your mouth shut; Wen Chou tried to whip you, and I found myself trying to save you from being hurt. My leg hurt so much from the weight of those buckets, I was almost blind from the pain. I remember thinking ‘I’m going to spend the rest of my life saving this idiot from himself’ and being absurdly happy about that. I dreamed we would roam the world together like Song Lan and Xiao XingChen.”

“You never said anything.”

“When was it the time or place to say anything? To tell you how I felt was to risk losing you forever. I did tell you when I sang to you in the cave. I thought you were going to die from the fever or starvation…. After that… especially since you returned… staying silent allowed me to stay by your side…. Sometimes, when I was alone, I would pretend that when you teased me, you were flirting with me…. But I had seen you flirting with women, and I knew the difference. I was so jealous. Insanely jealous.”

Wei Ying turned in his husband’s arms to face him. “Lan Zhan.” Ignoring the people around them, ignoring that they were supposed to be paying attention to his brother, he leaned forward and lightly pressed their lips together. “Thank you for saving this idiot’s life over and over. Thank you for loving me all these years. Thank you for confessing to me. I love you.”

“Please pay attention to the wedding,” Lan Zhan whispered into Wei Ying’s ear. “You can show me how much you love me later.”

Lan XiChen tried to watch the couple in red; his eyes kept straying to the woman in turquoise standing near them. That color looked so good on her…. So much better than the black of a Wei disciple. When they were married, he should persuade her to dress in such bright colors all the time. And her hair… so pretty all twisted up like that…. Most women would have added in a jade hair piece or some other jeweled decorations; such ostentatiousness did not fit Li MeiLi’s style. A single blossom or another misshapen flower crown would suit her so much more…. The sleek simplicity of her hair arrangement showcased her natural assets, even as it hid her liveliness. His fingers curled into a fist; they ached to unravel each braid and twist. To weave themselves into her tresses…. What would it feel like to have her hair brushing over his skin…. Would it tickle? Or arouse? 

Li MeiLi could feel Lan XiChen’s eyes on her throughout the whole ceremony and throughout the dinner afterward. It was distracting and unnerving, and unfortunately did not boost her courage. She had been so resolute the day before that they needed to part. Even only a few hours ago her determination was unwavering. But after talking with Wen Qing, she had changed her mind. So when the dinner was over, she mustered every bit of courage she possessed and took it to ZeWu-Jun. She was going to ask him to take her to Gusu, but he asked first. “May I walk you back to your dorm?” She nodded and followed him out of the hall.

Once away from the laughter and noise of the guests, he reached down to hold her hand. “Do you mind if we take the long way? I’m not ready to say good night just yet.” They walked aimlessly, keeping to the shadowed paths rather than the well lit and well traveled ones. Eventually, they ended up at one of the terraces overlooking the city and stood near a torch that had blown out. “Come to Gusu with me,” he begged.

“Yes.” A simple answer, but heartfelt. 

He smiled in the darkness and brought his free hand up to caress her cheek. “Not to CaiYi Town. Come to Cloud Recesses with me.”

She tried to turn her face away, but his hand forestalled the action. “I will go to CaiYi as Master Wei asked.” She shook her head within his light grasp. “You know I should not go to Cloud Recesses with you.”

“”WangJi and WuXian are newlyweds. I’m sure you know that means they want to spend every available minute… doing _that_.” Lan XiChen coughed uncomfortably. “Being physically close like that is necessary between cultivation partners to strengthen their spiritual bond and increase their cultivation abilities. They also have to deal with the YilingWei Sect issues. And WangJi still has duties as Chief Cultivator. WuXian doesn’t need the stress of tutoring a beginner cultivator on top of everything else. He asked you to be his disciple to give me time.” He tilted her face up. “You need to learn the basics; we can teach you in Cloud Recesses. There... we can take all the time we need.”

“Why do you keep asking her this? She’s already said no!” called out a voice. 

“Jin ChangYing.” Lan XiChen half bowed as he turned to face the young woman and gently pushed Li MeiLi behind him. 

“You shouldn’t pressure her like that. It’s not right. She’s made her decision; you should respect that,” Jin ChangYing accused. “I’ll go to Cloud Recesses with you in her place.”

Li MeiLi stepped out from behind and gave Lan XiChen a dirty look. _I can fight my own verbal battles._ “Do you respect his decision to not marry you?”

Jin ChangYing gave Li MeiLi a scathing look. “I respect it. I don’t understand it. What do you have that I don’t? You’re a nobody! From nowhere special! You can barely cultivate! You have no connections, no money, no power, no position. What makes him interested in one such as you?” 

Li MeiLi smiled as she felt Lan XiChen’s hand grab hers again and squeeze. “You’re right, Madame Jin. But what do you offer that he doesn’t already have? He has wealth and power already. He is connected to many, if not all, of the Sect leaders and Elders by friendship or marriage. You are very beautiful; there are a hundred other girls here who are also very beautiful. I’ve heard you are very talented. There are also hundreds of other girls who are very talented.”

“What do you bring then?” Jin ChangYing spat.

“Nothing except for myself,” Li MeiLi admitted. “As you said: I’m a nobody from nowhere with nothing.”

“Someday you will give me your love,” Lan XiChen murmured. “And then I will be the richest man in the world.”

Li MeiLi ducked her head. “You sound very sure of yourself.”

Lan XiChen’s free hand came up again to cup her chin. “I’m very sure of us. Come to Cloud Recesses. Let me court you properly, and if you really can’t bear it or we decide what we’re feeling now will not last, I’ll take you to CaiYi or Yiling or anywhere you want to study.” The two of them had completely forgotten Jin ChangYing’s presence and were too wrapped up in each other to notice her stomping away.

“ZeWu-Jun… what is this spiritual bond you mentioned?”

“You know how you lifted Shuoyue by imagining a golden cord?” She nodded. “Well, a spiritual bond is when two cultivators’ cores form a spiritual link between them. A permanent form of that ‘cord’ you used on my sword. It can’t be forced, only denied by remaining apart from the one you’re bonded to. Usually two cultivators who have formed this bond marry because physical intimacy increases the strength of the bond, their individual Cores, and their abilities. But not all married cultivators form a bond.”

“So how do you know if you have it?”

“Have you learned to check your Core?” She shook her head. “Your Core is here,” he placed their joined hands against Li MeiLi’s lower abdomen. He showed her how to push her senses inward to ‘see’ a golden fire spinning in her body. She stumbled back and grabbed onto the terrace railing for support. Even in the dim light she could see Lan Huan’s face was paler than normal. Apparently he had ‘seen’ it, too: a tendril of spiritual energy, scarcely thicker than a single human hair, connecting their two bodies. 

“Wen Qing’s story with Sect Leader Jiang…. It’s full of what ifs and maybes.” Li MeiLi looked straight into Lan XiChen’s eyes. “I don’t want to find myself in twenty years wondering if I made the right choice to stay away from you. So... I will study in Cloud Recesses. And get to know you. And maybe this _thing_ between us is real and permanent. And maybe it dies out. But at least there won’t be any ‘what ifs’.” 

* * *

Wei WuXian stumbled out, still bleary eyed, to the training field at the crack of dawn. To his surprise, there was a horde of about fifty junior disciples from multiple Sects already there, including at least ten women. Lan WangJi was barking out orders as if he hadn’t spent the most of the last few hours reenacting his own wedding night. Wei WuXian wanted nothing more than to collapse onto the ground and sleep for another few hours. _My waist hurts. My ass hurts. My legs hurt._ Almost every part of his body from his neck to his knees was aching after being thoroughly loved for hours on end. Unfortunately, the grass was still wet with dew which would make sleeping rather uncomfortable. Even more unfortunately, Lan WangJi would be sure to rudely wake him up again which would simply add humiliation to being wet. He settled for glaring at the man who had kept him awake tying him into a human knot all night.

Finished with directing the juniors, Lan WangJi turned his attention to his husband. “Fight,” was the only instruction he gave as he drew Bichen from its sheath and attacked. 

Immediately put on defense and reactions slow from lack of sleep, Wei WuXian didn’t have time to draw out Suibian and was forced to protect himself using Suibian’s scabbard. “Like old times, huh?” he grinned. He wrapped spiritual energy around Suibian to keep it strong against Bichen’s icy attacks. Exhaustion melted away as his new Core burned hotter, healing and strengthening his body as he fought. About twenty minutes in, he managed to press Lan WangJi back a few steps giving himself the few precious seconds needed to take Suibian out of its sheath. “You’re not going to take it easy on this poor body of mine, Lan Zhan?” he panted. “And after you kept me awake all night, too,” he teased.

Lan WangJi’s hand tightened on his sword. “Shut up and fight, Wei Ying, or I won’t keep you up tonight.”

“Promise?” Wei WuXian laughed. And then they were fighting again. Sword against sword, scabbard against scabbard. They whirled and twisted around each other looking for an opening. 

The juniors, in the meantime, stopped drilling to watch the two elders. “So this is why Jiang WanYin was so upset at Baba at the banquet that day,” Lan SiZhui whispered to Jin Ling. 

“I thought he was quite good, then.” Jin Ling admitted. “But this….” his voice trailed off into silence as he admired the potentially deadly dance. The two men were so fast and light on their feet. Their swords were a blur. Any mistake could result in a fatal blow, but still Wei WuXian laughed as they fought. 

After another twenty minutes or so, Lan WangJi announced, “Enough,” and took a few steps away. Wei WuXian sheathed Suibian and wiped the sweat from his face and neck with his sleeve. Lan WangJi, of course, was not sweating at all. Or winded.

“Lan Zhan,” Wei WuXian whined. “How is it that you look as neat and clean as you did when you dressed this morning?” The grass was still wet, but he was already wet from sweat. He collapsed to lie on the ground and folded his arms over his head. “Oh! I am so tired!” 

“Build your stamina,” Lan WangJi ordered. 

“Why did you give up practicing the sword, Master Wei?” Ooyang ZiZhen asked. “If I could fight like you, I’d….”

“Be asked to duel far too often by less skilled people who just want the chance to take you down a notch or two.” Wei WuXian interrupted, wincing as he sat up. Certain overly abused body parts were complaining again now that he wasn’t focused on the duel. “And the person nearest in skill to me only fought me when he was trying to kill me.”  
  
“Who was that?”

“I never wanted to kill you,” Lan WangJi answered. “Just sometimes to seriously maim you.”

Jin Ling blinked at his uncles trying and failing to process that statement, and wondered aloud to Lan SiZhui, “How does one go from wanting to hurt someone to loving them?” Lan SiZhui shrugged. 

One of the disciples on the field called out, “Master Wei? HanGuang-Jun? Would you teach us?”

Wei WuXian stood up and stretched. “I don’t teach swordsmanship. I only teach archery.”

“Well, then,” that young one persisted. “Would you help us with archery?” Wei WuXian started to protest that he was tired, but the field was already emptying. Helplessly, he watched as some of the teenagers set up archery butts while others were heading back to their dorms to grab their bows and arrows. 

Lan SiZhui walked swiftly to his dorm only to discover that he had a shadow again. “Why are you following me?”

“We had this conversation already. Do you really mean to tell me that I cannot walk in the same direction as you?”

He took a few cleansing breaths; they didn’t help. “The women’s dorms are not in this direction.”

“I know that,” she retorted. “Why would you assume I’m headed to the women’s dorm?”

“I thought you were maybe going to get your bow and arrows like the rest of us?”

“Oh. I am.” She giggled. “My father refused to allow me to pack it. He said the archery competition would be for the boys only. So I put them in with Gege’s.” Ouyang XiaoDan smiled her most empty-headed smile. “Gege asked if I would pick up our equipment while he helped to set up the targets.” Then she put on her most thoughtful face and tapped her lips. “I believe Gege is sharing a dorm with LanGege… yes?”

Lan SiZhui glared at the actress in front of him. She had now wrested her features into an attempt to look cute and innocent. “You can go back to the field. I’ll get your equipment.”

“I couldn’t ask LanGege to carry Gege’s and my things! You’re already going to be carrying so many others’!” she exclaimed, still trying to maintain a cute and innocent look. Inwardly she was laughing. Her brother’s friend looked so cute when he was annoyed! 

“Do what you want, then,” he muttered and continued on his way. “Just don't call me LanGege!”

“All right,” she agreed. “But it’s rather soon for me to call you SiZhuiGege, I think. We’ve only just met each other a day ago.”

He stopped causing his shadow to bump into him; she was very solid for such a short person, and her nose and forehead crashing into his back was more than slightly painful. Over her ‘ow!’, he proclaimed, “I’m not your brother. Don’t call me Gege.”

Behind them, Jin Ling bent over laughing silently, tears forming at the corners of his eyes. _Too funny!_ Ouyang ZiZhen’s sister was a real imp! She had the obnoxiousness and stubbornness of Uncle Jiang mixed with the whimsy and stubbornness of Uncle Wei. ZhuiGe didn’t stand a chance. If she ever decided they were to marry, he’d find himself making the third bow before he realized he’d never actually proposed marriage! 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello dear readers. I apologize for the late update. Reality hit hard a few weeks ago, and I had to stop my daily walks for a while to take care of my family more. It is on that 2.5 mile trek that I dream up the next bit to my story. I usually have the next 3-5 chapters roughed out before I update here, but without that time to be alone to think, I've barely written anything. On the good side, life is back to normal; I've resumed my walks and have now roughed out the next few chapters. So now it's a matter of putting what's in my head into my computer.


	22. Chapter 22

Lan WangJi looked over at his husband; the other man was practically dancing as he worked with the juniors. Wei WuXian was so involved in his work that he probably didn’t even notice that there were more than twice as many juniors on the field for archery practice than there were for sword practice. But then again, while Wei WuXian was known for having been skilled in using a sword as a teenager, his archery feats were unparalleled. Even though the YunMengJiang Sect may have publicly and repeatedly rebuked him, there was still one of Wei WuXian’s kites and string hanging on a wall in a place of honor: testimony of an archery record that remained unbroken by any cultivator from any clan. His blind-folded shooting spree at the start of the night hunt at Phoenix Mountain was still talked about in hushed voices by many cultivators from almost every Clan. Of course, everyone thought these feats were due to Wei WuXian’s cultivation abilities. But everyone also knew that spiritual energy had a definite distance limit and those targets were very much out of its range…. If they bothered to put both pieces of information together, they’d realize that he accomplished these feats solely by skill.

The juniors were just as excited as his husband. They would probably brag to their grandchildren about how they were such good archers because of this morning’s teachings. 

A smaller man sidled up next to Lan WangJi. “Greeting’s HanGuang-Jun,” he offered. Lan WangJi nodded in acknowledgement, but didn’t look over. Nie HuaiSang waved his fan languidly. “You still haven't thanked me.” This made Lan WangJi’s hand tighten on Bichen. “I gave you the gift of a lifetime…. I didn’t expect you to get down on your knees, but a ‘thank you’ would have been nice.”

“What gift?”

“Mo XuanYu wanted to bring back Wen RuoHan. I had to talk very fast to get him to agree on the Yiling Patriarch. It helped that I had found where Meng Yao was hiding the body. Speaking of hiding… where did you hide Wen Qing all these years? After I found Wen Ning, I assumed Meng Yao had kept her alive as well, but I couldn’t find any news of her.”

Lan WangJi looked down at Nie HuaiSang. “We found her in the city only a few days ago. Why did you bring him back?”

“He was my friend. He never looked down on me for not being a good cultivator or student. And the more I investigated my brother’s disappearance and death, the more I became convinced that he wasn’t guilty of the crimes he was killed for. I thought as long as we’re going to be bringing back an evil cultivator to avenge Mo XuanYu, we might as well bring back one who wasn’t going to continue on a murder spree or power struggle afterwards.” Nie HuaiSang smiled slyly. “I put him right in your path.” Then his smile turned wry. “I did not expect him to run from Mo Manor leaving you behind, though…. I honestly thought he’d choose to stay with the safety of the one friend he knew he had left.”

“You planned everything.” Lan WangJi looked back at his husband. One corner of his mouth twitched upwards in appreciation of the shear joy the other was exuding. 

“I tried,” Nie HuaiSang admitted. “Of course, it would have been helpful to know that he had given his Core to Jiang Cheng all those years ago. Speaking of which… if you only met up with Wen Qing a few days ago, who transferred a Core to Wei WuXian?” Lan WangJi remained silent and forced his hand to stay loose on Bichen’s scabbard. “Was it Wen Ning?” Nie HuaiSang probed. When Lan WangJi still made no response, Nie HuaiSang sighed. “Keep your secrets, then. But a thank you would be appreciated.”

“Thank you?” Lan WangJi looked down at the smaller man. “How many people did you have killed to return him to life? Those at Mo Manor may not have been the nicest people in the world; does that mean they deserved to die? I am exceedingly grateful that Wei Ying is alive; I will not agree with your methods. You said you found his body: why didn’t you tell me or Jiang WanYin so we could have buried him properly?”

Nie HuaiSang blinked at this suddenly long winded person. “Mo XuanYu was going to set off that spell with or without me. His relatives were doomed to die no matter what I did or didn’t do. You say I caused unnecessary deaths? How many lives did I save by persuading him to bring back the Yiling Patriarch instead of allowing him to choose Wen RuoHan? Or someone even more evil? 

“I suppose I could have given Jiang WanYin Wei WuXian’s body when I first found it…. Not for burial, though. The fall didn’t kill him. Just smashed his head open a bit and broke lots of bones. By the time I found him, the bones had all healed, but something was still wrong…. He wouldn’t wake up no matter what his caretaker or I did. He was able to breathe and swallow liquids and so on, so she fed him and kept him clean. I was rather afraid, however, that Sect Leader Jiang would kill him instead of waiting for him to wake up.” He looked down at his fan. “I would have preferred to wait for him to finish healing and wake up on his own. However, Mo XuanYu was becoming more and more insane and more and more desperate to punish his family. I had a choice and I made it.” Nie HuaiSang straightened up to his full height. “The only other choice I had was to simply kill Mo XuanYu. But then his death was meaningless. This way at least some good came out of it.”

“Some good?” Lan WangJi let the sarcasm come through. “You choose the deaths of dozens over the death of one for the sake of one who may have healed fully on his own. You should have brought Wei WuXian to me. I would have found a healer….”

“And then what?” Nie HuaiSang spat. “The Sect leaders would have simply called for his execution again. Jin GuangYao and Su She would not be exposed for the perpetrators they were fourteen years ago. They would continue to escape all responsibility and punishment for their crimes. How many more people would they have killed in their quest for power? How many more people would Xue Yang have killed? I chose the path where dozens died to prevent the murder of hundreds.”

Lan WangJi stopped arguing and returned his gaze to his husband. It was pointless to debate hypotheticals after the deeds were done. One could come up with many alternate scenarios, but unless one was able to travel back in time to test them all, there was no way to determine which one would have the best outcome. 

If he was able to travel back in time, he would go much further back than to after Nie MingJue’s death. He would go all the way to Xuanwu’s cave and make sure Wei Ying received more of the medicine for his brand to help decrease the chance of him getting a fever. And then stay in Lotus Pier long enough to persuade Jiang FengMian to allow Wei Ying and Jiang Cheng to travel with him back to Gusu to look for his missing brother and clansmen. Lotus Pier might still have been destroyed, but Wei Ying would still have his Core and would never have cultivated resentful energy and been sentenced to death for it. He could use his knowledge of the present to change the past…. Save Wen Ning from becoming a fierce corpse. Make sure Nie MingJue executed Xue Yang. Save Jiang YanLi and Jin ZiXuan from being killed so Jin Ling would not become an orphan. Save the innocent Wen from being hunted and killed for sport. Let Wen Yuan grow up with his mother at the very least. They would still have the Yin sword and Wei Ying could still use it to create the Stygian Tiger amulet, but this would allow them access to the right books and people to make it so that it was tied to a single user so Jin GuangShao would not be tempted to try to kill Wei Ying to gain control of it. They would still take down Wen RuoHan and his sons, but the right way this time…. 

And knowing that Wei Ying was falling in love with him, he would have made sure they stayed together in both peacetime and war. He would have confessed his own love that much sooner. Had thirteen years of happiness instead of hurt and want. 

Mouth quirking upwards in response to yet another of Wei Ying’s antics, Lan WangJi could feel his lower body tightening as another wave of desire ran over him. Would this feeling of wanting and needing ever go away? He had spent most of the night pleasuring his husband to the point where his legs and waist hurt from the almost constant motion. His arms ached from holding his upper body up for so long. And his jaw was sore. He was exhausted from lack of sleep. But all he wanted, even now, was to rip Wei Ying’s trousers off and do it again. And again. 

Nie HuaiSang sighed heavily, interrupting Lan WangJi’s lustful thoughts. “I guess the poor boy didn’t inherit his father’s archery skills,” he mused.

Lan WangJi followed Nie HuaiSang’s gaze and saw his adopted son at the head of his line taking another shot at the target. The boy was a decent archer; methodical and accurate if a bit slow. He would certainly never set any records for speed or distance or dazzle anyone with his showmanship. As for whether A'Yuan inherited his skill from his father? They would never know. “I hope his birth father is proud of him.”

“Proud? Of course, he should be proud. Any man would be proud to have a son like Lan SiZhui. It’s just a shame that Jin Ling has more of Wei WuXian’s abilities than SiZhui does….”

Lan WangJi glanced down at the smaller man next to him. They seemed to be discussing two different men. “Wei WuXian has no biological children.”

Nie HuaiSang fluttered his fan rapidly. “Are you sure? Of course you’d know…. I was so sure…. The timing worked out. Wei WuXian disappeared for three months at the start of the SunShot Campaign. Four years later, you adopted a three year old….”

Lan WangJi admired the man’s ability to connect random pieces of information. Even if he connected two completely unrelated events. The taller man had no intention of informing the shorter of what actually happened during those three months or who A’Yuan’s parents actually were. “When I found him, A’Yuan’s entire family had just been murdered. I couldn’t just leave the boy to starve to death.”

“Many people would have…. What would you have done if he wasn’t able to cultivate?”

“The same as any parent of a child without that ability: help him to become the best man he can.” Lan WangJi’s eyes returned to his husband. As the last connection he had to this man, he would have cared for A’Yuan even if the boy was never able to achieve much of anything. Across the field, Wei WuXian looked over at Lan WangJi. The smile on his face… changed. How to describe two different smiles? Happy versus bliss? Cheery versus content? Eyes never leaving his target, Wi WuXian said something to the juniors and walked towards his husband. 

“That smile right there… that is why I brought Wei WuXian back to you instead of Jiang Cheng.” Nie HuaiSang stated. “He’s completely drunk just at the sight of you. He always has been. I wasn’t sure of your feelings until the night he died…. So when I had the chance to bring him back….”

“Thank you.” Lan WangJi’s voice was hoarse with repressed emotions. “Thank you for bringing him back to me.”

* * *

Lan WangJi found himself following his husband as he wandered around the city. They had left Koi Tower supposedly to buy more massage oil; their stock was down to less than half a bottle after their exertions the previous night. It wasn’t an unusual occurrence for Wei WuXian to extend their shopping excursions as various products caught his eye; however this time he was not interested in sampling any of the wines offered and had only purchased a few steamed buns and meat pies. The oddest part of those purchases was that he didn’t immediately eat them. He was looking for something specific as he practically dragged Lan WangJi up and down the different streets. 

And then they stopped. Wei WuXian looked nervous. “When she comes at me, make sure you take her wrists and not her clothes. She’ll tear them off to get away. She’ll also probably try to bite you….”

“Who’s wrists?” Lan WangJi asked as patiently as possible. 

“Hush!” Wei WuXian whispered. A few seconds later, he reached out and grabbed a young boy’s wrist. The boy immediately began twisting and turning and abruptly sitting down in a fruitless attempt to free himself; Wei WuXian moved with him and kept a firm hold. As the boy paused his struggles to ready himself for another attempt to escape, a young girl attacked Wei WuXian, hitting him with her fists and yelling for him to let go of her Didi. 

Quick as a snake, Lan WangJi reached out and pulled the girl off his husband, holding her bare wrist as directed. She immediately turned to attack him, but he took hold of her other wrist, and stated, “Stop. I have no intention to hurt you, but I will if you continue.” He Silenced the children as their yells were attracting unwanted attention. To his husband he asked, “What are we doing with these… children?”

Wei WuXian looked even more nervous. “We discussed little ones…. I’ve been keeping an eye on these two since we arrived in LanLing. Now that my sister-in-law is safe as she can be….”

Lan WangJi looked down at the street urchins still struggling in their grasps. He had underestimated his husband…. He had assumed that the mess with the Wei Sect would consume his energy now that Wen Qing was married. Perhaps teaching the juniors archery earlier had re-lit this particular need. “I thought we agreed on a year or two.”

“They don’t have a year or two, Lan Zhan. She’s already old enough to be snatched up by a madam.”

Lan WangJi led them out of the crowded street to an alley. To the little girl he said, “I’m going to remove the Silence spell. Do not scream or I’ll put it right back on. Do you understand?” The little girl nodded, terrified. 

Heedless of the dirt and filth, Wei WuXian sat down to put himself more at a height with the boy. “We’re not going to hurt you.” He removed the bag of steamed buns from his lapel pocket and handed one to each child. “Here, eat. My name is Wei WuXian. This is HanGuang-Jun. You know that cultivator’s tower in the city?” The kids nodded hesitantly. “The man who rules there is Jin RuLan. If I hurt you, you can go to the guards at Koi Tower and tell them that Wei WuXian hurt you and Jin RuLan needs to punish him.” The guards might just find this funny enough that they actually passed the message up to Jin Ling. Jin Ling would definitely find it funny and would want to meet the urchins demanding he punish his uncle. 

The girl was smart, though. “We can’t get you punished if you kill us,” she mumbled around her food. 

“I promise I won’t hurt you or kill you, Jiejie,” Wei WuXian vowed solemnly. “I would like to help you. Would you like to live in a place where you didn’t have to steal or beg for food anymore?”

“Don’t want to go to no whore house,” the boy mumbled. 

“Not a whore house. Somewhere you can run around and play for hours. And learn to read and write…”

Wei WuXian kept talking to the children, but Lan WangJi stopped listening and moved away a few feet. He had no idea how to talk to children. Even at their respective ages he hadn’t had that skill. Wei WuXian, though…. In just a few minutes of speaking with them, they were completely at ease instead of being terrified that they were about to be murdered. The boy had even crawled into A’Xian’s lap and had fallen asleep. Lan WangJi sent a butterfly message off to his brother asking for help; the little ones would need new clothing and a bath when they arrived at Koi Tower. As well as pallets and blankets set up for them. What else did small children need? Toys? 

Lan WangJi thought back to what A’Yuan had brought with him to the Jingshi: several whirly-gigs, a stick horse, toy soldiers, a wooden sword…. This boy might be too young for the soldiers, but he’d probably enjoy the whirly-gigs. And A’Yuan had enjoyed playing with the play swords even at three…. What did little girls like? Did they even make toy soldiers for girls? It’s not like female soldiers looked very different than males…. They wore the same uniform, carried similar swords. Just their facial features were more… feminine. And some had chests that were more prominent than others. 

The little boy started crying; Lan WangJi turned to see his husband holding the boy tight and rocking him trying to comfort him. The girl had a disgusted look on her face. “I told you he pisses in his sleep if he’s happy. Are you going to beat him now?” 

Wei WuXian looked puzzled. “Why should I hit him?”

“Because he peed on you!” Now Lan WangJi could smell the acrid ammonia scent. He sent another butterfly off to his brother requesting a third bath. And to ask if he knew of a spell that stopped one from wetting the bed.

Wei WuXian looked down at the boy in his arms and wiped the tears and snot away with his sleeve; Lan WangJi barely managed to not cringe at the sight. “Why should I hurt him for being happy to be sleeping in my lap? We’re washable. Just uncomfortable for a while.” He looked up at his husband, eyes pleading.  _ Can I keep them? Please? _ Receiving the slightest of nods in response, Wei WuXian grinned. 

Lan WangJi wrinkled his nose as the ammonia smell grew stronger. His husband was acting like he’d just been showered with gold and priceless gems rather than urine. How had anyone ever looked at this man and seen a monster? He needed so little to be happy: tasty food, wine, a few friends, and someone to need him. He didn’t crave power or wealth. And while he enjoyed being praised for his abilities, he was content being just another anonymous person in a crowd.

He followed his husband, now carrying the boy on his hip, through the streets back towards Koi Tower until a small hand grasped his and tugged. The little girl was gasping for breath. “Are you leaving me behind? Can you slow down? I can’t walk that fast.” 


	23. Chapter 23

_A’Xian sat down when talking to A’Yuan and to these little ones. Is that what you’re supposed to do to talk to them?_ Unsure of how to act, he knelt down bringing his eyes closer to her level. “Do you want me to carry you?” He didn’t know how to walk slowly anymore; this was the best option. He thought back to when A’Yuan first moved in with him. He had often carried the boy when they went to play with the rabbits…. Sometimes the boy had hung from his arm like he was a sack of potatoes. Sometimes he was carried on his back or hip. But the position he liked the best…. “Would you like to ride on my shoulders?” The girl nodded happily, so he stood up and swung her high. “Hold on tight,” he cautioned and took a firm grip on her legs. She was holding onto his head in a stranglehold, but it felt somewhat... comforting…. Like when A’Yuan had given him hugs back then…. “What’s your name?” He should probably stop calling her ‘the girl’ in his head.

“Liu,” she answered.

“Liu?” Her name was ‘six’?

“Yes. Yī, èr, sān, sì, wǔ, liù,” she counted. 

“And your friend?”

“The geges call him XiaoShu. Because he’s fast and sneaky like a mouse. I just call him Didi.”

Six and Little Mouse. In Cloud Recesses parents spent months trying to come up with the perfect names for their children. This poor child was just given a number. He felt a tug on his forehead. “Please don’t touch the ribbon,” he requested.

“It’s pretty. But why is it blue? XianGege is wearing black and has a black ribbon. You’re wearing white but your ribbon is blue. Why can’t I touch it?”

“Everyone in the GusuLan Clan wears a blue ribbon like this. They represent restraint and we don’t allow anyone but our families to touch them.”

“I’m sorry!” she cried out. “Are you going to hit me?”

“Child, why would I hit you? You did nothing wrong.” What was up with this child? She expected to be hit for such a trifling matter?

“But I touched the ribbon and you said I can’t.”

“Child… Liu…. If you decide to stay with us, there will be rules. And if you break the rules, you will be punished. But we will never punish you for not knowing something. There is one rule we have right now: do not touch our swords. Do you understand why this is a rule?”

“Swords are dangerous.”

“Yes. So now that you know this rule, if you touch our swords, you will be punished. My son, SiZhui, touched my sword several times when he first came to live with me. I made him kneel for fifteen minutes.”

“Kneeling? That’s not a punishment. Why didn’t you beat him?”

“Why should I hit him when no one was hurt?” _She brings up being hit a lot…._ “Liu? Do you often get beaten?”

“Not so much anymore. See?” Liu reached down and pulled up a pant leg. “I’ve only got a few bruises now, see? It was worse when Didi didn’t know to share. He wanted to keep all the food to himself; the Geges would beat him for that. I tried to protect him a bit so he wouldn’t get dead. He knows to share now, so it’s only when people get upset that I’m begging that they hit or kick me out of their way. Or if I’m working in a house or a shop and I’m clumsy…. I get beaten then, too. Didn’t you get beat when you were a kid?”

“When I was a child, no.”

“You never got beat?” Liu was amazed.

Lan WangJi nodded at the guards at the base of Koi Tower. He ignored their surprised looks at the sight of a street urchin sitting on his shoulders. “I did. Twice.” Punishments were supposed to be designed to deter one from breaking that rule again. Apparently these punishments didn’t work considering that he had willingly drank alcohol and got drunk several times since then. And brought wine into Cloud Recesses for Wei Ying to drink. And he still defended Wei Ying during the thirteen years he was gone and all the months since his resurrection. 

“Did you ever hit SuiZhi?”

“Who? Oh. SiZhui. No.”

“Why not?”

“Every time he broke a rule, I had to think of how to punish him. Nothing he did was ever bad enough that I could justify hitting him for it.”

“What if I have to touch them? The swords, I mean.”

“You will never have to touch a sword except for a wooden one until you’re old enough to get one for your own.”

“But what about when I’m cleaning? Won’t I have to move them then?”

Lan WangJi stopped walking and pulled Liu off his shoulders so he could look her in the eyes. “We’re not bringing you to Koi Tower to be a servant. You will be responsible for keeping your belongings neat and tidy. And we will teach you how to clean so that when you are grown you know how to take care of your own home. But your ‘job’ for now will to simply be our child.”

Liu started sobbing. “I don’t want to be a whore! I want to be a servant and clean your home and cook you food and wash your clothes!”

Lan WangJi had no idea how to handle a crying child. Or a crying person in general. If this was Wei Ying, he would hold him tight, though…. So he cuddled the child close to his chest and lightly rubbed her back as she hiccuped into his shoulder. “Shh… child. No one is going to force you into that… We just want to give you a home…. Somewhere to belong.” The child had a monkey grip around his body: legs wrapped tightly around his waist and arms squeezing his neck. By the time he reached his room, the sniffles and hiccups had turned into soft sighs and even breathing; the child had fallen asleep in his arms.

Li MeiLi was sitting on the steps waiting for him. “Your boys are bathing here,” she announced. “I have hot water waiting in Lan XiChen’s room for your daughter. Let me take her,” she stood up and held out her arms for the little girl. “You can go change; your clothes are filthy.”

Lan WangJi held Liu tighter. “Since she’s asleep, there’s no sense in both of us getting dirty. I’ll take her over.”

As they strolled away, Li MeiLi laughed a little. “I had a hard time picturing you as a father to a small SiZhui. You’re so stiff and stern looking all the time…. I thought maybe you’d hired a nanny to take care of him. When ZeWu-Jun said you and Master Wei were bringing back children, I thought somehow that they’d be hanging onto him and you’d be just looking on…. But it’s not like that at all, is it….” 

Lan WangJi looked down at the rat’s nest straggling across his chest; Liu had tried to tie her hair back with a fraying piece of rope; apparently she did not have access to a comb. He had no idea how to respond to Li MeiLi. When A’Yuan had arrived in his house eleven years ago, he had had no idea of how to raise the boy. Or even talk to him. The closest father figure he had to refer to was his uncle, and he had no intention of emulating that man. They had muddled through somehow; it helped that A’Yuan was naturally a well-behaved child and easily adaptable. 

“You really care for them, don’t you. You just met her and you’re half in love with her already, aren’t you.”

Lan WangJi settled Liu more comfortably in his arms. She sighed and blew bubbles against his neck, still sound asleep. “They need someone to take care of them. Wei Ying needs to be a dad, and I can’t give him his own children….”

Li MeiLi smiled at the non-answer. From the way he was cradling this child in his arms and the fact that he hadn’t given her up when the opportunity arose even though the child had dirtied his clothing, she could guess that HanGuang-Jun had needs of his own in regards to being a parent. 

* * *

Li MeiLi was learning quite fast to ignore her Master’s displays of affection for his husband. They were busy reading the report a senior Lan disciple had brought about the Yiling training facility while the children, freshly bathed, dressed in new clothing, and fed until their tummies were visibly bloated, were off exploring Koi Tower with Lan SiZhui and Jin Ling. While other sect leaders and spouses might also read reports together, she highly suspected they did not do so while one was sitting in the other’s lap and did not indicate they were done with the section by kissing the other’s neck or ear. Wei WuXian’s enjoyment in this simple pleasure was evident by his relaxed posture and soft smile every time he turned his head to place a kiss on Lan WangJi’s body. Lan WangJi’s strict posture was the same as it always was, and there was no smile evident when he received a kiss. However, Li MeiLi was quite sure that if having his husband sit on his lap and being kissed in front of others bothered him, he was capable of stopping both. So he must be enjoying this as well….

If she and Lan Huan married, would they be this affectionate, too? She had enjoyed holding hands the night before and very much enjoying kissing him…. She snuck a glance over at his hands resting gently on his knees. They weren’t the perfectly sculpted hands of an artist. Instead they were strong and callused, capable of wielding a sword with deadly force and yet gentle enough to cradle her face. 

“They tried eating while reading like this once,” Lan Huan spoke softly at her side. “WangJi put the wrong food into his mouth by accident. I wish I had been there to see it. WuXian was laughing for hours over it.” Li MeiLi tried to cover her snorting laugh with a cough and failed miserably. Since Cloud Recesses’ cuisine was famous for being notoriously bland while Lotus Pier folk were known for using an abundance of spices, she didn’t imagine either one of them enjoyed eating the other’s food. She herself preferred flavorful food with the occasional (very occasional) burst of chili, enough to make the mouth go ‘ahh!’ without needing to gulp down several glasses of water or cold tea to cool it down.

She turned her attention back to the documents on the table. The disciple had also given them a few sketches of the buildings and a roughly drawn map of the Demon’s Lair. The place had changed so much since she had left. The crude single story dorms that had housed up to sixty disciples at a time were being replaced by elegant two-storied dorms, each floor holding beds for ten students. There were proper flower beds starting to line the pathways and pretty bridges over newly created streams. Clearly the Sect had hired a master builder and a professional gardener. They were in the process of building a library: a massive three storied tower in the center of the teaching pavilions. And they were expanding the exercise field to include archery butts on the ends and pavilions for watching practice duels in the middle. This wasn’t the rough training facility she had attended; they were trying to turn the Demon’s Lair into a proper cultivation center for Master Wei. 

She calculated quickly. Twenty dorms with twenty students in each plus students still living in two of the original dorms meant almost five hundred students living in the Demon’s Lair. There were at least one hundred Wei disciples in Koi Tower and more than that wandering around unaffiliated perhaps, with those in the Demon’s Lair. And there were almost forty houses for teachers, some with two people living in them. So there were, perhaps, between seven hundred and one thousand people in the YilingWei Sect? Even if Master Wei only accepted half of the disciples, or chose to leave the Demon’s Lair alone, that was far too large of a Sect for the Sect and Clan leaders gathered in Koi Tower to ignore anymore. 

When she had lived there, the Sect was relatively poor. Disciples were expected to assist in the fields with the crops, taking care of the farm animals, and preparing meals as well as general cleaning tasks. The Lan disciple mentioned there were now proper farmers and household servants leaving the disciples with more time to train.

Putting it all together meant the Sect was earning a great deal of money somehow. The obvious answer was that they were selling their cultivation skills to the great houses and wealthy merchants in the area much like the established Clans and Sects did. Which then implied the loose-knit, rag-tag group of uneducated cultivators were no longer loose-knit, rag-tag or uneducated. 

And that meant that Lan XiChen’s worries were probably well founded. Powerful men didn’t seem to appreciate others achieving power and especially didn’t appreciate someone superseding them. That Wei WuXian could become the Sect leader overnight of a wealthy Sect with over five hundred disciples? Even if only a hundred of them were worthy of the status of senior disciple? Master Wei was going to have to come up with some sort of preventative measure or there was going to be some serious trouble in the near future. 

_Master Wei needs intelligent people at his side, not me. I can’t give him any advice! I can’t even read that report!_ Of all the people in Koi Tower, she was one of the many who should _not_ be sitting in this meeting. Even that senior disciple who had brought this information back was better prepared to answer questions about the Demon’s Lair than she was. “I still don’t know why I’m here,” Li MeiLi muttered under her breath. 

“You’re the first Wei disciple,” Lan XiChen reminded her. “You’ve got more of a right to be here than I do.” 

“Demon’s Lair! Who comes up with these names?” Wei Wuxian yelled out for the fifth time. Clearly this question was rhetorical as he had glared at HanGuang-Jun and ZeWu-Jun when they had tried to give him an answer the first two times he asked. Lan WangJi had apparently decided this time that the appropriate response to Wei WuXian yelling was to bite his shoulder. 

Li MeiLi watched Wei WuXian’s face undergo a rapid transformation after being bit. First there was a wince from the pain, which was to be expected. But then it looked like bliss? No… not bliss. That was a similar look to one Lan XiChen had after kissing her: arousal. His body stretched and rubbed against his husband’s, almost like a cat. Yes, that was a look of arousal. 

One could be aroused by biting? She knew that some animals bit their partners before mating, but she had always assumed that was a ‘hold still so we can get on with this’ kind of bite. Wei WuXian’s response was definitely not ‘OK, I’m holding still’; it was clearly more of an ‘I like it, do that again’. She peeked sideways to glance over at Lan XiChen. He had turned his head so that he wasn’t directly looking at his brother anymore. And his ear was flushing red at the top. Curious. Would he want to bite, too? Would she? 

Where would you bite to arouse? Other than the shoulder. The nose? No…. That seemed childish or unappetizing. The ear? She fixed her eyes on Lan XiChen’s ear and imagined what it would have felt like if yesterday, in addition to kissing her behind the ear, he had wrapped his lips around her earlobe and sucked and nibbled on it…. Not hard enough to draw blood, but enough to feel more than just a slight pressure…. Taking a shuddering breath, she yanked her gaze to her lap and prayed that her cheeks weren’t as red as they felt. 

Lan XiChen stood, reached down and took her hand to pull her up. “We’ll leave you two to your… report,” he announced and practically dragged Li MeiLi out of the room. Once outside, he rearranged their hands, threading his fingers with hers. “WuXian has always been shameless, but I feel like I should apologize for WangJi…. I swear sometimes he forgets that there are other people in the room.”

Li MeiLi giggled. “There’s no need to apologize. They’ve been married less than a month, right? My older sisters could be found loving their husbands in unusual places in the months after they married, too….” They walked on for a while; if there was a destination, she was unaware of it. “Lan Huan? I wonder….”

“What?”

“If we do eventually marry… will we be like that?”

“I hope not in public. But in private? I would like that.”

“Do people really enjoy biting like that?”

Lan XiChen abruptly pulled Li MeiLi into a shadowed pathway between two buildings. “If you continue to ask questions like that, I won’t hold myself responsible for my actions,” he warned. He walked her backwards until she was leaning against a building and they were pressed together from knees to chest. “My body wants to claim you as my lover, my wife.” She could feel the physical evidence of his desire pulsing against her middle. He lowered his forehead to gently rest against the top of her head. “It’s already difficult to not touch you as I want to. I have to remind myself that you’re not mine, yet.”

Li MeiLi wrapped her arms around Lan XiChen’s neck and pulled him down to kiss him. After a few minutes, she pushed him away slightly, staring at their feet in embarrassment. “I feel like I should melt into a puddle every time I kiss you.”

“LiLi….” Li MeiLi looked up, startled at the endearment. “Can I call you that?” She nodded, suddenly feeling shy. “LiLi…. I love hearing you laugh. I love how you look for the good in everyone. I love holding you in my arms. And kissing you. I love your smile. I love how I feel when I’m with you. I love waking up in the morning knowing I’m going to see you. I love falling asleep and dreaming about you. I long for the day when you’re the last person I see at night and the first person I see in the morning. I love learning how you think. LiLi… I’m falling in love with you.” He looked into her eyes earnestly, hoping to see his love reflected there. “I _am_ going to ask you to marry me…. Please tell me you’re considering saying yes.”

Li MeiLi had no idea of what to say. All the arguments she had made over the last few days seemed to have faded away. “A’Chen,” she finally whispered. “I’m falling in love with you, too….”


	24. Chapter 24

The door hadn’t completely shut behind Lan XiChen but Wei Ying had already turned in his husband’s lap to kiss him. Even as their mouths licked and sucked, their hands were busy untying the other’s sash and robes. Pulling back slightly, Wei Ying lightly pushed Lan Zhan to lay down on the floor. “I want you,” he almost begged as his hands fought with the ties holding his trousers up. 

Lan Zhan admired the half naked man kneeling over him. “Ride me,” he commanded. “I want to watch you fly….”

“Yes,” Wei Ying hissed in eagerness. Both of their trousers were still on, but that didn’t stop Lan Zhan from bucking his hips up in a fruitless attempt to gain entry. “This would be easier if I got off of you,” Wei Ying grumbled. 

“No,” Lan Zhan ordered and sat up, holding his lover tight. Wei Ying flung his head back in abandonment as Lan Zhan attacked his neck and nipples: caressing, licking, and biting. Eventually, they managed to unclothe themselves enough for Lan Zhan to position Wei Ying above him and shove his hips up while pulling Wei Ying’s shoulders down, impaling the younger man. 

Wei Ying bit his lower lip at the initial rush of pain; it seemed that no matter how often they did this, the first push inside stretched him... burned. But then… Lan Zhan tilted Wei Ying’s body so that he brushed right over Wei Ying’s pleasure spot. “So good!” Wei Ying gasped. “Lan Zhan… I lo-hove you! Lo-hove this!” he blurted. Strong thighs propelled him up and down in counterpoint to Lan Zhan’s steady thrusts. Almost every time they did this, Wei Ying promised himself that he would go slow and savor the experience. Just enjoy the feelings and prolong the ending. Even as he made this vow again, his hand reached down to stroke himself to a quick release. 

Lan Zhan stopped him. “No hands,” he insisted. “Just me.” With his hands held firm, Wei Ying would be forced to work himself into a frenzy in his quest for release. His stomach muscles tightened in anticipation of that sight. “You feel so good around me,” he murmured. “So soft and warm. So tight.” 

Wei Ying’s legs lost their rhythm upon hearing his husband speak; Lan Zhan never spoke love words during sex. He tried to regain it, but Lan Zhan constantly changed his own speed to throw him off. So, finally, he tried to stay still and let the rod inside him repeatedly attack that little spot. He felt the first tinglings as his muscles started to contract. “Lan Zhan, don’t stop,” he begged. “Right there. Yes, there. Dear Gods. Don’t stop.” He had no idea what he was babbling anymore; the waves of pleasure were rippling from his feet to his head. Over and over. Until finally they crashed and he spurted his release all over Lan Zhan’s belly and chest. His release triggered Lan Zhan’s, and he felt the rod inside him grow even thicker until it too started pulsing and he could feel the hot liquid dripping out of him.

Wei Ying’s limbs were trembling with aftershocks, but he managed to collapse almost gracefully at Lan Zhan’s side. “My knees hurt,” he groused after a few minutes.

“I think I have a splinter in my shoulder,” Lan Zhan countered.

“We have a bed. We really should use it,” Wei Ying reminded them both. 

“Mmm. I didn’t want to wait.” 

Wei Ying rolled himself onto his side, holding his head up in his palm. “You’re so beautiful,” he sighed. “Even covered in all our stuff….” He ran a finger through the rapidly cooling semen on Lan Zhan’s belly. “I want to come inside you. I want you to feel what I feel when you’re inside me. I want to experience what you feel.” Looking down at Lan Zhan’s paler than normal face, he went on to reassure his lover. “I will make it good for you. If you don’t like it, we can stop…. Please, Lan Zhan…. Think about it.” They had discussed this only the one time. Lan Zhan had expressed his willingness to be penetrated, yet in the almost two months since that night, he had never offered or asked for it. Wei Ying loved being intimately connected to his husband, loved being pleasured inside and out. He yearned to give that connection to Lan Zhan, too.

Lan Zhan swallowed audibly and nodded. Wei Ying searched his lover’s face for any other reaction. Nervousness? Fear? Desire? Anything! But Lan Zhan’s features may as well have been carved in stone. He drew the cleansing talisman, further smearing the fluid on his husband’s body. And still no reaction aside from Lan Zhan sliding his legs apart. Wei Ying sat up and moved so that he could better see what he was doing. Between the semen and massage oil that had dripped down, there was plenty of lubrication already coating the area. Wei Ying inched the tip of a finger into the tight hole; other than a slight hitch in Lan Zhan’s breathing, there was still no reaction. “Tell me honestly,” he implored. “Do you want me to continue?”

“I honestly want you to continue,” Lan Zhan responded. 

“Why?”

“Because you want it.”

Wei Ying’s face darkened in anger and frustration. He wiped his fingers on the fluid stained clothing. “You can’t give me everything I want just because I want it.”

Lan Zhan sat up. “If what you want is within my abilities, why not?” 

“What if I want Jiang Cheng’s head on my wall?” 

Lan Zhan pretended to consider. “It’s within my abilities…” he mused. “If it had been right after you returned, I would not have hesitated. On Dafan mountain… after he whipped you, it would have been my pleasure. With all that has happened since, though, especially over the last few days, I would ask you to take a day to think if this is really what you want. Wen Qing still needs protecting, and I don’t think she would be willing to be our concubine if I killed her husband…. We’d probably have to marry her off to Nei HuaiSang.

“If you want sex, I can give you that. You coming inside of me? I never really thought about it. In my fantasies, it was always me going inside of you. I am willing to try, though. For you. If you want me to leave you? Please don’t ask me for that. I can’t.... Those children today? And all of the others who will follow you into our home?

“Liu… I’d almost forgotten the feeling of holding a sleeping child. You… holding XiaoShu… you looked so beautiful together.”

“And what if I want a child of my blood?” Wei Ying countered.

“We will figure that out. We’re the two most powerful cultivators in the region. And you’re the smartest person alive. Finding a concubine to carry your children won’t be a problem. The problems will be... how did you put it? Forcing yourself to fuck a woman you don’t love and my jealousy of her place in your bed. Especially if you do start to love her. But I have no doubt that together we can find a way around those issues.” Lan Zhan leaned forward to place a kiss first on one side of Wei Ying’s neck, and then a second on the other side. “Wei Ying? If I asked you for something, would you deny me?” He ducked his head a bit to place a third kiss in the hollow of Wei Ying’s throat.

“No.” Wei Ying tilted his head back to grant Lan Zhan better access.

Lan Zhan pulled on Wei Ying’s ass to get him to kneel up, putting his nipples right at the level of Lan Zhan’s mouth. “What if I asked for something unreasonable?” He casually sucked on the right nipple, feeling it pebble up in his mouth. He felt more than saw Wei Ying’s frantic nod. Lips twitching upwards at the thought of a speechless Wei Ying, he moved to suckle the left nipple. “Hmm?”

“You know very well that I could never deny you anything!” Wei Ying gasped.

“Good.” Lan Zhan pushed Wei Ying down to lay on the floor. “I want you under me this time.” He held Wei Ying’s legs apart and watched as he slid himself back into his lover’s body. “You can touch me all you want, but you cannot touch yourself.”

Wei Ying shuddered at the welcome intrusion. “You feel so good inside me.” He pulled his husband’s head down for a kiss; against his lips, he whispered, “I love you, Lan Zhan.”

* * *

Li MeilLi stopped at the edge of the garden. A Koi Tower page had given her a brief message: Master Wei would like for her to attend him here. It was a beautiful spot, terraced and covered in flowers and small trees with winding stone pathways. On the upper terrace, above where she stood, were three handsome men looking all mysterious and important. On the lower terrace, below where she stood, was a grassy area full of youngsters and Master Wei playing some sort of running and touching game and waving sticks as if they were swords. Whatever it was, it involved lots of laughing and yelling, and even from this distance she could see the teenagers’ faces were shiny with sweat from the exercise. On Li MeiLi’s level stood Wen Qing, hiding from the sun under an umbrella and looking up at the men above. Li MeiLi followed Wen Qing’s gaze to admire the man standing in the middle. 

Lan XiChen. Just the sight of him made her body feel strange. An unfamiliar but welcome ache. Her breasts felt heavy and her stomach knotted up. That area between her legs felt empty. The skin on her neck and collarbone felt stretched too thin. She closed her eyes thinking of how it felt when he had pressed her into the wall earlier…. That had intensified the feelings… and soothed them at the same time. She wanted that again….  _ I want him _ . Was this how he was going to finally persuade her to marry him? Overwhelming lust? 

There were consequences to lying with a man, and she had been taught that it was preferable to bear those consequences married than alone. But surely those consequences didn’t happen every time a man bedded a woman…. Or there would be far more children born to prostitutes. So there had to be a way to prevent conception. Especially since they were cultivators. That had to be good for something other than killing fierce corpses and spiritual creatures. She opened her eyes to see he was looking down at her, and desire slammed her body harder. It was like she could feel his need fueling hers…. 

“Jiang Cheng asked if I would mind sharing our wedding ceremony with ZeWu-Jun. I would not have minded, but I didn’t think he was the kind of man who would marry after knowing a woman for only a few days. Then I met you, and I could see that you probably would marry before the year ended. Now….” Wen Qing sounded thoughtful. “Now I wonder if you should have taken your bows with us….”

Li MeiLi blushed. “We didn’t…. We haven’t….” she stammered.

Wen Qing smiled. “It’s not uncommon for couples to wed after they have shared a bed. There are quite a few men and women who prefer it, actually. Compatibility in bed is an important aspect of marriage. And some women use it to prove they are fertile and can give the man a son. The GusuLan Sect Rules do imply that one should be a virgin on one’s wedding night, though….”

“The GusuLan have rules about that?” Li MeiLi was incredulous.

“Not explicitly, no…. But promiscuity is forbidden. As is pre-marital sex. And concubines are frowned upon. So… virgins. Assuming, of course, that they follow the Rules. I don’t see ZeWu-Jun as being the kind of man to have casual lovers or to visit prostitutes.”

“We haven’t done  _ that _ ,” Li MeiLi insisted, her face a brilliant red. “We’ve just kissed a few times.” 

“If you insist…. If you have any questions about it, feel free to ask; I am a doctor. Or I can find some books for you, if you’d prefer.”

“I can’t read very well,” Li MeiLi mumbled.

“Oh. Well, I’m sure your mother told you the basics of how things work. If not or if you have more advanced questions, please ask. Or I might be able to find some books with detailed drawings. And if you want to prevent pregnancy, I can teach you a talisman.”

Li MeiLi nodded, mumbled an excuse about needing to talk to Master Wei and scurried away to the lower terrace. She held both hands to her cheeks, hoping to cool them down before the children asked why she was blushing. 

* * *

Lan JingYi bared his teeth at Liu and stomped awkwardly, pretending to be a fierce corpse. She shrieked and hid behind Lan SiZhen, “Gege! Gege! Save me!” 

Lan SiZhen swung his stick-sword unnecessarily dramatically and yelled, “Have no fear, Meimei, I will vanquish this fearsome creature for you!” 

Jin Ling was resting on the grass, having been ‘defeated’ only a few minutes earlier. “LiuMei, please ignore my cousin’s foolish attempts to impress you. If that was a real creature on a night hunt, you’d be eaten up already.”

OuYang ZiZhen plopped down next to Jin Ling. “XiaoShu needs to learn to respect his elders,” he complained and rubbed at a red line on his arm from where the child’s stick-sword had slashed him. “Hey! Master Wei!” he yelled out. “I thought you were going to be teaching us about the rare creatures on the night hunts! Not having us pretend to be them!”

Wei WuXian stopped running, and grimaced when XiaoShu’s stick hit his legs. He deftly wrestled it away from the boy before it could hit him again. “The key word in the phrase ‘rare creatures’ is the word ‘rare’. If they were easy to find, they wouldn’t be rare! The Lan disciples we sent out haven’t returned yet.”

“But the conference is almost over!” OuYang ZiZhen complained. “I’ll be eighteen next month, so I’ll never get to learn about them from you!”

“I will,” his younger sister taunted. “I still haven’t done my training at Cloud Recesses.” She fluttered her eyes coquettishly towards Lan SiZhui. “My invitation arrived just before we left for Koi Tower.” He studiously ignored her flirting. 

OuYang ZiZhen ignored his sister as well. “Master Wei, can’t you have a class and at least tell us how to defeat them?”

Wei WuXian sighed. “It’s better to have them in front of you. Learning how to defeat monsters from a book rarely ends well for the cultivator. The disciples have instructions to bring them to Cloud Recesses if they can’t get them until after the Conference is over. SiZhui can send you a message once we get them, and you can come to us for classes then.”

“But then I’ll look silly! Think of it! A grown man, already sworn to my Sect, studying about rare beasts like a child,” OuYang ZiZhen pouted. “It’s not fair that only the Lan disciples will get to learn from you. It should be like the archery today where everyone from all the Sects could come and learn.”

OuYang XiaoDan posed with her fists on her hips. “You’ve just spent an hour running around pretending to be a beast to impress Master Wei and you think you’ll look silly sitting in a classroom with your juniors learning how to defeat rare monsters?” She looked up at the sky, exasperated. “I cannot believe he’s related to me.” She looked back down at her brother, “Are you sure one of us isn’t adopted?”

“It’s not nice to talk about being adopted,” Lan JingYi mumbled. “Especially around….” his voice trailed off when Lan SiZhui glared at him. 

“What’s wrong with talking about adoption?” Wei WuXian asked. “When people have children born to them, they get what they get. But when they adopt, they get to choose the child they want.” He bent down and picked XiaoShu up so the two were face to face. “Do you understand that little one? Lan WangJi and I choose to have you as our son. And we hope that someday you will choose to have us as your fathers.”

“What about me?” Liu asked sadly.

Lan SiZhui picked her up. “My parents died when I was a baby, and I went to live with Grannie and my Jiejie and Gege and lots of uncles and aunts. One time when I was about three, I asked my Gege to give me older brothers and sisters. He died soon after that, so he wasn’t able to give me any. Then I was adopted by HanGuang-Jun. Now that XianBaba has married my father, I’ve asked  _ him _ for more brothers and sisters. They’ll have to be younger than me, though, since I’m almost all grown up…. XianBaba thinks that you and XiaoShu could be my very first Meimei and Didi. Do you think that someday you might like that?”

“But I’m a thief,” Liu whispered. 

“So was XianBaba,” Lan SiZhui whispered back. “But then he got adopted and didn’t have to steal to eat anymore.”

“XianBaba was a thief?” Liu’s eyes were as wide as dinner plates.

Lan SiZhui nodded and smiled a bit brighter. She had been calling him ‘XianGege’ earlier, so was the ‘XianBaba’ a slip of the tongue or…. “You won’t have to steal anymore, either. Even if you don’t decide to join our family, Father and Baba will make sure you have more than enough to eat, a warm place to sleep, and clean clothes. You can go to school and grow up healthy and strong.”

“HanGunJu said he never beat you.”

“HanGuang-Jun,” he gently corrected. “No, he never hit me. Not even when I snuck out at night to sleep with the rabbits, and he was scared that I’d run away.”

“You have rabbits? Do they taste good? I’ve never eaten a rabbit, but I smelled a cooked one once when I was working in a kitchen….”

Lan SiZhui laughed. “Rabbits taste yummy. But we don’t eat these. These are my father’s pets, and they’re just for playing with. When we go back to Cloud Recesses, I’ll show you my favorite spot. There’s a little hollow in the ground, and when I was XiaoShu’s age, Uncle XiChen would dump me in it and cover me up with rabbits.”

“Uncle XiChen?”

Lan SiZhui pointed to the top terrace, “The man next to HanGuang-Jun is Uncle XiChen. He’s called ZeWu-Jun. And the one next to him is Sect Leader Jiang WanYin. He’s Xian Baba’s adopted brother and Jin Ling’s other uncle.” He pointed at the women on the middle terrace. “The woman under the umbrella is Wen Qing; she and Jiang WanYin just got married yesterday. The other woman is going to be ZeWu-Jun’s wife; her name is Li MeiLi.”

“She gave me a bath and combed my hair. She laughs too much.”

“I think she laughs just the right amount. It means she’s happy. I much prefer to have a happy aunt than a sad one. Just like I would like my Meimei to be happy.”

“You don’t mind that I’m a thief?”


	25. Chapter 25

Lan SiZhui hugged the child gently to his chest. “I will mind if you continue to steal. But I won’t condemn you for anything you did before Father and Baba brought you home.”

“What does condemn mean?”

“It’s kind of like between blame and punish.”

“So I won’t get beat for stealing yesterday, but I will if I steal tomorrow?”

Lan SiZhui looked helplessly at his Baba. He had no idea how to respond to that. 

“You won’t be beaten for stealing tomorrow, either,” Wei WuXian affirmed. “If you steal, I will find it out and I will make you take it back or work to replace it. If there is something you want, ask for it. If what you want is reasonable, you will get it or we will give you some chores to do to work for it. But I promise you this: I will never hit you. And I will never ask someone else to hit you for me.”

“XianGege? Did you ever get beat?” XiaoShu asked. 

“Oh loads of times!” Wei WuXian boasted before remembering that he was supposed to be alleviating the children's fears. “But I was a very naughty child, and my adopted mother wanted me to be more obedient like Jiang WanYin. I was forever getting in trouble and being punished for it. My adoptive father would make me kneel on pebbles for hours.” He narrowed his eyes at the child in his arms, but the smile in his voice and on his face stopped him from appearing stern. “I recommend that you be handsome like me and smart like me, but I don’t recommend that you be naughty like me!” Seeing Li MeilLi walking down the terrace stairs, he abruptly changed the subject. “Why don’t you and Liu pick the prettiest flowers and give them to your aunt over there?” He pretended to drop the boy to the ground; XiaoShu shrieked happily at the stomach churning sensation and ran to find a pretty flower. Liu wiggled out of Lan SiZhui’s grasp and went off to find her own, prettier, flower to give. 

Momentarily freed from children, Wei WuXian walked over to greet his disciple. “The closing banquet is tomorrow night,” he informed her. “You have a choice to make: one: wear your new uniform; you will walk in behind me. But before that, bring your belongings from the dorm to the Blooming Gardens. You’ll be staying there overnight. We’ll set protection spells all around it to keep you safe. Or if you prefer, you can stay with ZeWu-Jun.”

“Stay the night alone with him?” Li MeiLi gulped.

“Or two,” he continued as if he hadn’t been interrupted. “Wear one of your other robes, and walk in with Lan XiChen as his acknowledged wife to be. I personally think that is the better option for you, but if you choose that, I definitely think he will ask you to sleep in his room.”

“What about a third option where I don’t attend this banquet at all? I didn’t go to the opening banquet, after all.”

“Not an option. If tensions are going to spill over about the Demon’s Lair, the perfect time to do so while I’m here at Koi Tower will be at that banquet. You’re involved with this now, unfortunately. You need to stay near either Lan XiChen or myself so we can protect you.” He let out a double ‘oof!’ as first one child and then the other barreled into him. “Say hello to your Aunt MeiLi,” he ordered. 

Two little fists offered up flowers as their owners called out ‘hello’. Li MeiLi smiled broadly as she accepted them. “Do you have any idea of how you’re going to stop the tension?” she asked after they ran off to play some more with the juniors.

“I’ve had hundreds of ideas, but I don’t think any of them will work.”

“At least Cloud Recesses will give you sanctuary until you can find the solution.”

Wei WuXian stared at his disciple as thoughts spun in his head. “What did you say?”

“I said, at least you have sanctuary at Cloud Recesses. Why?”

Wei WuXian looked up at his husband who was walking down to the bottom terrace and grinned widely. “My dear disciple. You need to stop telling yourself that you’re stupid. You are actually very smart. Not as smart as me, of course, but still very smart.”

Wei WuXian motioned his husband to join him away from the others running around. “I need to go to Yiling.”

Lan WangJi nodded. “Do you want me to go with you?”

“I think not,” Wei WuXian said slowly. “I’ll take SiZhui and Jin Ling and your brother, if he wants. And Wen Ning. I’d prefer that one of us stay near the children at all times for the next few months.” He thought for a moment. “If Liu is anything like I was, she’s going to need almost constant reassurance that we’re really going to keep her and keep her safe and well.”

“She is rather fixated on being beaten,” Lan WangJi mused.

“I’m sure being kicked out of the way was a daily occurrence. As well as being hit for any little mistake she made when she found work. She’s probably going to hide food; keep an eye on it, and we’ll have to make sure to replenish it when it gets stale and before it gets moldy or attracts vermin.” At Lan WangJi’s questioning look, Wei WuXian explained. “It’s not going to sink in for months that she’s safe with us. Maybe even a year. She’s going to spend an awful lot of time waiting, expecting, to be sent away. Food is scarce out there, so she’s going to hide enough that she can survive for a while before she resorts to stealing again. XiaoShu should be less worried because he’s younger, but he’ll follow his Jiejie’s instructions for now.”

Lan WangJi reached out to caress his lover’s cheek. “How long did it take for you to realize you weren’t going to be sent away from the Jiang household?”

Wei WuXian snuggled into the slight embrace, drawing strength and love from it as if it was a full-body hug. “With Madame Wu whipping me for even the tiniest of mistakes?” He laughed humorlessly. “I knew after a few months Uncle wouldn’t send me away…. I never felt that reassurance from Madame Wu. There was always the fear that if he died, she would ban me from Lotus Pier.”

Lan WangJi watched his husband leave the garden and clenched his jaw in anger. He should be in that group going to Yiling. He should be the one protecting Wei WuXian! Even though the new Core was all sorted out, and Wei Ying’s martial skills were near to where they were twenty years ago, and he didn’t need the sort of protection he had after the resurrection. 

Yes, the children needed a parental figure with them. It was fine for A’Yuan to watch them for an hour or two, but Wei Ying might be gone overnight; they couldn’t leave the children alone for that long. Was this how women felt watching their men go off to a night hunt or to war?  _ I’m the husband! _ Regardless of him putting the ribbon on Wei Ying’s head first during the wedding, everyone knew who the ‘husband’ was and who was the ‘wife’! Didn’t he prove that night after night and even sometimes during the day?  _ So why am I the one left home watching the children and worrying about his safety? _

On top of that, it appeared that his experience of being A’Yuan’s father was going to be practically useless. By the time he had emerged from seclusion, A’Yuan had already worked through any issues he had had about losing his family. And XiChen had told him lots of stories so that when they did move in together, the adjustment period was minimal. With these little ones, he would be front and center to their worries and needs, and tonight he was on his own…. 

_ On our own _ …. The children would need a bath before sleeping. Hopefully they wouldn’t need to have their hair washed again…. XiaoShu was too little to bathe by himself; at least he was a boy. Liu, though… after living on the streets for the gods knew only how long, did she know how to bathe herself? He knew that mothers bathed their little boys and he assumed fathers could bathe their little girls…. But at some point, there had to be a point where it stopped, right? At some point it switched from being normal behavior to being perverted, right? At six, SiZhui could wash himself; he just needed help with his hair. So SiZhui had knelt, shirtless, head hung over the tub while his hair was washed and rinsed and then pinned up out of the way. Lan WangJi supposed he could do the same thing with Liu; six year old’s chests looked pretty much the same regardless of gender…. 

Jiang Cheng marched over. “He went off to see that training place in Yiling?” Lan WangJi nodded. “I suppose it’s a good thing to get a first hand account of what’s going on there…. Has there been any movement here in Koi Tower against the Wei disciples?”

“Not yet. We think that if anything happens it’s going to be during the banquet tomorrow.”

“Sounds right. I’d do it there, too. ShiXiong has yet to attend a banquet here without being the cause of a mess of one sort or another….” Across the field, XiaoShu tackled the back of Lan JingYi’s knees and managed to knock him over. “As if there wasn’t enough trouble going on in your life, you decide to take in two children? Do you just give him everything he wants?” Jiang Cheng sounded exasperated with an undertone of laughter. 

Lan WangJi looked at the other man, but didn’t reply. ‘I’ve given my husband everything he’s asked for except for my ass, and he’ll probably get that once he comes back’ was  _ not _ a socially acceptable response. Neither was the retort ‘why aren’t you still in bed with your wife?’ Wei WuXian might have asked that. Then again, Wei WuXian was completely shameless. Lan WangJi may have thickened his face when it came to publicly showing some of his love and need for his husband over the past months, but he still had enough shame to keep quiet about other people’s bed matters. 

“He’s not going to stop with two, you know,” Jiang Cheng continued. “If ever a man was born to be a mother, he’d be it.”

It was interesting that Jiang Cheng was still insisting that Wei WuXian was the wife when he was the one off on an adventure, and it was Lan WangJi left home to care for the children. “It’s a man’s duty to keep his spouse happy. Being a father makes Wei Ying happy. So if he wants children, I’ll give him as many as he can handle.” 

“You say that with the vast experience of a man who’s been married for two weeks,” Jiang Cheng scoffed.

“I said my vows months ago in Lotus Pier,” Lan WangJi retorted.  _ The same day that we saved you from Su She’s puppets. And you tried to whip him for showing his respect to your sister and parents. _ Lan WangJi let the hurt invade his voice; this man had both willingly and unwittingly taken everything from Wei WuXian. Jiang Cheng ducked his head in repentance and guilt. “In a few months when Wen Qing is healthy and she wants to give you a child, will you deny her?”

Jiang Cheng ignored that question, and looked around to make sure they were not in earshot of anyone else. “Why my brother?” he asked, uncomfortable with the topic.

“I could ask you, ‘Why Wen Qing’?” Lan WangJi responded.

“But you hated him!”

Lan WangJi looked coolly at his brother-in-law. “I never hated him.”  _ How would you have reacted? You, too, have spent your whole life being told that someday you’ll meet a girl you like, or your parents like, get married, and have children with her. Only I found out that it’s not a girl I liked, but a boy who was attracted to women! Cutsleeves are denounced and ridiculed everywhere they go. How was I supposed to have handled being a shy sixteen and seventeen year old infatuated with a boy who could never love me back! _

It was quite clear from Jiang Cheng’s expression that he did not believe that. “You certainly acted like you hated him.” Lan WangJi stayed silent; he felt no need to justify his actions to this man. After a few minutes, Jiang Cheng cleared his throat. “I’m going to tell you the same thing I told Jin ZiXuan when he married Shijie: you hurt him, and I’ll kill you. Even if it’s the last thing I do, I’ll kill you.”

Lan WangJi snorted in derision. Both men knew it  _ would _ be the last thing Jiang Cheng ever did; even if he survived battling Lan WangJi, Wei WuXian would ensure his death. “You don't have to worry. I understand him better than anyone.”

Jiang Cheng bristled. “I lived with him for eight years; you’ve spent less than two years total with him. What presumption!”

“Do you know why he went to the Nightless City that night?”

“Of course. To kill the sect leaders who killed his Wen friends.”

“Why did he commit suicide?”

“Because he didn’t want anyone to claim the glory of killing the Yiling Patriarch.”

“Wrong on both accounts.” Lan WangJi’s voice was firm in it’s conviction.

“So why, then.”

_ Because there was only one person left who hadn’t yet abandoned him and he couldn’t bear to have her leave him, too. _ “He went to the Nightless City to have me kill him.” He ignored Jiang Cheng’s gasp of horror. “But I wouldn’t do it. So….”  _ He was in so much pain…. _ “You saw him smiling as he fell. He was relieved it was finally going to be over.”

“Why you?”Jiang Cheng asked flatly. “Why did he want  _ you _ to be the one to kill him.”

“He thought, rather incorrectly, that I would somehow be OK with it even if it came out that he was innocent. ” 

Jiang Cheng understood what was not overtly stated: the twenty-one year old Wei WuXian knew he was innocent and knew that no one would believe him, and so was determined to die on his own terms. When death was the only outcome, the only choice he had was who would kill him. Jiang Cheng looked over at his brother-in-law. If he had to choose his own executioner, HanGuang-Jun  _ would _ be the ideal choice. Death would be clean and quick, and there would be no gloating afterwards. Jiang Cheng clenched his jaw in anger at himself; he had almost taken the last of his ShiXiong’s choices away from him. “You’ll keep him happy?” 

Lan WangJi nodded solemnly; he would do anything, give anything, to keep his love happy. 

* * *

If there was such a thing as a god of in-laws, Li MeiLi was its gift to Lan WangJi. Not only did she help with feeding the children at dinner, she also bathed Liu again. And after bath time was over, she sat both children in her lap and told them bedtime stories. More than one described the glorious feats of Wei WuXian during the SunShot campaign. And one was of the epic battles in XuanWu’s cave. Lan WangJi blinked at her during this one; the story had almost no resemblance to any actual event other than there being an ancient turtle-like being and the two people who killed it. For that matter, the other stories were also heavily embellished. “What nonsense are you telling the children?” he finally demanded.

“They’ll learn the dry history lessons soon enough. Bedtime stories are supposed to be exciting! So that when you sleep, you can continue the stories in your dreams. Right?” she asked each of the children. Receiving happy nods in return, she smacked a kiss on each of their foreheads. “There! An official cultivator mark for good dreams. Give that a few minutes to sink into your brains, and no bad dream will dare disturb you tonight!”

Li MeiLi left soon after leaving Lan WangJi alone with the children. He helped them set up their sleeping pallets and blankets and tucked them in with a soft good night and let them know that he would be at the desk all night if they needed him.

Of course, XiaoShu needed him immediately, crying hysterically. Lan WangJi cuddled the boy, feeling helpless as the little one refused to say why he was crying. After about a quarter of an hour had passed, Liu spoke up. “He’s afraid he’s going to piss in his blankets tonight.”

Lan WangJi held the boy tighter. “Is that what you’re afraid of? You don’t have to worry about it. I asked my brother for help right after we picked you up this morning. Do you feel this design on your trousers and shirt?” The little boy followed Lan WangJi’s hand to feel the embroidery on his legs. “It’s a talisman designed for children who sometimes wet their beds. If you need to use the latrine tonight, you will wake up instead of soiling the bedding. And I’ll be right over there,” he pointed to the desk, “and I’ll help you.”

XiaoShu rubbed his cheeks with his fists. “You did that for me?”

“Of course,” Lan WangJi ran what he hoped was a soothing hand up and down the little one’s back. “It must be rather unpleasant to wake up all smelly and wet and cold. XianGege and I don’t want that for you. You’ll grow out of it eventually and another child can use these clothes to stay dry and warm at night.”

XiaoShu looked solemnly up at the man holding him. “Do you really want to be my father? The nice kind that feeds you lots of rice and sweets? Or the kind that kicks you off of the wagon and says ‘I don’t want to see your face ever again. I hope you and your whore mother die, you rotten bastard’?”

Lan WangJi’s heart broke at the thought of this little boy being abandoned for the apparent sins of his mother. Feeling tears welling up in his own eyes, he promised, “I’ll be the father who makes sure you have plenty of vegetables and meat to go with your rice. XianGege will most likely be the one feeding you sweets until your belly is too full for dinner. I really, really hope that you will someday call me father and let me call you my son. But even if you decide you don’t want that, I will still make sure you get plenty of vegetables and meat with your rice and XianGege will still feed you sweets.”

“Ok,” the little one sighed. And feeling safe and secure for the first time in months, he fell right asleep. Lan WangJi waited a few moments before tucking the child in his blankets for the second time that night.

“Did you mean what you said?” Liu asked from her pallet. 

Lan WangJi nodded firmly. “I have no reason to lie to you.”

“You would lie if you planned to hurt us.”

Lan WangJi looked down at the little girl looking so defiantly up at him. “If I wanted to hurt you, I would still have no reason to lie. I am older than you, stronger than you, more powerful than you. Whatever I chose to do to you, you would not be able to stop me.” Instead of cowering in the face of this ultimatum, Liu raised her chin and tried to look fierce. “XianGege…” Lan WangJi continued in a gentle voice, “was away for thirteen years. He missed watching SiZhui grow up. He missed watching Jin Ling grow up. He wants to be your father so much…. Why would I want to hurt something so precious to him? Even a hurt that doesn’t scar like a lie?”

“If XianGege wants children so much, why doesn’t he tell his wife?”

“XianGege doesn’t have a wife. He has a husband: me.”

“That’s not how it’s supposed to be.” The little girl sounded confused.

Lan WangJi tried to reassure her. “Some men love women and vice versa. Some men love other men. Some women love other women. As long as they are happy with each other, does it really matter to you who they marry?”

“You love XianGege?”

“Yes.”

“And you love ZhuiGege?”

“Yes. And we want to love you, too.”

“HanGuJu? If I decide to be your daughter, what would I call you?”

“You will call me Father. And XianGege will be Baba.”

“Would you mind if I try it out sometimes? For pretend and not for real?”

“Of course not. How about this? When you do finally mean it for real, you can touch our forehead ribbons. Because only our family can touch them.”

Liu nodded in agreement. “Then… goodnight… Father,” she said cautiously.

The edge of Lan WangJi’s mouth tipped upwards a bit. “”Goodnight… daughter.”


	26. Chapter 26

Lan WangJi sat at the desk to read. He had a clear view of the children lying on their pallets and they of him if they woke up during the night. After about an hour, the little boy started whimpering. A few moments later, he curled up in a ball. Then his hands and feet started lashing out as if he was fighting something. Lan WangJi could only look helplessly at the child; he had no experience in dealing with this kind of nightmare…. A’Yuan had always woken up from his, startled and panting, but a cup of water and a pat on the head was enough to soothe him enough to be able to sleep again. Wei WuXian’s nightmares were soothed by sex. 

He sighed and went over to the boy; if he didn’t do something to help, the poor child was going to punch or kick Liu. Or start screaming. _How do you help a child still caught in a nightmare?_ He felt like a bumbling oaf patting the child’s back. And it wasn’t helping; the child’s whimpers were getting louder. And he was still fighting with his hands and feet whatever he was fighting in his dream. Rubbing XiaoShu’s back helped soothe the physical actions, but the whimpers were now full-on crying. 

Liu sat up and rubbed her eyes. “You can wake him up.” She yawned loudly, not covering her mouth at all. “That’s what I do.”

Lan WangJi was uncertain about that. “I once heard a grannie say to her daughter the one rule of sleeping babies is to not wake them up unless you have to.”

Liu yawned again. “That’s for infants. Didi is old enough.” She yawned a few more times. “I suppose you shouldn’t wake him up, though….”

“Why not?” Now he was really confused.

“That auntie… she gave him a kiss to protect him from nightmares. And now he has one. The kiss didn’t work. He’s little, so he doesn’t understand why people lie. You gottta rub his back harder so he feels it in his sleep.”

Lan WangJi increased the pressure on XiaoShu’s back, and the boy’s whimpers died down after a few minutes. “How do you know so much about this?”

“When I got big, I took care of the babies at night while the ladies worked. My mom said I needed to leave ‘cause the guests started to ask when I would be old enough to work, too. Madame said I was old enough to start dance lessons and maybe teach me to play an instrument or sing.” Lan WangJi felt his stomach drop at these casual admissions. It seemed the poor child had been raised in a pleasure house, where the courtesans were trained to be more than just prostitutes. “My mom found me a place in a rich home; I was the third nursemaid! Mostly I washed the babies’ clothing and carried water for their baths. Fourth wife didn’t like that I came from a whore house, and she was the favorite wife because she bore the first son…. So she kicked me out after a while. But I know all about how to take care of babies. How come you don’t?”

“SiZhui didn’t come into my home until he was six,” he admitted after a pause. “He never had nightmares like this.”

“You could tell me a bedtime story to help me sleep since I helped you get rid of Didi’s nightmare,” Liu hinted. 

Lan WangJi felt the corner of his mouth twitch up in admiration of this child’s bravery and shear gall. “I don’t have any stories to tell.”

“You never did anything exciting?” Liu’s voice indicated that she clearly did not believe this. Lan WangJi shook his head at her. The stories that lived in his heart and soul were all about Wei Ying, and none of them were appropriate for children. “Then… tell me the story of why you adopted Gege,” she pleaded. At his nod, Liu settled back into her blanket and waited.

“I was in Yiling City when I met SiZhu. A few months later his family died, so I adopted him.”

Liu waited, as patiently as a six year old could, for a few minutes for the rest of the story. Finally, she pouted. “That’s not a story.”

Lan WangJi looked away from the children. He wasn’t good at talking in general, and was even worse with children. However, talking with Liu wasn’t so hard…. Sometimes…. How would Wei Ying tell this story? “It was almost fifteen years ago, in a marketplace in Yiling City, a small boy, younger than your XiaoShu, got lost and seeing me, grabbed onto my leg. ‘Daddy! Daddy!’ he called out. The people around us thought he was my child and wanted to call me a bad father for letting him cry like that. In truth, I had never set eyes on the boy before…. It turned out he was like a younger brother to an old friend of mine. We spent a few hours together before my friend had to return home. A few months later, my friend and everyone in his family were killed except for SiZhui. I did what I thought my friend would want me to do, and brought him home with me as my son.”

“That’s sad about your friend…. Do you miss him a lot?”

“I did,” he admitted softly. “Liu… It’s late. Go to sleep now.”

Liu settled into her blanket as Lan WangJi returned to the desk. The candles had burned no more than a centimeter when she spoke up again. “HanGuJu? If you adopted SiZhuiGege when he was younger than XiaoShu, how come he didn’t go to your home until he was six?”

HanGuang-Jun froze for a few seconds. _You’re a sharp one, aren’t you? No wonder Wei Ying decided to bring you home._ Instead of answering the child immediately, he asked, “Have you ever ground ink?” At Liu’s shaking her head ‘no’, he invited her over. “Come sit with me and I’ll show you.” The child scrambled out of her blanket and knelt at the desk. Lan WangJi poured a little bit of alcohol into the dish, and slowly ground the ink stick. “Move it in slow circles, like this so the ink will be nice and smooth,” he instructed. When the liquid was the correct consistency, he dipped his brush into the ink and drew a single character on a fresh piece of paper. “Do you know this word?” he asked. Liu shook her head again. “This is your name: Liu. Come over here and I’ll show you how to write your name.” She dashed around the table to sit in front of him. He showed her how to load the ink onto the brush and keep the tip pointed. He carefully held her hand around the brush handle and helped her to draw the four lines. Over and over they drew the character, until the page was filled. Liu was smiling happily even though the last half of the page was covered in blotches, and most of the ‘lines’ were curves, and none of the words were as perfect as the first one. The bottom half of the page was all hers; Lan WangJi had taken his hand off the brush to see what she could accomplish on her own. 

While Liu admired her masterpiece, Lan WangJi decided to answer her question. “Do you really want to know why SiZhui lived with my brother for three years?” Receiving a nod, he continued. “Have you heard of the Yiling Patriarch?”

Liu turned her frightened face to his and whispered, “He eats little babies for breakfast and turns their parents’ bodies into fierce corpses!”

“He has never eaten a child. But he did make fierce corpses, or puppets, to help fight battles. When he used these puppets to lead us to victory at the end of the SunShot campaign, he was called a hero. He had made a very powerful spiritual device to control the dead, and some men decided that they wanted it. He was only seventeen, so they said he was too young and too undisciplined to be the master of such a device. When he didn’t give it to them, they spent the next few years making up stories to make it seem like he was a monster. And then they killed everyone around him. They tried to kill him, too, but he committed suicide before they could.”

Liu shifted closer to HanGuang-Jun as if seeking safety or reassurance. “So was he a hero or a monster?”

“He was a man,” Lan WangJi stated calmly. “No more. No less. Like most of us, he just wanted to be the best person he could be.” Liu sidled closer; she was almost sitting in his lap. “He was my friend,” he finally admitted. “After he died, I was sent to live in seclusion for three years.” At Liu’s curious look, he added, “Seclusion is when you’re all alone. So SiZhui lived with my brother.”

Lan WangJi was sitting cross-legged on his mat; Liu wiggled a bit so that she was now sitting in the hole made by his legs, her back pressed up against his chest. “Did both of your friends die together?”

“Both friends?”

“SiZhuiGege’s brother and the Yiling Patriarch. Did they die at the same time? You must have been really sad to have two friends get dead at once.”

Lan WangJi looked down sadly at the little girl now firmly ensconced in his lap. The promise to not lie weighed heavily on him. “There was only one friend: SiZhui’s brother was the Yiling Patriarch. I have only ever had one true friend.” When Liu turned a frightened face up to his, he awkwardly put a comforting arm around the child, and pulled her slightly more into his body. “I missed him very much. For thirteen years, I prayed for my friend to return to me. Then last year, a cultivator was very unhappy with the way his life was, and so he decided to give up his life to bring back the Yiling Patriarch.”

“Your friend is alive again?” 

“Yes.”

“HanGuJu? How does a dead person come back to life?”

“It was a very dark magic spell. I’ve never seen it, and I don’t want to.”

“Father? I’m scared.” The slight body in his arms was shaking, a testament to the simple statement. He gathered her closer into his embrace, and for some reason unknown to him, started swaying back and forth slightly, rocking the child. 

“You don’t have to be scared of the Yiling Patriarch. He’s not going to hurt you. He would never hurt you. You’ve met him: Wei WuXian.”

“XianGege is the Yiling Patriarch?” Lan WangJi couldn’t tell if she was happy or scared or excited. All three seemed to coexist in her question.

“Yes.” Her body started shaking harder. “You don’t have to be scared, little one,” he whispered. “We’re not going to hurt you…. We’re going to keep you safe and happy….” Over and over he repeated those promises, first out loud so she could hear them, and then in his heart after she fell asleep. 

When he woke up a few hours later, he found both children curled up in his lap. 

* * *

Five men flying on four swords landed on the riverbank outside what was either a small town or large village. For a brief moment, Wei Wuxian saw how it had looked almost twenty years ago when Wen Ning had brought Jiang YanLi, Jiang Cheng, and him here to hide from Wen Chao. Back then, there was no village here, just a muddy riverbank, trees and half a kilometer away, a narrow road that did not quite follow the river’s path. Seeing Wen Ning’s sad face, Wei WuXian gave him a brief smile and squeezed his shoulder in solidarity. The younger man had lived near here with his sister for a few years; with the Supervisory Office burned to the ground, now nothing would look the same as it had done back then. 

His own chest hurt from the memories. He had really thought his Shidi was going to die here. Just give up completely instead of trying to live a mundane life. So much pain…. The physical aches from being whipped. The mental anguish of losing his adopted parents and so many Clan members. With Jiang Cheng unable or unwilling to function and Jiang YanLi having never been strong, mentally or physically, to begin with, for the first time since he was nine, Wei WuXian had had to be a responsible adult. He had had to be strong for his siblings. Pretend like his life hadn’t just fallen apart again. Pretend that he wasn’t as devastated at losing his adopted parents and Clan as his brother and sister were at losing their real parents. Pretend like he knew what he was doing. Pretend like giving up his Core was not the hardest decision he had ever made. 

For that matter, dying had hurt less than Wen Qing removing his Core.

 _It hurt so fucking much!_ Even at seventeen, he had understood his position within the Sect. He had understood his responsibility. His life wasn’t his own to command; he owed it, body and soul, to Jiang FengMian. And once his Uncle Jiang was dead, he owed it to his siblings. And so he gave up cultivating spiritual energy to save Jiang Cheng. Ungrateful bastard that he was. 

It still fucking hurt. Standing here on the riverbank in Yiling watching the afternoon sunlight turning the water golden with white tips on the gentle waves, following the path he had chosen eighteen years ago. Even though he had gained a new Core. Even though he had a new family that loved him for who he was, not for what he was. Even though the misunderstandings of the past were mostly exposed. Wei WuXian resisted the urge to wrap his arms around his waist. _I need you, Lan Zhan._

How humiliating. To be either a twenty-two or a thirty-five year old man on the verge of crying over yet another stupid memory. To be so weak mentally that he needed the comfort of his husband. It had been a momentary lapse when he had broken down upon hearing the anniversary of his death was approaching. A very momentary lapse as indicated by not having had any further issues on the actual date. 

Why was he acting as if he was just some fragile wife? Lan Zhan placed the ribbon on him first at their wedding ceremony! He was the husband regardless of whose ass was penetrated on a daily basis! He was the Yiling Patriarch! The strongest cultivator in generations! 

Lan SiZhui noticed his older cousin’s expression and hurried over. “What’s the matter?” he asked.

Wen Ning tried to smile for the teenager. “I used to fish here. And swim. I haven’t been back here since….” Lan SiZhui blinked back moisture in his eyes. It didn’t really matter what the end of that sentence was supposed to be. Wen Ning’s days of innocence were over pretty much right after he left here. 

The five men skirted the town to find the road that would bring them to the Demon’s Lair. A half hour’s brisk walk brought them to a set of closed gates. As pre-arranged, Lan XiChen led the way with Jin Ling half a step behind. It was impossible to hide who Wen Ning was, and his presence was practically a guarantee that the Yiling Patriarch was with this group. Wei WuXian wanted some anonymity for this visit, so he had dressed in a brown outer robe shot through with gold thread and changed his hair piece into one that was gold instead of silver. They all agreed to call him Mo XuanYu again, pretending that he was merely a Jin senior disciple guarding his sect leader. While Lan SiZhui would be representing his fathers with Wen Ning as his guard. It was a plausible excuse if not examined too closely…. 

The guards let them through and directed them to a pleasant room where Headmaster Hua waited. Hua, despite apparently being only a few years older than Lan XiChen, was trying to grow a beard as befitted his position. He stroked its short length quite frequently as he spoke, as if willing it to grow faster and longer. Wei WuXian discovered that anonymity had its drawbacks; not only was he not invited to sit and drink tea, the headmaster implied with a smile that failed to move anything but his lips that he should wait outside with Wen Ning while the others talked. Wei WuXian responded with a smile of his own, one that had frozen the hearts of many men at the Nightless City battles, and politely refused to leave his Sect leader unprotected. 

What followed was a conversation that bored Wei WuXian almost to tears. Lan XiChen was a polished politician able to converse on many subjects easily while smoothly including the tidbits he wanted to learn more about and deftly dodging questions he did not want to answer. Headmaster Hua was nearly as capable, and he too neatly side-stepped subjects he did not want to discuss. Jin Ling’s frustration with the slow process was evidenced by his inability to sit still and frequent yawns while his elders talked. Lan SiZhui was far more accustomed to sitting still while listening to lectures and conversations he had little to no interest in. But even he was stifling yawns inspired by his new cousin. After a while, Headmaster Hua suggested that perhaps the young masters would prefer to walk around Demon’s Lair while the elders talked. Lan XiChen smiled his agreement and added his encouragement that the teenagers, with their bodyguards, explore to their hearts’ content. After all, he thought, this had been Wen Ning’s home and would most likely be the future home to Wei WuXian and SiZhui. 


	27. Chapter 27

Preparing for the opening banquet had been a lively time. Preparing for the closing banquet was anything but. This was the calm before the storm. For four of the men in the room, this was a familiar feeling, this pre-battle waiting. However eighteen years ago, they had had nothing left to lose but their lives. Lan XiChen and Jiang Cheng had been Sect leaders of broken and burned Clans. Wei WuXian had had no Core, and Lan WanJi had had no hope. Leaving the Wen to do as they pleased left them with no futures. If the price of freedom from the Wen terrorizing the Sects was their individual lives, that was a worthy price to pay.

It was different now…. 

Jiang Cheng stood side by side with Wen Qing; it was clear they were holding hands even though their robes hid it from sight. Now he had a thriving Sect to protect. And more importantly, his wife to love and cherish. Together they had a future to look forward to… children, grandchildren. 

Li MeiLi stood next to Lan XiChen, her arms wrapped around her waist, his hands clenching and unclenching at his sides. She had made the choice to attend the banquet as a Wei junior disciple, and the potential ramifications of that scared them both. She would be helpless in a fight, and of more use as a hostage by their unknown opponents than an ally. 

Lan SiZhui and Jin Ling were joined by Lan JingYi, OuYang ZiZhen and OuYang XiaoDan; the juniors and Wen Ning stood in a loose group. They were serious and determined to win and bolstered by the unwavering youthful belief that they would come through any potential battles unscathed. 

Liu sat on Lan WangJi’s hip, arms clutching his neck. For some reason, she had avoided Wei WuXian after his return from Yiling…. When pressed for a reason, Lan WangJi had simply said ‘later’ and refused to explain. XiaoShu stood next to Wei WuXian, holding his hand, feeling the rising tension but not understanding any of it. 

Every single one of them could walk away from the impending fight right now and Wei WuXian wouldn’t blame them. No one would blame them. This wasn’t their fight. Even Lan WangJi… regardless of their marriage. “If something happens tonight…” he started.

“Shut up,” Jiang Cheng ordered. “We’ve decided we’re all in this together or we wouldn’t be standing here.” Wei WuXian opened his mouth to argue, but his brother stopped him. “I’m not the jealous and insecure little boy I was twenty years ago. I know the truth. I will fight by your side if it comes to that.”

Lan XiChen nodded in agreement. “We’re family, now. And family fights together.”

Jin Ling nodded eagerly. “Yes, Uncle Wei! We’re family so…”

“So you’re not going to fight!” Both of his uncles spoke at the same time.

“Children… if fighting starts, you are not staying,” Wei WuXian ordered firmly. “Jin Ling, you are to take XiaoShu to Cloud Recesses.” The teenager started making protest noises, but his uncle spoke over him. “This is not an option. If there’s fighting, you will take the child and leave. A’Yuan, you are responsible for Liu. And JingYi, you take Madame Li.”

“But…” he whined weakly.

“All of you are to go to Cloud Recesses and stay there until one of us arrives or Lan QiRen lets you leave. Under no circumstances are you to come back for us. Wen Ning…”

“I’m staying, Master.”

“You need to protect your sister. Take her to Cloud Recesses or Lotus Pier.”

“No.” Wen Ning’s voice was firm. “My place is with you.”

“I can take care of myself,” Wen Qing insisted. “I have the bracelets you gave me,” she said to Wei WuXian. “And I have a sword now. I probably won’t be able to fly myself all the way to Cloud Recesses in one shot, but I can at least make it out of the city before I need to rest.”

“I’ll go with you, Madame Wen,” OuYang XiaoDan offered. “I’m strong enough to take the two of us on my sword when you need to rest.”

Wei WuXian whirled around to stare at the OuYang siblings. “You’ll do nothing of the sort. You will stay with your father. Both of you. This is not your fight.”

OuYang ZiZhen firmed his shoulders under Wei WuXian’s glare. “Senior Wei, I think I’m old enough to decide for myself. I’ve heard the rumors that you’re going to proclaim yourself Emperor and rule over the Cultivation world. I’ve heard how you’re crueler than the Wen and more ruthless than Jin GuangYao in your quest for power.” He took a deep breath. “But I’ve also seen you when lives are at stake. You’re not like they say. More importantly…. My father taught me that the measure of a man is what he does when he thinks no one important is looking on. When we were in Yi City… you could have left us to die and just taken SiZhui and Jin Ling with you to safety. At the Burial Mounds, you could have escaped by yourself and let those corpse puppets kill us all. You… you fought to protect the men and women who came to kill you. Those are not the actions of a despot. 

“I’ve told my father this…. He agrees you were wronged fourteen years ago. He’s not sure if these current rumors are correct, but he’s agreed to remain neutral if he can’t decide to fight on your side. There are others like us…. All of us juniors who were in Yi City and captives in the Burial Mounds. Every single one of us is on your side.”

Wei WuXian felt humbled by this speech. Having people believe in him was not something he was accustomed to. He nodded slowly, accepting the teenager’s words and loyalty. “I would prefer that you go with the others to Cloud Recesses rather than fight for me,” he finally said. 

Jin Ling stepped forward, defiantly staring down his uncles. “Koi Tower is my home, my responsibility. I am the Sect leader of the LanLingJin. I’m not leaving. OoYang ZiZhen… please take XiaoShu to Cloud Recesses. I will stay out of the fighting as much as I can Uncle Wie…. I will not leave.”

Before the adults could say anything, OiYang ZiZhen saluted Jin Ling. “I will do as you ask and protect XiaoShu.”

Jiang Cheng’s hand glowed purple with ZiDian’s power. “I’ll break your legs! Both of them!”

Jin Ling bowed low. “Uncle Jiang… I cannot leave Koi Tower. It is my responsibility. I will stay out of the fighting. I promise. You can break my legs once this is over.”

Lan WangJi sighed. “Enough. The boy is right and you know it. Direct your people to not allow anyone from outside the Hall to enter after the banquet begins. Let anyone leave who wants to, but no one should enter. That will keep the numbers manageable.”

“Yes, Uncle Lan.”

Jiang Cheng threw his head back and yelled at the ceiling. “HanGuang-Jun!” His knuckles turned white from gripping Shandu tighter. “Are you really going to allow my sister’s only son to stay here unprotected while your children escape to safety?”

Wei WuXian gave an exacerbated look at his brother. “A’Ling, you will leave the Hall when the fighting starts. Do you understand? Leave with the others. And stay behind the Jin disciples out of the way of any mayhem.”

With the arrangements all made, Lan XiChen dragged Li MeiLi to a corner of the room away from the others. “If something happens to me, tell my uncle you’re my wife,” he whispered.

“Nothing is going to happen to you!”

“Promise me. If I die, tell my Uncle QiRen we made our bows tonight before the ceremony. The boys will back you up.”

“A’Chen, I’m not going to lie to your uncle!” she hissed. 

“Then let’s make it a truth. Right now. LiLi, will you marry me? Tonight. Now. Here.”

“I can’t believe you’re asking me this,” she muttered. “You’re acting insane. This is insane!”

“LiLi….” He pulled her face to his and kissed her hard. “LiLi, I need to make sure you’re protected… if the worst happens, I need to know you’ll be safe. My uncle will have no reason to let you stay in Cloud Recesses without me. As my widow, even my fake widow, he’ll have to let you. Please… if you won’t marry me now, please tell my uncle we did.”

Li MeiLi rested her forehead on his shoulder. “You’re not going to die. I’m not going to lie to your uncle. We don’t even know if there’s going to be a fight tonight. For all we know, Master Wei could walk into the Hall tonight to cheers and congratulations for being the newest Sect leader. We can talk about marriage in a few months. Or a year. When we both know that this is what we want.”

Lan XiChen pulled her tight into his embrace. “I know what I want: I want you next to me for the rest of my life. I want you in my arms and in my bed. And with me on night hunts. I want you seated next to me at meals. I want to hold you in my arms while you’re cradling our little ones. I want to spend lazy afternoons with you feeding WangJi’s rabbits. And rainy evenings reading poetry to you.” He tilted her head up and kissed her mouth lightly. “Look at me, LiLi. You make me as shameless as WangJi…. Take pity on my poor sensibilities and marry me before I become worse.”

“ZeWu-Jun…” she protested.

“You called me A’Chen a few minutes ago…”

Li MeilLi blushed. “That was before you started talking about going to bed with me! And children!” she whispered harshly.

He laughed lightly. “Am I supposed to pretend that loving you is purely emotional and has no physical desire to it? I’ve given my heart and my soul into your keeping…. Should I lie and claim I don’t want to also give you my body?” He reached out to caress her cheek. “Your skin is so soft here… It makes me wonder if everywhere feels as soft as this.” As she opened her mouth to protest again, he swiftly kissed her into silence. “I love you,” he stated firmly when she pulled away to take a shaky breath. “I love you,” he repeated. “Please marry me.”

A ‘yes’ slipped out of her mouth involuntarily. “No, wait… I mean..” she tried to backtrack her answer, but he spoke over her protests.

“Li MeiLi has agreed to be my wife,” he announced to the room. “Tonight. Before the banquet.” Amidst the congratulations filling the room, he whispered, “You can tell me you love me too, now.”

“I hate you,” Li MeiLi mumbled into his robes where she had hidden her face in embarrassment. 

* * *

Li MeiLi was amazed at how fast her new relatives worked. Not even ten minutes later, she found herself seated while Wen Qing pulled her hair around and jabbed her with hair pins while OuYang XiaoDan applied a few cosmetics to her eyes and lips. The juniors were sent to open up the Ancestral Hall and make it presentable. HanGuang-Jun brought over his mother’s wedding robes and some jewelry. 

“You do know what happens between men and women, right?” Wen Qing asked as she coiled and braided. 

“I grew up on a farm, Madame Wen. And I accidentally found my sisters with their new husbands in the hay more than once.”

“I don’t,” OuYang XiaoDan chimed in. “My mother says ignorance is best for new brides. I think ignorance is best left to babies and toddlers.”

Wen Qing snorted. This young woman was at an event where it was almost expected that she would leave as a new bride, and her mother felt that leaving her daughter naive about intimacy was a good thing to do? Wen Qing was of the opinion that girls should learn about sex and pregnancy and how to avoid them both at least by the time they started menstruating. “You’ve seen animals mating, I hope?”

“Yes.”

“Like that, but usually face to face. And it should feel really good. Your first few times it might be a bit uncomfortable, but after that, you should just feel pleasure. If it hurts, he’s doing it wrong and you should make him stop and start over. If it feels good, you’re doing it right. It’s very important that you talk to each other and let each other know what feels good or hurts and what feels incredible.” Wen Qing reached into her sleeve pocket and pulled out two pieces of paper and handed one to each. “Use your spiritual energy and draw this talisman over your abdomen before he enters you to prevent pregnancy. It lasts for about six hours. So redraw it if you need to.”

OuYang XiaoDan’s face was bright red in embarrassment, but she tucked the paper away in her sleeve. Li MeiLi winced as Wen Qing resumed tugging and pulling her hair. “Every six hours? Do people really like to do that for so long?”

“I’m sure you’ll sleep for a while between rounds. But, yes, some couples, especially when they’re newly married, like to do it a lot. As long as it feels good and you both want it….”

Not long after that, Li MeiLi stood in front of a mirror and watched as her attendants fixed the draping of her wedding robes. They were gorgeous: heavy silk embroidered with golden flowers and cinched at the waist by a thin gold belt. “I can’t believe I’m doing this…” she wondered aloud. “We’ve known each other less than a week….”

Wen Qing smiled. “The timing fits well given their parents’ history…. I’m beginning to think this branch of the Lan family are like swans swimming on a pond. Above the water, they look graceful and easy, but if you peer beneath the surface, they’re peddling frantically. You did hear about how ZeWu-Jun’s parents married, right?” Li MeiLi looked at Wen Qing in the mirror and shook her head. “I don’t know the whole story, we only heard fourth hand rumors in my uncle’s house, but they met on a night hunt and the father fell madly in love. Later, I’m not sure if it was the same hunt or another, a fight broke out and the mother killed three Lan disciples. The Lan, of course, wanted to execute her. The father married her to keep her alive and then imprisoned her in a house in Cloud Recesses; they weren’t going to execute the Sect leader’s wife, after all. Then he imprisoned himself in his own house. The story says that they never saw each other again after he locked her up, but that must be false…. He never denied that ZeWu-Jun and HanGuang-Jun were his sons…. She died when ZeWu-Jun was nine or ten. No official explanation for her death has been given. 

“And then there’s the rumor that Lan QiRen, their uncle, fell in love with a rogue cultivator, too. But she went off and married Jiang WanYin’s father’s right hand man…. And became Wei WuXian’s mother. Lan QiRen never married. The rumors were that he was furious that she chose to marry a servant rather than the brother of a Sect leader. Since he treated Wei WuXian as if he was an insect to be stepped on back when we were in classes there, it’s easy to believe that. Of course, Wei WuXian pretty much deserved to be treated that way; he was a very casual and disrespectful student.”

“You heard a lot of rumors in your uncle’s court…” Li MeiLi mused.

“Power is not from just how mighty your sword is or how big your armies are….” Wen Qing noted. “Knowledge is power. Rumors are powerful. The right rumor in the right ear at the right time… you can take down an empire with just that….”

“Like they’re trying to take down Master Wei?” OuYang XiaoDan asked.

Wen Qing nodded somberly. “Just like they did fourteen years ago. But back then, he was fighting alone. My Clan and I couldn’t help him. Now….”

“Now he has all of us.”

* * *

Li MeiLi wore no veil to shield herself from Lan XiChen’s admiring gaze. So there was no impediment to seeing him in his wedding finery, either. He bowed low to her surprise. “I’m sorry. Please forgive me. I’m rushing you when I promised you I wouldn’t.” He raised his head to look into her eyes. “If you want to call this off, I understand.”

Li MeiLi took a deep breath. This was the point of no return. “A’Chen… if I didn’t want to marry you, I wouldn’t be standing here now. I won’t lie and say I’m not scared that I can’t become the Sect Leader’s wife you need…. But I won’t deny that you are the man I want to be my husband. All those dreams you said earlier? I… I want them, too.”

He smiled broadly. “Then, my LiLi… do you love me?” She nodded shyly. “Then let’s get married.” He helped her to kneel and together they made the first of their bows.

* * *

Wei WuXian had never accepted the constraints others put on him. He had always questioned why an accident of birth should place someone with lesser knowledge and ability at the top of the cultivation world. Why must the son of a servant be subservient to those lacking his skills? He looked around at the milling crowd of cultivators waiting for their Sect or Clan’s turn to be admitted into the banquet hall and thought of who he was today versus the person he had been the last few times he had entered a banquet hall. He was no longer the petulant teenager desperately trying to prove to himself and others that not carrying a sword meant nothing. He wasn’t the furious twenty year old trying to save his friend. He wasn’t even simply the Head Cultivator’s spouse who ‘forgot’ his place. 

He was Sect Leader Wei. The Yiling Patriarch. The Master of Demonic Cultivation. One of the most powerful cultivators alive. Tonight, if necessary, they would all see who he was. 

He stood off to the side as the crowd started to thin, ChenQing thrust into his belt, SuiBian held loosely in one hand, and XiaoShu’s hand held lightly in the other. “You still haven’t asked about what I saw in Yiling,” he said to his husband.

“You’ll tell me when you’re ready.”

“Aren’t you curious at all?” 

Lan WangJi shrugged. “Sometimes you solve problems by talking out loud and sometimes you let everything stew together in your head. If you wanted my aid, you would have said something.”

Wei WuXian sighed heavily. “Something feels wrong about tonight.... I can’t explain it. I’m scared maybe?”

Lan WangJi looked down at Liu hugging his waist. “To be willing to fight and die for something is an entirely different feeling than wanting to fight and live for someone. I knew at seventeen that I would die for you with no regrets. It was a lot harder to live for you after you stepped off that cliff…. Now…” He returned his gaze to meet his husband’s. “There’s more than just you to protect. To live for.” 

Wei Ying’s heart began doing somersaults at the look of love and trust shining in Lan Zhan’s eyes. _I love you,_ he mouthed. _You are so beautiful_. Finally, the Lan Sect was called out, and the last group of cultivators started to enter the building. Wei Ying smiled broadly and pushed his fears away. With his man beside him, he could survive anything, accomplish anything…. “Will you walk beside me for the rest of our lives?” 

Lan Zhan smiled in return, both corners of his mouth lifting up, and nodded once. "For the rest of all of our lives and for the eternity to follow.”

Wei Ying shuddered, half in lust and all in love, stomach and chest fluttering madly with butterflies. “Now I know what you look like when you smile.”

“You’ve seen me smile before….”

“Not like this, I haven’t…. The first time I saw you smile, you were looking at my rabbit lantern. Come to think of it... every time I’ve seen you smile, you were looking at rabbits…. This is the first time you’ve smiled just at me.”

“Wei Ying…” Lan Zhan shook his head in exasperation. “You have such a poor memory.” Unspoken, but completely understood, was the rest of his statement: _I love you anyways_.

The two men walked shoulder to shoulder into the hall, each one holding the hand of one of their children to the announcement: “The YilingWei Sect! The Yiling Patriarch, Wei WuXian! HanGuang-Jun, Lan WangJi!”


	28. Chapter 28

Jin Ling surveyed the Hall and the sea of cultivators milling about in it. The minor Sect leaders and staff were a seemingly unending stream walking through the center aisle. They would pause and salute him; as the head of a major Sect, he held a higher rank than all of them even though he was far younger than all of them. So his salutes back were more like acceptance of fealty than a salute of a junior to a senior. But at long last there was a pause and the minor Sect leaders cleared the aisle. 

“The QingheNie Sect! Nie HuaiSang!”

Jin Ling saluted first; regardless of his Sect’s higher position, it never hurt to placate an elder. Especially an elder that he really wanted to be on his side… and the side of his uncles. 

“The YunMengJiang Sect! Sandu Shengshou, Jiang WanYin! Wen Qing!”

Both Jing Ling and Nie HuaiSang saluted the new couple; the noise in the Hall died down as cultivators’ mouths dropped open, either in shock that the notorious Wen healer was alive or that she was married into the Jiang Sect. Or both. Nie HuaiSang was smiling as he expressed his congratulations to the new bride. He, of course, knew of the marriage within an hour of the ceremony.

“The GusuLan Sect! ZeWu-Jun, Lan XiChen! Li MeiLi!”

Now even Nie HuaiSang’s mouth gaped open in shock as the newest couple, still in their bridal finery, entered the Hall. More than one feminine voice (joined by a few of their fathers) called out variations of ‘no!’ and ‘impossible!’ as their hopes at marrying the handsome sect leader were dashed to pieces. 

“Congratulations LanGe, Madame Li,” Nie HuaiSang saluted. 

“Thank you,” Lan XiChen saluted back, beaming with pride and happiness. “Li MeiLi, this is Sect leader Nie HuaiSang. Nie HuaiSang, my wife, Li MeiLi.” The phrase ‘my wife’ sent shivers of anticipation and lust racing up and down his spine. She nodded, blushing prettily at her new status. 

“The YilingWei Sect! The Yiling Patriarch, Wei WuXian! HanGuang-Jun, Lan WangJi!”

Sect Leader Yao strode out to the center aisle before the newest Sect leaders could proceed very far into the room and yelled, “How dare you claim to be the most powerful Sect!”

Wei WuXian stood his ground in the face of the blustering oaf. “How would you define ‘the most powerful Sect’? By cultivation ability? HanGuang-Jun and I are easily the most powerful cultivators here. Or would you define it by the number of disciples? Demon’s Lair has over two thousand senior disciples registered. And almost four hundred junior disciples.” He paused to let that sink in…. Even at its height, the QishanWen Sect had had fewer senior disciples than that. LanLingJin now had just over half that number. The QingheNie had less than a quarter. Lan SiZhui took advantage of the pause to rush forward and take his new siblings to stand among the rest of the Lan disciples. “Would you prefer to define it by political power? HanGuang-Jun and I now have familial ties to and the backing of three of the major Sects and all of the pardoned Wen should they decide to reform the QishanWen Sect. I dare to claim the YilingWei Sect is the most powerful here because that is the truth!”

Sect Leader Yao’s mouth gaped wide in astonishment at Wei WuXian’s audacity. His hand raised up to point an accusing finger at the younger man and was ready to start a blistering tirade when the Hall doors opened and a figure in blue strode in. Lan QiRen was one of the few in the region who was powerful enough to override Jin Ling’s instructions to the guards.

“Wei WuXian!” Lan QiRen thundered in his best and most formidable school teacher voice. “You arrogant pup!” Wei WuXian’s eyes narrowed and his hand clenched harder on SuiBian’s sheath. Lan WangJi stepping sideways to stand shoulder to shoulder with him gave him the strength to stay quiet. “If I had known that helping you obtain a Core would lead to this, I would never have allowed it to happen!” The guests in the room who had been talking softly among themselves all of a sudden fell silent at this admission. “I do not understand why I allowed you to marry into my family!”

Lan WangJi stared down his uncle. “Your permission and acceptance were never asked for nor required either time. We gave you a courtesy acknowledgement of what we planned to do to obtain a new Core; you offered to assist. I told you we were going to be married; you agreed to smooth the way for the Elders to accept it.”

“Because you threatened to leave the Clan if I didn’t!”

“It was never a threat, Uncle,” Lan WangJi stated firmly. 

Lan QiRen glared at his younger nephew. Then he turned his attention back to the man in black. “I wish Jiang FengMian had never found you. I wish he had left you to rot in the streets of YunMeng. Think of how much trouble you have caused that family! How much trouble you have caused the entire cultivation world!”

A blur raced out from the Lan disciples to furiously kick the elder statesman’s legs. “Don’t you talk about XianGege that way! He’s the Yiling Patriarch! He’s a hero who saved all of you from the Sun!” Lan Qiren slapped Liu away so hard she skidded back over a meter on the floor. Through her tears, she yelled, “You’re just a mean old man who wants him to get dead!”

Wei WuXian moved to grab his daughter, but Lan WangJi stopped him. “Let me,” he whispered. “She’s scared of the Yiling Patriarch….” He strode out and picked the little girl up off the floor. “Don’t ever hit my children again,” he warned his uncle. And quietly, so only the three of them could hear, he added, “ _That_ is a threat. And a promise.” 

“Your children?” Lan Qiren scoffed. “This one is no more your child than SiZhui is.” To Liu, who was half hiding her face in Lan WangJi’s neck, he added, “You need to learn to treat your elders with respect!”

“Am I in trouble HanGuJu?” Liu whimpered.

“‘HanGuJu’? Who is this ‘HanGuJu’?” Lan Qiren yelled. “Not only did you fail to teach this child respect, you failed to teach her your title?”

Lan WangJi cuddled Liu a little closer. “It’s just a pet name, Uncle. She’s not ready to call me Father yet. Liu and XiaoShu are indeed just as much my children as SiZhui is.” He reached up and gently pulled Liu’s face out from his neck. “You’re not in trouble, little one. In the future, though, when a fight is just words, we only fight with words. And we never hit first. In a fight between adults, you should let us handle it ourselves.”

Sect Leader Yao blustered into the conversation. “This child kicked your Grandmaster, and you’re telling her she’s not going to be punished? What kind of father are you trying to be here?”

Lan WangJi allowed Liu to burrow back into his neck. Wei WuXian clenched his free fist in anger and frustration. He wanted to hit Lan Qiren for hurting this child. “Who said she has not been punished? She has a bruise on her face and probably more on her hips. She kicked the Grandmaster; he hit her back. I’d say that was punishment enough!”

Clan Leader OuYang stood up. “Grandmaster Lan, Sect Leader Yao. There are grave concerns to be discussed tonight. None of which will be solved by hitting children or yelling at Wei WuXian and Lan WangJi. What the child said was right. Wei WuXian was called a hero during the SunShot Campaign. And then we killed him for practicing the very thing we lauded him for. 

“My son has asked me to get to the truth. Not only about the rumors we’ve heard over the last week, but the truth of what happened fourteen years ago. So… Wei WuXian: is it true that you lost your Core during the time of the SunShot Campaign?”

While Wei WuXian looked helplessly at his husband, looking for support and an answer, Jiang WanYin answered for him. “No. That is not the truth.” Wei WuXian whirled around to now stare helplessly at his brother. Jiang Cheng took Wen Qing’s hand and kissed her knuckles; she smiled and nodded in response. “The truth is that Wen ZhuLiu captured me after they destroyed Lotus Pier; he melted my Core. Wei WuXian and Wen Ning rescued me, but I was ready to die from its loss. I had no desire to live a mundane life. Wen Qing and Wei WuXian told me that his mother’s grandmaster, Baoshan Sanren, would be able to heal me. Instead of taking me to meet her, they transferred Wei WuXian’s Core to me. After it was done, Wen Chao captured Wei WuXian and threw him into the Burial Mounds to die. Cultivating the demonic path… creating the Stygian Tiger Amulet... he did what he had to do to survive and escape that place.”

Clan Leader OuYang sighed heavily. “And the Core inside Wei WuXian now?”

Lan XiChen answered. “I transferred it from a cultivator who gladly offered it up. There was no coercion.” Wei WuXian turned his exasperated gaze to his brother-in-law. Were they going to divulge every single secret he ever had? Was nothing sacred?

OuYang nodded sagely and stroked his beard for a minute. “Wen Ning!” The younger man stood up straight. “When the Jin captured you and put you to work at QiongQi Path… were the overseers and guards there decent? Did they treat you well as they claimed?”

“No sir,” Wen Ning shook his head as earnestly as he could. “They fed us slops and rotting food and killed us as they pleased. They stabbed me in the chest with a flag, and left me to die.”

OuYang paled slightly. “So in return, when Wei WuXian came to rescue you, you killed many of the overseers?”

Wen Ning looked blank. “I was dead when Master Wei rescued us. I don’t remember anything until he woke me up in the Burial Mounds.”

Wei WuXian sighed. “I raised Wen Ning as a fierce corpse and gave him the order to execute the ones who killed the Wen. He was following my explicit orders; he could only kill those whom he had seen murdering his Clan members. Any overseers who survived were innocent, at least as far as he knew.”

A woman stood up; Wei WuXian thought she looked vaguely familiar. Maybe she was at the Burial Mounds siege? “Back then, why didn’t you give Jin GuangShao the Stygian Tiger Amulet when he asked for it?”

Wei WuXian snorted. “Just because someone asks for something means I have to give it? In that case, please give me your sword!” He held out his hand as if he expected she would hand it over. When her response was simply to narrow her eyes at him, he grinned. “Precisely. Jin GaungShao was not my parent or even my Clan leader. Why should I have given him something I made myself? Simply because he asked for it? No. He wanted to replace the Wen with the Jin as the ruling Clan, didn’t he? And my amulet would have given him an edge.”

Yao snorted contemptuously. “So instead of the LanlingJin Sect replacing the QishanWen, you want it to be the YilingWei Sect?”

Wei WuXian turned incredulous eyes upon his audience. “Do you honestly think I want to be the leader of the Cultivation world?” Dead silence full of accusing eyes answered him. “Contrary to the ridiculous rumors running wild through Koi Tower, I have no intention of proclaiming myself emperor. Or demanding fealty from any other Sect. When this conference is over, Lan WangJi and our children will be settling in Yiling with no desire to rule anything that is not rightfully ours.”

The woman was undeterred. “Then why did you proclaim your Sect to be the most powerful? If you are not trying to take what is not rightfully yours, why not take your place among us instead of at the head?”

Lan WangJi answered her, furious. “We are only following the rules previously set by you all: the Sects are announced in order of increasing power. When it was my brother who was announced last, you held no qualms about the GusuLan surpassing the LanLingJin,” he snapped. “When the YunMengJiang were announced after the QingHeNie, you never claimed Jiang WanYin was trying to take too much power. Is it that you only have a problem when it is the son of a servant? Is it that you silently agree with my uncle and think it would have been best for Jiang FengMian to have left his friends’ child homeless and alone on the streets?”

Lan Qiren’s face turned dark red with fury. “Wei WuXian’s birth status is irrelevant! It’s his attitude that I abhor! He is careless! Irreverent! He ignores thousands of years of history and teaching simply because he’s bored! And on top of that, he seduced you into thinking you’re a cutsleeve!” 

At that pronouncement, Wei WuXian burst into laughter. Chortling and sniffing, he managed to blurt out, “Grandmaster Lan, I think you need to have a private conversation with your nephew about who seduced who.”

A corner of Lan WangJi’s mouth tilted upwards. “A’Xian, I may have loved you first,” he said quietly, “but I think you’re forgetting who kissed who first.”

Wei WuXian grinned a drunken grin at his husband, “I haven’t forgotten that. Who was it that insisted I sleep in your bed when I arrived at Cloud Recesses? And who confessed first?” Lan WangJi’s ears tinted pink. “Ahh, my dear husband! You are adorable when you’re embarrassed!”

“You confessed first,” Lan WangJi answered the second question. “You told me you thought you might be in love with the person who gave you butterflies in your stomach. So I asked you if that was me. And you answered ‘always’.”

Two small hands pulled Lan WangJi’s face away from looking at Wei WuXian. “HanGuJu? I want to get down,” Liu stated. Lan WangJi’s eyes widened; he had forgotten the imp was still in his arms. He nodded his agreement and put the child down only to find that not only had he forgotten the child, he had also forgotten that he had been having a rather private conversation in full view and hearing of hundreds of cultivators. This time it wasn't just his ears turning pink; his entire face flamed a brilliant scarlet. 

“Shameless!” thundered his uncle.

Lan XiChen was grinning at his younger brother. “There’s no need to state the obvious, Uncle. But how could anyone think they’re planning on ruling the cultivation world as dictators when they are so easily distracted by the other?”

“You be quiet!” Lan QiRen ordered his eldest nephew with a scathing look. “I’ll deal with you and your _marriage_ later.”

Lan XiChen smiled serenely. “What is there to discuss, Uncle? The Elders ordered me to find a bride; I found one.”

“We were already negotiating your marriage to Jin ChangYing with Jin LongWei!” Lan QiRen growled.

“Jin ChangYing will make someone an excellent wife. However, I had already decided against marrying her even before I met Li MeiLi.”

Now Jin Long Wei strode to the center aisle. “Again you insult and humiliate my daughter in public!”

“He didn’t insult anyone,” Li MeiLi yelled back. “Jin ChangYing was humiliated? You brought up her marriage to A’Chen in a public setting yourself! You could have waited for a private moment to arise to discuss marriage, but _you_ had to announce her intentions and desires to this entire Hall! Your daughter, after being rejected, continued to make her claim on Lan XiChen in public. And now this uncle has dragged her name into this debacle of a closing banquet! And you dare to say _my husband_ has insulted and humiliated her? He has _never_ said a disparaging word against her! 

“Is this really how Clan leaders behave? Rumors and innuendos with zero evidence passed around like a summer cold? And instead of stopping to _think_ , you just bull straight through? No logic? No reasoning? 

“Is this why Master Wei was killed fourteen years ago? That Jin GuangShao man wanted an amulet, so he and his son allowed rumors to fly around unchecked and subtly encouraged the slaughter of hundreds of people to get it?”

“Li MeiLi,” Lan XiChen murmured, taking her hand.

“No,” she snapped, pulling her hand back. “I’m just a stupid, pretend Wei disciple. I might not know politics. Or banquet etiquette. But I can solve simple logic problems! The rumors about Master Wei wanting to be emperor or a dictator or whatever only started a few days ago. _After_ the Wen were pardoned. Which says to me that the target of these rumors is not only Master Wei, but also the Wen! The arguments I’ve heard tonight are against Master Wei assuming broad powers, right? So behind that there must also be a fear about the Wen returning to power…. Someone thinks Wei WuXian will… what? Support a new Wen Clan leader? Is that it?”

Now all eyes flickered between Wen Qing and her brother. She shrunk under the scrutiny; Jiang WanYin wrapped an arm around her shoulders and glared defiantly back, a silent promise to seriously main or kill anyone who tried to hurt his wife. Wen Ning stuttered, “My sister is a healer. And I will follow Master Wei to Yiling. Neither of us will resurrect the Wen Clan.”

Sect Leader OuYang saluted Li MeiLi. “I thank Madame Li for her words of wisdom. I now see why my son and daughter speak so highly of you. Your logic is not entirely flawless, but it is worthy of thought. And you are entirely correct about the timing of these rumors…. It was only a few hours after we pardoned the Wen that I first heard about Demon’s Lair. And the following morning I heard that Wei WuXian was going to proclaim himself emperor. This morning I was told that Wen RuoHan’s heir was going to resurrect the Wen Clan; I dismissed that one since I know that his heirs are dead. 

“Master Wei, what exactly are your intentions once this conference is over? Are you really just going to settle as a Sect leader?”

“Well, actually… Lan WangJi is going to be acting as Sect Leader…. I have something slightly more appropriate to my skills planned….”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello dear readers! Almost 90k words written! (Over that if you include the 2k I've already written for the next chapter.) The longest fanfic I've written prior to this was 45k... And then each chapter was only about 1k words long. And it was a rather hard struggle to find those thousand words at times. It's still a struggle sometimes to fill out my chapters here as I've set my min word count at 3k to push myself. 
> 
> Well, it's Thanksgiving weekend here in the US, so....
> 
> I'm thankful for you, dear readers. That you come here and read my blurbs. You have no idea how happy I am to log onto AO3 and see the views climbing. And your Kudos, and especially your comments, including but not limited to, EnderWiggin24 and Ovoriel. 
> 
> Thank you for making my world just that little bit brighter.


	29. Chapter 29

-the previous day-

Lan SiZhui and Jin Ling had found a few juniors about their ages and were busy showing off their skills to each other. Currently, they were at the practice ground having an archery competition. Jin Ling grumbled quite frequently at the quality of the bow he was given to use; regardless of its actual attributes, he was able to hold three arrows to the string and sink them into the center circles of the targets. Lan SiZhui was his usual methodical self. And he proved method over style was the better way to go because as the boys walked further away from the targets, Jin Ling had to switch to one arrow even before they hit the midpoint of the field. Even then his shots hit the center circle as often as they struck outside it, while Lan SiZhui’s arrows consistently hit the center each and every time even when he stood all the way across the field. 

Wei WuXian was leaning against a wall of the viewing box in the center of the field. He was theoretically watching over his charges, but in reality, he was daydreaming, mind flitting from one irrelevant subject to the next. He knew Wen Ning was alert to any dangers and relied on the other. Headmaster Hua disturbed his mindless thoughts, “Master Mo? That is your name, correct?” Wei WuXian stood up from his slouch and nodded slowly. He was acting as a bodyguard; there was no need for the headmaster to speak to him or even remember his name…. The headmaster smiled that empty smile that only moved his mouth. “I met you a few years ago. Or rather, we happened to be in the same place at the same time and you were pointed out to me. We did not meet.”

Wei WuXian’s initial panic lessened only slightly upon hearing that they never formally met. But the man had ‘met’ Mo XuanYu; was it during his lunatic period? Was it at Koi Tower or Mo Manor? “I assure you, I am unworthy of being pointed out to such an august person as the Headmaster,” he saluted.

Hua turned his gaze and empty smile to the field. “You may know from my speech that I was born and raised in Gusu? My grandfather and grandmother started a small cultivation Clan not too far from your young Master Lan’s Cloud Recesses. The Wen destroyed my home the day before they burned down Cloud Recesses. My son and I and my younger sister are the only survivors now…. My wife escaped with us, but she died in childbirth shortly after…. The stress of losing our family and home... the child was not supposed to be born for several months; we lost both of them.”

“I’m sorry for your loss,” Wei WuXian offered. 

The Headmaster’s empty smile slipped away, his eyes became even more flat and lifeless. “It was a long time ago. My sister cared for my son in Gusu City while I looked for work. I eventually joined the SunShot Campaign under ZeWu-Jun’s leadership. At the final battle, I was separated from my squadron. Those monstrous... things kept coming. We couldn’t hurt them; we could only run and be killed….” Wei WuXian felt fingers of fear climbing up his back. The Headmaster’s voice was calm, quiet, flat…. “I ran and fought as best I could, but the only path clear was up…. It was chaos… dead and dying everywhere. The stench of fear overwhelming the smells of blood and fire. And then we heard the sound of a flute coming from high above the battlefield…. Eerie… that song haunts my dreams to this day.” Now Wei WuXian could feel streaks of sweat joining the fingers tickling his back…. “I will never forget the horrors of that day or the feelings I felt when the man playing that flute took control of Wen RuoHan’s monsters and turned them into weapons for the allies.” Headmaster Hua turned his emotionless eyes to Wei WuXian. “I will never forget the man who saved us. I mourned his death and rejoiced when I heard of his resurrection.” Hua looked back at the boys playing on the practice field. “After the SunShot Campaign ended, there was no place for me in Cloud Recesses…. ZeWu-Jun needed to retain his limited resources for what remained of his Sect, not take in outsiders. I understood his position, but I needed somewhere to belong. And then one day, a few months before Master Wei’s death, I was walking home from work in Gusu City and came across a Wei disciple. He inspired me to become a Wei disciple, too. I felt it an honor to represent the man who saved us from tyranny. 

“About five years ago, my travels brought me through Yiling and I found this place. I guess there was a home here at one point in time. There were burn marks that looked like they were in the shape of a building…. The dichotomy of the peace I felt among the trees and meadows and the scorched earth from the fires felt an appropriate representation of the Yiling Patriarch. My son and I built a small house and took in fellow disciples. Sometimes I taught them and sometimes they taught us. A few stayed and built their own homes here. And more disciples came to teach and be taught. About three years ago, a woman came by with a cart full of books for us. She wouldn’t give us her name; she just said that Master Wei would need a fully functioning Sect when he returned. With these books we were able to develop proper training manuals and tests for becoming genuine senior disciples on a par with other Sects. She returned last year on the anniversary of Master Wei’s death and gave us chests of taels of silver. She said we were to use this to build him a proper cultivation ground. She said he would need a grand library to fill with books and his research. 

“I trusted in her words and that he would return from death…. We hired the best people we could from every region to design and build the library and dorms and classrooms for our students and to make our grounds elegant. We have worked hard to make this a place he can be proud of when he finally comes here to take his place as Sect Leader.”

Wei WuXian scratched his sweaty back against the wall. “You don’t have to pretend you don’t know who I am,” he grumbled. “Why didn’t you just say something when we first arrived?”

“You obviously have your reasons for keeping your identity a secret. I only know of it because I was accidentally on the upper terrace during that battle. Had I stayed with my squadron as I was supposed to, I would not have been able to recognize you. None of us here has truthfully admitted to ever meeting you. Many, of course, lie and claim they were personally taught by you.”

“So did you ever discover who the woman was?” That person was troubling…. Someone within the Nie Sect who was privy to Nie HuaiSang’s thoughts and actions? That didn’t make sense…. Why would a Nie give all that money to the YilingWei Sect? It made no sense…. Who was she?

“She never gave us a name. Her robes were not a recognizable Sect pattern or color combination. She did say it was in payment for a debt.” Wei WuXian blinked at the headmaster. Was he, Wei WuXian, the person she owed the debt to? If so, was she sent by his mother’s grandmaster? He didn’t remember making a bet for such a large sum of money to anyone let alone a woman…. He had never had money to bet like that. “There are also no identifying marks on the chests. Not even a brand by the carpenter.”

“Did she mention any names? BaoShan SanRen? CangSe SanRen? Wei ChangZe?”

“No, nothing of the sort.”

“So how did she know that I would return?” Wei WuXian mused. As the headmaster opened his mouth to answer, Wei WuXian shook him off. “Now that I have returned, at least from the dead, what are the thoughts on my coming here?”

The headmaster’s empty smile appeared again. “Are you asking if the Yiling Patriarch will be embraced with open arms when he finally arrives? Most of us have been eagerly awaiting that day for fourteen years. There are a few, maybe one or two hundred, who like the idea of being a disciple without actually having to swear to a Sect leader. I imagine that they will either make a fuss and moan for a while, but eventually they will swear or they will simply leave.”

Wei WuXian was incredulous. “One or two hundred is ‘a few’?”

Hua nodded. “We have over two thousand senior disciples on our rolls. Most of them were experienced rogue cultivators who decided to align themselves with us. A few broke away from the other Sects to study with us. Probably fifteen hundred came to us already trained and we just had to administer our tests. The other five hundred or so were partially trained elsewhere and came here in the last few years to study. We have another almost four hundred junior disciples studying with us. So losing a few hundred to their pride will not damage us much in terms of strength. You don’t see evidence of such numbers because we ask our senior disciples to continue to wander like the pretend Wei disciples. We have been trying to stay out of the notice of the major Sects….”

“Probably a wise decision,” Wei Wuxian muttered. “There is going to be a huge uproar when the Sects find out you exist as more than a small rabble.”

“Is there going to be a problem?” The empty smile didn’t waver.

“Yes, but it will all be directed at me. Some of the rumors running around Koi Tower state that I’m trying to proclaim myself emperor. The Devil’s Lair being home to twenty-five hundred people is only going to support that rumor.”

“Will you require our support? Every senior disciple carries one of these.” Hua held out a tassel with a silver ball on it. “In the case of an emergency and we need them to return to Demon’s Lair, this device will alert our cultivators. If I activate this tonight, I can have over a thousand disciples here before midnight and the rest before morning.” 

The Yiling Patriarch admired the device. Simple, elegant, unobtrusive. His finger itched to touch it and explore its secrets. “How many disciples do I have in Koi Tower?” His free hand reached out, almost of its own accord, to brush the silver ball. He could feel power humming through the device.

Hua untied the tassel from his sash and handed it over. “I gave instructions that none of our disciples should attend the conference. We are trying to stay out of sight, remember? So any Wei disciples there are not affiliated with Demon’s Lair.”

Wei WuXian was barely paying any attention to the man in front of him. “Please call the senior disciples here. I will be returning to Koi Tower tomorrow morning to prepare for the closing banquet. I hope I won’t need any back-up, but just in case…. I will send you a signal. Oh wait….” He looked up from the ball. “Can they fly on their swords? Do they have swords?”

Hua’s empty smile turned genuine for a second. “Yes, they all have swords. I will call them here, and if you give me a signal tomorrow, they can be at Koi Tower within an hour. Will that be sufficient?” 

The Yiling Patriarch nodded absently, his attention already centered upon the silver in his hands. He wrapped it in spiritual energy and sank his awareness into the device. He didn’t even notice when Hua took his leave. 

* * *

Wei WuXian arose for the day with the birds at false dawn and went for a walk. As Mo XuanYu, he did not rate the luxury of a guest room, so he slept in a dorm with the two teenagers while Wen Ning kept watch. Without Lan Zhan, though, his sleep was fitful and full of disturbing dreams. When the sun finally peeked its way above the horizon, Wei WuXian found himself standing on the edge of a large pond, boots wet with dew. Lan SiZhui had kept him silent company as he wandered. The two men watched as the sky above and water below changed from a deep purple to a dark blue and finally faded into a light blue. “It’s beautiful here,” Lan SiZhui offered.

Wei WuXian smiled down at his son. “It certainly is. I think I shall build my house here. A nice big one with lots of rooms for my children and plenty of space to run around. We can put a dock in over there and get some boats to paddle around in. Maybe grow some lotus plants. Would you want your own home here, too? You’re old enough to be thinking of your future family…. Or will you stay with us? Or in a dorm?”

Lan SiZhui sighed. “I’m not ready to think about getting married.”

Wei WuXian grinned. “That Ouyang XiaoDan seems to not agree with that sentiment.”

Lan SiZhui looked helplessly at his Baba. “She looks at me like she wants to eat me. She’s scary!”

The older laughed, “Trust me, A’Yuan, if she ever does ‘eat’ you, you will enjoy every second!”

The younger blushed and whirled around to face away as the innuendo penetrated his mind. “I cannot believe I’m having this discussion with you!”

Wei WuXian’s laughs increased; he clutched his belly to contain it. “Do you think you could have this conversation with your father?” He took a few breaths to calm himself down. “Seriously now: you can talk and flirt as much as you’d like. But make no promises you’re not ready to keep. And even something as simple as a kiss can be taken as a promise. If your urges to touch or kiss get too strong, take yourself into your own hands to solve the problem if you’re not both ready to make your bows. Do you understand what I’m saying?” 

Lan SiZhui nodded furiously; the blush had extended all the way around his neck and down into his robes. “Father already had a talk with me and made sure I knew where….” he was too embarrassed to continue. 

“He showed you the erotic books? Good. Did he tell you about massage oil?” The younger one shook his head, still refusing to look at his Baba. “You should buy a bottle or three. Reduces friction, makes it even more enjoyable!” This last was yelled out as the younger had fled. “Poor kid,” Wei Wuxian sighed. “I hope he’s not as innocent as I was.” He imagined his straight-laced husband showing A’Yuan where the pornographic books were in the library and telling him which ones were educational vs which ones were just for pleasure. And he started laughing again. When his chuckling died down, he continued his walk, and let his mind wander as it would. 

He climbed a hill to see over his domain. They were at the base of the foothills of the Yiling mountain range, so the hill wasn’t that high. But once at its summit, one could see the peaks in the distance getting larger and larger, and darker and grayer, until one saw that the highest peaks were tipped with white. This part of Yiling was beautiful, peaceful. The perfect place to inspire the creative mind. It would be an absolute shame to leave. Turning away from the mountains, he could see his pond and then the Sect buildings peeking out from the trees. He pulled out ChenQing from his sleeve and began playing a melody that had been wandering around in his brain for the last few days.  _ Maybe I’ll call it LanWei… or LanYing. _ Either name sounded quite funny to him. But the way it skipped merrily along in short bursts and then took long winding turns, it would be more appropriate to call it ‘fish playing in a brook’. 

Something crashed off to the side, and Wei WuXian lowered ChenQing to his lap. “Master Wei,” Wen Ning huffed. “You should pay more attention to your surroundings. I’ve killed three ghouls just since you started playing. And five more creatures on the way up.”

Wei WuXian smiled lazily. “Why should I pay attention when you’re around to protect me?” He idly twirled the flute through his fingers. “I almost envy you growing up here. Almost. I still think Lotus Pier is the best place.”

Wen Ning sat down next to his master. “I’ve never been up here. My sister wanted me to stay close to home back then…. So I was allowed to go to the pond and the river if I had guards with me. My cultivation skills were too low, really, for me to go on a proper night hunt up here. But we were healers, anyways… not fighters.”

Wei WuXian spun ChenQing again. “I don’t think I’m going to make a very good Sect leader.”

“You did just fine in the Burial Mounds!” Wen Ning tried to cheer him up.

“Leading a couple dozen farmers who already know what they’re doing when the best way to lead is to stay out of their way is a lot different than leading almost three thousand people. Plus I had your sister, back then. She did most of the hard work. I mostly played in my cave and kept the creatures at bay. No. Lan Zhan will make a proper Sect leader. He’s been training for this his whole life.”   
  
“Then what will you do, Master?”

“I’m going to do what I do best!” Wei Ying smiled over at his friend. “I’m going to solve problems and find other people who like to solve problems. And the first problem I’m going to ask my new friends to solve is how to produce books on a large scale. I have the basic idea floating in my head, but I still haven’t found the time to finish it. Once we have that, I’ll buy or make a copy of every book I can get my hands on. I’m going to fill as many buildings as we need until we have the largest library in the world. 

“And I’m going to open a school…. But not just any old boring school. The largest school in the world. We’ll have to teach reading and writing and math and history and all those boring things. But I’m going to add in fun stuff. How to create a spiritual object. We can have an entire set of courses devoted to medicines and healing. And another one for solving mechanical problems. Those classes on rare spiritual creatures? I’ll have them here. We can teach the warrior arts as well, find teachers with several different techniques and styles. And the best part? I’m going to offer this to everyone. Even disciples from other sects can come here to learn. Even people who can’t cultivate will come here and learn…. The Great Houses will send their sons here to learn governance and land management. Rich merchants will send their children to learn business practices and accounting. People who’ve always had a knack for figuring stuff out will come here to help me solve problems. Like… how to get hot water into and out of a tub without having to lug heavy buckets around and spilling water everywhere.”

“That’s a good problem to solve,” Wen Ning agreed out loud. Although in his head, he really didn’t see that problem as needing a grand solution. Just don’t fill the buckets till they were overflowing and walk carefully…. Then no water spilled on the floor. 

“It will be like Heaven on earth, my friend.”

“Are you going to change the name from Demon’s Lair, then? To Heaven?”

“Not Heaven… that’s a bit presumptuous. No… since this will be open to all, I’m going to call it....”


	30. Chapter 30

_“Well, actually… Lan WangJi is going to be acting as Sect Leader…. I have something slightly more appropriate to my skills planned….”_

Wei WuXian looked around the room at the cultivators hanging on his words. At his family, so staunchly defending him. At his children and the crowd of juniors behind them. There must be at least a hundred who had silently walked away from their own Sects and Clans to stand silently behind SiZhui’s back. And finally he looked at his husband, whose eyes were so full of absolute trust and love. Wei WuXian had to blink away excess moisture in his eyes. His whole body felt warm and heavy and almost hurt from the amount of support he was receiving. To Lan Zhan he added, “It’s not called Demon’s Lair anymore. It’s called Sanctuary.” Behind him, Li MeiLi squealed in surprise. He smiled, knowing there was another yet to come. “I’m going to open a school where we’re going to teach cultivators and mundanes alike. Whether or not they swear to the YilingWei Sect, they are welcome to attend. The first cultivator classes will be how to fight rare creatures on night hunts.” And there was the yell from OuYang ZiZhen, which rightly enough, was accompanied by whooping and yelling from the rest of the juniors. 

Sect Leader OuYang glared at his son’s antics for a brief moment before returning his attention to the Yiling Patriarch. “You’re going to become a teacher?”

“Mostly, I’m going to do research and solve problems I dream up…. But yes, I’m going to teach.”

OuYang nodded thoughtfully, and stroked his beard again. “I think my son is going to try to be your first pupil. All he’s been talking about the last few days are those creature classes of yours. Teach him some familial duty while you’re at it, eh?”

And with that, it appeared as if the conflict was over. The rising tension popped like a soap bubble. There were still some disapproving mutterings here and there as the food was brought out. But many cups of wine and toasts later, the reason for anyone ever being upset seemed far away and unknown. Many of the toasts were to the new brides and grooms, and while Lan XiChen only drank one cup to be polite, Li MeiLi accepted more than a few.

So she was delightfully tipsy when the banquet ended and more than willing to be scooped up into her new husband’s arms for the walk back to their room. He had purposefully left the place without a single candle burning; he wouldn’t need to see to love his bride and she might be more comfortable not seeing. And he had read that removing one sense made the others, especially touch, that more sensitive. He planned to spend the entire night touching…. He slowly let her slide down, keeping one arm around her back in case she stumbled. But she seemed steady enough on her feet; he leaned down, whispering, “I love you-oof!” His eyes shot open wide as something burned it’s way into his back. 

And again.

And again.

“Run!” he screamed and coughed up blood. 

“What?” Li MeiLi stood paralyzed, uncomprehending, his blood oozing down her face. “What?” And watched as her new husband jerked again and fell to his knees. 

“Run!” he choked out. 

A figure all in black appeared out of the darkness. “Run, bitch,” it hissed and held up a dripping blade. “I love the chase.” But instead of fleeing, she dropped to her knees and tried to pull Lan XiChen up. “Ah… young love. So tragic.” The blade rose and fell, not entirely concerned as to which body it struck. The figure in black watched as the bodies on the floor spasmed a few more times and then lay still, the blood pool surrounding them growing larger. “It didn’t have to be this way,” it said, almost politely. “But you chose the wrong bride.” 

The figure in black strode out of the room and locked the door as precaution in case the bride wasn’t as injured as he thought and tried to escape. Given the amount of blood, though, she should be ready for cremation before a stick of incense could burn down. He smiled at the thought. Maybe they should just burn the building down and save the later efforts…. But the instruction here was just to kill, not burn. 

* * *

In another room, not too far away, the roles of sober and drunk were reversed. Jiang Cheng fell, limbs askew, onto their bed with a huge grin on his face. “We won! No fighting! And I got to show off the most beautiful woman in the world as my wife! Ha! Wei WuXian might have a handsome husband, but he’ll never compare to my Wen Qing!” For her part, Wen Qing was fighting a smile of her own. The heavy weight hanging over her head was gone. Disappeared. She was free. Completely free of the burden of being a Wen. Jiang Cheng struggled to lift his head up. “Qing'Er? Let’s make a baby tonight!”

She smiled and shook her head. “You know I’m not healthy enough yet. Give me another few months.”

His head fell back down. “Then let’s practice making a baby tonight,” he giggled, hands fiddling with his belt. “Help me, will you?” he begged. “The buckle seems to have sealed itself shut….”

Wen Qing reached out to undo the perfectly normally behaving belt and then paused, sniffing the air. “Do you smell that?”

“Smell what? Wine? Soap? Incense?”

“Smoke. I smell smoke.” She stood up to look around the room and fell backwards onto Jiang Cheng.

“Why are you so clumsy?”Jiang Cheng wondered drunkenly. “Come on; get up.” When she didn’t move, he wiggled his way out from under her. “I’m the drunk one here,” he lectured. He looked uncomprehending at her face: white with shock, tears streaming down, mouth gasping for air like a fish. Then he noticed the two feathered shafts sticking out, one from each rib cage. And her light lilac robes slowly turning a dark red. “Wen Qing!” he screamed, sobering immediately. “Guards! Help! We’re under attack!” His fingers worked quickly, sealing her acupoints and stopping the blood flow. “Help me,” he begged his wife. “Do I remove the arrows? Or will that just make everything worse.”

She shook her head. “Leave… a hand…’s length… and break… the rest...” she wheezed hoarsely. Jiang Cheng nodded, and grasped the shafts, but paused, not only at her cries of pain as the arrowheads shifted, but at the curl of smoke drifting past. 

He turned to see the door and three of the walls slicked with flames. Looking up, he could see red embers as the roof caught fire. “They’re going to try to burn us out,” he stated dispassionately. Inside his head, deep down where even he could barely hear it, he wondered where his guards were. Turning back to his wife, he placed his hands on one of the arrows again. “On the count of three,” he warned. “One, two,” and twisted. Wen Qing screamed and passed out. “Good,” he muttered and broke off the second arrow. He threw out a tendril of spiritual energy and called Sandu to his hand. He sat on the bed thinking hard about how to escape this inferno. The obvious way out was to blast a hole in a wall with Sandu and jump out. but jump out to what? More assassins with bows? They’d fill him full of arrows as soon as he made the hole! He wished, not for the first time (and hopefully not the last!) that he was almost as smart as his brother. Speaking of Wei WuXian…. Those damn messenger butterflies of the Lan would be a helpful trick to know right now…. But right now, the priority was protecting his wife. 

Jiang Cheng cut his finger on Sandu’s blade and drew a rune on the floor. He pulled blankets off the bed and built a nest on the floor over the mark, then carefully placed Wen Qing in the nest. She blinked her eyes open upon being moved and grimaced in pain. “I need to get help. You need to stay here. Use your bracelets; I’ve drawn half the talisman to create fresh air. Once you’ve activated them, I’ll draw the other half. You stay safe here until I come back for you.”

Wen Qing weakly grasped her husband’s arm. “Stay… with… me…” she panted. 

He smiled as if he didn’t have a care in the world. “I’ll be back in a few minutes with help. Don’t worry.” 

Her hand fell away as she felt the lie dig into her chest; it hurt worse than the arrows. “I will wait for you, then. Hurry back.” 

He moved back, and she activated the golden net. Then he drew a matching talisman on top. “There. Fresh air. No smoke will get in. The fire won’t be able to hurt you. I will be back in a few minutes.” Then he turned away trying to decide which wall gave him a better chance of escaping. _I have loved you for twenty years; I will love you until my dying breath_ he promised silently. And fervently prayed to every ancestor and any gods paying attention that their dying breaths were still fifty years or more away. 

He chose the short side on the opposite side of the house. Logically, there should be fewer people facing the short sides than the long sides. And that was the side that faced Wei Ying’s room and ZeWu-Jun’s. There were guards posted outside each of those rooms; he should be able to take them to get back to rescue A’Qing. He stumbled slightly on his way over; his body shaking off the aftereffects of the wine, even though his mind was now clear. 

The fire had already eaten a small hole in the chosen wall. He just had to roll through it and fend off any archers. He stripped off his robes, the less to worry about catching on fire, and tucked through the hole in just his shirt and trousers. Sandu was a blur all around him, spinning and darting trying to fend off the wave of arrows as he ran. But for every five or ten that Sandu broke, at least one came through. He didn’t even feel the arrows hit, didn’t feel the ground as he fell; all he could see was multiple buildings already blazing brightly. “Wen Qing…”

A figure in black kicked the dying man. “Traitor! We fought to exterminate the Wen dogs and you married one of them! Tonight she burns the way she was supposed to fourteen years ago.” He gave another kick. “And we put you down just like the dog you are!”

* * *

Wen Ning was lonely. 

His sister was alive and well, and now safe. He wanted to talk with her, learn more about those fourteen years of being locked up. But she was married now, and her place was with Jiang WanYin. Her life would revolve around him and their future children…. 

Master Wei, his preferred companion, was also newly married, and now about to start a life as a Sect leader and school master. The juniors were off getting drunk; being with drunk people was only tolerable when one was also drunk. Which he couldn’t be anymore. 

Perhaps he should emulate Master Wei and adopt a child. Then he’d have companionship for a few years at least…. Or maybe he could find a quiet girl who wouldn’t mind having an undead husband. Although women typically wanted children…. 

Could he even give this hypothetical woman children? He glanced down towards his waist. He wasn’t even sure if his equipment worked anymore…. He hadn’t felt aroused since the day he first woke up in the cave in the Burial Mounds. 

A group of young, drunk, cultivators staggered towards him, yelling out, “Oh look! It’s the Ghost General!” He tried to stay out of their way, but they surrounded him, touching him, teasing him. He stayed still, knowing that if he wasn’t careful, any attempt to get away would hurt these young men, and he didn’t want that. Then something punched the back of his head, hard, and he knew nothing else.

* * *

Lan SiZhui was giggling. He _never_ giggled. But, oh did this feel good! He staggered sideways as the wine sloshed in his stomach throwing him off balance. OuYang ZiZhen steadied him before tripping over a few pieces of grass that were in the way. They both started laughing hysterically at their clumsiness. There was a group of about fifteen boys headed to Jin Ling’s room to continue drinking. Well, sometimes it was fifteen and sometimes it was closer to twenty depending on which ones had their twins randomly showing up and then leaving…. Lan SiZhui looked at the stairs leading up to Jin Ling’s room and frowned. How the Hell was he going to get up there? One foot lifted up to try to get onto the first stair and fell back to the ground. He tried again with the same result. Then he had an absolutely brilliant idea to use the other foot! Picking up both feet at the same time, he ended up lying flat on his back staring at the stars. “Pretty…” he murmured.

Two female faces swam in front of his face. “Do you really think so?” they asked.

Lan SiZhui rubbed at one blurry eye; nope there were still twin XiaoDans blocking his view. “When did you get a sister?” he asked, all confused. The faces swayed a bit and merged into one. “Oh, she left…. Good. One of you is difficult enough.”

“Do you think I’m pretty?” the remaining girl asked, frowning.

The boy struggled to sit up; there was something in the back of his mind screaming at him to leave her. But since it neglected to say why, he decided to ignore it. “You’re not allowed to be pretty,” he announced pompously. “That’s the rule of friends’ sisters. Sisters who are married with children are allowed to be beautiful, and sisters who are unmarried are allowed to be cute. But never pretty.” He slapped the ground to emphasize his words.

“Oh,” OuYang XiaoDan sighed. “Then… do you think I’m cute?”

Lan SiZhui turned his head sharply to look at her, making his head spin and the twin come back. “Your sister is cute,” he offered as a compromise, looking back and forth between the two of them. “I guess you’re cute, too,” he added as an apology as both girls looked sad. Apparently that was the correct thing to say as the twin left and the remaining sister smiled broadly at him.

“I think you’re cute, too.”

“Cute’s good,” he nodded sagely and grabbed his stomach in an attempt to keep its contents in place. “S’better than pretty. A’Ling says I’m pretty like a girl. One of my dates told me she wouldn’t marry me because I’m prettier than she is. I’d rather be handsome like my fathers…. But if I can’t be handsome, then I like being cute.”

Something cool brushed his cheek. “I think you’re handsome,” a disembodied voice said to his ear. 

“What was that?” he grumbled, swiping at his cheek. 

OuYang XiaoDan sighed. “A kiss.”

Lan SiZhui stared at her, mind completely blank, for a minute. Finally he gathered his wits enough to state in his best imitation of his grandmaster: “Girls should never kiss boys first.”

“Why not?”

“It’s a rule!” he yelled. “The boy should always be the one to kiss first. That’s just the way it’s supposed to be!”

Apparently he hadn’t thought that one through as it brought an even larger smile to OuYang XiaoDan’s face. “Fine. You kiss me first,” she ordered. 

He blinked at her, trying to find what was wrong with this logic. Finally, he seized a sliver of rationality. “You already kissed me first, so I can only kiss you second!”

“I kissed you the way a little girl kisses a little boy. You’re a man…. You need to kiss me the way a man kisses a woman.” His gaze dropped to her mouth and his heartbeat sped up. “Don’t you want to kiss me, ZhuiGege?” she asked. 

He nodded eagerly and reached out to caress her bottom lip with a finger tip. “So soft….” he whispered in awe. But then he frowned. “Why is it hard?” he asked completely puzzled. 

“What’s hard?” OuYang XiaoDan was puzzled, too.

“I am,” he answered matter-of-factly and looked down at his lap. “I can get hard just by thinking about a kiss? Interesting.” 

As what he said penetrated her brain, OuYang XiaoDan was very grateful for the darkness covering her blush. “Are you going to kiss me or not?”

“I don’t think I’m supposed to kiss you,” he said slowly. “Baba said if I want to kiss a girl before we get married, I should take myself in hand instead.” One hand slid over his lap causing his eyes to flutter shut in pleasure; he let out a low moan of frustration as he forced his hand away. “I should probably wait until I’m alone, though. I don’t think this is the kind of thing a girl is supposed to watch.” He turned back to her just a tad too fast. As he opened his mouth to ask her to leave so he could relieve himself, his stomach finally rebelled against the alcohol, and he vomited. 

OuYang XiaoDan managed to move fast enough to avoid most of the splash. “Why did you drink so much if you can’t hold your liquor?” she muttered.

Lan SiZhui collapsed on the ground and rolled away from the smelly mess on the ground. “I only had two cups,” he wheezed. 

The younger person tsked and sighed. “Well. Maybe you’ll learn your lesson, then. Sit up, huh? I’ll help you into his highness’s room and let them clean you up.” Together they struggled to get him upright and up the steps. She almost dropped him when she opened the door.

Inside was over a dozen teenagers writhing and clutching their stomachs. Most of them were lying in vomit. “What happened?” she cried out, and then she did drop Lan SiZhui in her hurry to get to her brother. 

“Poison,” he gasped. “I think the wine is poisoned.” 

She looked back to call for help only to see Lan SiZhui curled up in a ball, sleeping. “What should I do?” she begged. 

“Get Father. And Wen Qing. Quickly!” ZiZhen doubled over in pain. “Go!” he yelled. 

OuYang XianDan nodded and ran outside only to pause on the landing upon seeing the orange flames. “Koi Tower is burning! Gege! What do I do now? Gege!”

A figure in black strode out of the semi-darkness. “You join your brother, little girl. Don’t worry, it’s not strong enough to kill you…. You supported the Wen dogs and that bitch marrying ZeWu-Jun. But we’re magnanimous. We’ll only make you very sick.” 

OuYang XiaoDan reached into her sleeve and grabbed a bottle. She quickly flung the contents at the man in black and ran hoping that the powder would disorient him enough for her to get away. She didn’t account for his accomplices hiding in the darkness. They grabbed her and dragged her back, kicking and screaming. With each martial arts move she tried to use, her captors countered, and she remained firmly within their grasps. “Should we teach her a lesson?” one leered and pawed at her breast. “She was willing to spread her legs for that Lan brat….” 

Petrified, she screamed until the first man slapped her into silence. “Rape is not the answer here.” He held out a cup. “Drink up, little girl, or I will let him have his way with you…. And then you’ll drink it anyway.” She struggled more, frantically trying to escape. He sighed and grabbed her chin. “Trust me, little girl. He’s got no finesse; you won’t enjoy it. Better to just be sick for a few days instead of his whore.” At a look, the third man punched her right kidney. She collapsed in agony, fighting to breathe through the pain, and the first one took that opportunity to force the cup’s contents down her throat. “See?” he gloated. “Not so bad?” To his subordinates, he ordered. “Put her in with the others and lock the door.” 

The men came back to their leader. “Should we set this one on fire, too?”

“No. They’re young and ignorant. Both can only be cured by growing older. That’s not worth killing over.” He looked over Koi Tower and the increasing number of buildings burning. “I think we’ve done a good job tonight.” 

* * *

Lan Sizhui woke up almost an hour later to a splitting headache and nausea. _How does Baba do this?_ “I am never going to drink again,” he promised massaging his skull. Sitting up and looking around, he saw his friends groaning in agony or passed out. He hoped they were merely passed out…. “ZiZhenGe… what happened?”

OuYang ZiZhen was cradling his sister’s limp body. “The wine here was poisoned. And Koi Tower is burning. Whoever did this… they hurt XiaoDanMei. And locked us in.” Lan SiZhui looked at the windows. Even in his hung-over state, he could easily escape through them. “They’re guarding the building,” ZiZhen continued. “They don’t want to kill us, it seems, but they won’t let us leave, either.”

Lan SiZhui concentrated for a bit; three translucent butterflies appeared on his palm and flew off. After a few minutes, he staggered to a window. Before him lay darkness lit by orange flames. The quiet night was pierced by men and women yelling as they tried to combat the flames. Lan SiZhui sent out three more butterflies. Behind him, Lan JingYi groaned. “They’re not answering. I sent messages to everyone I could think of…. No one here is answering. I sent one to my parents, but they won’t be able to get here until late morning at the earliest….” 

Lan SiZhui felt something wet run down his face. He held his hand out the window, and muttered, “Weird. It’s not raining.”

OuYang XiaoDan moved off her brother to stand, clutching her stomach, next to Lan SiZhui. “What’s weird?”

He looked at her, puzzled. “My face is wet, but it’s not raining.”

“You’re crying, LanGege,” she answered gently. 

He looked down at her and suddenly remembered what he had done and said earlier. And felt an immediate wave of revulsion and self-loathing. _My family is out there dying and I was drunk! They are being burned, and I wanted to kiss you! Liu and XiaoShu must be so scared and I am not there protecting them! I was here trying to jerk myself off!_ “Go away!” he yelled. “You got your answer to your question…. Now go away and leave me alone!”

“LanGege…” she begged.

“If my family is dead because I was here, drunk, trying to kiss you, I will _never_ forgive myself! I will never forgive _you_! Go away, XiaoDan! Leave me alone!” He collapsed onto the floor, convulsing, sobbing. 

“You kissed my sister!” OuYang ZiZhen yelled.

“Gege,” XiaoDan soothed. “He didn’t…. I wanted him to. Gege... I… I really like him. Really, really like him…. So I asked if he wanted to kiss me…. He said yes, but then he said he wouldn’t…. He didn’t do anything wrong….” She turned to place a hand on Lan SiZhui’s shoulder. “You didn’t do anything wrong, LanGege. If they’re… hurt. It’s not your fault.”

Lan SiZhui wiped at his face. “Why won’t they answer?”

“Maybe they’re too busy fighting the fires.”

“It takes seconds to send a message. That Father hasn’t sent one… that he hasn’t responded. Uncle XiChen. Grandmaster. Why won’t they answer me.” He curled up, wrapping his arms around his shins and tucking his face into his knees. “Liu… XiaoShu… must be so scared…. Why don’t they answer?”

OuYang XiaoDan sat down and rubbed his back. “Our fathers are so strong…. I’m sure they’re safe. Just busy saving other people. We’re safe in here…. Or we will be once we get the poison out of our bodies…. Once we’re at full strength, we can find a way to escape and help with the fires, too. Liu and XiaoShu are survivors…. A fire isn’t going to stop them….” She talked until she was hoarse, not really paying attention to her words. She was, like the others, concentrating on eliminating the poison running through her body. And trying to get her Core to heal her hurt kidney. And not letting her head even think that the reason there were no Lan butterflies answering SiZhui’s call was because his relatives were dead. _They can’t be dead. Father. Mother. Senior Wei. HanGuang-Jun. ZeWu-Jun. Li MeiLi. Liu. XiaoShu. They can’t be dead. They just can’t…._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello dear readers.
> 
> On a good day, I write about 500 words. On a great day, I can get in about 1k. This chapter.... I wrote 3k words in just under 4 hours. This was the easiest chapter I've ever written. So I had to post it a bit early. 
> 
> I'm approaching the end of this story. Maybe 6-10 more chapters at most.... 
> 
> Thank you for taking this journey with me. If you like it, please let me know with a comment or an up-vote.


	31. Chapter 31

Wei WuXian ate and drank, smiling happily throughout the dinner. It appeared that the rumors were finally squashed completely. And while Liu would not let him touch her or help her with her food, at least she wasn’t cringing away from him or giving him strange looks anymore. It hopefully wouldn’t be much longer before she knew that the Yiling Patriarch was indeed just the XianGege she had played with. He looked down at XiaoShu sleeping in his arms and silently thanked his husband for having the foresight to have the child wear his sleeping pants to the banquet. 

Sleeping children… brought up a slight problem that he hadn’t considered before. Wei WuXian glanced sideways at his spouse who had his own sleeping child. After a restless night spent alone, he was hungry to touch. And be touched. And filled. How did parents handle getting their loving in with children sleeping only a few meters away! And in some households, infants and toddlers slept in the parents’ bed! Did they not have sex anymore? That couldn’t be correct…. There were plenty of families where the children were only a year apart…. 

Were they going to be limited to furtive gropings and quick tumbles when the children were out playing or in school? Or was he going to have to be silenced and hidden under the blankets? 

He sighed and blew his bangs away, frustrated both physically and emotionally.  _ This banquet will never end! _ Lan WangJi’s mouth twitched. “Bored?” he asked quietly.

“I missed a lot of these when we were younger. I always thought I was missing out on something important.”

Lan WangJi held his cup of tea up in respect to the next toast. “The important part is always at the beginning. People are too drunk at the end. Speaking of which… are you sober?”

“Regrettably so,” Wei WuXian admitted. “It’s rather hard to drink when there’s a child laying in your arms.” He looked at his husband’s lap wistfully. Liu was curled up on the floor with her head pillowed on his thigh leaving his arms free. “You probably could carry all three of us back, but….” His mind wandered back to their sleeping arrangements. “Lan Zhan? Back in Cloud Recesses… how old are children when they move out of their parents’ houses and into the student dorms?”

“Most of them move around their twelfth birthdays. Why?”

Wei WuXian tried to look innocent. “I was just thinking about how we were going to get any work done at night now….”

_ Missed me, did you? _ Lan Zhan smirked. “Don’t worry. There were plenty of nights that I needed A’Yuan to sleep so I could work. There are ways to make children sleep through the night.”

“Ahh. Good. I’m not worried,” Wei Ying lied. “I was just wondering.”

“Of course.” Lan Zhan agreed serenely.

“Perhaps you could show me one or two of those tricks tonight?” Wei Ying asked innocently. “Just purely for research purposes, of course.”

“Of course,” Lan Zhan agreed dryly. “Research is important.”

“Of course, testing one’s research is also very important,” Wei Ying offered helpfully.

Lan Zhan looked straight into Wei Ying’s eyes. “I will absolutely help you test out your research. Make sure you have a firm grasp on the subject.” 

“Learn all the ins and outs,” Wei Ying whimpered and moved XiaoShu’s bum slightly further into his lap and away from his groin.

“Make sure any moving parts are well lubricated. Exhaust all the possibilities.” Lan Zhan, of course, looked as cool and unbothered as he had five minutes ago while Wei Ying was praying that the hot flush he was feeling all over was completely internal. Or could be attributed to the wine. 

“Lan Zhan,” Wei Ying whined softly. “When did you learn to talk like that?”

Lan Zhan raised his cup of tea for yet another toast. “Wei Ying… I have absolutely no idea what you’re talking about,” he claimed.

Wei Ying pouted, and in his best little cute voice whimpered, “Lan’Er Gege….” Lan Zhan’s tea cup cracked in his hand spilling tea all over the table. He turned and glared at his husband who was now putting on his very best impersonation of an innocent child.

“Wei Ying…” Lan Zhan growled.

“Yes, Gege?”

“If you say that again…” Lan Zhan threatened. 

“You’ll what?” Wei Ying purred. “Lan’Er Gege… is XianXian in trouble?”

“You won’t be walking tomorrow.”

“Do you promise? Does Lan’Er Gege really promise to make it so XianXian won’t be able to walk tomorrow?”

Lan Zhan carefully eased Liu off his leg and stood up. “Let’s go, XianXian. The little ones need their beds.” And as he reached down to pick Liu up, he whispered in Wei Ying’s ear. “I want you on your knees sucking me off.” Wei Ying scrambled up, eagerly awaiting their playtime.

A half hour later, Wei Ying was naked on his hands and knees before Lan Zhan, mouth watering, feeling that thick rod sliding back and forth…. Those first minutes of sucking were lovely; being able to control Lan Zhan’s pleasure using just his lips and tongue was intoxicating. And then in the final minutes, when Lan Zhan lost all semblance of control and roughly fucked his mouth…. He loved looking up and seeing Lan Zhan’s normally placid exterior replaced by one of pure need…. Wei Ying swallowed as much of the salty liquid as he could, but there was just _so_ _much_ of it, some inevitably spilled out and dribbled down his chin. Lan Zhan sat heavily on the bed, reached over and wiped up the mess with his fingers. “Such a messy eater.” Wei Ying grabbed the semen coated fingers and sucked them clean. “You don’t have to do that, you know…. You can just spit it out.”

Wei Ying rotated his jaw, trying to relieve some of the soreness. “It’s rather hard to spit your stuff out when you shove your thing halfway down my throat,” he complained, only half serious. Then he made his cutest face, “Lan’Er Gege gave XianXian something to eat. It’s only good manners to eat every bite.”

“Gege has been thinking about what Didi said last time…. I want you to come inside me.” At Wei Ying’s speculative look, he added. “Our first time together… you let me come inside you even though it wasn’t something you were sure you wanted. You just wanted to please me. And it became something that gave both of us pleasure. Why is it wrong for me to want to please you? How will I know if this is something that will give me pleasure if I never try it?” He placed the massage oil bottle in Wei Ying’s palm. “Do you want me face up or down?”

Wei Ying poured some oil onto his fingers. “Face up, please. So I can see you.” Lan Zhan lay down, drew the cleansing talisman on his belly, and slowly spread his legs. The younger man settled between them, sitting on his heels. “Tell me when it feels good or if it hurts. I’ll try to make it feel really good, OK?” He edged one finger in slowly, pumping it in a bit further each time. Hot. Tight. Soft. He could feel himself getting harder. “Oh fuck,” he breathed. “This is going to be even more amazing than your mouth.” His whole finger was finally in and feeling Lan Zhan’s internal muscles squeezing him. “Please tell me I’m not hurting you.”

“It doesn’t hurt,” Lan Zhan said slowly. “It feels weird…. Not bad… just different.”

Wei Ying looked up from his hand to his husband’s eyes. “Can I move it now? I need to stretch you and find that spot. You’ll feel really good when I find it,” he promised. At Lan Zhan’s nod, he started to move his finger in and out, trying to stretch the narrow tunnel a bit, getting it used to the penetration. When his finger was able to move easily, he added a second, and then a third. Lan Zhan made no response except to hold his breath a bit longer when a new finger was introduced. And to bite his bottom lip when finally all three fingers were fully embedded for the first time. At this, Wei Ying held his hand still, “Are you OK, Lan Zhan? Am I hurting you?”

“Yes, it hurt for a bit. But it’s better now…. It’s just very uncomfortable… I think because I’m not used to it.”

“I’m… I’m going to make it feel really good. Just let me find that spot….” He slowly pulled his fingers out, pressing up and out. He knew exactly where the place was inside him, but it was different trying to find it inside his lover. He pumped a few times, searching, before Lan Zhan almost sat up.

“Wei Ying! Stop! I need…!”

“Ah… there it is….” Wei Ying smiled. 

“No! You need to let me up!” Lan Zhan insisted as Wei Ying’s fingers pressed again. 

Wei Ying memorized where he was touching, and then did as his lover asked, pulling his hand away. “You don’t need to pee. That’s the pleasure place. When you hit it when you’re inside me…. It feels so fucking good!” 

Lan Zhan sat up. “Are you sure about this?”

Wei Ying pressed a loving kiss to his husband’s lips. “We can stop if you want. You can come inside me instead.” He wrapped a hand around Lan Zhan’s shaft and began pumping. “I love it when you fill me up….”

Lan Zhan lay back down slowly, bringing his lover’s body down with him. “No,” he murmured against Wei Ying’s lips. “Come inside me. I’m ready.” 

Still kissing, Wei Ying’s hips edged forward, shaft slipping in the narrow crack, hunting for the passageway. Finding the small hole, Wei Ying’s body pressed forwards and in, steadily pressuring the narrow channel to accept him. “Oh fuck!” he breathed over and over at the intense pressure and pleasure. “Stop squeezing me,” he warned, “or this is going to be over before I can even begin!” Finally, he could move no further. “Is this OK? Lan Zhan,” he begged, “Are you OK? Can I move?”

Lan Zhan nodded through the pain, gripped his husband’s back. “I’m fine. You can move.” It hurt. Not like breaking a bone hurt, but it hurt!  _ How does Wei Ying enjoy this?  _ And Wei Ying had prepared his body better than he had prepared Wei Ying’s that first night! He breathed slowly and deeply as the object invading his ass began moving in and out. But then Wei Ying changed his angle of attack until he started brushing against that spot he had found earlier. “Fuck!” Lan Zhan yelled, surprising even himself.  _ This is why he loves me coming inside him! Oh.... Gods!  _ One hand tightened its grip on Wei Ying’s back while the other slipped in between them to stroke himself. He lost himself in the dual stimulation until his body could not handle it anymore. Above him, Wei Ying’s body lost its rhythm and began jerking as he released his pleasure. 

Wei Ying collapsed onto his husbands’ body. “That was amazing!” He weakly raised his head to look up. “Did you like it?” Receiving a nod, he plunked his head back down onto Lan Zhan’s chest. “We’ll have to do that again sometime then…. Not now… I’m tired.”

“Sleep then,” Lan Zhan wrapped his arms around his lover and held tight.

“Need to clean up…” Wei Ying complained. “Covered in our stuff.” The fluid trapped between their bodies felt sticky. And he knew from experience that having that stuff puddled under Lan Zhan’s ass was probably uncomfortable. He looked up again. “Let’s take a bath, huh?”

“OK.”

Wei Ying pushed himself up. “Wow. Being on top makes you work really hard! I’m much hotter than when you’re the one on me!”

Lan Zhan sat up as he saw a tendril of smoke drift past his face. “That’s not you being hot….” He looked around at the flames starting to eat the walls. “The room is on fire.”

Instantly alert, Wei Ying drew the semen cleansing rune with one hand and grabbed his clothing off the floor with the other. Dressing quickly, he hurried across the room to check on the children while Lan Zhan sent his awareness outside of the room. “The kids are fine,” Wei Ying offered.

“The room is surrounded by archers. If we leave, they’re going to try to kill us. Can you contact Wen Ning?”

Wei Ying whistled and waited. When a few minutes had passed and the only response was an increase in the flames’ intensity, he stomped his feet in frustration. “They must have gotten to him first. And there are no corpses in Koi Tower for me to use.” He grabbed the new tassel hanging at his waist with its silver bell and sent a message through it. “Reinforcements should be here in about an hour. So how do we survive a burning building until they come?” 

Lan Zhan held out his hand for a messenger butterfly to land on. “A’Yuan is safe with the juniors. They’re in your nephew’s room under guard. Probably the same set of people who set this place on fire.”

“Good,” Wei Ying muttered “Let them stay there. Tell him we’re fine here.” He was thinking rapidly.  _ How do we survive the fire until Hua comes? _

Lan Zhan let the butterfly dissolve. “I’m not telling him anything. If I say we’re OK, he’s going to expect to be rescued. And if I say we’re holed up in a burning building, he’s going to want to rescue us. This way, he’ll stay put and not do anything rash. The other juniors were poisoned, so….”

“Poisoned?” Wei Ying whirled around. “You just said they were fine!”

“They  _ are _ fine,” Lan Zhan insisted. “They all know how to heal themselves from this. It’s not one of the fast acting ones. This just makes them sick for a few days at the most. They just need a bit of time to expel everything. What they don’t need is to try to battle those guards  _ and _ detoxify themselves at the same time. While they’re healing, A’Yuan needs to be the responsible one and keep them safe. He won’t do that if he knows we’re in trouble.”

“When you don’t answer, he’ll think we’re dead….”

“If we’re dead, we don’t need to be rescued, do we? But his friends… they’ll need him to stay strong. Somehow, he’s the only one who didn’t drink the poisoned wine….”

“He was probably too drunk to drink anything more,” Wei Ying muttered. He hated letting his older son think they were dead, but Lan Zhan was right. Those kids needed to stay safe. He resumed trying to solve their own problems…. “We need fresh air to breathe and protection from the flames and anything that falls down….” Air he could handle. Protection from the flames was another matter. A quick look around the room showed that everything in it was flammable. Everything except for a knee-high metal box…. “Lan Zhan, grab anything valuable that we absolutely cannot lose and shove it in a qiankun pouch or your sleeves,” he ordered emptying the box.

“What are you thinking?” the older man asked.

“We’re going to hide in this box until the fire goes out.” Wei WuXian began the spell necessary to turn an ordinary bag into a qiankun pouch. And modified it as he went along for a box. When he was sure he had it right, he grabbed the bedding and shoved it in. Then he climbed in himself. When nothing bad happened, he climbed back out, and went to get the children. “Do you think we should wake them up?” he grinned. “This is going to be quite the adventure!” He began another spell, this one strengthening the box’s exterior and adding additional protections against flame and heat. And then he placed another spell, this time one that would keep the box’s lid free from objects. That way, when the ceiling fell, nothing would stop them from being able to open the lid. Stepping into the box again, he drew runes on the sides for fresh air. Lan Zhan passed him first XiaoShu and then Liu; Wei Ying laid them carefully in the bedding. Finally, Lan Zhan joined them and shut the lid.

It was pitch black in the box; Wei Ying felt around until he could touch Lan Zhan. And climbed into his lap. “Are you sure they’re going to stay asleep? I don’t want them to wake up scared, but I also don’t want to have light in here.”

“They’ll sleep until I wake them up or after eight hours have passed.”

“Oh…. Then…. Earlier… did you really like it? When I was inside you?”

“Mm. I liked it. More than I thought I would. Not as much as I enjoy being inside you.”

Wei Ying wiggled in pleasure at that admission. “Lan’Er Gege?”

“Wei Ying!” Lan Zhan hissed. 

“I can’t help it!” the younger whined. “We’re cuddled in the dark and I’m hard again! As much as I loved being inside you, I miss having you inside me!” In his little boy voice, he asked, “And besides… Gege promised XianXian…. You promised I wouldn’t be able to walk tomorrow…. I’m holding you to your promise! Fire or no fire, I need you. I ache for you.” 

“Shameless!” Lan Zhan called out. But at the same time, he was unhooking the loops that held their robes closed. 

Wei Ying let his hand wander down his husband’s chest to his belly and then further down. “I’m shameless?” he teased, rubbing his fingers up and down the throbbing object he found. “You’re as hard as I am!”

In one smooth motion, Wei Ying found himself pushed off the lap and flat onto his back with his trousers pulled off. A few seconds later, his knees were spread and pushed towards his face, and Lan Zhan buried himself deep. “I wanted to do this in the cave,” the elder admitted, rocking back and forth. 

“Which cave?” Wei Ying gasped.  _ The burn felt so good! _

“All of them. Any time it was just you and I alone, I wanted to do you like this.”

“I wish you had in XuanWu’s cave. I thought I was going to die of boredom before the fever killed me! This would have been so much more interesting!”

“If we had, I would never have let you stay in Lotus Pier. I would have made you go back to Gusu with me to find my brother.”

“Do you think I would have minded? You’re worth staying in Cloud Recesses for! I think it would have killed your uncle, though…. I’m rather surprised he didn’t keel over tonight….”

Lan Zhan rocked especially hard making his lover gasp. “Stop talking about him…. Your stone bed in the Burial Mounds…. I wanted to bend you over it, spread your legs and come so hard into you, you screamed loud enough for the people in Yiling City to hear you. In the Unclean Realm, I wanted to drag you into an empty room and force you to suck me dry…. The night you killed Wen Chao…. I was so happy to see you alive… I wanted to fall to my knees and suck you off. Every night since you returned to me… I’d dream of making you mine….” He moved harder and faster, the sound of skin slapping skin loud and echoing inside the box. “Since the days you spent copying the Lan Rules in the library, I’ve had lewd dreams about doing this to you. There are days I question my sanity because all I can think about is being inside you….”

Wei Ying’s whole body was pulsing with pleasure. The relentless attack on his insides. The verbal outpouring of love and lust attacking his brain. After their pleasure finally spilled over, he wrapped sweaty arms around his husband. “I love you, Lan Zhan. Love you so much. My heart, my body, my soul. They are all yours. Forever and ever yours until eternity ends.” 


	32. Chapter 32

Wei Ying snuggled into his husband’s sweaty body. It was difficult to do while laying underneath him, but not impossible. “I can still walk, you know,” he mentioned idly. “You’re going to have to work harder once we escape this inferno.”

Lan Zhan kissed the top of his lover’s head. “I’ll do my best. How long before your reinforcements arrive?”

“It should take them about an hour to get here, plus some time to assemble, and fight our assailants…. So… maybe another hour? Plenty of time to get another round in….”

Lan Zhan sat up and cleaned their bodies. “Plenty of time to dress and meditate and heal.” He lit a fire talisman and began sorting out their clothing. 

“I don’t need to heal, Lan Zhan! I’m perfectly capable of doing at least four more rounds before it will start to really hurt!”

“ _ You _ may be fine,” the other reminded him. “But  _ I _ … need to meditate.” 

“Does it hurt a lot still?” Wei Ying worried that he’d damaged his husband’s body with his inexperience. 

“A lot? No.” he admitted. Upon seeing Wei Ying’s concerned face, he soothed, “I will be fine in a bit. I just need to meditate for a while.”

So Wei Ying allowed Lan Zhan to dress in peace and begin meditation. Once he was sure the other was deep in a trance, the Yiling Patriarch began preparations of his own….

* * *

**_Pain!_ ** Li MeiLi screamed upon awakening.  _ My arms! My back! My Gods! _ “A’Chen! Are you all right? A’Chen!” Li MeiLi looked over at the barely visible dark head lying so still on her left shoulder. Her clothing felt sticky and tacky against her skin.  _ I can’t move my fingers. I can’t feel my hand! _ The young woman started hyperventilating; tears and snot streaming down her face. With great difficulty, she managed to regain enough control to light a few candles, and started screaming again upon seeing her free hand covered in drying blood. “A’Chen! Wake up,” she begged. She struggled to get out from under his weight and felt something warm and wet trickle down her back.  **_Pain!_ ** _ Dear gods this hurts! _ “Damn you, Lan Huan!” she cursed. “I can’t reach the acupoints on my back! You need to wake up!” Sitting up, she cursed again as the hand that had been trapped under Lan Huan’s body began to regain feelings. It felt like she was being stabbed by thousands of tiny needles. She reached out with a bloody hand to take his pulse and bit her lip to stop another scream as another scab broke under the strain and more blood started to drip down. His pulse was thready and weak, but he was alive. 

Li MeiLi gathered her strength and pushed her husband’s body over; that man had attacked from the back so his wounds must be there. But the robes were too bloody to see anything. She forced herself to stand and limp over to Shouyue lying on the floor. “I need you to work with me here,” she told the sword. “I don’t know how to use you properly, so don’t get mad at me, OK? I just need to see his back, and you’re what I’ve got.” Like Lan XiChen had taught her, she wrapped spiritual energy around the sword and grabbed the hilt. Again, that noise filled her head. “Just help me cut his robes off; I need to see where he’s hurt,” she begged and watched, astonished, as Shuoyue leapt out of her hand to its master. With a few short flicks, the robes and shirt were slit from neck to knees and down along each arm. Then it resheathed itself. “I thought you didn’t understand words,” she muttered. She carefully peeled the now rags down and swore loudly each time she reopened a wound. She pressed and prodded looking for the acupoints which would help her to cut off the blood flowing from his wounds. 

With that done, she shed her own bloody outer and inner robes and breathed heavily, trying to control her own pain. Ignoring that her shirt and trousers were also saturated with blood, she limped to the door, cringing as each step burned her back, only to find it locked from the outside. She hit it as loudly as she could, crying for help, until there was fresh blood streaming down her wrists.  _ They’re not coming. Why aren’t they coming? _ Li MeiLi rested her forehead against the door, trying to think clearly.  _ I need water for cleaning. And clean cloth to bind him up. And medicine to help him heal….  _ There was no medicine she could see doing a quick search of the boxes and chests in the room. She found a small basin of water which she supposed was to be used to wash their faces. She used a bit to wash the blood from her hands, and used the rest to wash his back. She pulled out an old but clean Wei disciple robe from her clothing chest and began tearing it into strips which she used to wrap his torso as best she could. Twelve stab wounds, some shallow and some deep, covered his back. There were another four on his shoulders and upper arms. Then she tied a few strips of cloth as best she could around her back and shoulder, in a poor attempt to bind her own wounds. 

Exhausted from her efforts, Li MeiLi fell onto the floor. Almost blind from pain, she started sobbing again. “Help us! Somebody help us!” she cried over and over until the pain took over, and she mercifully passed out again.

* * *

Jiang Cheng moaned. His chest hurt. His stomach hurt. His back hurt. His legs hurt.  _ What the Hell happened? _ “Don’t sit up yet,” a harsh voice ordered. 

“Grandmaster?” he asked groggily, opening his eyes to see a disheveled Lan Qiren standing over him.

The grandmaster brushed off a messenger butterfly. “That boy needs to concentrate on rescuing himself and not looking for us to rescue him! He’s seventeen already! You weren’t this hesitant at seventeen. And the gods know his fathers weren’t!”

“What? How?” Jiang Cheng asked. He wasn’t exactly sure what he wanted answered.

“Koi Tower is burning. I found you in an alleyway outside your room. Apparently they treated you as an archery butt and left you for dead. I’ve healed you as best I can, but it’s best if you stay out of trouble for at least another few hours.”

“Wen Qing? Is she all right?” Jiang Cheng’s heart spasmed at the memory of his wife struggling to breathe.

“I haven’t seen her,” Lan Qiren stated.

“I left her in our room; I was trying to get help….”

Lan Qiren sighed. “Your room is destroyed. The roof had already collapsed by the time I found you. If she was still inside… I’m sorry.”

“She should be protected…. My brother gave her…. Wei WuXian? Is he all right? The others? ” Tears were streaming down his face.

“I don’t know. I found you first, and you were dying. I’ve spent the last hour healing you. Your nephew will be fine. The juniors were given poisoned wine to drink. A mild poison!” he added as Jiang Cheng tried to sit up. “They’re expelling it even as we speak. They’ll be completely fine in a day or so. Jin RuLan’s room is under guard, most likely by the same faction that tried to kill you. They’re safe for now. XiChen and WangJi have not yet responded to SiZhui, though…. Hopefully they’re doing what I’m doing….”

“Which is what?”

“Letting the boy think we’re dead. He’ll be more cautious dealing with those guards if he doesn’t think a rescue is coming.”

“Is a rescue coming?”

“I doubt it. This faction is organized and hit multiple targets at once. Apparently, there are a lot of people not happy about the return of the Yiling Patriarch and the Wen.”

Jiang Cheng eased himself into a sitting position and groaned with the ensuing pain. “Are you sure they’ve targeted Wei WuXian?”

“His room was on fire, too. With about a hundred men surrounding it, so they think he’s still inside….”

* * *

“I feel like this is cheating,” Lan Zhan said after a while. Wei Ying was sitting on Lan Zhan’s lap in the dark again, the fire talisman having flamed out a while before.

“What? Because we’re not out there getting killed? And instead waiting to be rescued?” Wei Ying smiled. “If all they had was swords, I’d say let’s go. You and me against a hundred men would be winnable. Against a hundred archers? The last time I won that fight only because Wen Ning was there….” Wei Ying held up the little silver ball on his new tassel even though neither of them could see it. “This little ball is a marvelous invention. Hua can communicate with every senior disciple, individually or as a whole, at once no matter where they are. And they, in turn, can communicate directly with him. They’ll land in Koi Tower and they’re going to rescue A’ Yuan first. Then they’ll work their way over to us.”

“You’re having them rescue us last.” Lan Zhan stated.

“Of course!” Wei Ying grinned. He ran a loving hand over the embroidery on his husband’s robe. “A’Yuan may have chosen a phoenix as our symbol at random because I was reborn.... However… my opponents seem to have forgotten that you can’t kill a phoenix with fire….”

* * *

Lan SiZhui made a decision: he wasn’t going to sit around crying anymore. “XiaoDan,” he called out. “Give some spiritual energy to your brother.”

“Why?”

“We’re going to escape.” He stood up and faced his peers. “Pair up,” he ordered. “The sicker ones give energy to the healthier ones so they can expel the poison faster.”

OuYang XiaoDan protested. “I’m not that sick, LanGege. I can fight, too.”

Lan SiZhui glared at her. “You’re staying here.”

“Because I’m a girl?” OuYang XiaoDan glared right back.

He started counting off on his fingers. “Because you’re a girl. Because you’re my friend’s little sister, and he’ll kill me if anything happens to you. Because I don’t want you with me. Because I need someone I can trust to stay here and take care of the others. Take your pick.” He ignored her protests. He ignored all of their protests and whining about which ones were healthier than the others. In the end, there were seven boys standing at his side, paler than normal from the effects of over-indulging and expelling poison, but healthy enough. “Pick a partner,” he ordered, ignoring that he wasn’t the eldest of the group and therefore shouldn’t be the one issuing orders. “OuYang XiaoDan, you’re going to scream that we’re dying. All of us, or just one, I don’t care. But make it sound realistic. Like you’re really scared we’re dying in here.”

“And what’s that supposed to do?” Jin Ling asked.

“The poison was supposed to incapacitate us, not kill. Which means we’re supposed to be alive in the morning when this  _ thing _ is over. I can pretty much guarantee someone will come investigate,” Lan SiZhui supposed. “Anyways, they come in, we kill as many as we can, and escape. Stay with your partner. Fight as many here as you can, but the goal is to get help for the ones left in here. Find out who’s been targeted and who’s alive, and stuff. Master Wei, HanGuang-Jun, ZeWu-Jun, Jiang WanYin, your parents. Find someone you can trust and fight with them.” With that, OuYang XiaoDan hugged her brother tight, went towards a far window, and started screaming that her brother and Jin RuLan were dying. 

The plan went as well as one could expect from a seventeen year old with zero experience in creating escape plans. Two men in black did come into Jin Ling’s room to investigate the ‘dying’ boys and were promptly overwhelmed and killed. But as the eight healthier boys spilled out into the courtyard, the ones guarding the building were already running towards them, swords drawn, alerted by the dying cries of their comrades. And there were far more attackers than defenders. 

_ Shit! _ Lan SiZhui yelled in his head. Eight teenagers against almost thirty experienced adults? This wasn’t like fighting fierce corpses or monsters; these men moved fast and made horrible sounding noises. Their bodies spewed sticky yet slippery blood when they were hit. He ducked and whirled and slashed and blocked and wished that he had half of his fathers’ abilities. There were a few of the attackers down and not moving, but his side was faring worse. Two of his friends were lying on the ground and only one was crying. Jin Ling’s left side was dark with blood, and his own left hand was having trouble holding onto his scabbard because it was slippery with blood. He just hoped it wasn’t his own…. But the defenders kept going. Six against twenty. Five against fifteen. Just as Lan SiZhui was ready to feel like they might actually not lose, the courtyard was overrun by another group in black. His sword arm was already feeling numb, but now the rest of him went numb, too….  _ We’re going to die here. Father… Baba… I’m sorry. _ He knuckled away a new set of tears, and swerved to stand back to back with Jin Ling.  _ I’m sorry, A’Ling. _ “Jin RuLan, when you find an opening, run,” he ordered. “You’re a Sect leader; you cannot fall here. Fall back, find your men, and come back for us.” __

Jin Ling swore through his own tears. “I’m not leaving you here ZhuiGe! I’m staying with you until we kill every single one of these bastards!”

Lan SiZhui yelled back. “I’m your senior! Do as I command! Go find help before we’re all dead!” He lashed out, sword swinging through the guts of two opponents. He gagged upon seeing their entrails spill out. “Go!” he yelled out again, and screamed as a blade passed though his guard slicing his thigh. 

“Gege!” Jin Ling cried out feeling his cousin stumble against his back.

“Go!” Lan SiZhui ordered through his teeth. 

Jin Ling slashed at the neck of his opponent, and seeing a way out, started running, one hand holding his side. “I’ll come back for you!”

“Just stay alive.” Resolute that he would take as many of them with him as he could, Lan SiZhui embraced his fate and attacked with renewed vigor.

* * *

**_Pain!_ ** Lan XiChen awoke gasping and crying in agony. Every minuscule movement burned hotter and harder. He grit his teeth and forced himself to stop keening.  _ Li MeiLi! _ She was lying so still…. He reached out to check her pulse: unsteady but strong. He catalogued his own injuries: headache, back and shoulders on fire, stomach all right, Core sluggish but fine, legs….  _ Legs… I can’t feel my legs! _ He twisted enough to see that yes, they were still attached. But he felt no sensation. Couldn’t feel the floor. Couldn’t wiggle his toes. Nothing. 

He coughed lightly from the smoke and managed to hold back a scream of pain as his body complained.  _ Smoke? _ Looking around again, what he had thought was daylight peeking in through the windows was actually flames.  _ LiLi… I’m so sorry. _ He dragged himself closer to his wife and began transferring spiritual energy. 

“A’Chen,” she murmured, eyes blinking open and hazy with pain. “I’m sorry…. I couldn’t find any medicine. I don’t know how to heal you…. They locked us in, and I can’t…. I tried to call for help….”

“It’s fine, LiLi,” Lan XiChen tried to put as much hope into his voice as he could. “I’m giving you spiritual energy. That will help your wounds heal faster. When you feel well enough to stand for a bit, take Shuoyue, cut a hole in the wall, and go get help.”

“No!” she cried. “Show me how to transfer energy to you. Then you can go get help!”

“LiLi… my love… You need to be the one to go…,” he pleaded. “I… he hurt my legs really badly…. I can’t feel them.”

Li MeiLi shook her head. “I checked. There are no wounds on your legs.”

“LiLi… I can’t feel my legs. I can’t move them. You have to go. The room is on fire; you need to leave,” he ordered.

“No… no… no… I can’t leave you. I’ll… I’ll drag you out!”

“You know you can’t do that,” Lan XiChen said sadly. “Even if you were in peak physical health, you’d have trouble dragging me.” He reached out and cupped her face. “I love you, my LiLi. More than my life.”

“I’m not leaving you here to die!” she screeched.

“You have to leave me…. I can’t walk and you can’t carry me.” He sighed and coughed again. “I’m their target. You should be able to escape. Find WangJi and WuXian. They’ll be able to save me.”

“I am not leaving you to die,” Li MeiLi repeated, coughing in the smoke.

He coughed again and bit back a scream of pain and anguish. “Then leave me to find help!”

She crawled closer and rested her forehead against his. “I’m sorry…. I’m the reason this is all happening. I shouldn’t have married you…. I’m sorry. It’s all my fault.”

“It’s not your fault,” he sighed. “Now… please leave me and go.”

“It is my fault! When I woke up earlier, the room wasn’t on fire. They blocked the door, so I couldn’t leave…. I hit on it and yelled for help! If I hadn’t done that, they wouldn’t have set the building on fire! They must have thought we were dead until I did that. And now they’re making sure of it… It’s my fault…. If I had just stayed quiet….”

“It’s not your fault,” he repeated. “We did what we did out of love and respect. They did what they did for their own reasons. You are not responsible for their actions. Now, please go!” he begged. 

Li MeiLi pulled away and coughed. “They want me dead, too. Are they still out there? Can you check?”

Lan XiChen sent his awareness outside only to discover the building was surrounded by men. “They’re still there,” he admitted and started coughing. And felt something spitting out of his mouth: blood. But not the blood caused by a qi deviation…. This was coming from his lungs…. 

Li MeiLi crawled the short distance to lay down next to his body as a section of the ceiling fell. She tenderly wiped the blood from his lips. Tears were streaming down her face, from fear or the smoke, she didn’t know. “I love you,” she stated before claiming his lips with her own. 

He did his best to tuck her under him, a futile attempt to protect her from the flames. “I love you, too.” As the fire burned around them, he held her tight. “I will find you in our next life,” he promised as his vision dimmed and his last strength gave out. But there was no one aware to hear him anymore.


	33. Chapter 33

When Lan WangJi arose from his meditation, he found his husband’s head lying over his crossed legs. “This can’t be comfortable,” he observed. 

“It’s not,” Wei WuXian agreed. “But it’s the next best thing to sitting in your lap.” He rolled over and kissed Lan WangJi’s hand where it rested on a knee. “Did you ever play ‘what if’ during those years I was gone?”

“What if I stayed with you in the Burial Mounds? What if I pulled you up the cliff?”

“Yeah….”

“Of course. Why?”

Wei WuXian shrugged in the darkness. “I was just thinking… What if your uncle was right? Would it be better if Uncle Jiang _had_ left me on the streets? All the trouble I’ve caused…. The lives I’ve destroyed. Even you… you’re a cut sleeve because of me.” Wei Ying yelped as two hands shoved their way under his armpits and hauled his body up until he was sitting on Lan Zhan’s lap.

“What lives have you destroyed?” Lan WangJi asked, wrapping his arms around his husband’s waist. “When have you ever struck first? Defending yourself and the people you care about is not destroying lives…. The Wen murdering your family is all on them. Shu She murdering Jin ZiXuan is on him. Your Shijie saving you from being stabbed in the back is on her. Not you. You didn’t cause any of that. You were just a convenient excuse.

“As for me being a cut sleeve…. I don’t think of myself like that. I don’t love you _because_ you’re a man. Or even in spite of you being a man. Lan Zhan loves Wei Ying. It’s as simple as that. You are my soulmate. I think that if Jiang FengMian had not found you, there would have come a day when I was walking to or from a night hunt in YunMeng, and I would have seen you there…. And just like when we were teenagers, I would have fallen in love with you. And you with me. We are fated to be together. 

“Playing ‘what if’ is pointless. What if I told you I loved you in XuanWu’s cave when you teased me about liking MianMian? What if I told you I loved you the night you killed Wen Chao? What if I told you I loved you when I followed you back to the Burial Mounds? What if I told you I loved you on the rooftop at the Nightless City the night you died? What if I told you I loved you when we went to Cloud Recesses after I found you on Dafan mountain?”

Wei Ying reached out in the dark to pull Lan Zhan’s head over and silenced his ‘what ifs’ with a kiss. Hearing those love words made him so hard! They had time, barely, for another round. He nudged Lan Zhan’s lips open with his own and deepened the kiss, increasing his desire. He could feel the proof against his hip that he wasn’t the only one aroused. But Lan Zhan had other ideas, and gentled the kiss so that it was soothing rather than arousing, loving and tender rather than fierce and wild. 

Long minutes later, they pulled back from the kiss. Wei WuXian lit a fire talisman, stood up and straightened his robes. “It’s time. How do I look?” 

Lan WangJi noted that Suibian still lay on the floor of the box, while Chenqing was held loosely in the other’s hand. He looked up to see his beautiful spouse’s eyes already rimmed with red and swirls of resentful energy surrounding his body. “Wei Ying…” he warned.

The Yiling Patriarch smiled back, coldly. “You already own me, body and soul. How can resentful energy harm something that is yours?” He climbed out of the box and lifted Chenqing to his lips.

Lan SiZhui limped to a stop and almost fell as the boy supporting him, Jin Ling, decided to sit down. Neither of them were in any condition to walk on their own. He, too, should have fallen, but OuYang XiaoDan stepped in to hold him up. He shook off her help, and stared at the inferno; his father’s room was surrounded by more of the men in black. And obviously, the building was under some sort of spell. While the buildings next to it had already collapsed, this one was different. The walls were gone and part of the roof had caved in, but the main supports of the structure were still standing.… _How can anyone survive in that…._

Lan SiZhui looked at Headmaster Hua as he directed the Wei disciples to surround the men in black. None of the people trying to hurt Wei WuXian would be allowed to escape. He still wasn’t sure exactly how the headmaster knew to come to Koi Tower; the older man had simply smiled that empty smile of his and said he was given orders by Master Wei and he would follow them to the best of his ability. The headmaster seemed unconcerned about the inferno that was his fathers’ room, so Lan SiZhui turned his attention back to the flames. And noticed something human looking standing there.

There was a semi-strong breeze whipping the flames and that breeze also moved the robes and hair of the figure. The figure’s arms lifted to the side and the sounds of a flute could be heard over the noise of the fire. “It’s Chenqing!” cried some of the men in black. “The Yiling Patriarch!” cried others. All with fear in their voices. Thick, black smoke swirled around the figure; was it smoke from the fire or resentful energy? 

“Master Wei has become a fierce corpse!” Lan JingYi yelled. 

Headmaster Hua snorted. “What corpse can play a flute?” Lan JingYi and the other boys blinked their eyes at the headmaster and the smoke. “Corpses can’t breathe so most of them can only make the most basic of sounds as they physically force air in and out of their lungs; your Ghost General only talks because of the magic used to create him. And none of them have the ability to do such fine muscle control that is necessary to play the flute. Your Master Wei is perfectly fine.”

Lan SiZhui felt much better at hearing this and more than slightly sheepish. His teachers and fathers were always going on about being able to think logically under pressure and yet he had had the same exact thoughts as JingYi…. 

The hundred or so men in black surrounding the building, suddenly took up their bows and arrows and started launching volley after volley at the Yiling Patriarch. The first round of arrows burned up as soon as they crossed the threshold of the building. The next few rounds veered up as they approached the flames, feathers alight, shooting into the sky like mini fireworks. After a few minutes of this, though, it appeared that the Yiling Patriarch was done playing games with his attackers; Chenqing’s song changed to a more strident tune, and the next volley of arrows suddenly reversed course in midair to fly back at the men who fired them. 

As almost a quarter of the attackers fell, pierced by their own arrows, Lan SiZhui felt shivers of fear spreading up and down his back. It was one thing to hear stories of the Yiling Patriarch. Since they all occurred over a decade before, it was easy to dismiss much of them as exaggeration. It was another thing entirely to see the Yiling Patriarch in action and realize that the stories, if anything, understated the reality of his abilities. Only hours earlier, Baba had boasted that he was the most powerful cultivator, and Lan SiZhui had thought it a slight embellishment. But this…. This was proof that Baba hadn’t been boasting at all…. 

The Yiling Patriarch, able to control both spiritual energy and resentful energy, stood alone in a raging fire against a hundred attackers with bows. He seemed unconcerned that the numbers were not in his favor. Rather it was his enemy who seemed to think they did not have sufficient numbers to take him down!

Lan SiZhui was trying to calm himself down when he noticed something odd about the flames. They seemed to form a shape…. “That looks like a wing,” he murmured. _Yes, that’s it!_ The flames were converging, coalescing into the shape of a bird. There was the head, the eyes, the wings spreading out, the talons gripping a fallen roof beam, the long body and the even longer tail feathers. The firebird was resplendent in reds, golds, and oranges of the flames. With a loud trill, the bird bowed its head to the Patriarch, and then with a powerful thrust and a scream, launched its body into the sky. 

Illustrations in books of a phoenix in flight paled in comparison to seeing the actual beast hovering over the burning building. With every beat of its wings, embers fell down, leaving behind the metallic sheen of its newly grown feathers.

Next to him, OuYang XiaoDan was reciting a zoology lesson. “ _The phoenix is one of the few rare creatures of magic that appears to be truly undying. It lives anywhere from ninety to one hundred years before it ‘dies’. Upon ‘death’, it will burst into flames and be reborn from its own ashes_. We’re witnessing the birth of a brand new phoenix!”

The phoenix landed on the roof of the burning building and began casually preening itself. It must have been at least five meters in length with over a third of that just in the tail. A few of the attackers shot arrows at the creature. Annoyed, the bird blasted out fire and incinerated the arrows before they could hit, and then turned its beady black eyes to stare down at the men in black. With an inquiring trill, the bird cocked its head at the Yiling Patriarch below. Chenqing answered, and the bird launched itself into the sky again only to turn and dive at the men in black. The men below drew their swords to defend themselves. A few even tried to use spiritual energy to send their swords away from them in defense. But swords, even spiritual swords, had no impact on this magical creature. The ones in the air were knocked to the ground by its powerful talons and wings. Then it opened its mouth, and just like its cousin the fire dragon, breathed out fire burning every man in its path. After the first twenty or so men fell to the ground engulfed in magical flames, the rest of the attackers tried to run. Only to encounter the YilingWei disciples surrounding them. 

The short fight was a bloodbath. Those that the phoenix didn’t burn were maimed or killed by Hua’s men and women. 

Lan SiZhui’s injured leg finally gave out and he collapsed to the ground, stomach trying to rebel. The stench of burned flesh and the sight and smell of blood and entrails and brains had him dry heaving over and over. Fortunately, or unfortunately, he and his friends had already puked everything that was in their stomachs back at Jin Ling’s room. 

When he was finally in control, he lifted his head to see another figure standing beside Baba. The two figures strolled out of the burning building with no sense of urgency. When they were a few meters away, the Yiling Patriarch bent down and put something on the ground, then stood up again and made a set of motions with his hands. Immediately, the flames died down. He then picked up what he had put down, set it on his hip, and the two men walked over the dead and the dying to greet Hua. 

Hua saluted. “Patriarch, your brother was attended to by our healers. He was shot by many arrows, but seems to be on the mend. ZeWu-Jun and Madame Li are potentially in danger. Both have lost a significant amount of blood; Sect leader Lan has suffered severe burns in addition to being stabbed. Our healers are currently working with them.” Lan Wangi’s face tightened with pain and fear. His arms unconsciously tightened around the little girl sleeping in his arms. “Your young disciples,” Hua continued, “Unfortunately, two of them were killed in the attack. The rest of them… their bodies are cleared of the poison, and the few who were further injured have been tended to and would be fine by the evening if they had listened to instructions and rested instead of coming here.” This last bit was said with a glare at Lan SiZuhi and his friends. “Instead, they will need several days of bed rest.” Hua turned his attention back to his Patriarch. “Madame Wen appears to be alive, but she is inside a golden net and is not responding to us at the moment. We have been unable to locate her brother, Wen Ning, but I have several disciples tasked with that.”

Wei WuXian smiled at his son to let him know he wasn’t in too much trouble. To Hua he asked, “And the rest of the disciples? The GusuLan? The YunMengJiang? Why didn’t they come to help?”

“The use of the poison was widespread. It was in the wine, water and tea drank by almost everyone tonight. I’ve had reports of over three hundred deaths from almost every sect. It appears that only the enemy, some Sect leaders, and you had unaltered drinks tonight.”

Wei WuXian sighed and rubbed at his nose. “Any of my opponents who are still alive…. Talk with Sect Leader Jin. I’m sure Koi Tower has a prison or dungeon or something where we can lock them up. Have the guards be only YilingWei disciples that you personally choose and trust. I’ll go get Madame Wen and find Wen Ning.”

“Shall we begin interrogations?” Hua asked.

“No…” Wei WuXian pondered. “I think their crimes need to be exposed before all of the Sect leaders.” He looked down at the little boy still sleeping on his hip. “Do you have someone who can watch over Liu and XiaoShu for us?”

The young children were transferred over to a group of disciples to be cared for and protected. Then Wei WuXian and Lan WangJi and the others followed Hua to where Lan XiChen and Li MeiLi were. Seeing his brother’s broken body lying on a bamboo mat on the ground made Lan WangJi’s hand clench tighter on Bichen’s sheath and his posture to stiffen. Wei WuXian slipped his hand into his husband’s, ignoring that they were in public, and squeezed it tight. He wanted to do more, but they _were_ in public. Lan WangJi’s eyes were suspiciously glassy as he looked down at their joined hands. “Wei Ying….” He swallowed audibly.

Wei WuXian shoved Chenqing into his belt. “I’m here, Lan Zhan,” he affirmed. “Anything you need….”

Lan WangJi dropped Bichen and wrapped both of his arms around Wei WuXian’s waist. His head dropped to rest on his husband’s shoulder. “I need you,” he whispered, voice laced in pain. “Brother….”

Wei WuXian ran his hands up and down Lan WangJi’s back, attempting to soothe the other. “Lan XiChen will be all right,” he promised. “It’s just a few stab wounds and some burns. By the time his hair grows out, you’ll never know he was injured….” As Lan WangJi’s head shook ‘no’, Wei WuXian smiled. “He’s a cultivator! A really strong one! We can get our stomachs slashed open, stuff our guts back in, and continue to fight!”

Lan WangJi lifted his head enough so that he could look in his beloved’s eyes. “You like to say that, but there are plenty of cultivators back there with their guts lying on the ground who will never again be able to stuff them back in.”

The smile turned into a grin. “I did say ‘strong cultivator’.”

Lan WangJi’s head dropped back down; he sighed heavily into his lover’s neck. “Would you say that if it were Jiang Cheng lying there?”

Wei WuXian giggled. “If it were Jiang Cheng, I’d,”

“You’d what?” Jiang Cheng demanded appearing suddenly.

“I’d wonder why you insisted upon being so slow to mend!” Wei WuXian debated on whether he should stick his tongue out at his Shidi; he decided against it as there were young impressionable people watching him. And his new disciples. And the pain-filled eyes of his brother-in-law.

“You!” Jiang Cheng lunged at his brother, forgetting that his torso was still full of holes. The sudden pain from the movement made his face pale, and he staggered a bit. 

Lan XiChen sighed heavily. “You two haven’t changed one bit in twenty years, have you.”

“Brother!” Lan WangJi fell to his knees at his brother’s side. “How are you feeling?”

Lan XiChen closed his eyes wearily. “Everything hurts…. Except my legs. I can’t feel my legs.”

A young man in the red and black of a YilingWei disciple saluted. “Sect leader Lan, one of the cuts is in your lower back at your spine. My master says the meridians that go down the spine to the legs were damaged, and that is why the sect leader cannot move them. My master said he would do a further examination once you woke up to see how to heal them. Please wait for a few more minutes as my master is tending to your lady wife.”

Lan XiChen’s pale face blanched even further. “Li MeiLi? How is she?”

The young healer bowed. “Your lady wife is in much better condition than you. She has only a few stab wounds, none of which are serious any more.”

Lan XiChen tried to push himself up in his haste to see his wife. Overwhelming pain that had him seeing spots made him fall back to the ground. “What do you mean by ‘any more’?”

“Madame Li lost a lot of blood during the attack. It appears that she was able to bind her upper body enough to slow down further bleeding, and you transferred spiritual energy to her which helped her to heal a bit. My master was able to fully close her stab wounds, so with minimal movement over the next week, and plenty of beef broth to increase her blood supply, she should heal with no complications. He is tending to a burn on her hand at the moment.” As Lan XiChen’s face frowned in concern, the young healer trainee spoke quickly in ressurance. “The burn is the most minor of her problems. I would guess that something fell onto her hand and she flicked it off before it could do any great damage.” He tried to smile in reassurance. “At the worst, she may want to wear gloves or long sleeves to cover that scar. But he is working to minimize its appearance.”

Lan XiChen smiled in relief. “Good.” His eyes slid closed.

“Brother!” Lan WangJi wanted to scream, but it only came out as a harsh whisper.

“Second Master Lan, please don’t worry. Your brother is sleeping. Right now, this is the best thing he can do.”

Wei WuXian crouched down and turned his husband’s face so he could place an almost discrete kiss on the other’s forehead. “Let’s go get Wen Qing out of that net. Once she’s up, she can look at ZeWu-Jun and see what needs to be done to fix his meridians or whatever.” Lan WangJi nodded.

The two men and an ever increasing retinue made the short journey to the smouldering ruin that had been Jiang Cheng’s room. “Shixiong,” the younger man hedged when Wei WuXian came to a stop. “Aren’t you going to undo the net?”

Wei WuXian smiled at his Shidi. “It’s not time, yet.”

“Time?” Jiang Cheng hissed. “What exactly are you waiting for?”

Everyone in the courtyard looked up as the phoenix screamed as it flew over the crowd. “Well, that for starters,” Wei WuXian replied absently. He removed Chenqing from his belt and played at short tune. With another screech, the bird flew off.

“Where did you find a phoenix?” Jiang Cheng asked.

Wei WuXian looked down at his younger brother. “You don’t find phoenixes; you hope they don’t find you. But in this case, I made it.”

“Don’t be ridiculous!” the younger man scoffed.

Wei WuXian grinned as the phoenix flew back over the courtyard, something human-shaped gripped in its talons. “While the phoenix is technically a bird, they don’t lay eggs and they don’t mate. So no young ones. Hence, they have to be created. So I did.” The firebird settled gently onto the ground and stepped away from what it had carried. Wen Ning, eyes completely black, stood up and raised his fists at the bird. Wei WuXian played another tune on Chenqing forcing Wen Ning to become still. He quickly felt around the back of the Ghost General’s head and pulled out two nails. “These again? How many of these things did XueYang make?” Wei WuXian looked disgusted as he dumped the nails into a pocket in his sleeve. 

“It’s all a spectacle to you, isn’t it,” Jiang Cheng grumbled. 

“They,” Wei WuXian waved a lazy hand in the general direction of their spectators: sect leaders, disciples, guardsmen. “They want the spectacle. They _need_ the spectacle. What’s so wrong with giving it to them?”

Jiang Cheng looked at the phoenix preening itself. At Wen Ning slowly coming to his senses. At the golden net protecting his wife. At the men and women clustered in the courtyard. And finally he gazed up at the sky which was just turning from a deep purple to a light pink. “You’re waiting for dawn,” he accused.

Wei WuXian hopped up onto what remained of the building’s floor, approaching the shining net. “Of course!” he called out. He knelt down next to Wen Qing only to see that she was asleep or unconscious. He began the complicated process to undo the net; it would have been quite simple for Wen Qing to undo it had she been awake…. He transferred spiritual energy to her even as he slowly shrank the arrows protruding from her chest. It was a delicate balance: shrink them enough to be able to pull them out without further damage, but move slowly enough that her body could start to heal and not bleed out. By the time he realized that she had already stopped the blood flow hours before, the arrows were already out and the holes they left behind closing. 

Wen Qing blearily blinked her eyes open. “Wei Ying,” she sighed. “Is it over?”

Wei WuXian helped her to sit up. “Just about, QingJie. How are you feeling?”

“I’ll be fine,” she stated and struggled to her feet just as the sun’s first rays lit up Koi Tower. 

In the courtyard below, Nie HuaiSang shivered at the sight of the Phoenix steadying the Sun, remembering his thoughts from a few days earlier. _A phoenix rising from the ashes… the sun always rises in the morning._ The small fire he had lit had burned out of his control exposing hatreds previously hidden in the darkness. 


	34. Chapter 34

Wei WuXian slumped at his table in the banquet hall from the night before, feeling every single one of his twenty-two (or thirty-five) years. The lack of sleep coupled with the amount of energy spent creating the phoenix and fighting off those archers had drained him more than he wanted to admit; he hadn’t felt this weak since leaving the Burial Mounds. He wiped a drop of blood dripping down from his nose.  _ Lovely. _ Just another sign that he overworked his body. A woman in black and red placed a pot of tea and two bowls of soup on the table with a slight bow. As desperate as his body was for sustenance, he pushed the bowls away. At Lan WangJi’s inquiring look, he explained. “Do we know it hasn’t been tampered with? It’s not easy to poison almost five thousand cultivators who aren’t drinking the same thing…. Someone, or several someones, in the kitchen must be in on the plot to kill us.” 

Lan WangJi pushed a bowl back towards his husband and then picked up his own to drink. “Did you forget? There are YilingWei disciples in the kitchen making food now…. You sent them.” Wei WuXian blinked with blurry eyes at his love.  _ Did I? _ “Eat,” Lan WangJi encouraged. “You need the energy to deal with what’s to come.”

Wei WuXian picked up his bowl and drank; his sleeves swung with the movement, wafting the smell of smoke into his nose. “I need a bath,” he muttered. “I stink.” 

The hall was filling up with cultivators, most of them looking hung-over with the after-effects of the poison. There was no order to their gathering; the strict seating and entrance rules of the opening and closing banquets were ignored. However, they left a wide gap between them and the YilingWei sect. It could be due to the Yiling Patriarch’s power demonstration. Or a general distrust of the Patriarch’s use of resentful energy. But it was most likely because behind the Patriarch, perched on the top of a chair that had been dragged into the hall for that purpose, sat the phoenix. The bird spit little plumes of fire at any cultivator not wearing the black and red who dared to go too close to its creator. 

The hot soup warming his insides and giving him some energy, Wei WuXian looked around the hall paying special attention to the men and women who appeared to  _ not _ be feeling the effects of the poison. He ignored Sect lead Ouyang who was alternately hugging his children and scolding them; that man didn’t seem like the kind who would willingly place his children in danger. He also ignored the blustering Sect leader Yao; that man was too direct in his dislikes to use poison and ambushes. 

Nie HuaiSang…. His former classmate sat alone at his table, fan barely moving.  _ Was he the one? Rumors and innuendos and getting others to unwittingly do his bidding were his way of getting things done…. But does he want me dead? Is he really willing to potentially kill thousands to keep his position as a major sect leader? But then why the assassination attempts on ZeWu-Jun and Li MeiLi? Or Jiang Cheng and Wen Qing? And even killing me doesn’t change the number of disciples in Sanctuary…. Unless the men in black were supposed to pretend to be YilingWei disciples? But then why were they just in black and not in the black and red?  _

That Jin elder who was trying to marry off his daughter to Lan XiChen…. What was his name again? Jin Lo something or other? Whatever his name was, he looked smug. But then, the few times Wei WuXian remembered seeing the man, he had also looked smug. Standing next to his beautiful daughter, who also looked like she had not ingested the poison, he looked… happy?  _ This one may not be responsible for the poison nor the attempt at murdering me and Shidi, but I’m sure he’s the one who ordered the assassination of Lan XiChen and Li MeiLi! _

Wei WuXian scanned the room again. There was that young cultivator who wanted to  _ persuade _ any Wen that he came across to confess their crimes before handing them over to the Sect leaders to judge…. Was he the one behind the attack on Jiang Cheng, Wen Qing, and Wen Ning? If so, he had overindulged in  _ something _ as he looked extremely hung-over.

There was a disturbance in the group of cultivators and then two sets of short legs burst from the crowd to practically jump onto Wei WuXian. “XianGege! I was scared! I woke up and you were gone!” The little one rubbed his nose across Wei WuXian’s shoulder leaving a smear of off-white goo behind. “Ugh!” he sniffed. “Gege, you smell bad!” 

The older one used Wei WuXian as a stepping block to jump into Lan WangJi’s lap. “Were you scared, too, Liu?” he asked gently.

“I wasn’t scared!” Liu insisted even as she scrunched her body to fit better in the small circle inside his crossed legs. With an understanding  _ mmm _ , Lan WangJi settled his daughter more firmly in his lap and wrapped an arm around her waist. 

“Are you hungry?” Wei WuXian asked. Without waiting for an answer, he twisted around to find the person who had served him soup earlier. “Can you bring us more breakfast? We’re all quite hungry here.”

Liu peeked over a shoulder to look at the bird who was looking right back at her. “HanGuJu? What is that?”

“It’s a phoenix,” he answered. “Don’t worry. XianGege will keep it from hurting you.”

“Can I pet it?” she asked, already reaching out a hand.

“I wouldn’t just yet,” Wei WuXian advised. “It’s not tame…. And I’m not quite sure how to tell it you’re…” The rest of his thoughts trailed away as the firebird ducked its head down to look Liu right in the face. The bird trilled softly as her little fingers stroked feathers on the side of its head. “I guess it likes you….”

Jin Ling limped into the hall and sat heavily in the seat reserved for the head cultivator. At a nod, an aide rang a gong grabbing everyone’s attention. The boy looked younger than his fourteen years, and pale from loss of blood and exhaustion. “We’ve compiled lists of the dead and the captured,” he began.

“Who are you to proclaim yourself Chief Cultivator?” a voice from the crowd yelled out. 

Jin Ling sat up as straight as his wounded side allowed. “Who am I? I am the Sect leader for the LanlingJin! I am the master of Koi Tower! People were attacked in  _ my _ home. Fellow cultivators were killed in  _ my home _ ! People tried to assassinate my uncles and aunts and friends! Who else has the right to sit here?”

Jin LongWei strode to the center of the room. “Any of the Jin Elders has the right. It is our home, too. You are just a boy. Move away and let the adults do the talking.”

Jin Ling leaned forward. “I am to allow the Jin elders to rule in my place? I, the Sect leader, am to step aside from my position simply because of my age? I think not! Who are you to tell me to step away?”

“You!” Jin LongWei shouted! “You are as insufferable as your father!”

“Perhaps,” Jin Ling pouted. “But my father never resorted to murdering someone simply because he married someone else’s daughter!” 

“I’ve never murdered anyone!” Jin LongWei insisted.

“Ordered the murder, then.”

The two began bickering over the attempted assassinations and who was, and was not, responsible. Wei WuXian looked down at his son gnawing on a chicken leg, at his daughter still enraptured with the phoenix, at the tables where the Lan and Jiang Sect leaders should be sitting, at the crowd of cultivators getting more and more agitated as allegations flew.  _ I don’t want to be here. _ Then he looked at his husband.  _ I don’t think I’ve ever really wanted to be here. I know I don’t belong here. _ “Lan Zhan?” he called for the other’s attention. “Let’s go home.” Lan Zhan nodded his agreement, and the four got up. Wei WuXian signaled to Lan SiZhui to follow. 

“Where do you think you’re going?” a stern voice called out.

“It’s the bad man,” Liu whimpered and hid her head in Lan WangJi’s neck.

Lan WangJi saluted as best as possible, given that his arms were full with his daughter. “Uncle,” he murmured. Wei WuXian just nodded his greeting to the Lan elder. 

“Where are you going?” Lan Qiren demanded to know.

“We’re going home,” Lan WangJi answered for his spouse. 

“Going home?” the elder scoffed. “You cause endless trouble. Hundreds are dead because of  _ your _ arrogance,” he pointed an accusing finger at the Yiling Patriarch. “And now that there’s a mess  _ you made _ , you leave for others to clean up!”

Wei WuXian bristled at the accusation. “Are you really trying to imply that  _ I did this _ ? I’m the one who ordered my own assassination? That I would arrange for the murder of my brother? Or ZeWu-Jun? That I would arrange for my son and nephew to be poisoned? What kind of monster do you think I am?”

Sect leader Yao stepped up. “Why would you balk at murdering your brother or brother-in-law? You allowed your own sister to be murdered right in front of you! Had this assassination attempt worked, you’d be in a perfect position to become emperor! You inherit the YunMengJiang Sect, and HanGuang-Jun inherits the GusuLan Sect. You might even finesse a way to inherit the LanLingJin from your nephew. Add in your Demon’s Lair disciples and whatever is left of the Wen, and you have all the power you could possibly want.”

“Wrong,” Lan WangJi interjected, switching Liu to one arm so he could hold back Wei WuXian from punching the loud-mouthed Sect leader with the other. “If this attempt had succeeded, we’d be dead, too. Then there would be no clear successor to the GusuLan, the LanLingJin, the YunMengJiang, the YilingWei, or the Wen Sects. Which leaves four of the five major Sects in disarray.” As that logic processed its way through the crowd, eyes turned to the only major Sect leader who had escaped the previous night unscathed.

Nie HuaiSang stood slowly. “I had nothing to do with the events of last night. I did not order any assassinations,” he asserted in a clear voice, so unlike his normal stuttering, fawning, humble actions. “I will admit to learning about the Demon’s Lair before almost everybody here. I will admit to ordering my aides to discretely release this information because this is something we all deserved to know. I will admit to knowing that Wen Qing was alive and under the protection of the YunMengJiang Sect before she was presented to this assembly as Jiang WanYin’s wife. 

“I will not admit to anything further. I have no incentive to kill LanGe or Jiang WanYin; their deaths get me nothing. And I’m the one who stole the Yiling Patriarch from Meng Yao! I’m the one who persuaded Mo XuanYu to use his suicide to resurrect Wei WuXian instead of releasing Wen RuoHan back into the world! Why would I kill my best friend after working so hard to bring him back to life?”

“You?” Wei Ying whispered. The final missing pieces, assumed and now confirmed, of his resurrection fell into place. “How? What?” he sputtered.

Lan Zhan squeezed a warning hand on his husband’s arm. “Later, Wei Ying. Let’s just go.” Wei Ying turned accusing eyes to his spouse.  _ You knew! _ Lan Zhan lowered his own eyes in acknowledgement. 

“Even if you’re not guilty,” Lan Qiren stated pompously, “You have an obligation as Sect leader to stay and judge the guilt or innocence of the accused.”

Wei WuXian sighed wearily. “And after we find someone guilty, what does that achieve? Does it magically make ZeWu-Jun’s legs work again? Does it stop my brother from looking like an archery butt after a competition? Does it make the innocent men and women who died last night alive again?

“I’ve seen what passes for judgement from you all! I’ve been convicted over and over without proof, or even a trial! I’ve seen the men and women hanging from the walls of Koi Tower who were guilty of nothing more than having the wrong last name! I have no interest in taking part in a sham trial where he who speaks loudest must be right! 

“But if it’s justice you want…. SiZhui, JingYi: take the children, pack your things and then go to ZeWu-Jun.” Wei WuXian waited until the youngsters left the hall before he turned to the Jin elder who had been harassing Jin Ling earlier. “You there. You wanted your daughter to marry ZeWu-Jun, right?”

Jin LongWei raised himself to his full height. “My Ying’Er has spent years learning how to be the perfect wife for Lan XiChen!”

“So… it’s safe to say you were rather upset at his announcement last night?”

“My Ying’Er is the perfect wife for him! Not that… that… incompetent…”

“Careful, there…” Wei WuXian warned twirling Chenqing. “That’s my disciple and sister-in-law you’re disrespecting.”

“Disrespect? That woman is nothing but disrespectful!”

“So… if she had died last night, you wouldn’t be sad at all….”

“Sad? I would have been happy! She was supposed to die!” Jin LongWei blurted out. 

Wei WuXian stopped playing with Chenqing; the noise in the hall died down at this pronouncement. In the silence, everyone could hear Jin ChangYing whisper, “Father… what have you done….”

“You ordered the murder of ZeWu-Jun and Li MeiLi,” Wei WuXian confirmed.

“Yes!”

Wei WuXian looked around the hall. “My obligation as Sect leader is to determine guilt or innocence? Well, then.... I find you guilty of attempted murder.” He waited in vain for someone to protest. “I sentence you to death!” Chenqing let out a few clear notes; still perched on its chair, the phoenix ruffled its feathers and launched into the air. Wei WuXian and Lan WangJi pushed their way through the dumbfounded crowd and left the hall, ignoring the screaming and the crying, ignoring the sudden odor of burning flesh. 

Once outside, Wei WuXian took in a shaking, cleansing breath.  _ It didn’t help. I haven’t changed anything. _ “I was right, wasn’t I. He’s dead, and your brother still can’t walk.” He shoved Chenqing into his belt. “I need to be alone for a while. I’ll meet you at LanXiChen’s in a bit, OK?” He looked up as the phoenix flew overhead, screaming in satisfaction or hate he didn’t know. 

“Wei Ying….” Lan Zhan whispered, pleading. His love was hurting, and didn’t want his company.

The younger man smiled. “Later, you can hold me until your arms hurt. You can come inside me until we can’t move anymore. You can love me so fiercely that I can’t even remember the color of my hair. But right now, I need to be alone. I… I just murdered a man, Lan Zhan. I’ve never done that before….”

“Which is why you shouldn’t be alone!” Lan Zhan insisted. “Let me stay with you. Just be with you.”

Wei Ying leaned over to rest his forehead against his husband’s shoulder. “An hour. At most. Give me an hour to think, and I’ll be with you. Please.” He didn’t wait for an answer or permission; he just walked away. And ended up outside the still smouldering ruins of his room. Other than the metal box where they hid, everything was burned. 

“How did you survive this?” 

Wei WuXian gingerly picked his way through the debris to pick up the box. “I turned this into a qiankun pouch/box ö and we hid in here until the YilingWei disciples arrived.” Looking inside, he could see Suibian still lying on the base of the box next to the pallets Lan WangJi had stuffed in for the children to sleep on. He looked up at Nie HuaiSang as he walked out of what was left of the room. “Why did you bring me back?”

“You have to understand,” the younger man begged. “I was desperate to punish Meng Yao for murdering my DaGe. I’m not strong like you…. I can’t stand up there in front of everybody and make them listen to me. I… in the process of finding out his crimes, I discovered what he and Su She did to you…. 

“You didn’t die in the Nightless City, WeiXiong,” Nie HuaiSang shivered, either at the memory of seeing his friend lying pale and lifeless in a dingy cottage or the sight of the phoenix circling almost lazily above them. “The fall didn’t kill you. Over those thirteen years, your body had healed itself except for... I don’t know what was still damaged. By the time I found you, you seemed perfectly fine except you wouldn’t wake up. I sent for the best healers I could find, and they couldn’t wake you, either. And there was Mo XuanYu going more and more insane every day. Mo YuanYu was so anxious to die and kill the people who hurt him…. He wanted to hurt the entire cultivation world! I couldn’t wait any longer for you to finish healing on your own….” Nie HuaiSang took a deep breath to fortify himself. “I persuaded him that the Yiling Patriarch was far more evil than Wen Ruohan, that you would destroy every sacred institution we have in your quest for restitution…. He believed me. 

“That morning... we brought you to Mo Manor and I suffocated you. And then he performed the suicide spell which would bring you back to life and force you to kill his enemies. He got what he wanted: the death of his family. And I got what I wanted: my friend back.”

“Is that really what you wanted?” It was the Yiling Patriarch who smirked at Nie HuaiSang. “I think it far more likely that I was incidental to your desire to expose and execute MengYao.”

“Can’t I have multiple reasons for doing things?” Nie HuaiSang pleaded. “I needed to avenge DaGe, and I wanted my friend back. And I really did  _ not _ want that Wen RuoHan resurrected.”

“You’re smart enough that you could have found a way to expose MengYao and Su She without using me as your tool for revenge,” the Patriarch’s voice was cold with fury.

“Perhaps WeiXiong is correct,” Nie HuaiSang bowed his head in repentance. “And perhaps he isn’t. What’s done is done and I won’t apologize for my actions.”

The Yiling Patriarch’s demeanor became even icier. “Do you want me dead now? Is that why you released rumors about Sanctuary?”

The younger man paled. “No!” He insisted. “I don’t want you dead! Just… I can’t let QingHeNie fail! I’m already losing our younger cultivators to other clans. With you as a Sect leader, I’ll lose them even faster! And with Demon’s Lair having so many disciples already…. The Nie Sect will fade into obscurity. I can’t dishonor my ancestors by letting their hard work and accomplishments fade into nothing through my inaction! I can’t disrespect my ancestors by refusing to teach cultivation using the sabers and I won’t endanger my successors by teaching it! I’m destroying my Sect and I can’t stop it!”

“So your solution to saving QingHeNie is to destroy YilingWei? Power and influence wax and wane. That is normal. That is the way life is designed! Yet you are saying that what once was powerful must always remain in power? No! My friend…” the man in black sighed heavily. Somehow Nie HuaiSang could see that it was now Wei WuXian in front of him and not the Yiling Patriarch. “We fought a war to stop that belief…. Shidi… it’s not disrespecting your ancestors to put down the sabers because they cause qi deviation and death. It’s acknowledging their history and protecting your future. Honor your ancestors by continuing to teach the saber to those who want it, after explaining the costs. Show them all the sword barrows and how you must fill the walls with corpses to appease the blade spirits. Explain why you’re moving your cultivation basis. And then hire a sword master and teachers who can train your disciples in the sword path. You dishonor your ancestors by stubbornly clinging to a path that, while it was proper a hundred years ago, is no longer viable and will only bring your Clan to ruin.”

Nie HuaiSang hung his head at the scolding. “Do you hate me Wei Xiong?”

Wei WuXian smiled, but the smile did not touch his eyes. “I don’t hate you…. I’m not sure if I like who you’ve become, though…. I do thank you for my life.”

“You don’t have to thank me, WeiXiong; you would have woken up on your own eventually. I… I….” The younger man fanned his face a bit faster. “I did miss you, you know. I cried for days when you fell off that cliff and I thought you were dead. I cried tears of joy when my spies reported they’d found you alive.”

“Oh, that reminds me… Who took care of me back then? I would like to thank them.”

“I don’t know,” Nie HuaiSang admitted. “The villagers all called her LaoNiang. I begged her to leave with me when I took your body; she refused. I stopped by her home again after you met up with HanGuang-Jun at Dafan Mountain, and she was gone. Her neighbors say she just disappeared one night. I hope she just left. But I also think that if Jin GuangYao ordered her execution, he would have made it look like she just chose to leave on her own.”

Wei WuXian placed a hand on Nie HuaiSang’s shoulder and squeezed gently. “I need to go, now. Lan WangJi is worried.” He smiled at the younger man. “Get your house in order, eh? Come visit me in Sanctuary after the first snow.”

Nie HuaiSang ducked his head. “I will do as you advise, WeiXiong. And I will hope the snow comes early this year.”

Wei WuXian chuckled. “So will I, my friend.” And with a heart a tad bit lighter than it had been just a few minutes earlier, he walked towards his loved ones and his future. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N; LaoNiang means maternal grandmother


	35. Chapter 35

Wei WuXian leaned back against a tree, bit down on a piece of hay, and watched his older children playing in the cooling sunshine. In the last few months, since the burning of Koi Tower, both Liu and XiaoShu had grown enough to need entirely new sets of clothing, and now it looked like their trouser hems would need to be let down. Again. They were growing like weeds like all children should. A’Yuan, Jin Ling, and a bunch of their friends had traveled to Sanctuary for the Autumn festival, and all of them were playing some sort of touch and run game that involved a lot of screaming and laughing.

He looked down at the infant lying in his arms and smiled, almost dizzy with love. The week before he had traveled to LanLing City to buy out the contract for Liu’s mother only to find that the woman had died in childbirth leaving behind this infant, not so affectionately known to her brothel sisters and madam as ‘that brat’. Instead of buying the woman, he bought Liu’s brother and a nanny goat. Upon his return to Sanctuary, Lan Zhan had simply sighed and wondered aloud about whether or not they were ready to care for an infant. Wei WuXian, however, was entranced with this young one. From his strong grip, to his toes curling when pressure was applied to his soles, to his peeing as soon as his bottom was uncovered, to his gas burp smiles…. “You need a name, little one,” he cooed. A particularly loud shriek made the brat shiver in his sleep and he smacked his lips a few times, releasing a large volume of drool. “Silly child.” The father wiped the drool with a cloth he had learned the hard way to carry, and turned his attention back to the playing children. 

Liu was now up on OuYang ZiZhen’s shoulders while XiaoShu rode A’Yuan’s. The two younger ones now had stick-swords and were slashing away at the ‘enemy’. Jin Ling apparently thought it was unfair that his opponents had ‘horses’ and he didn’t, so he hopped up onto Lan JingYi’s back and pretended that he too had a horse.

“Ow! You little fiend!” Wei WuXian yelled out. “Stop biting!” The infant had started rooting for milk and somehow had managed to find his nipple through his robes and was biting it. A soft chuckle had him looking up to see his husband standing half in the sun, half in shade, one hand folded behind his back. “You won’t find this funny tonight,” Wei WuXian grumbled, rubbing at his abused chest. “This hurts! How do women stand it?”

Lan WangJi ignored the rhetorical question. “It won’t stop me, either,” the other promised, sending a wave of heat and lust through Wei WuXian’s body. Lan WangJi reached down to take the child and gave him a finger to gnaw on. “Let’s go get you some milk. Give your poor Baba a break.” As he strolled towards their manor, Wei WuXian thought he heard, “Those nipples belong to me. I’m the only one allowed to bite them, do you understand?”

Wei WuXian scrambled up and after his husband. “Are the lanterns ready? Liu says she wants to make one all on her own for tonight….” Receiving an  _ mm _ for a response, Wei WuXian grinned. “Hey Lan Zhan! Do you remember the lantern we made? Shall I make another one tonight with a rabbit on it?” Lan WangJi’s response was only a slight pinking of the tips of his ears. 

In the kitchen, Wei WuXian snagged an apple, took a large bite, and then took back the infant so Lan WangJi could heat up the milk. There was a Sanctuary-wide order that the Yiling Patriarch was  _ not _ allowed to prepare any food. He wasn’t even allowed to use a knife to chop vegetables, and the spice boxes were all locked with an anti-WuXian spell. It had been slightly humiliating having several thousand people laughing at his poor cooking skills at first…. The upside, though, was that he just had to casually mention that he might go make something to eat before someone offered him food. One of the first people they hired for the manor was a housekeeper/cook, and it turned out that she was  _ extremely _ territorial about her kitchen. She reluctantly allowed Lan WangJi the use of a pot to heat milk for the infant only because the child ate every few hours and she enjoyed her sleep. 

Cook bustled in, shooing Lan WangJi away from her stove, and glaring at Wei WuXian in a reminder to not touch anything. He gave her his most innocent look, which was spoiled by another chunk of apple puffing his cheek out. “You need a wet nurse,” she admonished them. “And then you need a concubine or two so you can stop bringing home strays….” Wei WuXian choked on his apple and Lan WangJi’s ears turned a bright red. “Although this one is rather cute….” The child blew a raspberry in acknowledgement and started rooting for Wei WuXian’s nipple again. 

“Oh no, you don’t,” Wei WuXian scolded and moved the baby so it was peering over his shoulder. The child’s head bobbled a bit before falling down. Wei WuXian watched, entranced, as his son brought a fist up towards his face, examined it for a moment, and then started chewing on a finger. “Oh look! Lan Zhan! Look! He figured out how to suck his finger!”

“That’s a bad habit to start,” Cook scolded, and pulled the finger away to the baby’s vocal displeasure. She poured the barely warmed milk into a bladder and shooed the men out of her kitchen. 

Wei WuXian settled himself on a couch and started feeding the baby. “You need a name, little one. XiaoShu thinks we should call you JinYu because you look like a fish when you’re hungry.”

Lan WangJi frowned at the name. “We’re not naming our son JinYu. But.… Do you think we should hire a wet nurse? Or at least a nanny? He seems to be doing fine with the goat’s milk…. But your work is suffering….”

“My work is going along quite smoothly. My students are having fun trying to build a device to store and port hot water for bathing. To be honest, I’m more interested in using the end product than designing it, really….”

“I don’t understand.”

“They’re thinking of some sort of large tank that is constantly being heated. And then pipes run the hot water into a tub. It eliminates having to use the kitchen to heat bath water and spilling buckets along the way.” Wei WuXian smiled down at the child who was supporting the bladder with two fists as he drank. “I think we could hire a nanny for Baobei….”

Cook hmmphed from the corner of the room where she was dusting. “Just get yourselves some concubines, and solve all of your problems. Children need a mother. Master Lan tries hard, but a man simply cannot do what a woman can. You say the word, and I’ll pick out some nice sweet girls who won’t get in those harem fights.”

Wei WuXian spluttered, laughing. “See Lan Zhan! Even she thinks you’re the wife!”

“Of course he’s the wife!” Cook agreed. Lan Zhan pointedly looked at his husband feeding their child and snorted. “Master Wei is extremely involved in raising your children, Master Lan…. As all good fathers should be. It’s not what you do that makes me say you’re the wife; it’s how you look at each other…. Master Wei looks at you as if you are the center of his world. but Master Lan… you look at him as if he is the entire world….”

Lan WangJi gave Cook a steady look, which apparently reminded her of urgent duties elsewhere. Wei WuXian took the bladder away from the suddenly fussy baby and expertly brought him up to his shoulder, patting his back for a burp. The child whined for a bit as the gas bubble refused to move. Then with a loud noise out both ends of his body, the child simultaneously spit up and voided his bowels. “You need to unlearn his habit,” Wei WuXian scolded softly. “One does not shit while eating. That’s bad manners.” Lan WangJi laughed at his husband and handed over the cloths to change the child he had already prepared. 

Changed into clean, dry clothes, the baby resumed drinking his milk. But now his eyes were drooping, and he resorted to chewing on the bladder more than sucking it. Wei WuXian snuggled the sleepy body closer, and sighed. He felt enormously guilty. After not even half a year of marriage, they already had four children. He had all the love a man could ever want, and yet….  _ Is it so bad to want more? _ He looked over at Lan WangJi reading on the other end of the couch.  _ I wish I was a woman for you…. So I could give you a child of your own…. A child of our own…. _ He loved their children, more than he had ever thought was possible to love another person. And yet…. In the deepest part of his mind, even before he brought back the baby, he had started praying when Lan Zhan’s seed burst into his body…. Prayed that somehow the seed would take root, that magically he would develop a woman’s body so he could carry their children. Baobei’s limbs jerked wildly: a signal that he was asleep. Wei WuXian put the child to bed in one of the many cots set in rooms for that exact purpose, and then went to look out the window at the older children still playing.  _ I could take a concubine. But can I do that to him? Can I lie with a woman just so I can have a child of my blood? Can I demand he lie with a woman just so I can have his child? Can I face him after betraying our love with another person? Just return to his bed with my seed still sticky between her thighs and her scent on my skin? Can I ask a woman we will never love the way she deserves to be loved to bear us children? Is it fair to her to ask her to be no more than a walking womb? Take away her chance to have a happy marriage?  _ A mental picture of that unknown woman, her belly rounded with his child, had his chest aching with want. His hand pressed against his lower abdomen, pushing against the emptiness within.  _ Stop being so selfish, Wei Ying. _ He looked back at his husband.  _ You already have everything you should want. Stop wishing for what you cannot have.  _

* * *

At dusk at the pond, Lan WangJi knelt next to XiaoShu, guiding his hand on the brush as they wrote ‘happy and healthy’ on his lantern. Wei WuXian was with Liu, drawing a galloping horse onto her lantern. A’Yuan and Jin Ling and the OuYang siblings were together, smiling and laughing at the designs on their lanterns. Lan XiChen and Li MeiLi sat in a chair cooing over the baby; ZeWu-Jun was still unable to walk despite having been treated by healers from almost every Clan. (Wen Qing had stated repeatedly that the paralysis was temporary and that he would eventually walk again, and she reminded them over and over that ‘eventually’ was not synonymous with ‘soon’.) All over Sanctuary, students and disciples were making lanterns, and some were already lit and floating in the sky. 

A nudge against the back of his head had him looking over his shoulder to see Wei Ying grinning down at him. A corner of his mouth twitched upwards in appreciation of the sight: Wei Ying, highlighted by the pinks and oranges of the twilight sky, was even more beautiful than he normally was. “Father, you dropped this,” Liu spoke softly. Burning with love and desire, Lan WangJi looked down at his daughter only to see his forehead ribbon draped across her hand. He froze, half in hope and half in agony, when Liu reached up to inexpertly tie the ribbon around his head. “There,” she congratulated herself, “all fixed.” When this did not change the look on Lan WangJi’s face, she reminded him, “You said I can only….”

“My Liu'Er. My daughter, my very dearest daughter.” he interrupted, grabbing an end of the ribbon and tickling her face with it. “You are my daughter and I am your father. Forever and ever, now.” Pulling the giggling child into his arms, he breathed, “Thank you.” Whether he was thanking Liu for the amazing gift of her love and trust, or Wei Ying for arranging this, or the gods, he didn’t know. 

XiaoShu had started calling him Father not long after they arrived in Sanctuary. But Liu had resisted. She would occasionally test it out; sometimes he thought she was using it as a way for him to reject her. Each time Wie Ying counseled patience, reminding him that it would take time for Liu to accept that she had a home with them. Liu wiggled out of his grasp and ran to get her lantern. On one side was Wei WuXian’s horse, and on the opposite side, in her chicken-scratch handwriting, it read ‘Liu loves Father, Baba, DaGe, Sandi and Sidi forever’. Lan WangJi lit the lantern and together, father and daughter lifted it high until it grew light enough for the air to carry their wishes to the heavens.

* * *

As Sect leader, taking an afternoon off to watch his family meant that, after setting off the lanterns, he had to attend to the duties he had neglected. Between reading reports, grading juniors’ papers, discussing discipline issues with Headmaster Hua and putting Liu and XiaoShu to bed, it was already long past Wei WuXian’s one o’clock bedtime by the time he blew out the candles and headed upstairs to bed. With the amount of people guaranteed to be traipsing in and out of the manor on official business, Wei WuXian had suggested having a two storied building, and their private room on the upper floor. Lan WangJi kept his steps light, even as his heart sank. The sight that greeted him was almost exactly what he expected to find. Baobei, lying in the circle of one of Wei Ying’s arms, had managed to kick off his blankets, and was alternating between examining and ‘talking’ to the foot he had captured and trying to eat it. Wei Ying was already asleep with his other hand pressed to his lower abdomen. The sight had Lan WangJi swallowing desperately, holding back sobs. 

Not long after coming to live in Sanctuary, Lan WangJi noticed Wei Ying’s smiles occasionally becoming more brittle. When asked what was wrong, he’d just shake it off, deny there was anything bothering him. Gradually, Lan Zhan noticed the brittle smiles were usually accompanied by his hand pressing his belly. Alarmed that there was something physically wrong with his husband, he checked the other’s pulse nightly. And even invited Wen Qing for a visit, asking her to quietly check that Wei Ying’s golden core was all right. Reassured that there was nothing physically wrong with his husband, Lan Zhan still worried about the reasons behind the fake smiles. Until one day, he happened upon a newlywed couple… and the wife was rubbing her slightly swollen belly. 

He couldn’t breathe. Could barely think. Sudden nausea had him falling to his knees, retching into the grass, tears streaming down his face.  _ Wei Ying! Not yet. Please! Let me have you for a year before I have to share you. _ His mind screamed louder than his voice ever could. He would give everything, sacrifice anything, to keep his love happy…. He had just hoped this day would never come. How could he possibly prepare for the day he’d send his love off to someone else’s bed? Panicking, he made up a lie about needing to see his brother, and instead spent days searching the forbidden section of the Cloud Recesses library. But, as expected, there was no spell, no surgery, that would give a womb to a man. 

He had hoped, foolishly hoped, that bringing Liu’s brother home would have tempered Wei Ying’s desire for his own child. Instead, it seemed to have increased the yearning…. 

He hated her already: this faceless, nameless woman who would be chosen to give Wei Ying children of his own. He hated that she would know the joy of Wei Ying’s kisses, be caressed with his hands, be pleasured by his body. That she would use her body to give him pleasure…. The pleasure men were only supposed to share with women. And knowing his husband as he did, there was no way Wei Ying could lie with a woman he did not care about…. He hated her even more for forcing him to share Wei Ying’s love.

A sob forced its way out of his chest, distracting Baobei from his foot and partially waking Wei Ying. “Lan Zhan?” the sleepy man called. “Let’s call him Qiu in honor of today.” 

“Okay,” Lan Zhan agreed, trying to sound normal. Apparently, he failed since Wei Ying asked what was wrong without even opening his eyes. “Go back to sleep,” Lan Zhan suggested, picking up Qiu. He quickly rewrapped the baby in his blankets and placed him in his bed before stripping off his robes and joining his husband. He held himself as still as possible, trying to hide that his heart was breaking.

“Lan Zhan, why are you crying?”

“I’m not.”

“Liar.” Wei Ying wiped away a fresh tear winding its way down his lover’s face. 

Lan Zhan rolled out of bed to kneel on the floor, head bowed in penance. “I’m a failure as a husband. I have utterly failed as your wife. I… I know what’s been bothering you these last months…. I’ve looked for ways to give it to you…. But I can’t. I don’t know how to.  _ I can't _ .” His body started shaking. 

Wei Ying leaned over, trying to pull his husband back into bed. “Come here,” he ordered as the other cried ‘I can’t’ over and over. “I don’t know what you can’t give me, but I hope I am not so selfish and childish as to be upset at you when I don’t get everything I think I might want.”

Lan WangJi remained on his knees. “There are only two times when I wished that I was a woman.”

“What?”

Lan WangJi ignored the question. “When I first knew that I was in love with you, I prayed to become a woman so you could fall in love with me. I thought it impossible for you to love me as a man, but if I were to become a woman…. I thought I might have a chance at winning you….” His head sank further, utterly ashamed, to rest on the bed, muffling his voice. “When I last went to Cloud Recesses it was to look for a spell to do that. To make me at least partly a woman.”

“Lan Zhan....”

“I want to give you a child, Wei Ying! I do! I would gladly carve out my own guts to put a womb in there to carry your child! But I can’t. I can’t.” His voice trailed off. “Even worse, I tell myself that I should give you to a woman to have her carry your child, but I can’t do that either. I can’t share you. I’m too selfish…. I know you want a child of your blood, but I can’t! I’m so sorry.” Wei Ying slid out of bed to hold his crying love tight. Lan Zhan swiped at his wet cheeks, turned to rest his head on Wei Ying’s shoulder and continued. “I used to hear stories about wives and concubines fighting, and always thought it was a power struggle. Now…. How do other wives do it? How do they watch their husbands go off to fuck another woman? Watch that other woman grow fat with his children? I… I hate her.”

“Who?”

“She isn’t even here, and I hate her already. I hate that she can give you the one thing I cannot. I hate myself for being so insecure and selfish. 

“As much as I love coming into your body, I hate that I am a man right now. I don’t know how to share, A’Xian…. I don’t know how to share you with her…. I don’t know if I have the strength to send you to her bed and not….”

Wei Ying burst into hysterical laughter, until he was almost in tears himself. Lan Zhan just glared at him. “Lan Zhan! My love. You’ve wished you were a woman? So have I! So I could carry  _ your _ child. My sadness over the last few weeks is as much due to my failures as  _ your wife _ as it is my desire for a child of my blood. Yes, I want a child.  _ Our _ child.” He pressed Lan Zhan’s hand to his abdomen. “This here…. This is where your child should be growing already. It’s empty and barren and that  _ hurts _ .” He left out his thoughts on a concubine; Lan Zhan’s jealousy over that non-existent woman was already high enough. Fever filled his blood. “Lan Zhan… I need you. Fill me. Please. Give me your body… your love…. I am so empty….”

Lan Zhan barely hesitated before literally ripping their shirts off and throwing the tattered material to the floor. “I can’t be gentle, my love.” Their trousers followed the shirts and Wei Ying found himself thrown onto the bed so that his torso was on it and his wide-spread legs hanging to the floor. 

“Don’t be gentle!” he begged and then yelled as two dry fingers stabbed in and out of his ass. “Fuck! Oil! Please!”

“You said, ‘don’t be gentle,” Lan Zhan argued, fumbling for the much used bottle.

“I didn’t agree to do it raw, either. Fuck!” A much larger object, thankfully lubricated, replaced Lan Zhan’s fingers. “Oh… shit, yes,” the younger man babbled. It hurt, but even the pain of being stretched felt so good. “There! Right there!” Lan Zhan repeatedly hit that little spot inside his body, causing waves of ecstasy to ripple up and down his entire body. 

“Mine,” growled a harsh voice behind him. 

“Yours,” Wei Ying agreed until the waves of pleasure crashed down on them both, leaving them trembling and boneless. 

Wei Ying felt his husband’s semen dripping down his legs and felt the emptiness returning. Against his back, he felt shudders and hot liquid dripping down. Their joined hands cupped his barren abdomen while the two men cried.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N JinYu means goldfish. DaGe means oldest brother, Sandi means third younger brother, and Sidi is fourth younger brother. Qiu is part of the word for autumn.


	36. Chapter 36

Lan SiZhui spent the rest of the year finishing up his studies in Cloud Recesses. He went on night hunts with his friends, visited Jin Ling in Koi Tower, helped his fathers with the children, and spent a lot of time wondering why he felt so unsettled.

Some of this had to be attributed to OuYang XiaoDan; she attended her three months of studying in Cloud Recesses, and every spare moment was spent following him. If Rule Number One of brotherhood meant that he was not allowed to see her as anything other than cute, Rule Number Two had to be ‘you’re not allowed to kiss your brothers’ sisters’. And oh how he wanted to kiss her! His lust became so hard to disguise that he begged his father for permission to move into the Jingshi. At least there he had the privacy that when his desires became too great, he could take care of them without shaming himself in front of his roommates. 

After turning eighteen, he expected to be told to swear to Cloud Recesses. But his uncle refused to make him choose between the Sect he grew up in and his fathers’ new Sect. To placate the Elders who made their displeasure at this favoritism known, he spent most of his time on night hunts and running errands for his uncle. He made frequent trips to Sanctuary to see his family, but those trips just made the unsettling feeling worse.

There was something wrong with his fathers. Most of the time Baba was his normal, happy self. But sometimes... the smile slipped…. When that happened, Father would take him away to their room, and they would do... whatever it was they did to bring back the smiles. But then Father’s eyes would look sad for a few days. He didn’t understand it, and both parents denied there was anything wrong. 

He spent most of his time during the next year at Koi Tower. The rebuilding of the buildings was done, but the rebuilding of the Sect had barely started. After the massive betrayals and subsequent executions of the men and women who plotted or participated in the assault on Wei WuXian and his family, Jin RuLan found himself pretty much alone in his position as Sect leader. The core of the Sect had been rotting from the inside out since before the SunShot Campaign; Jun GuangShan and Jin GuangYao had simply been the external representations of that rot. Since Lan SiZhui had been, and technically still was, Lan XiChen’s heir, he had been taught Sect leadership from an early age. The two cousins worked hard trying to bring the LanLingJin back to a fraction of its former glory.

Right after he turned twenty, Jiang WanYin apparently decided Lan Sizhui had had enough time loafing around Koi Tower and called him to Lotus Pier to work. The young man found himself under the tutelage of his aunt, who was pregnant, and so found himself weeding the gardens while she watched. Or pounding dried herbs in the dispensary under her direction. As the months progressed, he learned how to make medicine for various ailments. And one night, in early summer, he found himself feeling both horrified and amazed as he assisted the midwife while Wen Qing struggled to give birth. Holding the slippery newborn in his arms and carefully washing away the fluids on its body, he felt that the unsettled feeling that had followed him around for the past three years was completely gone. So when his aunt was feeling better a few days later, he knelt before her and begged to become her disciple. 

A month later, his newest cousin was almost on a regular eating and sleeping schedule, and his aunt resumed some of her medical research. She informed Lan SiZhui that their most pressing concern was helping his Aunt MeiLi get pregnant. Uncle XiChen needed an heir of his own body, especially since his current heir was learning to be a doctor... But the paralysis prevented them from being intimate. And what followed was the most embarrassing series of lectures in his life. 

He had thought Father taking him to view the pornographic novels in the library and the subsequent conversation about refraining from the activities that directly led to potential pregnancies until after marriage was embarrassing. He had also thought that Baba telling him to take himself in hand instead of kissing XiaoDan was embarrassing. (Although the part about the massage oil turned out to be quite useful.) Those embarrassing moments paled in comparison to sitting before QingJie while she gave anatomical lectures, complete with detailed drawings and diagrams, on what exactly happened between men and women in order for a woman to become pregnant. 

* * *

After Wei WuXian’s and Lan WangJI’s first fall festival as husbands, street rats started arriving in Sanctuary. They had heard the stories of the cultivators who took kids in off the streets and gave them a warm bed to sleep in and good food to eat. Wei WuXian did his best to care for them, commandeering one of the student dorms and hiring two teenage girls to watch over them. But when the fifteenth one showed up just as the family was getting ready to set off to celebrate the new year at Cloud Recesses, Lan Zhan had to put his foot down and exercise his authority as Sect leader. He didn’t mind the children coming; he minded the strain it was putting on his spouse. 

Between teaching multiple classes a day, caring for his children and the growing number of abandoned children every day, the sleepless nights when Qiu was teething or having growing pains, his own experimental work, and the not so occasional mental anguish of not having a child of his own, Wei WuXian was slowly falling apart. The number of nights that Lan WangJi went to their room and found Wei WuXian already passed out from exhaustion far outnumbered the number of nights they fell asleep in each other’s arms from a different kind of exhaustion. It wasn’t that Lan WangJi was an indifferent husband and father: he took charge of their children whenever possible. It was just that Wei WuXian didn’t want to lay down any of his burdens of responsibility…. 

In his mind, he was the reason they had three young children. He was the reason those other kids showed up in Sanctuary. He was the one who decided to teach. He was the one who was interested in his research. What should he force others to take on his responsibilities?

Lan WangJi, however, felt differently and had no issues with delegating some of his spouse’s assumed responsibilities. On the way to Cloud Recesses, he sent the Headmaster orders. While Wei WuXian was forced to rest and relax during the New Years celebrations (Liu and XiaoShu went off to play with the sect children and Li MeiLi ‘borrowed’ Qiu more often than not), the Headmaster hired a few childless couples and widows to come live in the town outside Sanctuary to foster the abandoned children. During the mornings, the children were to attend school, and in the afternoons they apprenticed at a trade. It wasn’t a perfect solution, but it was better than the previous one. And on the return back to Sanctuary, the Lan-Wei family traveled with an additional member of the party: a nanny for Qiu.

And so their first year of marriage ended with the couple once again in harmony with themselves and each other.

It was after their third anniversary that the madam of the brothel where Liu and Qiu’s mother worked showed up again with yet another infant to sell. Lan WangJi had immediately set Hua to start looking for yet another foster home for the infant, but Wei WuXian put his own foot down and insisted that infants were not ‘children’ and needed a proper home with loving parents. And so MeiGui became their fifth child.

With Lan XiChen still paralyzed, Lan WangJi and Wei WuXian continued to take their brood to Cloud Recesses every year to celebrate the Lunar New Year. The two jades would spend the first day together catching up while Wei WuXian took his younger children to play with the rabbits. Usually Wen Ning was there with him, but this year Song Lan had made an appearance at the gates. Wei WuXian encouraged the two fierce corpses to become friendly, if not friends; after all, in a few hundred years, none of the people they knew now would be alive…. And Wei WuXian knew from personal experience that it was hard to reminisce about the past with people who weren’t there….

Wei MeiGui, at eight months old, was teething, so Wei WuXian removed an old, clean glove from his sleeve to let her chew on the soft leather. The poor baby’s bottom gum was all red and swollen with a large white bump. Sometimes, when she was overly exhausted from the pain, Wei WuXian would wish it was acceptable to simply cut open the gum at the top of the tooth…. Or that there was a spell to lessen the pain. The poor child was miserable…. Wen Qing entered the glade with her own baby, Jiang Yin, wrapped warmly against the cold, asleep in her arms. “Good morning, QingJie!” Wei WuXian called out happily. “Long time no see.” Wen Qing cooed over her newest niece and allowed Wei WuXian to coo over his newest nephew. They chit-chatted about inconsequential events that occurred while they were apart, but eventually, Wen Qing felt that she needed to get to the point of why she was there.

“Wei WuXian… did you want…. I mean, have you ever thought about….” her voice trailed off. Even for her, this was embarrassing to talk about. She was prying into his most private life, not his health….

“Have I ever thought about what, Jiejie?”

“Li MeiLi is pregnant,” Wen Qing blurted out. This was _not_ what she wanted to start out with. 

The other smiled happily at the news, but his eyes seemed overly bright. “Congratulations to her. I’m sure DaGe is very happy.”

“What I wanted to say was….” How to ask? How to interject into the most private affairs of a married couple? “Have you ever thought about having a child of your own? Or did you just want to adopt?”

“I can’t do that to Lan Zhan,” Wei WuXian spoke softly. “There are men who can hop from one bed to another…. Even if I had married a woman, I don’t think I would have been able to… disrespect my wife like that.”

“But do you want a child of your own?” Wen Qing persisted. “Because if you do, I can help. Lan XiChen’s paralysis still affects _that_ part of marriage, so…. My students and I found a way to help Li MeiLi get pregnant.”

“You what?”

“I know how to help a woman become pregnant if her husband is unable to perform his duties.”

Wei WuXian stared at her. _A baby…. My baby…._ The image of the woman he dreamed about appeared in his head again. She was still faceless, but he knew she was smiling as she shyly placed his hand on her protruding stomach, allowing him to feel his son’s kicks. “I will not have to take her to bed?” he confirmed.

“No.” 

A second faceless pregnant woman appeared in his head next to the first. Lan Zhan was doing that half smile of his while he felt his own son kicking. Wei WuXian’s chest hurt from want. And need. A child, his child. Not that the five he already had weren’t his children…. Or that he could love them any more than he already did…. Perhaps there was some sort of biological imperative… something innate that made people feel the pressing need to leave something of themselves behind. To leave something more than a name in a dry history tome or on a funeral tile. Or maybe he was just being selfish in wanting a child of his body to love….

That night, SiZhui and the younger boys were sleeping in a student dorm while Nanny had taken the girls to sleep with her in a guest house. Lan Zhan slid the door to the Jingshi closed with a mental sigh of satisfaction. It had been a good day. His elder brother was going to be a father and was giddy with happiness. So giddy that he made his feet twitch! The first movement they had had since the attack. Li MeiLi was glowing with her pregnancy; any shyness she might ordinarily have felt at others knowing her condition erased immediately upon seeing her husband consciously wiggling his feet. As for Wei Ying…. His husband had arrived for dinner with his own internal glow back in full force. And now he was stretching his back and neck, looking so sexy. Those beautiful eyes wrinkled almost closed from a huge smile that encompassed his entire body. “My Lan Zhan… why are you looking at me like that?” he purred.

“How am I looking at you?”

“Like you want to eat me… but slowly... savoring every bite….” Wei Ying’s hands went to his waist and fiddled with his leather belt’s clasp there. “Lan Zhan…” he whined as cutely as possible. “XianXian is tired from playing all day…. Come help me….”

One side of Lan Zhan’s mouth curled up slightly. “Are you tired, XianXian? Or do you want Gege to help you?”

“Help me, Lan’Er Gege…” came the whimpered response.

Lan Zhan strode across the room to fiercely grip Wei Ying’s head with one hand to hold it still while his mouth plundered the other’s…. His other hand pulled and yanked until the leather belt clanged onto the wooden floor. Their hands tangled in their haste to remove the other’s clothing. Robes were untied and shoved to the floor without a care. Wei Ying relished the feeling of those rough, calloused fingers sliding over his skin, feeling his lover’s hardness pressed, thrusting, against his own…. Their lips and tongues dueled against each other, teeth scraped when they tried to get even closer. Wei Ying let one hand travel leisurely down his lover’s back to then grip tightly the muscled ass. His other hand kneaded Lan Zhan’s pecs, feeling the nipples rise up and pebble against his palm. There was a brief moment of weightlessness and then he felt soft sheets against his back and Lan Zhan’s weight came down on him. Hard. Yet feeling _so good_.

“I need you,” Lan Zhan whispered harshly into Wei Ying’s mouth. He untangled their legs, and used his hands to wrap Wei Ying’s legs around his hips. 

There was a brief moment of frustration; Lan Zhan reached over and pawed through the sleeve pocket which did not contain their oil… and then found it in the other sleeve. Wei Ying first arched his back and then raised his hips, silently begging for more as oily fingers massaged his pleasure spot. “Lan Zhan…. Come inside me,” he begged when he couldn’t take it anymore. 

“You don’t want me to suck you first?”

“Later!” Then he moaned loudly, “Oh fuck yes,” when the fingers were replaced, and they were once again made into one body. 

“Be quiet, Wei Ying! The Jingshi is not protected against noise!”

Wei Ying shoved his fingers in his mouth to stifle himself. But he couldn’t stop his scream of pain and satisfaction when Lan Zhan leaned down and bit his shoulder to muffle his own groans of relief. Lan Zhan kissed the bite mark. Then nibbled on Wei Ying’s neck, first one side, then the other. Then a nip at the base of his throat. Lan Zhan worked his way down Wei Ying’s chest, licking, sucking, nibbling, caressing until Wei Ying was hard and aching again. “Lan Zhan…. Do you ever think we’ll get to do the slow stuff first?”

Lan Zhan lifted his head from sucking on a nipple. “No. I need you too much the first time to take it slow.”

“But we do this every day…. Several times a day usually….” Wei Ying whimpered; Lan Zhan’s mouth was licking his fluids off his belly. “It’s not like we’re deprived or anything….”

“Mm” Lan Zhan agreed absently and took Wei Ying into his mouth. 

“Oh, fuck….” After a few minutes, Wei Ying was cross-eyed and panting, fingers white from clenching the bed sheets, teeth biting his lips so hard they bled. “Lan Zhan, I’m going to….”

“No.” The elder sat up. “Come inside me first. I want you.” He poured some more oil onto his palm and massaged Wei Ying. Then he straddled his lover and began sinking down, wincing as his body stretched uncomfortably. Even after all these years, the initial penetration still hurt.

“Lan Zhan! Let me stretch you first! Don’t hurt yourself!”

“No need,” Lan Zhan shifted slightly in pain, causing Wei Ying’s body to push against his spot. “I did it while I sucked you.” He groaned at the sensations; the pain was fast fading leaving a slight burning feeling and the overwhelming sensation of being filled and connected. He rose and fell a few times, feeling the slippery rod somehow growing even harder inside of him. “Oh, fuck!” he yelled when Wei Ying started moving his hips in counterpoint to Lan Zhan’s motion. 

“Shhh! Lan Zhan! The Jingshi isn’t protected against noise!” Wei Ying giggled. Oh, how he loved when his husband lost enough of his control to start swearing. Then with an evil grin, he decided to make his husband work even harder: he grabbed hands and held on tight. “Ride me, my love. Take your pleasure from me….”

Lan Zhan wanted to glare at his husband, but his body had already accepted the challenge. It moved of its own accord, sometimes moving so fast the rod inside him was constantly brushing up against his spot, forcing his eyes closed. Sometimes, it ground down against Wei Ying’s groin, struggling to get more into his body. Eventually, he couldn’t take it anymore, and he erupted with yet anther “Fuck!”, blasting hot fluid onto the belly and chest of the man below him. With a final push, Wei Ying let himself go too, painting Lan Zhan’s insides a creamy off-white.

Momentarily exhausted, Lan Zhan collapsed next to his lover. After a few minutes, their breathing normalized, and Wei Ying leaned over to press a bloody kiss against Lan Zhan’s mouth. “Not that I’m complaining… but what brought that on?”

“The way you looked tonight… it was like you were sixteen again, with no worries, no regrets, no responsibilities. You looked like the boy I fell in love with….”

“I received some good news this afternoon…. Lan Zhan?” Wei Ying twisted so he could look into his lover’s face. “If it was possible for us to have children without being unfaithful to each other… would you do it? Would you take a concubine for me? So I can hold your child?” Lan Zhan’s face froze. “QingJie told me that DaGe is incapable of fathering a child the normal way right now…. So she did something to help LiMei get pregnant….” Wei Ying waited for a few minutes for his lover to process this information. “If we take concubines, QingJie says she’ll help us, too….”

Lan Zhan closed his eyes against Wei Ying’s hopeful look. “You won’t take your concubine to bed? You won’t fuck her?”

“No. I can stay faithful to you _and_ have a child of my blood. Will you do that, too? Will you give me a little WangJi to hold and love?”

Lan Zhan swallowed hard, in love and relief. “My love, I would reluctantly say yes to you having a concubine even if you had to go to her bed. It would hurt me so much, but I cannot deny you a child of your own forever…. This… Wen Qing has answered my prayers…. To give you the children you need while keeping your body for my own.” He folded his arms around his lover and squeezed tight. “Yes, Wei Ying, yes. I will take a concubine for you, and let her give you my children. As many as she is willing to bear.”

Wei Ying snuggled into the embrace. “I love you so much. Thank you, Lan Zhan. Thank you for giving me my last wish.”

“I love you, too, A’Xian….”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MeiGui means rose (the flower not the color). Yin means silver. 
> 
> There are 3 more chapters to come. Thank you so much for reading my fluff, for commenting on my work, and for your votes. 


	37. Chapter 37

The Jingshi was quiet and covered in dust. No one had entered it in almost a year. Lan SiZhui had traveled ahead of the rest of the family; the youngest one did not do so well in dusty conditions. At only three months old, her lungs were still too little. 

Not that she would be staying in the Jingshi, Mother would take Baobei to her family during this mini-holiday, and Nanny would take the younger children to a guest house. The older siblings would stay in the dorms. Mama, about halfway through her latest pregnancy, had decided to not come to Cloud Recesses. There had been a minor spat over that; Baba had felt it was more his duty to attend to his pregnant concubine than it was to attend his son’s friend’s wedding. Mama had won that fight; she wanted the time to rest and relax without Wei WuXian hovering over her and worrying every time she heaved into a bucket (which was almost an hourly event at this point).

He began cleaning: carrying blankets and bedding out to get some air, dusting and mopping. He checked on the water tanks outside the bathing room and made sure the pipes were running water into the tub cleanly and at the correct temperatures. And that the tub drain was also working. He was quite sure Baba would make use of his invention after he arrived. His fathers had been known to take multiple baths a day during the year after the water tanks were perfected…. He grinned thinking back on the number of wooden tubs Father destroyed over the years before Baba finally ordered one that was big enough for four adults to comfortably use simultaneously. 

He could have asked servants to do the cleaning, but he needed the stress relief. His stomach was all knotted up with nerves. The day before, he had finally received affirmation about a portion of his future. But today, he needed to let that stew in the back of his mind to be examined later. Today was a celebration: Lan JingYi was getting married. 

It was a little past eleven when he slipped out of the men’s dorms, nodded to the night guard, and took a path he could have walked blindfolded. He had traveled only a dozen meters or so when he heard familiar footsteps behind him. He smiled but did not acknowledge her presence. At the upper pond, he stopped and wrapped his cloak firmly around himself before sitting on a large flat rock. In the light of the full moon, the pond appeared to be glazed in silver. Ouyang XiaoDan sighed as she sat down next to him. “It’s beautiful,” she breathed. 

He looked down at her and agreed, “Yes.” But he wasn’t only referring to the scenery. Ouyang XiaoDan had grown a few centimeters over the last eight years. But so had he, and she still stared straight at his collarbones when they stood face to face. She had rounded out in some places, thinned in others, and somehow had become so beautiful it almost physically hurt to look at her. For some strange reason, though, his friends didn’t see this and merely commented that while she was cute now, she had been cuter at sixteen…. “Why are you following me?” He asked that question every time they were alone together, and she always answered the same way.  _ Do you mean to tell me that I cannot walk in the same direction as you? _

Ouyang XiaoDan refused to look at the man beside her. That stupid question. Always that same, stupid question. She had followed him as much as she dared for the last eight and half years. And though she always answered the same way, over the last few years, she wanted to change her answer.  _ I follow you because I love you, you idiot. _ Tonight she was determined to end it all. What was the point of following a man who didn’t love her back? She could feel moisture stinging her eyes, and she tried to tell herself that it was because of the cold or the stark beauty of the pond in the moonlight. “My father sent me a letter today. He said he’s entertaining an offer of marriage for me.”

“Oh? Who?” Lan SiZhui kept his voice light. As if it didn’t matter. As if her ignoring his question and their tradition didn’t feel like she just stabbed him in the stomach. 

“I don’t know. He just said the boy’s father stopped by with some gifts and an offer. He says it was a good offer, all things considered.” Considering her age is what her father meant, but did not explicitly say. Most of her girl friends had married before they turned twenty. And she was almost twenty-five. 

Lan SiZhui snorted. “Are you sure you want to marry a coward? What proper man sends his father to ask a girl to marry him?”

“Didn’t Lan JingYi’s parents arrange his marriage?” No one dared to call JingYi a coward. An idiot, perhaps, but not a coward. “LanGege….”

“I asked you not to call me that.” 

“Master Lan, then.”

Lan SiZhui glared at her. “I’ve asked you to call me by my name.” ZhuiGe, Gege, LanGege. And now Master Lan. He hated hearing those words coming from her lips.  _ Why do you insist upon these names? I’m not your brother. And I have no desire to be your brother!  _ He had seen other men get all soft and squishy when pretty women looked up from under their lashes and called them  _ gege. _ For that matter, his father was almost guaranteed to break whatever was in his hand when Baba called him  _ gege _ . And then they’d disappear for hours. He didn’t mind when other younger women called him those names…. But somehow... when OuYang XiaoDan said it…. It made his insides get all twisty and itchy and uncomfortable.

“Lan SiZhui….”

When she said his name… whether it was breathy and loving or even full of arrogance and condescension…. His insides felt like they needed to twist themselves inside out to let out the butterflies flying around.  _ If she ever calls me A’Yuan, I’ll probably just burst into flames _ . “You once offered to help me decide if I like girls or boys,” he interrupted. “I’m ready to take you up on your offer.” He glanced down at his lap and was relieved to see that his reaction to her using his name was not overly obvious. 

“You can’t be serious.”

“Why not? You once offered yourself and your brother up, don’t you remember? I don’t think ZiZhen’s wife would appreciate him kissing me, but you’re still single. If you’re getting married, we should get this out of the way.”

“You are ridiculous. You already know you like girls.”

“Ridiculous or not, you offered to give me my first kiss. This might be the last chance we get.” He twisted sideways on the rock to face her and puckered up his lips. 

“You look like a fish. Stop that. No.”

“It’s just a kiss. What are you afraid of?”

_ You _ . “My first kiss should be reserved for my husband,” she stated, primly. They shivered as a gust of wind passed by. There was a smell of snow in the air.

“You didn’t think that way back in Koi Tower!” he retorted.

“I was sixteen! And young and stupid. And rash.” She turned sideways to face him. “Are you sure you’re sober? You’ve never wanted to kiss me before... except for that one time you were drunk,” she accused. “Why are you changing your mind?”

“Who says I’ve changed my mind? Don’t you know that the things you admit when you’re drunk are simply the things you are too embarrassed to say when you’re sober? I’ve wanted to give you my first kiss for a long time. But it’s really not proper to just randomly kiss a girl…. I’m just accepting your offer because you’re going to be married soon. And then it will be too late. Your future husband doesn’t have to know…. I’m certainly not going to tell him!”

“My future husband. Your future wife. Don’t you think we should save our first kisses for them? Speaking of…. Why haven’t you married? The way your fathers keep increasing the size of the family, I would think they’d be pressuring you to marry…. Or is it that they’re not ready to be grandfathers?”

“They would like for me to marry and have a family of my own, but they want me to be as happy in my marriage as they are in theirs. I’ve known for a few years now who I want to marry, and they are satisfied with my choice.”

OuYang XiaoDan tried to swallow back the sudden lump forming in her throat. She wasn’t sure if she should be hurt or angry! He wanted to take her first kiss and then go off and marry someone else? She turned away, back to facing the pond. “Who is the lucky bride?” Oh, how it hurt to ask that.

Lan SiZhui avoided the question. “I actually asked her father for his blessing a couple of years ago. He refused because I haven’t sworn to a Sect, and because he thought we were too young and we didn’t know each other well enough. So now that it’s been a couple of years, he’s hinted that he’ll let me court her. As soon as I swear.”

“So which will you choose?” Ouyang XiaoDan clutched her cloak tighter. It felt like her chest was being slashed to pieces. 

“I think that’s a decision we should make together, don’t you?” The question sounded rhetorical, but he meant it quite literally. “You know I’ve been studying medicine and healing with QingJie, right?” 

OuYang XiaoDan nodded. 

“Ummm….” Lan SiZhui hemmed, trying to organize his thoughts to persuade her. “There’s a group in Qishan who are trying to restart the healing faction of the Wen Clan. I really like what they’re doing…. I’ve been debating if I should go with them or not. Or maybe I should swear to the YunMengJiang and stay with QingJie... It would be easiest, I suppose, to swear to the YilingWei Sect, but Sanctuary’s focus is not on the healing arts….”

“So you’ll swear to that new QishanWen Sect?”

Lan SiZhui sighed. “That’s the problem. If it were just me, I think that would be the answer.”

“It is just you.”

“No…. I mean, I hope it’s not going to be just me….” Another gust of wind carried the sound of bells chiming midnight. Lan SiZhui reached into a pocket in his sleeves, pulled out a small box and handed it to OuYang XiaoDan. “Shēngrì kuàilè.”  _ Happy birthday. _

_ You remembered? _ She opened the box to see a pair of gold bracelets. “I can’t accept these.”

“Why not? Baba worked with me for months to get the spells right.” These bracelets, like the ones made for his aunts, would create a spiritual net around their owner when needed. While Wei WuXian had mastered the ability to turn simple objects into spiritual ones long ago, the arts of creating talismans and making spiritual objects were  _ not _ part of Lan SiZhui’s strengths. 

“It’s not proper.” She carefully shut the box and tried to hand it back.

“It would be if you marry me,” he said softly. As she stared at him in shock, he continued. “I… I’ve known for a long time, since at least when ZiZhenGe got married, that I only feel truly happy when I’m with you. I will do everything in my power to make you happy, too.”

She blinked at him. “I came up here tonight to tell you that I’m never going to follow you again. Another man has asked my father to marry me and he said yes! You know all of that and you’re still asking me to marry you?” Then the bewilderment turned to anger. “Wait… wait… you! Gege got married two years ago…. You’ve been thinking of this for two years?”

“I told you what your father said! I knelt before him the next morning and begged to be allowed to ask you to marry me. He said I needed to choose a Sect. He forbade me to court you until you were twenty-five. No matter how much I begged, he would not relent. Father tried to get him to change his mind. Baba tried. Even my Uncle QiRen tried! For two years I have waited for today, for right now…. If you hadn’t been invited to Lan JingYi’s wedding, I wasn’t going to go, either. I had to make sure I was with you on your birthday. You’ve only been twenty-five for a few minutes! How much earlier was I supposed to ask?”

“But… my father… there’s… he’s...” she sputtered.

“Father and Baba and I talked to your father yesterday on our way here. Well, two days ago now, I guess. I was on my knees for an hour pleading with him to give me permission to court you. He is still concerned that I haven’t sworn to a Sect…. XiaoDan… I didn’t want to make a decision about my future until I received your answer. I want for us to make a decision about  _ our  _ future.” Lan SiZhui slid off the rock to kneel at her feet. “You don’t want to follow me ever again. I agree. Husbands and wives should walk side-by-side. Please say you’ll marry me.” He bowed his head until his forehead rested on her knees. “I have loved you for so long.”

OuYang XiaoDan looked down at his head. This elegant, beautiful man was really in love with her? “I hate you,” she muttered. 

“I will gladly accept all of your hatred.” She felt something hot press against her left knee. And then her right. Two eyes, shining in the dark, peeked up. “I must be completely infatuated. Even kissing your knees I feel like vomiting butterflies.”

“Vomiting butterflies…. Now there’s an image I don’t want stuck in my head.”

“Then put me out of my misery,” he shyly suggested. When she didn’t respond, he put a hand on either side of her waist and tugged gently, starting to pull her off the rock. But her knees soon hit his chest and stayed tight together. He swallowed, hard, pushing down his desires. It would be so easy to force her legs open, slide her down into his lap, finally feel her body pressed flush against his. Finally feel if her lips were as soft as they looked. 

He felt so inadequate; other boys had visited pleasure houses and knew what to do with women. He had never even stepped foot inside one to watch the dancers or listen to the music. Other boys read erotic novels on a regular basis; he hadn’t read one since his teen years…. All of his dreams since meeting her at Koi Tower were full of this one woman in front of him; no book or prostitute was an acceptable substitute. He was working on instinct, and while his lower half was screaming to possess, his upper half was cautioning him to follow her pace….

For her part, XiaoDan didn’t know what to do. Hearing this man tell her he loved her and wanted to marry her was a dream she thought was long out of reach. It wasn’t ignorance or fear keeping her knees pressed together…. She was feeling a bit shy, though…. She had always envisioned their first kisses would be sweet and chaste, lips pressing together so briefly, like butterfly wings brushing the skin. They would walk side by side, fingers brushing ‘accidentally’ up against each other when they were in public. And holding hands when in private. As the weeks of their courtship went on, the kisses would become longer, more involved, until he finally couldn’t take it anymore and pressed his tongue into her mouth…. And as their wedding day approached, he would become bolder, finding out of the way spots for them to be alone together, allowing his body to press up against hers, letting his hands wander over her clothing, arousing her, finally letting her feel how much he wanted her…. He was skipping all of those baby steps, and was asking her to skip directly to the ‘straddle my lap’ stage. 

It was one thing to know there was a part of him that wanted to be inside of her body. It was another thing entirely to have it pressing up against her before she even got her first kiss! She closed her eyes, trying to decide if she wanted to find the courage to do as he silently asked. Something wet and cold landed softly on her wrist; she opened her eyes to see a few snowflakes floating gently in the air. She stretched out a hand to try to catch another snowflake, and saw she was still holding her birthday present.  _ A way out… _ Opening the box, she ordered, “You can put these on me.” She could see his hands trembling as he took each bracelet out and snapped them onto her wrists.

He looked up at her with such hope in his beautiful face. “XiaoDan… Does this mean you’ll marry me?” She nodded yes, feeling shy. 

Lan SiZhui smiled up at her until his face hurt, until his shins felt like they were frozen to the ground, until their shoulders were more than lightly dusted with snow…. He knew he was grinning like an idiot and he didn’t care. It was only OuYang XiaoDan’s hands shivering in his that brought him back to reality. He rocked back and upwards to stand, then helped to pull her up. “XiaoDan… I will do my best to make you happy…. I’ll take you back, now, all right?”

“You owe me something first,” she said softly.

He stretched out a hand to tilt her face up to his, mortified that it was shaking, and hoping that she thought it was from the cold. He closed his eyes as he leaned down and pressed a kiss to her skin. He’d missed her mouth entirely! Hoping to make it look deliberate, he tilted his head the other way and kissed the identical spot on the other side. Heart pounding so hard she had to hear it clearly, he slid his mouth the few centimeters necessary to place his lips properly on hers. 

And now he had no idea of what to do…. His lips were closed tightly, as were hers. He felt more like a toddler kissing an unfamiliar relative than a husband kissing his wife! It wasn’t like he hadn’t seen people kissing, because he’d seen his fathers quite often. They, however, looked like they were trying to eat each other…. He was quite sure XiaoDan was not ready to be eaten like that…. He wasn’t all that sure that he was ready to be eaten like that!

No… that was a lie…. He was uncomfortably eager to be eaten. In any manner she wanted!

He pulled back slightly to apologize, “I’m sorry… this was my first kiss…. I really don’t know what I’m doing….” He frowned, “I forbid you from telling your future husband about that kiss….”

XiaoDan smiled, absurdly happy with the awkward and slightly dissatisfying kiss. “Are you planning on being a dictatorial husband? I won’t let you decide everything, you know…. You’ll just have to do better next time.”

“Not here… you’re cold.” He held out his hand. “Come with me. There’s a place where we can get out of the snow.” Half pulling her, he walked over to a small shed. “We store archery equipment in here,” he mentioned. Once inside, he lit a fire talisman and used it to find a few candles. “Baba, however….” He rummaged through a few crates until he found what he was looking for: blankets. “Baba only lived in Cloud Recesses for a month; while he was here, he taught archery.” He laughed softly. “Baba would sneak naps in here while the junior disciples were practicing. He hid these in here.” He sniffed one. “It’s a bit musty, but it’s clean enough. No bugs, at least.” He wrapped one blanket around XiaoDan’s shoulders, folded another and placed it on a box. “Hop up.”

OuYang XiaoDan blinked up at him. “What?”

“Sit there.”

“Why?”

“So I don’t hurt my neck.” When she remained standing, he suddenly slid his hands into her armpits and picked her up to plop her on top of the box. “There. Much better.” Their faces were now almost level with each other. This time when he leaned in, he kept his eyes open so he could see where he was going. He started out with little pecks, featherlite kisses. And discovered that if he dragged his bottom lip just a tad bit harder, not only did he feel it  _ everywhere _ , it made her breathing become just a bit more ragged. He finally pulled back enough to rest his forehead on hers, in an attempt to calm his frantically beating heart and aroused body. “Did I do it better this time?”

OuYang XiaoDan felt like a piece of her soul had gone flying away. She raised a hand to her heart, “We shall never again refer to that first attempt as a kiss.” 

He laughed, “XiaoDan… my love…. Would you mind very much if we had a short engagement? I’ve waited two years for you and you’ve waited eight for me….”

“How short is short?” OuYang XiaoDan smiled.

“Well…. My Uncle XiChen married a few hours after getting engaged…. That is too short. My fathers were engaged for a month…. I think that’s too long.”

“A month is too long?”

“XiaoDan… I want everyone to know I’m yours. I want for you to be mine. Unless you really want a grand ceremony and reception that will take months to plan….”

“I am more concerned with our parents taking months negotiating betrothal gifts and searching for an auspicious date.” she muttered. 

“Any day that I am lucky enough to marry you is already an auspicious wedding date.”

She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him in for another kiss. Against his lips, she whispered, “I love you, my SiZhui.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dear readers…. Thank you so much for your support. We are approaching the end of my story. Three more chapters until the end. I know, I know. It was only supposed to be 2 more, but I was at 4500 words on what was intended to be the last chapter and not even halfway through my thoughts, so I’ve split that into two parts. 
> 
> It has been an amazing journey, personally…. And I thank each and every one of you for traveling down this road with me. 


	38. Chapter 38

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: You might want to keep tissues handy.

Wei WuXian steadied one shaking hand with the other as he polished the memorial tiles in the Hall of Ancestors in Lotus Pier. _Jiang FengMian. Madame Yu. Jiang YanLi. Wen Qing._ And the newest one, _Jiang WanYi_ n. He had traveled there from Sanctuary almost a year before for his Shidi’s funeral, and never left. The milder climate suited his aging bones much better than Sanctuary. A light snore caught his attention, set butterflies flying in his stomach; Lan WangJi lay asleep on one of the two divans placed inside the Hall for the two elders to rest on during their daily visits. After over sixty years of marriage, their days of intimacy were long over, but the butterflies remained. 

Wen Ning, as youthful as he had been eighty years before, knelt at his Master’s side. “Master Wei, do you need anything? Shall I bring you to a more sunny spot? You look cold….”

Wei WuXian shook his head, “No, but I’m glad you’re here.” He struggled for a bit, but eventually managed to remove four objects from his sleeve. “For you and Song Lan,” he said, handing over two identical tassels with little silver bells. “The clappers in here are pills. For when you’re ready.”

“Ready for what, Master?”

“When you’re tired of being alone. When you’re tired of watching everyone you love die.” Wen Ning ducked his head in understanding. Wei WuXian handed over two jade tokens, one with a lotus flower inscribed on its front, the other with a cloud. “But until that day comes, you may use these if you wish. But only if you wish. I am not commanding you. Or even asking you. They’ll let you know if Lan Zhan or I are reborn. And where we are.” A tear slipped down Wei WuXian’s face. "I wish I had made one for you so you could find your sister…. I need living bodies, though….” 

“It’s all right, Master Wei,” Wen Ning tried to placate the elder, but Wei WuXian had already fallen asleep. If the younger man could cry, he would have. Plenty of cultivators who were not as strong as HanGuang-Jun or the Yiling Patriarch were able to extend their lives well into their second or even third century; these two men had long ago decided to allow nature to take its course. It was heartbreaking to see ZeWu-Jun and Madame Li walking around as sprightly as they had at fifty and sixty while his masters needed assistance to walk and fell asleep sometimes mid-sentence. Wen Ning felt for Wei WuXian’s pulse; the yellowing, waxy, papery-thin skin and the fragile bones almost felt repulsive to the touch. 

“Master Ning, is Waizufu all right?” Lan YongAi knelt on Wei WuXian’s other side. She wasn’t his eldest granddaughter, but she was the one closest to his heart as her father was Lan WangJi’s natural son and her mother was Wei WuXian’s natural daughter. There had been many strange looks given to her parents when they decided to wed, seeing as how they had been raised as siblings. However, since they had no blood relationship, they weren’t breaking any taboos. At fifteen, she had left Sanctuary to study medicine with the QishanWen under her uncle Lan SiZhui. And now at almost thirty, she had moved to Lotus Pier to be with her affianced husband, Jiang WanYin’s younger grandson. 

“He’s fine. Just sleeping,” Wen Ning reassured. Together they arranged Wei WuXian’s body on his divan, and covered him with a light blanket to ward off the chill of the Hall. Wen Ning tied the two tassels to his belt, and hid the other devices in his sleeve. “I think you should tell your parents and the rest of the family it’s time to come to Lotus Pier.” There were twenty-two children to be told and almost four times as many grandchildren. And more than a few great-grandchildren. And even a great-great grandchild. Wei WuXian had had six children with his concubine: three boys and three girls. Lan WangJi had five: four girls and a boy. The youngest of the adopted children was only a few years younger than Lan YongAi….

“Are you sure, Uncle Ning?”

The older man nodded. The child had probably not received an invitation to the memorial service for Jin ZiXuan and Jiang YanLi. And even if she had, she probably didn’t immediately understand what this week meant to her grandfathers. She was a healer, focused on saving lives; she might not even understand the importance of the pills hidden in the tassels. And given the way she angrily stomped away from the Hall, she probably didn’t understand why her grandfathers chose to not extend their lives…. She was barely more than a child! How could she possibly understand why a person would decide to lay down his tools for the next generations to pick up? 

A few days later, Wei WuXian awoke in the Hall of Ancestors from yet another nap; dusk was setting in and there was a strange woman kneeling on the prayer mats. She helped him in his struggle to sit up. She had a kind but stern face, and her hair was silver with only a few scattered black streaks in it. “Thank you,” he whispered, voice still husky from sleep.

“There’s no need to thank me, Elder Wei.”

He laughed and patted her hand where it still rested on his knee. “Please don’t call me Elder, Meimei. You make me feel older than I already am.”

She smiled back. “And Meimei makes me feel younger than I am. Most people here call me LaoNiang.”

Wei WuXian smiled. “And how many grandchildren do you have LaoNiang? I’ve lost count of mine….”

“If you mean biological grandchildren, then I have none. I never married. I was too busy learning and teaching to think about men and babies. One of my students had a child, though…. I sometimes used to think of him as my grandson. Though the first few times when he needed me, I kept away.”

Wei WuXian’s eyes drifted closed. “I could never have kept away from my family when they needed me.”

You were a much better parent than I could ever have dreamed of being. I was angry at the one I treated as my daughter. She left me to find her own path to enlightenment, and when she died and left behind a child, I left him alone. Maybe I was punishing him for his mother’s choices.”

Wei WuXian opened one watery eye. “You punished a child for the so-called mistakes of his mother? I will never understand that logic.”

LaoNiang seated herself besides Wei WuXian. “I sometimes wondered if I was wrong.”

The watery eye closed against a tear. Whether it was from wanting to feel rage or sadness he didn’t know. And didn’t particularly care anymore. The past was the past and nothing would change it. What good did a half-baked acknowledgement of guilt do almost a century later? “BaoShan SanRen….” he guessed.

“Yes.”

“Why have you come? Has it really taken you this long to…? Don’t answer that. I forgive you. I applaud your actions. If you had taken me to your mountain, I would never have met Lan Zhan. His love is worth more than all the misfortunes in my life.”

“I watched you while you slept.”

“That’s all I seem to do these days….”

“After you fell. I was at the Nightless City that night. I felt I owed it to Cangse Sanren… if I wouldn't be there for you in life, I could at least be there for her at your death. I was the first one at your side…. You were gasping for breath; you looked to be in so much pain…. So I held you, tried to give you some comfort in what I thought would be your last hour.”

“You shouldn’t have bothered.”

“Jin GuangYao hired me to be your caretaker once he saw you were still alive. I thought taking care of you might be an appropriate penance just in case I was wrong to leave you alone after her death.... Was it enough? I gave books and money to your disciples in Yiling, too.”

“So you’re the one…. Penance only works for those who admit to themselves they are guilty. You don’t sound like a guilty person….”

“I was never really sure if I was guilty…. I never felt guilty…. Sometimes I felt like I should, though…. How can you say you forgive me? I have always thought you would think I had abandoned you.”

Wei WuXian looked thoughtfully at his mother’s grandmaster, this woman he had once been desperate to call his own. “Because you abandoned me, I had a home in Lotus Pier. I had a father and a brother and sister whom I adored and who loved me back. Because you abandoned me, when the rest of the world abandoned me, too, I was prepared for it. And I mostly survived it. Because you abandoned me, I met Lan Zhan and fell in love with the most amazing man. With him at my side, we changed the apparent fates of hundreds of orphaned children. We took them off the streets and away from poverty and gave them permanent homes and people to love. Together we raised our own children and grandchildren. And we built a Sect that focuses on expanding knowledge and teaching to anyone who wants to learn. 

“Do I think you’re a shitty person for abandoning the person you thought of as your daughter because she wanted something different for her life? And for then leaving her child, who never insulted you, to live or die as the Fates determined? Yes. Is that what you want to know? Yes, Grandmaster, you were a shitty person. But I forgive you because if you hadn’t been a shitty person, I would never have become the man I am today. And I like who I am.” With a satisfying hmph, Wei WuXian closed his eyes again. “You’re not worth the time and energy it would take for me to stay mad at you. I could only wish that you had left me alone even now. I needed you to watch over me when I was four. And maybe I needed you when I was seventeen. I don’t need your excuses or apologies now….” He opened his eyes to see if she looked repentant, but he was alone except for the ghosts of his past.

A few hours later, as the false dawn was starting to light up the sky, Wei WuXian and Lan WangJi carefully fastened their phoenix robes around themselves with hands no longer trembling with old age. Lan WangJi tied a red ribbon around a half pony-tail in his husband’s hair while Wei WuXian straightened Lan WangJi’s forehead ribbon. “Lan Zhan… you don’t have to follow me today. I know you’re not tired like I am…. I know you haven’t finished everything you wanted to do…. I know you’ve had arguments with your brother about not extending your life…. It’s all right if you want to stay behind for a while. I will wait for you there.”

“I lived without you once…. Only the belief that you would return to me kept me from following you, then.” A tear slipped down his face. “You are why my heart beats, why my lungs inhale and exhale. You are the only reason I exist. Yes, my brother has argued for me to stay with him. He’s not ready to say goodbye…. I could wish for more time with him as well, but...Wei Ying, with you gone… there is no reason for me to stay. None. I am content to leave with you, my love.”

Wei Ying wiped his own tears away. “Then I will stay… for you, I will stay….”

“Wei Ying.… There is no shame in admitting you’re tired. You’ve earned your rest.” Lan WangJi held out his hand to his partner, “Will you walk beside me for the rest of our lives?”

“For the rest of all of our lives and for the eternity to follow. A thousand lifetimes with you will not be long enough.” Hand in hand, on legs far steadier than they had been in years, the two men walked to a pagoda overlooking the lake to watch the sun rise. 

Land WangJi sighed as he settled onto a bench. He strummed a few chords of their song, WangXian, on his guqin, then wrapped it and set it on the ground at his feet. “I never asked you how you were so sure you could control resentful energy. I think I would like to know, now.”

Wei WuXian kissed his husband’s age-spotted hand. “There _is_ a price to pay to use resentful energy. It's just… The price I paid was different from everyone else.” He sat still for a few minutes, composing his thoughts. “Resentful energy, Yin energy, requires you to give it an emotion: love. You could almost describe it as the love being sucked or eaten away, eventually leaving only hate behind. And with no love to balance out their hatred….”

“They go insane.”

“Yes. But how could I feed it my love? I wanted to survive the Burial Mounds to get back to the people I loved…. What was the point in living if I could no longer love Shijie? Or Jiang Cheng? Or have my friendship with you? So I fed it my hate instead. When there was not enough hate, I fed it anger and frustration. I thought it might not be so bad being unable to hate…. I would rather have died than be unable to love….”

“But I saw you losing control…. Several times….”

“Do you remember ever trying to do something and being physically and mentally unable? There were many times after I escaped the Burial Mounds where I wanted to hate…. When I saw Wen Chou and Wen ZhuLiu… those monsters at the Nightless City…. Even the Jin and their allies murdering the Wen during the Purge. After Shijie died…. I wanted to hate them so much…. 

“Yin energy wants to be the fuel _for_ hate… not be fed hate. The struggle you saw was me trying to feed it the emotion I very much wanted to feel…. It never got easier, of course…. By the time I stepped off that cliff, I had fed it so much of my hatred that when I woke up, there was not much left to feel…. The Yin energy was never content to be fed the wrong emotions…. It always wanted me to give in… to give up… Every day, every second after I learned how to use it… even now, the resentful energy calls to me to feed it my love.”

Lan WangJi slid an arm around his husband’s waist and squeezed. “I love you, Wei Ying.”

“I love you, too, Lan Zhan. Thank you for everything.”

Lan Zhan felt the body in his arms relax. “I will see you soon, my love.” He leaned over to place one last kiss on his lover’s mouth. He cuddled his husband’s body closer and closed his eyes.

When Wen Ning found them, barely an hour after full dawn, the two men, bodies already cool to the touch, were slumped on the bench. HanGuang-Jun had one arm wrapped around his husband's waist, the other hand lightly holding onto Bichen. The Yiling Patriarch was resting his head on his husband’s shoulder, Suibian and Chenqing lying across his lap. Both of them were smiling…. He bowed deeply. “Goodbye Master Wei, Master Lan.” 

Eighty years ago to the day, almost to this very hour, the cultivation world had celebrated the Yiling Patriarch’s death. Today they would mourn. 

Wen Ning removed the swords and flute from their hands and picked up the guqin. He and Song Lan would keep them safe until his Masters needed them again. “I’ll see you soon,” he promised.

* * *

Lan SiZhui met his Uncle Ning outside the cave at the Burial Mounds two weeks after the funerals. He looked haggard with grief. “I miss them already.”

“It was what they wanted, A’Yuan.”

Jin RuLan climbed up the remains of the path followed by Lan JinYi and OuYang ZiZhen. “You couldn’t have cleared the way for us?” he complained. 

“I wasn’t advertising our presence here,” Lan SiZhui smiled sadly at his friends. 

Jin RuLan stomped his feet as if he was still the young boy first meeting his uncle on Dafan mountain. “Why? It’s not fair!” He looked around, other than Wen Ning who was perpetually a teenager, they all looked like they were only in their early thirties. “There’s no reason Uncle Wei and Uncle Lan had to die!” he shouted. 

Lan SiZhui winced in pain. “They never told you?” When his friends all school their heads, he sighed. “I thought they would have told you, at least, A’Ling…. The Core transfer…. Baba and Jiang WanYin… their new Cores….” He wiped tears away. “They were unable to stop aging…. QingJie and my father… they decided to also not extend their lives.” He sighed and wiped more tears away. “Father wouldn’t live without Baba…. Baba held on as long as he could, but….” He angrily swiped at more tears. They were all wiping their faces… “Look at us. Baba will be so upset to see us all crying like babies.”

OuYang ZiZhen laughed through his tears. “Senior Wei would be crying right along with us… but he’d be crying from laughing at us.”

Lan SiZhui smiled weakly at his friend. “Did you bring it?”

OuYang ZiZhen pulled out paper dolls from a qiankun pouch: a pair of pretty servant girls and a brother and sister pair. “I was really happy to leave Yi City the first time. Why did you have to send _me_ back there.”

“Do you remember that congee?” Lan JingYi giggled. “Nasty stuff.”

“He never did learn how to cook…. That was the first time I’d heard of that painted eye spell…. Do you remember how Senior Wei tricked us with that ghost?” Lan SiZhui smiled, the sadness fading.

“Oh yes!” Jin RuLan shivered. “Whatever happened to those souls? Was Song ZiChen ever able to restore them?”

“No,” Wen Ning shook his head. “He let them go free maybe thirty or forty years ago…. Master Wei tried to help, but they were just too far gone. Hopefully, they will be resurrected.”

OuYang ZiZhen held up a fistful of paper money, “Do you remember Senior Wei harassing HanGuang-Jun about burning paper money?”

Lan JingYi peered into the qiankun pouch. “How much did you get? It looks like a lot.”

“I bought the entire town out.”

“The entire town?” Jin RuLan looked ill.

“Yeah, why?”

Jin RuLan opened his own qiankun pouch to show that it, too, was full of paper money. “I bought out every store in Lanling City, too.”

“Paper money! Bah! I brought something _much_ better!” Lan JingYi boasted. He grabbed some rabbits from a wriggling bag. “HanGuang-Jun would never care about paper money, but they’d be happy knowing some of his rabbits were living here.”

Lan SiZhui pulled out his own qiankun pouch and poured seeds into his hand. “I brought lotus seeds from Lotus Pier. I learned how to plant them, too….”

Jin RuLan wiped an inconvenient tear away. “His two greatest loves next to his children: HanGuang-Jun and lotus seeds.”

“And wine,” Wen Ning added, pointing to a hand cart filled with white porcelain jars. “I thought you might like to toast him.”

The five men sat around a brazier far into the night, unceremoniously tossing paper money into it, and drinking Emperor’s Smile. The night was full of ‘do you remember’s and ‘I miss the times when we’. At last, Wen Ning was the only one still awake. He carefully poured the last jar of Emperor’s Smile over the ashes in the brazier. He struggled to think of something profound to say. But nothing came to him that didn’t sound stupid or trite. 

In the end, he settled on a heartfelt, “Thank you, GeGe.” Everything else had already been said.

* * *

The undead learned quickly that time passed for them differently than it did for the mortals around them. Although Wei WuXian’s seventh generation descendants were already getting married and having children, it seemed to Wen Ning that only a few short years had passed when the cloud token lit up. And a few months later, the lotus blossom token changed its appearance, too. 

The phoenix was reborn.


	39. Chapter 01 Again

**Halloween, 2000**

Mary Yang felt miserable. She was just over six months pregnant with twins, her ‘morning’ sickness had never really gone away (nor was it only in the mornings), and she knew,  _ knew _ , that something was wrong. “Mrs. Wu?” the OBGYN nurse called out for the fourth time. Mary ground her teeth in frustration and nausea; this particular nurse liked to ‘honey’ all the pregnant women, which drove Mary nuts. Being a five foot tall Chinese woman in Concord, NH was hard enough with all the slant eyed ‘jokes’ and people ‘joking’ that they had ‘winged the wong doorbell’ (but of course not said in a racist manner) without being called honey and dear as if she was a three year old. Or being called Mrs. Wu when that was  _ not _ her name. Charles Wu was her husband, but she was Dr. Mary Yang. She had an D.Eng in Electrical Engineering and was a tenure track professor. What she wasn’t was ‘Mrs. Wu.’ She had a Chinese name, of course, but when in small town America, it was better to use an ‘American’ name. 

Finally Nurse ‘Ratched’ sighed dramatically and called out “Dr. Yang?” Mary smiled inwardly at winning this particular battle, and heaved her bulk out of the chair. They went through her vitals check and routine questions. She managed to pee mostly in the cup and only a little bit on her hand. Which then resulted in losing her breakfast into the toilet. And peeing on the floor as she heaved. How embarrassing. At least she was wearing a dress and managed to keep the skirt dry. By the time she managed to haul herself up onto the examination table, she was shivering and shaking. “Something’s wrong with my babies,” she told the doctor. He smiled that fake smile of his that said she was over exaggerating. Because he, of course, had successfully carried a pregnancy to term before so he knew  _ exactly _ what she was going through. The ass. 

Unfortunately, this was the only OB/GYN practice in Concord her insurance allowed for, outside of the medical center at the University. She really did not want her colleagues knowing the intimate details of her pregnancy….

Dr. Ass strapped the fetal monitor around her anyways with his condescending ‘one must humor pregnant women, don’t you know’ attitude. And then his face turned serious and he grabbed the gel in one hand and dragged an ultrasound machine over with his foot. He gelled her belly up, disregarding the fact that she wasn’t wearing her pee-soaked panties anymore and she was completely exposed from the waist down. 

Half an hour later Mary found herself strapped onto a gurney in a MediVac helicopter headed to Boston. The doctor, another one, was checking her intravenous lines and monitoring her babies’ health. Fetal distress something or other. Words she didn't understand spewed out of his mouth as he tried to explain what was going on with her babies. This doctor wasn’t as patronizing, “All three of you are going to be just fine,” he reassured her. “The doctors and staff at MGH are phenomenal. They’re going to take great care of Baby B in the PICU, and OB/GYN are going to keep you and Baby A healthy until he’s finished growing.” 

“Michael Gabriel,” Mary told him. “Not Baby B.”

“Good choice,” he nodded. “He’s going to need every bit of help he can get. The doctors there are as close to gods as humans can get, but asking the Archangels to help certainly won’t hurt, either.”

It was a dangerous surgery. Any piece going wrong and she could lose both of her boys. And even if the surgery was successful, Michael, being so little, had a high probability of being blind, having mental and physical disorders, and/or becoming seriously ill. There was also the rather high possibility that he would leave the PICU in a casket rather than a carseat. However, to not perform the surgery would mean death for both boys and possibly the mother. 

The surgery was successful. And Michael seemed to thrive in the PICU; he passed all the tests thrown at him. His younger twin, Matthew, was born eight weeks later, and all three went home from the hospital on the same day.

But if Mary thought that was the end of her worries, she was sadly mistaken….

* * *

**September, 2016**

“Eleanor! Michael! Matthew!” Mary yelled up the stairs at her children. “We were supposed to leave ten minutes ago! Get a move on!”

Michael gave his spiked, blue-dyed hair one last look in the mirror, and reminded himself that his sixteenth birthday was only two short months away, and then he could get his ears pierced. He had the perfect earrings already purchased and packed for once the holes healed up. “You’re never going to pass as a Korean Oppa, no matter what you do,” Matthew teased. Michael flipped him off with a smirk. As if the majority of American girls swooning over Korean idols could tell the difference between a Korean Oppa and a Chinese Gege. They’d see a six foot tall, slender, handsome Asian man with a BTS style of haircut, hear a few _Anyoung haseyos_ and _anios_ in a perfect Seoul accent, and immediately wonder if he was an up and coming KPop star. And since he’d be wandering around with the other college freshmen, they wouldn’t even realize that he wasn’t yet sixteen. He checked the bookshelf to make sure all the books he wanted to bring were packed. “You’re never going to have time to read them anyways,” Michael egged. He pawed through a backpack bursting with Manga novels. “Why do you read this crap anyways?” 

“I like it,” Michael stated. They were a mental escape from this house. A way to pass the time until his parents decided he was old enough to leave. 

He deliberately did not look at the single sheet of paper tacked to his side of the cork board on his way out of the room; he had long ago memorized the acceptance letter’s contents. The paper was yellowing and starting to curl; it had been pinned there almost four and a half years ago. Today was move-in day for Eleanor and the rest of the Freshmen at BU, and the parents had agreed that with Eleanor living just across the river, he could finally move to Cambridge and begin studying at MIT. Four and a half fucking years after being accepted into their Mechanical Engineering program. ‘A child prodigy’ they had called him.

Both of his parents were born in China, his mother in Beijing and his father outside Shanghai. When Eleanor was born, the parents were determined to raise her as bilingual in both English and Mandarin. They had continued with that practice after the twins were born. But Mary enjoyed watching asian dramas regardless of the country of origin, so it wasn’t uncommon for a Korean or Japanese drama to be on the TV. Mary had taken the twins onto campus one day just after Michael turned three, and they encountered a Korean family that was lost and trying to find the Admission Building. Michael had immediately given them directions on how to get to the building, in perfectly accented Korean. 

He was tested, of course, and determined to have a natural affinity for music, languages and mathematics. His parents, in an attempt to keep his brain occupied, bought him a piano and a violin and enrolled him at a local music school. They also put him in foreign language classes. Korean, Japanese, Thai, Cantonese as well as Mandarin and English soon became the common languages coming out of his mouth. When that didn’t keep him out of trouble (if he didn’t like his regular school teachers, he would answer questions on quizzes and tests in whatever language he happened to think of the answer in and demand that they score it based on if his answers were correct, not whether they were too uneducated to read it), they enrolled him in more advanced math and science classes. At ten, he received full marks on the AP exams in BC Calculus, Physics, and Chemistry. And at eleven, he interviewed with CalTech and MIT. He decided on MIT as it was closer to home and so he was more likely to be allowed to go.

His parents said no, eleven is too young to live so far away from the family. Trying to explain that Sheldon went to CalTech at eleven also did not change their minds. Especially since they had no idea who Sheldon Cooper was. (Proclaiming a cushion on the couch as ‘my spot’ did not help his argument….) He was enrolled at the local college where his mother taught and received a Bachelor's and Master’s degree in Mathematics. But a degree from a New Hampshire state college and a degree from MIT are worlds apart. 

Michael stared out the car window. They had at least a four hour drive down to Boston, what with all the move in traffic. He had read stories of people spending hours just on Storrow Drive trying to move their children into the BU and BC dorms. Usually because some idiot refused to believe that their moving van was too tall for the road, despite the numerous posted signs, YouTube videos and news reports, and it would get caught under one of the bridges. 

Eleanor’s dorm room technically overlooked the Charles River. And if you squinted just right, you could see a hint of brown which didn’t look like a street. But if you looked in the other direction, you could clearly see the dome on the Museum of Science building. And if you looked across the way and could see through a building, you would see the dome at MIT.  _ Home _ . For the next six or eight years… however long it took to obtain his post-baccalaureate, Masters, and PhD. 

Becky, Eleanor’s roommate, looked Irish or Scottish or something. Kinky orangey-red hair, blue eyes, more freckles than face, and a mouth that seemed to never stop talking. She liked him, too. He could see the appreciation in her eyes; she was checking him out whenever the parents and Eleanor weren’t looking. ‘I’m fifteen,’ he mouthed at her after her fourth leisurely eye-fuck. ‘Jail bait.' He wouldn’t mind dating an older woman, and Becky was pretty enough if you ignored the verbal blathering. But his sister’s roommate was probably supposed to be off limits. And Becky used the word ‘like’ like Mathew’s high school friends used the word ‘fuck’; it was annoying as Hell. 

Finally,  _ finally! _ , Eleanor was all unpacked, the last hugs given, and Michael found himself back in the car for the (hopefully) short ride across the river to Cambridge. Unfortunately, his parents refused to allow him to live in a dorm with the rest of the freshmen. Instead, they rented a room in a house. Someone they knew back in China knew someone who knew someone and so on until they knew someone who lived a fifteen minute walk from MIT who rented out rooms for Chinese students. Michael did a quick web search for information about the house where he’d be staying, and found, to his surprise, that it was owned by a huge Chinese medical conglomerate. And he would be the first person actually paying rent to live there…. The other housemates were all employees, or children of employees, of that conglomerate studying in the Boston area.

The house was much bigger than it seemed in the web search. Eight windows across, two stories, white picket fence, and a driveway which went around the house to an actual carriage house in the back. 

As the car rolled to a stop, the back door opened and a young man, perhaps twenty years old or so at the most, stepped out onto the back deck and waved with a welcoming grin on his face. “Check out those tats…” Matthew nudged his brother. “You think he’s yakuza?”

“Yakuza are Japanese, you idiot,” Michael retorted. “You’re thinking of the Triads.” But the tats were cool: black lightning bolts traveling up his neck accenting his very pale skin.

* * *

**May, 2012**

Dr. Ma swallowed nervously, feeling extremely awkward in scrubs, and followed the intern into a conference room on the twenty-fifth floor of the hospital. He had never been on the twenty-fifth floor. He didn’t even know anyone who, even accidentally, went to the twenty-fifth floor! Even the Board Members did not have access to the twenty-fifth floor! This floor housed some office space and a personal residence for the Chairman! The intern had needed a special key to access the floor via elevator. Seated in one of the chairs in the room was Secretary Lan, the most powerful woman in the company. It was quietly rumored that she was a direct descendant of one of the original founders of the QishanWen Medical Group; the company itself had existed in one form or another before the Great Wall was built. It was widely known that she was one of the few who knew what the Chairman looked like. Even the board members did not get to meet the Chairman; he communicated exclusively through Secretary Lan.

“Please, sit,” the Secretary ordered in perfectly accented British English. “Would you like something to drink?”

“Water,” Dr. Ma bowed, answering in English, “if it’s not too much trouble.” The intern sat down a bottle of water and a glass at his side.

“That will be all,” the Secretary otherwise ignored the intern who bowed low before leaving, shutting the door behind him. “You must be wondering why I called you here.”

“Yes, Ma’am.” His eyes flickered to the two men sitting behind the Secretary. Even through their suits, he could see they were muscled…. Bodyguards perhaps? But one of them seemed awfully young… he looked to be a teenager…. 

“You went to medical school at Harvard University in Boston, correct?”

“It’s across the river in Cambridge, but yes, Ma’am.”

“So you are familiar with that city?”

Dr. Ma was thoroughly confused. “Yes, Ma’am. Do you… do you think I lied on my application? I can show you my diploma!”

The Secretary smiled. “My apologies, Doctor. You are here precisely because of your familiarity with the city. Not because you have done anything wrong. My aide, Sheng Lin,” she motioned to the younger man behind her, “will be moving to the United States for a few years. The QishanWen Group will be buying a house in Cambridge for him and our trainees who are currently going to school in that area. It is inconvenient to ask him to live in the student dorms. At the same time, it is uncomfortable to ask him to move to a strange city and country and be all alone like he would be in an apartment. So a house. However, the company does not have a real estate agent in Boston at this time.”

Dr. Ma blinked at Secretary Lan, but held his tongue for the moment. Apartments in the Boston area could be extremely expensive. However, to buy a house in Cambridge? Even the tiniest house in Cambridge was almost a half a million US dollars! If they were planning on buying a three bedroom house, they would be looking at spending at least a million or two! A lot of apartments could be rented out for the price of that one house…. The QishanWen Medical Group was a multinational, billion US dollar entity, though. They could afford a few million for a house for the Chairman’s Secretary’s aide.

“You will please clear your schedule for July and August. You, and your wife if she would like, will be taking an all expense paid trip to Boston with my aide to find us an appropriate house.” She passed a document across the table. “These are our minimum requirements.” At least five bedrooms capable of sleeping eight people in total. Walking distance to Harvard and MIT or on a bus route to those universities. At least a one car garage on the property or within walking distance to a covered parking garage with monthly rental access. At the bottom was stapled the Secretary’s business card. “You will communicate directly with me on this. Send me information on any and all houses that fit our criteria. We will give you a company credit card before you leave, but if you incur expenses that cannot be put on that card, you will send the receipts directly to my attention, and I will see that you are reimbursed. If you have hotel preferences, please let my intern know on the way out.”

Dr. Ma folded the paper and slid it into his scrubs pocket. “Ma’am…” he hedged. “Housing in Cambridge is expensive. A house for eight people… This will be a several million dollar investment. Are you sure you want me for this? And not perhaps a Vice President? Or a Board Member?”

She smiled warmly. “This investment is something the Chairman wants. He will be making the final decision on whether or not to purchase the property. I choose you because of your familiarity with the city and your fluency in English. Our Vice Presidents and Board members only have the language skills necessary…. On top of that, you have worked hard and well for the last ten years for us. And you rarely take vacations. I believe your five year wedding anniversary is this summer?” He nodded, amazed that she took the time to research his background like this. “A two month vacation after ten years of work is not much.”

* * *

**January, 2017**

Michael glanced at his phone as a text notification binged. Becky was returning from break over the weekend and invited him to hang out. He shoved the phone back in his pocket without replying. He had made the mistake of taking Becky up on an offer to ‘hang out’ already. Even his horny teenage body, excited to lose its virginity with an eager woman, couldn’t handle more than twenty minutes of the word ‘like’ before he had to flee. 

He had gone on a few dates with some college women, but they all bugged out as soon as they heard he was sixteen. Apparently it was only acceptable for college boys to date sixteen year old girls, not the other way around. There were more than a few college-aged men who gave him admiring looks, though…. One had even offered to blow him in the bathroom when he went across the river to attend a football game with his sister. He had turned that one down, but more because A, they were in a public bathroom, so gross, and B, the dude was  _ ugly _ , rather than C, it was a dude. 

He had looked at some gay and bisexual porn after that, and decided, he probably wasn’t totally repulsed by guys…. He wasn’t overly enthusiastic about the idea of having some guy’s cock up his ass, but doing it to a guy? It must kind of be like oral sex: close your eyes and you can’t tell who’s blowing you. Yeah, face-to-face anal, it would be easy to tell, but doggy style? Or so he supposed, having never had the pleasure or giving or receiving any kind of sex. He hadn’t even had his first kiss for Christ’s sake! 

“Oh, Mike,” Alice called out as he passed through the kitchen to snag an apple. That wasn’t her real name, but all of his housemates, other than Sheng Lin (the tattooed guy), insisted upon using their English names and speaking English. The only Chinese they brought into the house was homemade food. “Your roommate’s stuff is here. The movers left it in the sunroom. Do you want help bringing it up to your room? Or do you want to wait until he gets here?”

“Roommate?” What the Hell was she talking about?

“Yes, roommate,” Alice repeated. “The person who’s going to sleep in the other bed in the room. Roommate.”

_ Fuck _ . He had quite enjoyed not having a roommate after fifteen years of living with his twin…. he had even used the empty bed as a storage device….  _ Now I’m going to have to clean it off! _ he whined to himself. It wasn’t that he was a dirty person; he did keep the room dust free as much as possible and kept his dirty clothes in the bucket instead of being thrown on the floor. It was just that he had different areas of the room set up for different activities. His core classes he studied at one desk. He used the other for his own research: what would eventually become the basis of his Master’s thesis. The empty bed was where he did fun stuff: reading, watching movies, watching  _ other  _ kinds of movies, and playing music. And he sat on the floor to study electives. Was he going to have to buy a tie to hang on the doorknob now like they did in college movies?  _ Don’t come in, I’m watching porn. _ A roommate was seriously going to cramp his style…. Not his nonexistent dating lifestyle, obviously, but the ‘wake up at 2 AM because you solved a problem in your dreams and you have to immediately write it down before you forget it’ kind of lifestyle. Or the ‘get so involved in something you don’t realize it’s long past time to go to bed until the sun rises’.

Passing through the living room, he stopped to admire his new earrings in the mirror over the mantle piece. The black looked so good against his neck… made his skin look even more fair. And once again wondered about the bamboo flute in a glass case sitting below the mirror. For some reason, it had a red stringy thing attached to one end…. Like they showed in those Chinese Wuxia tv shows…. The warriors in those shows seemed to really like wearing these tassels on their belts and sword handles. Speaking of swords… he turned to look at the two swords hanging on the wall over the couch. Sheng Lin called the silver and white one  _ Bichen _ and the wooden one  _ Suibian _ . That had been an interesting conversation, a la  _ Who’s on First? _ ‘What do you call that one?’ ‘Whatever.’ ‘Then I’ll call it Brownie!’ ‘You can’t call it Brownie!’ ‘Why not? You said I can call it whatever I want.’ ‘No, I said it is called  _ Whatever. _ ’ How the Hell Lin got through Customs and Border Patrol with those things, he didn’t know. The guy claimed they had been in his family for over a thousand years, minus the years when the original owners were reborn and took them back. So there was no way he had provenance proving ownership lying around. Black market exporting of cultural heritage and antiquities was  _ huge _ , and the Chinese government was working hard to keep its treasures within its borders, so there was no way they’d let these antiques just waltz out of the country. In someone’s pocket, no less, because Lin also claimed with a straight face he had placed the swords in his coat pocket going through airport security and immigration; it wasn’t his fault the x-ray machines were unable to detect millennia old weaponry. How tall was his coat anyway that these three foot long swords would fit in a pocket? Even if it was a pocket going down the back of a trench coat, it would be kind of obvious  _ something _ was there when the coat wouldn’t fold to fit in a bin at Security…. He also claimed, again with a straight face, that the swords were intelligent and kept themselves locked until their owners came to retrieve them. 

He took a bite from his apple, and absentmindedly licked the juice running down his wrist.  _ Right. Like these Chinese-Jedi dudes really existed once upon a time. Yiling Luke: You killed my father! Darth Jiang: No! I am your father! Then Lan Solo comes to rescue them with the Millenium Bichen. Yin and Yang energy, the light side and the dark side of the Force… same idea, different millennia. _ It would be kind of cool if George Lucas was inspired by Chinese Wuxia. His palms itched to remove Bichen from the wall; it would be  _ really _ cool if he could pull the blade from the scabbard! 

At the same time, these swords were not toys, so unsheathing them would be for what? It’s not like he could fight with them…. Although Lin had offered to teach him swordplay with a set of bamboo swords he had in the carriage house…. Plus there were stories, more Japanese than Chinese, that swords would get upset and cause bad luck to their owners if they were unsheathed and not able to drink blood. So warriors who sparred with their swords would cut their fingers on the blades when they were done practicing. He looked down at his empty hand, fingers calloused from playing the violin and tried to imagine deliberately cutting his finger to appease a sword spirit and shivered.  _ Although I suppose that one learns to accept cut fingers rather quickly when one fights with swords…. A sliced finger has to be better than a sliced off body part. _

He finished off his apple and washed his hands.  _ Time to stop screwing around. Fucking roommate…. _


	40. Chapter 02 - Again

**January 2017**

Ming Lim tried not to glare at the TSA agent examining his travel documents. “How am I supposed to read this?” the agent muttered looking at their national IDs full of Chinese characters and then hurriedly flipping open their passports, sighing in relief at seeing English letters there.

Ming Lim just smiled faintly. _Learn to read a civilized language, then._ But out loud, he said, “Is there a problem, Officer?” Next to him, his guardian signed <This is taking too long. We should still have enough time for the flight, though.>

The agent puffed up in arrogance and anger. “What’s he saying?”

Ming Lim bowed slightly. “Uncle Song does not speak. He was asking me if there was a problem with our documents,” he lied.

“Whaddya mean he doesn’t speak? Is he stupid?”

“No sir. Uncle Song can read, write, and understand many languages, including English. He just is unable to speak.”

The agent humphed in superiority. “So he’s a dumb mute.”

Ming Lim tried to translate ‘dumb mute’ in his head. ‘Mute’ was not coming to him. ‘Dumb’ he understood; usually it was an insult. He struggled to remain calm; getting angry over the insult would not accomplish anything. “May we go through, Officer? Uncle Song is worried about missing our flight.”

“Whyareya going to Boston?” 

Even after half a year in the United States, Ming Lim had difficulty understanding when the natives slurred their words together. New Yorkers, even when they weren’t slurring words, were nearly impossible to understand. “I will be studying at a college there.” He had spent the fall semester in New York City studying at Julliard. But for some unknown reason, last week his father had unenrolled him from Julliard and enrolled him in Boston Conservatory. And on top of that, his father’s personal bodyguard, Chen Song, was sent over from Beijing to pretend to be his guardian in Boston. 

Ming Lim was of the firm opinion that just turned eighteen year old boys, especially Chinese nationals studying music in the United States, did not need guardians or bodyguards. His father, however, was the Chairman of an electronics conglomerate, and he had already been the victim of several kidnapping attempts when he was younger. So instead of saying he had a bodyguard or guardian, he claimed he was traveling with his Uncle. 

Uncle Song was the kind of man who had looked like he was in his mid-twenties when he was a teenager and would continue to look like he was only perhaps thirty when he was well into his sixties. Ming Lim had no idea how old the man actually was; he had learned sign language from the man starting around age five, after the first kidnapping attempt, and he looked exactly the same now as he did then. He wore his hair long, almost to his waist without a single strand of white in it. When openly working as a bodyguard, he would arrange his hair up in a traditional warrior’s top knot. But when he was trying to be more casual, like today, he tied it back into a ponytail at the nape of his neck. 

The TSA agent had finally let them pass, and now they stood in line to pass through the security check. Uncle Song grabbed one of the gray bins and folded his wool coat in it. In the next bin he placed his shoes, belt, wallet, cell phone, and for some reason a tassel with a silver ball on it and some sort of carved jade token. <Uncle Song, what are those?> Ming Lim signed. 

<Nothing.> Song signed back. <Good luck pieces.>

Ming Lim settled into his first class seat, and thought about that jade piece. It was unlike any lucky totem he had ever seen before…. There was what looked to be some curvy lines inscribed on it. And there was definitely something written on it…. But the bin was inserted into the x-ray machine before he had a chance to read it…. And Uncle Song placed the token and the tassel into his pockets first, even before his wallet and cell phone. 

Come to think of it… Ming Lim had seen the tassel with the silver ball before… or one just like it. Uncle Song occasionally attended certain ceremonies wearing those criss-crossed robes that one would see on Wuxia TV shows and half of his hair twisted up into some old fashioned silver hair piece…. The tassel had hung off his sash. Deciding it wasn’t important, the young man stuck his ear buds in and started the music app on his phone. John Williams' Memoirs of a Geisha flowed into his brain; his left hand unconsciously moved to his breast bone, his fingers ‘playing’ his chest to Yo-Yo Ma’s cello. He wasn’t a huge cello fan (he could, of course, play the instrument reasonably well), but this music was incredibly moving.

Ming Lim placed his backpack and suitcase next to his bed, still flabbergasted at the idea of having a roommate. He had never shared a room before in his life. Even his dorm at Julliard was a single! This boy… what kind of freak was he? Blue hair, dangly black crystal earring, barefoot, ripped jeans and a faded concert t-shirt. The other earring was tangled in his sheets. He was sitting cross-legged on his unmade bed playing, was that an electric violin? Ming Lim could hear the rasping of the bow against the strings, but no music…. He was wearing earbuds _ah… the earbuds are connected to the violin_ , some sort of gelled eye mask, and a clothespin on his nose. _Why was he wearing a clothespin???_ The room was a mess! Books everywhere, notebooks everywhere, three laptops. _What college kid needs three laptops?_

“Don’t touch my shit. I’ll clean it up later.”

“Pardon me?”

“Did I stutter, or…. _Nǐ bù shuō yīngyǔ ma_ ?” _Don’t you speak English?_

“I’m fluent in four languages,” Ming Lim boasted. Plus Uncle Song’s version of sign language.

Michael laughed. “Fine. Tell me which ones you speak, and I’ll tell you the same thing in any of them: don’t touch my shit; I’ll clean it up later.”

Ming Lim glared at his roommate and went off to find Uncle Song. The older man had an apartment over the, what did they call it again? Not a garage… A car house? No… Something like that, though. The room Uncle had was much larger than the bedroom he was to share with the slob. “Uncle Song…. Please let me rent an apartment. He’s a… I can’t live with him.”

<You’ve been here five minutes. Find a way. Your father wants you to live here.>

Ming Lim ground his teeth in frustration. <Can I stay here with you, then?>

Chen Song paused from unpacking. <Text five friends. Complain about your roommate to them. If at least three respond within twelve hours, you can move in here.>

Ming Lim stared at his guardian. Text five friends? He didn’t have friends. He had acquaintances in China; the boys wanted to get close to his father, the girls wanted to get close to his money. He didn’t miss any of them and none of them had contacted him after he left for New York. He had sort of made _a_ friend, singular, back in New York, but that kid rarely took his phone with him and when he did, it was usually out of battery. They had bonded over their love of music, but had no other topics to converse on. He’d lost his only other friend at seven: the second kidnapping attempt had been orchestrated by that boy’s grandfather. <That’s impossible,> he finally admitted. 

Chen Song looked like he wanted to grin in satisfaction. <Ask him to show you a good restaurant for dinner. Or ask him to show you the city. Sheng Lin told me there is a square around her with nice restaurants and outdoor entertainment when the weather is nice.>

“Why should I ask him to take me?” Ming Lim groused. 

<Because for some reason, the Chairman wants you to be friendly with that boy.>

“What?” Ming Lim screeched. But Chen Song had returned to his unpacking. And Ming Lim knew, from years of experience, that once the man had decided he was done talking, there was nothing that would change his mind. Dejected, he returned to his room and the boy who was at least no longer wearing a clothespin on his nose. 

Half the room was clear. It was literally as if his roommate had mentally drawn a line dividing the room in half and shoved everything on Ming Lim’s side across it. The boy was sitting on top of his desk, back pressed against the window, notebook balanced on his thighs. The notebook covered the boy’s face from the eyebrows down, so Ming Lim still had no idea what his roommate looked like. And he was scribbling furiously using a mechanical pencil. Every few words, he pressed too hard and the pencil broke. The sounds were curiously rhythmic… swish, swish, swish, snap, click, click, click. Ming Lim sat down on his bed and thought of what instruments he would use to wrap around his roommates percussion…. Something with strings…. A guitar maybe… an acoustic…. Oh, and the percussion could be castanets! A vaguely Spanish melody wove its way around his brain; his fingers itched to write it down. Of course, his sheet music was all packed away in that, what did they call it? Sun room? Odd name for a room that was quite shady…. He grabbed his laptop from his backpack; he could write music on it almost as easily as he could write it by hand. The good thing about using a laptop was he could use a synthesizer app to play his music back, make sure it sounded in real life the way it sounded in his head. 

His laptop pinged, notifying him of an incoming email. He clicked on the app, and read with growing horror what his father’s secretary wrote. He hadn’t been sent to Boston to study at the Conservatory at all! He was enrolled at Harvard’s Business school, and he was permitted to take two classes per semester at the Conservatory, starting over the summer, _if_ he maintained a 4.0 GPA. If he was able to earn his Bachelor’s and an MBA with a 4.0 within five years, he would be permitted to return to Juilliard and finish a degree there. Both came with the expectation that upon completion, he would return to China and work for his father. Any dreams he had of joining a symphony, especially those of becoming a concertmaster, would never come true.

In the meantime, the secretary added, he was to become good friends with two people in the house: Sheng Lin and Michael Wu. Sheng Lin worked directly under Secretary Lan at the QishanWen Medical Group; one of their divisions was developing a new medical imaging device, and Chairman Ming wanted the rights to build it. And Michael Wu was a promising engineer; the Chairman had already read some of the young man’s work and wanted to bring him over once he had his PhD. 

Ming Lim looked up and glared at his roommate still sitting on his desk. _Who sits on a desk to study?_ _How am I supposed to become friends with this freak?_

* * *

**February 2017**

It was surprisingly easy to become friendly with Sheng Lin; the man was almost uncomfortably eager to be of assistance. Whether it was cooking dinner or showing him around Cambridge and Boston, or even just getting his clothing to and from the dry cleaners, the other man always was ready to help. But when it came time to reciprocate…. Sheng Lin needed and wanted nothing. If Ming Lim brought home takeout for the house, Lin would sit at the table with them, but would not eat. He claimed he had a delicate stomach, so he only ate food he prepared. He did his own laundry and refused to allow anyone to help clean the kitchen after he cooked. So friendly… but not friends. Not as Ming Lim would define the word at least.

As for Michael…. They had been roommates for a month, and he still had no idea what the other boy looked like. Ming Lim got up for the day at 5:30, did some calisthenics to keep his body toned, showered, ate breakfast and headed off to his 8 o’clock class. Michael slept the entire time; the only body parts visible were his feet. Everything else, even his hair, was covered by the blankets! In the evening, it was a rare night that Michael returned to the room before him, and on those nights, the other boy was either on his bed playing his violin or his keyboard (earbuds, mask and clothespin in place), or sitting on his desk hiding behind his knees and notebook. They never talked after the ‘leave my shit alone’ conversation. If one could even call that a conversation.

So it was more than slightly startling when he arrived home this Friday afternoon and heard a voice coming from his room. “No, Eleanor, he isn’t changing his mind…. No…. Look, Travis told me no, not interested. And I quote, “unless you’re inviting me” end quote. In this case the ‘you’re’ he was referring to was me…. Yeah, I think he’s gay…. No, Eleanor, I’m not going to date the guy just so you can have some eye candy at the game tonight…. Why? Because he isn’t my type!.... No, sis…. Yeah, the height and the hair are yummy. And the muscles are to die for…. Yes, that’s sarcasm…. I’m not dating a guy who can bench press me with one hand just because you think he’s scrumptious…. No! There’s no way in Hell I’m going with just you and Becky!.... Because she isn't my type either…. Beauty isn’t everything; I require multiple brain cells knocking around in their skulls…. I’ll make a deal with you: if she can go a full five minutes without saying the word ‘like’, I’ll go to the game tonight with just the two of you…. Ha ha ha. Very funny. One would think Jiejie would want to prevent her roommate from taking Erdi’s virginity….” Blushing, Ming Lim tapped gently on the door. “Hey, hold on Sis, someone’s here.” Michael opened the door to see his roommate standing there. “Jiejie, I have an idea. Call you in a few.”

Ming Lim could feel his blush extending all the way from his head to his feet: Michael was standing in the doorway, wearing only a pair of white boxer shorts, toweling his hair dry. Ming Lim struggled to keep his gaze on Michael’s face, but his vision kept expanding to the defined pecs and 4-pack abs, all the way down to the tight thighs. Michael rolled his eyes, and turned to pull on his jeans. Ming Lim stared at the perfect buttocks displayed by the boxers until they disappeared into the faded pants. “When you’re done eye-fucking me, let me know, kay?” 

Ming Lim slammed his eyes shut and stumbled to sit on his bed. _This is my roommate? This is what has been hiding behind that eye mask and clothespin?_ That face… those cheekbones… those eyes…. _Is he wearing mascara or are his eyelashes naturally that full?_ Those lips…. Chinese modeling agencies would _kill_ to get him in front of a camera. “I wasn’t… I… I didn’t... what you said.”

“Lemme guess… you’re not gay, right?” Ming Lim opened his eyes in time to see a faded t-shirt slipping down over those almost perfect abs. He nodded no, frantically, but in the deep, dark, recesses of his mind, he could hear it screaming _yes, for you, yes_. “S'cool, Whatever. Hey… so my sister has four tickets to see a hockey game tonight. But the guy she’s drooling over appears to have the hots for me, so….”

“So?” Ming Lim managed to not drool at the sight of his roommate slipping on a pair of wire-rimmed glasses and running gel through his hair. 

“So you wanna go with? Jiejie’s cool. Her roommate’s a ditz, but she’s pretty. Do you like redheads? She might go for you…. You’re prettier than I am….”

“You think I’m pretty?” slipped out of Ming Lim’s mouth. “No. No. I’m not gay….”

“Calm your hemorrhoids. I get it: you’re not gay. And I’m not into rape.”  
  
“Are you gay? What’s hemmer… hermeds….”

Michael shrugged and gave one last look at his reflection in the mirror. “Maybe? Mostly I think about dating women…. But there have been a few guys that I wondered about. Hemorrhoids are things you get on your butt. Very painful. It’s just a saying. Like… calm your horses. Or don’t get your panties in a bunch.”

“Ahhh.” He’d heard those sayings before. 

“So?” Ming Lim snapped to attention having no idea what his roommate was referring to. “Hockey game? Yes or no?”

“Yes.” He’d never been to a hockey game, but apparently it was an important sport at Harvard. Several of his classmates were on the team. Most of his classmates went to the home games. 

It was fun. Kind of like basketball but it was a lot harder to see the puck than it was to see the ball. And afterward, Eleanor and Becky took them to some party in their dorm. Everyone was drinking, even though the vast majority of them were well below the legal drinking age. He had a few sips of beer, not really enjoying the taste, but he did enjoy the way it made his stomach feel warm…. Becky dragged him to some hat game they were playing. Everyone’s name went into one hat and then they wrote silly dares on a piece of paper which went into a different hat. The only rule given was ‘no removing clothing’. But apparently everything else was allowed: the first two names drawn, two girls, pulled out a dare to feel each other’s breasts! So Ming Lim was more than slightly afraid when he heard his name called…. Luckily, it was only ‘walk and quack like a duck’. 

He was sipping his second beer, and feeling the effects, when his name was called again with the instruction to french kiss. “Huh? What is french kissing?” _Kissing is not a topic covered in English class!_


	41. Chapter 03 - Again

**February 2017, continued**

Michael, sitting next to him, sighed. “It’s kissing with tongues, Ming Lim.” Louder, he called out, “He forfeits. What’s the penalty?”

Ming Lim looked cross-eyed at his roommate. “Why should I forfeit? Because I’ve never kissed a girl before?”

Amid calls to chug, Michael leaned in to whisper in Ming Lim’s ear. “Forfeit because I’m the one who’s supposed to kiss you.”

“You don’t want to kiss me….” For some reason, this made Ming Lim angry.

“It doesn’t matter what I might want!” Michael hissed. “You’ve already made it crystal clear that you’re not into guys. And that’s fine. But if you decide to try it out, I think you should be sober when you do!” He stood up and yanked MIng Lim to his feet. “Sorry, guys. He’s drunk off his ass…. His uncle will kill me if I bring him home like this. Eleanor? Can I have your room key? I need to sober him up a bit.” Key in hand, Michael walked Ming Lim down the hall to the bathroom, helped him to wash his face and rinse his mouth, and then practically carried him to Eleanor’s dorm room. Head spinning, Ming Lim collapsed on one of the beds. 

“Too bright…” Ming Lim whined. 

“Eleanor needs a night light or she gets nightmares.” Michael removed the other’s shoes, and shoved him. “Scootch over.”

“Wèishéme?”  _ Why _ ?

“Yīnwèi... you’re either sleeping with me or you’re sleeping with Becky. Or you’re sleeping on the floor. No way in Hell you’re sleeping with my sister.” The bed was too narrow for the two to sleep on their backs. Michael pushed and prodded at Ming Lim until they were both lying on their sides, back to back. 

“Sleep with you,” Ming Lim murmured. “Prettier than Becky. What’s eye-fucking?”

“What you were doing back in our room. Undressing someone with your eyes.”

“Oh. But you weren’t wearing any clothes. How can I undress you if you’re not wearing anything?”

“Wǎn'ān.”  _ Good night _ .

“Michael? Do you want to eye-fuck me?”

Michael rolled over in the cramped space. “Do you want me to?”

“No,” but his head was nodding yes. “Michael?”

“Shuìjiào ba.”  _ Go to sleep. _

Ming Lim turned over. “Why do you wear an eye mask and a clothespin when you play music?”

“It’s sort of like sensory deprivation.” Drunk eyes peered into sober, showing a complete lack of understanding. “When I can’t solve a problem, it’s usually because there’s too much crap filling up my head. So I play music to clear things out. The mask prevents me from seeing anything but the problem. And the clothespin hurts! Keeps me focused.”

Michael wasn’t too sure how much Ming Lim had heard or understood: his eyes had drooped closed, and he was breathing steadily halfway into the explanation.  _ If you’re straight, why do you want me to eye-fuck you? If you’re not…. _ Don’t dip your quill in the company ink was a rule for a reason. Don’t sleep with your roommate was most likely a corollary to that rule.  _ I don’t think I’d mind it, though…. _ Those eyes…. Long and narrow with an uptilt at the corners that girls spent hundreds of hours each year imitating with make-up. When they opened wide in astonishment, they were, quite possibly, the most beautiful eyes he’d ever seen. The nose wasn’t much to write home about…. Not too small, but not honking, either. His top lip was on the thin side, but his bottom lip…. Oh, dear Lord. That bottom lip was designed to be nibbled on. And sucked. That was a 4k quality porno lip…. They were almost the same height, maybe half an inch difference, so if they ever did kiss, neither one would be getting a sore neck….  _ Who said I want to kiss my fucking roommate…. _ He reached up and ran his index finger over that perfect lip only to have his roommate shift his hips and moan.  _ Having a good dream, are we? _ Michael rolled over and shifted lower in the bed so he could cover his head with the blankets; enveloped in the darkness, he fell asleep.

And when he woke up the next morning, it was to find himself half lying on top of Ming Lim’s stomach and chest, cuddling the guy like he was a freaking teddy bear! He even had one arm threaded through the other’s legs and his hand was clutching Lim’s ass! Avoiding his panicked roommate’s eyes, he untangled himself, mumbling, “Sorry. I was dreaming I won one of those huge stuffies at the Big E.”

“What’s a Big E?” It was obvious Ming Lim was trying to sound normal, but his voice was slightly higher pitched.  _ The poor guy was probably afraid to kick me out of bed in case I grabbed his junk on the way down… _

“It’s a huge state fair in the western part of the state. Farmers compete to see who has the biggest pumpkin, best looking goat, shit like that. But there’s also a carnival section with rides and games, and if you’ve got amazing skills, you can win these freakin’ huge stuffed animals. Like taller than you and me.”

It was a quiet trip back to the other side of the river. Michael let Ming Lim head up to their room alone. He supposed the man might need some time alone to get over being drunk for the first time. And all the sexual shit that went on the night before.  _ Does he even remember telling me that I’m pretty? Or that he wants me to check him out? _ Shaking his head, Michael headed into the carriage house to see what Sheng Lin was up to.

The tattooed man was fiddling with what looked to be an old fashioned, wooden printing press. After greeting each other good morning, Sheng Lin patted the machine proudly, “This was your fourth prototype, do you remember? The first one you forgot to account for the weight of the blocks, so it collapsed right away. And the second… I never understood why you put Qiū on top of it! Especially when he was already crawling! You must have known he’d try to crawl off….”

Michael blinked at the other man. Sometimes his English was Oxford perfect and other times….  _ Dude? Sometimes you sound seriously freaking weird, man. _ But all he said was, “Interesting. I never heard any of those stories about Gutenberg.”

“Who?”

“Gutenberg. The inventor of the printing press. I always thought he made his presses out of metal, though…. Maybe it was just after they went into production….”

“He must be the European inventor or something. In the 1400s? 1500s? Yes? Ah… dui. He made a bible, I remember now…. No, Yílíng Lǎozǔ made this centuries before the Europeans came up with the idea. It was easy for him to design the machine; the problem was the paper and ink. Chinese paper at the time was too thin and tore easily when fed into the machine. And the ink was not suitable, either. It took him another two decades to find someone who could perfect the ink and paper so the machine would work…. As soon as you got everything working, you sent the third prototype off to Cloud Recesses so Zéwú-jūn could print out his library for you.

“Yílíng Lǎozǔ amassed the largest library in the ancient world, even larger than the library at Alexandria. He gave the devices to the various publishing houses for free as long as they gave him a copy of every single book they published. It didn’t matter if it was a literary treasure or third-rate porn; you loved the idea of having information right there for everyone to have…. Too bad your successors didn’t feel the same way…. A’Yuàn managed to save most of it…. It’s now stored in a bunch of those temperature controlled rooms at the QishanWen original headquarters. I’ll show it to you sometime….”

_ Here he is talking about this Yiling guy again. First he’s a reincarnatable Jedi and now an inventor? This is some Paul Bunyun level shit. Is reincarnateable even a word?  _ “This Yílíng Lǎozǔ sounds interesting. Too bad my history class on China was like a chapter long.”

Sheng Lin sighed, sadly. “You won’t find him in any current history books…. Not long after the ability to form a JīnDān and cultivate spiritual energy was lost, his name was relegated to mythology and fairy tales…. And most of those stories were lost long before Gutenberg created his own printing press…. It was only Lán SīZhuī and his descendants who have kept the history intact. Even Yílíng Lǎozǔ’s direct descendants forgot who he was and what he stood for after a few generations…. I suppose that it was easier for Lán SīZhuī’s to remember him since I was right there.” Michael rolled his eyes, mentally not physically, at that. Like this college kid was really over a thousand years old!

They chatted for a bit more until Michael felt like his roommate had had enough time to shower, change, and go hide or whatever. He decided to act as if it was completely normal to have your roommate stare at your body like it was a lollipop he wanted to lick and call you pretty. And wake up with your arm between his legs and your hand gripping his ass. Nothing to be ashamed about or bothered over. 

It was, however, a rather nice ass to grip. A very nice combination of plush and muscle…. Not that he had any experience with gripping anyone else’s ass….

It was hard to return to the previous normal, though, when Ming Lim insisted upon looking like a puppy being kicked by a bully every time Michael had a date, platonic or otherwise. With the new semester underway, a few girls had asked him to go out with them on the weekends. And a few guys even invited him to a hockey game or basketball game. It appeared the stigma of being sixteen was alleviated by his popularity with some of the professors and/or his perfect scores on the final exams since at least half of the ‘dates’ were preludes to requests for tutoring. Although one of his dates was not subtle at all in letting him know the tutoring would be private and sans clothing. Since he had also shown Michael some pictures of his favorite whips and dildos, Michael had noped out of that one. He  _ might _ be interested in experimenting with such things  _ after _ he’d lost his virginity, but not during, thank you very much. 

It came to a head for Ming Lim about a month and a half after that Friday night. Michael was getting ready to head out to watch a March Madness game. There were a bunch of guys all going together, one of whom knew a bouncer who would probably let them into the bar to watch the game as long as they stuck to sodas. Michael was holding up various pieces of clothing trying to decide which ones made him look old enough to not be immediately thrown out by any passing cops for obviously being underage. And Ming Lim sat on his bed watching him: jaw clenched and those beautiful eyes glittery with unshed tears. “Stop looking at me like that. I said you could come with me! Just wear something that doesn’t look so preppy and shit.”

“Looking at you like what?”

“Like I just killed your best friend or something. Or… like you’re jealous.”

Ming Lim stood up, fists clenched. “I’m not jealous!”

“Good! Change your clothes and let’s go!”

Ming Lim stared at his roommate. “You’re an idiot.” He, too, had tried to return to normal. But how could he return to ‘normal’ when all he could see when he closed his eyes was Michael’s perfect body. All he could feel when he laid down at night was the comforting weight of Michael’s head on his chest, and the hand holding his bum. When he jacked off in the shower, it was Michael’s hand he imagined was rubbing his dick. Michael, who might or might not be gay, invaded every single aspect of his life, and then went out on dates with girls! Or worse, with guys! Ming Lim was in agony day after day, lusting after his roommate, and this roommate had no clue!  _ I’m not gay! Why do you make me feel like this!? _

Michael’s voice was muffled as he pulled his shirt off over his head. “No, I’m not. My mother had me tested.” When Ming Lim just blinked at him, not understanding the reference, he sighed. “Seriously dude… if we’re ever going to be friends, you  _ need _ to watch the Big Bang Theory.” When that still earned no response, he sighed again, nodded towards his roommate’s fists, and spread his arms wide, exposing his bare chest. “Do you wanna hit me? Will that make you feel better? Go ahead. Just not my face or my junk, OK?”

Ming Lim was paralyzed at the sight of all the bare skin. He swallowed again and again, desperately trying to get some spit back into his mouth. 

Michael, who was not a  _ complete _ idiot when it came to people, slowly lowered his arms. “Do… do you like me?” Ming Lim jumped and shook his head no, eyes spreading even wider in panic. “But you said you weren’t gay….” 

Ming Lim stopped shaking his head, worried that a ‘no’ would be taken as a negation of ‘not gay’ instead of confirming ‘not gay’.  _ I’m not gay. Honest. I just fantasize about you. Only you…. Āiyā! Don’t come near me! _ Michael’s step forward had Ming Lim stumbling backwards to fall onto his bed. “Nǐ gàn shénme?”  _ What are you doing? _

“Nǐ xǐhuān wǒ ma?”  _ Do you like me? _

“Bù xǐhuān.” Ming Lim wanted to yell, but it came out in a whisper. He squeezed his eyes shut, as if that would erase the imprint Michael’s body had on his brain. A few very long seconds later, the door opened and shut and then he heard Michael telling someone he was headed out to watch a game.  _ I can’t live like this! I can’t live with him! _ He looked through the wall towards the carriage house and Uncle Song. But that man wouldn’t change his answer; he’d still insist on the texting five friends thing.  _ I don’t have five friends. _ The closest he had to a friend, now, was the reason he wanted to leave this house in the first place! The second closest.... He picked up his phone and hit the call button. “DaJie… Nǐ hěn máng ma?”  _ Are you busy? _

He could almost head Eleanor’s smile through the phone…. “A’Lim… Bù máng. Hold on a minute.” He heard footsteps and a door shut. “Sorry. I was in a friend’s room; they’re going to watch the game.”

“Oh, sorry. I’ll call you later.”

“No! I hate basketball. S’up?”

Now that he had her on the line, how does he say that her brother was bothering him? “Is Michael gay?” He smacked his forehead; that was  _ not _ what he wanted to say.

“Did he do something to you? That little shit! He knows better than to come on to someone who’s not interested. Just tell him to fuck off for now, and I’ll smack him for you next time I see him.”

“He hasn’t done anything…. It’s just… In China, most families have issues with their sons being gay….” He smacked his forehead again. But he couldn’t outright ask his question when he didn’t even really know what he wanted to ask!

Eleanor breathed heavily into the phone. “If he’s gay, that’s the closest to normal he’ll be. He almost died before he was born, and with all the other crap he had to go through…. My parents would have loved if he was only ‘just gay’.”

“He almost died? What other crap?”

“You’ve been roommates for almost three months and he’s never talked to you about this? Hold on. I’m going to hang up and send you some stuff. Read it carefully, and then call me back if you want to talk more.”

The first text had a link to a newspaper article talking about a miracle surgery: a twin delivered by C-section two and a half months early, the other one delivered eight weeks later.  _ I knew he had a younger brother… I didn’t know they were twins! _ And then the date on the article caught his eye.  _ Michael’s only sixteen? _ He knew Michael and Eleanor were both freshmen in college, but he had assumed, apparently incorrectly, that she was less than a year older and had started school at six while Michael had started at five and that’s why they were in the same year…. He hadn’t guessed that Michael had skipped two grades!

The second text was a picture of an admission letter to MIT. Why she sent it, he had no idea. 

The third was a link to a document at a New Hampshire State College: a Master’s Thesis. He tried to read it, but it was very technical…. Other than a few Calculus related words, like derivative and integral, he understood almost none of it.  _ Why is she sending me this? _

The fourth text said: pay attention to the dates. The first article was written in January of 2001. He clicked on the picture and zoomed in on it: March 2012.  _ Michael was admitted to MIT when he was eleven? How...  _ The date on the thesis was May 2016, authored by Michael Wu. He called Eleanor back, “DaJie… I don’t understand. How is Michael a freshman if he was accepted five years ago? How does he have a Master’s degree?”

“I think it would be better if you asked him these questions yourself. The short answer is: he’s a genius. Member of Mensa and everything. My parents wanted him to grow up as normal as possible, so…. MIT wanted him to start his PhD last fall, but he insisted on getting all three degrees in Engineering…. So he’s like a Freshman in that he’s in Freshman classes, but he’s actually in a post-baccalaureate program.

“To circle back to your question about whether or not he’s gay…. From things he’s said, I think he’s more bisexual or bi-curious than homosexual…. But I’ve never asked, I never will ask, and quite frankly, I don’t care. As long as he’s happy and with someone who loves him…. That’s more important to me than whether I get a sister-in-law or brother-in-law. I think my parents are the same…. They almost lost him once; they’re not going to deliberately lose him if he falls in love with a man. 

“Does it bother you that he might be gay? I mean… if you tell him you’re straight, he should leave you alone…. My parents taught us that only a clear and sober yes means ‘yes’, anything else, including silence, means a very firm ‘no’.”

“Méishì.”  _ It’s fine. _ “He hasn’t done anything.”

“Ahhh…” Eleanor sighed into the phone. “LimDidi…. yes means yes,” she repeated. “Anything else, including silence, means a very firm no.”

They ended the phone call shortly after that, and Ming Lim collapsed onto his bed pondering her statement.  _ Of course, yes means yes. What else is it supposed to mean? In what universe does yes mean no? _ He still had no answers when Michael came back home. “Did you win?”

Michael paused at the door. “I think so? I don’t follow the game. My guys were happy, so…. Can I turn the light on?” Receiving a sound that sounded like it might be an affirmation, he flipped the switch. He grabbed a pair of sweats and a T-shirt from a drawer and headed towards the bathroom. 

“Michael? What does ‘yes means yes’ mean?”


	42. Chapter 04 - Again

**March 2017, continued**

“Where did you hear that? Did someone do something to you? Did you try to do something to a girl?” Michael sounded furious.

“I heard it in a YouTube clip” Ming Lim lied. “It sounded silly…. So I guessed it meant something else….”

Michael sighed. “There were assholes, probably they’re still out there, who used to have a saying. ‘No means maybe, maybe means yes, and yes means anal.’ It was based on this stupid thing that girls are too shy to say what they really want when it comes to sex. Like girls who said ‘no’ really meant ‘yes’, so it wasn’t rape if the guy did her. Basically, guys were trying to justify getting laid without consequences or something. So a while back, some people came up with ‘no means no’ in sex ed classes. It meant, if she says no, take it as she means no and don’t pressure her. If she really means yes, she’ll tell you. But there are a lot of date-rapes, especially ones where they got the girls drunk. So they basically couldn't say no…. So they changed it to ‘yes means yes’, meaning get enthusiastic and sober consent before you have sex. Nǐ míngbái ma?”  _ Do you understand? _

“Míngbái.” _I understand._ _No I don’t. I mean, I understand the phrase… but why…._ Michael went into the bathroom to shower and Ming Lim rolled to stare at the wall. Why did Eleanor tell _him_ that ‘yes means yes’? He wasn’t doing anything to anyone! He hardly even talked to the girls in his classes, never mind get close enough to one to ask her out on a date! Surely that was supposed to happen before you would even ask her to have sex with you? _Yeah, OK, there are people in movies who hop into bed with someone before they’ve had a date, but I’m not like that! I’ve never even gone on a date!_ But Eleanor wasn’t talking about dating some random person…. She was talking about Michael! He rolled over to not look at Michael’s bed.

His roommate came out of the bathroom, done with the fastest shower in the history of the planet. “Are you OK? You don’t look so good….”

“I don’t feel so good. I think I have a fever.”  _ I feel so hot. _ A cool hand pressed against his forehead and then a cheek. 

“No fever, but you are flushed…. Are you hurting anywhere?” Michael sat down on the edge of the bed, sending another heat wave through his roommate. 

Ming Lim stared up at Michael, not knowing how to answer that question. His stomach hurt, his chest hurt, everything felt funny. But it wasn’t an actual pain…. The younger boy had taken his contacts out in the bathroom, and was wearing his glasses again. If his roommate was model-gorgeous with his contacts in, he was super-model-gorgeous with glasses. Like it kicked the sexiness up from a perfect ten to a twenty or something. Amazingly smart, sexy, nice…. That cool hand pressed against his forehead again, and it was as if something unlocked in his brain:  _ I want you _ . He wanted this boy’s hands against every inch of his skin, taste his kisses…. He wanted it all…. To fall asleep in his embrace again, wake up cuddled with him again. Was this love or just lust?

Michael hissing, “You want what?” snapped him out of his thoughts. 

“What?” he was confused.

“You just said you want me,” Michael explained through clenched teeth. “Don’t say things like that, do you hear me? People will get the wrong impression.” At Ming Lim’s blank face, he added, “You have to clarify what you want me to do, or it sounds like you want to make-out with me.” 

Ming Lim nodded slowly. “I know what ‘I want you’ means. I watch American movies.”

“Good, just so you’re clear.” Then Michael got up, shut off the light and crawled under his covers. 

And Ming Lim felt his heart breaking… finally understanding what Eleanor had been trying to tell him…. She wasn’t cautioning him about Michael saying yes….  _ LimDidi…. yes means yes. Anything else, including silence, means a very firm no. _ He curled into a ball, and tried very hard to lie still so the bed wouldn’t squeak, tears soaking his pillow…. Michael’s silence to Ming Lim’s declaration was his answer.  _ He doesn't want me. _

* * *

**August 2017**

Michael collapsed spread-eagled onto his bed. His real bed back in Concord, not the one in the room he shared with the roommate from Hell. His professors had been more than mildly upset when he announced he was taking August off from studying. But really! He was almost seventeen, he wanted  _ some _ time to be a kid, he wanted to get his driver’s license before he retired, and he really needed to get away from that emotionally stunted, acting like a fucking toddler, Ming Lim. Seriously, the dude needed therapy or something. 

_ What the actual fuck is wrong with you? _ He wanted to scream it almost daily since that March Madness game night. Yeah, so the guy might be slightly embarrassed at saying ‘I want you’ to another guy… so what? He wasn’t feeling well, and he had a slip of the tongue. Happens to everyone. Literally everyone. There was no need to turn it into this big, huge, ‘I’m never going to talk to you again’ thing. 

Which was what had happened. Overnight, Ming Lim went from acting like a kicked puppy to acting like Michael didn’t exist. Wouldn’t talk, wouldn’t answer questions. Wouldn’t even respond to a ‘please pass the salt’ request at dinner! He went to school, played his violin, and went to sleep. And in between, he treated Michael like a social pariah. Oh, and every night, he cried. Literally every single fucking, goddamned night he’d lie in bed, all curled up around his pillow, and cry. Yeah, he tried to hide it, but how do you hide sniffing and shaking and blowing your nose every single night? Impossible. For Christ’s sake, he slept with a fucking box of tissues! And it wasn’t being used to clean up cum like a normal person!

And worse? He had no fucking clue what those three words had done…. This smart, beautiful, insanely musically talented man, accidentally said ‘I want you’, and Michael’s insides had started flipping around like they were on some wild amusement park ride. Those three fucking words invaded his sleep, prevented him from concentrating on his classes, took hold of him while he was jacking off…. He could picture it so easily… sucking on that bottom lip…. Feeling the other man’s cum coating his hands. Looking down at those beautiful eyes welling up with tears when he tried to deep throat Michael’s cock. He wondered all the time what it would feel like to have Ming Lim’s cock in his mouth, stretching his ass…. What did he taste like? How big was he anyways? Would it just hurt being fucked, or did having a cock rub up against your prostate really feel  _ that  _ good? What would it feel like to fuck Ming Lim… feeling that little hole so hot and tight and slippery with lube squeezing the life out of him….

He had it so bad, he stopped going out with other people and everything. It really wasn’t fair to take some girl out to dinner when the person he wanted sitting across from him playing footsies was someone else…. And other guys just felt… wrong: the wrong body shape or height, the wrong accent, the wrong eyes. 

Why the fuck did he have to have a crush on that asswipe who treated him like dirt?

His first day home, and he had the house to himself. His parents and twin were off working, and Eleanor had disappeared to go hang out with friends the minute after she dropped him off in the driveway. His phone pinged letting him know he had a text.

Eleanor: 

Call ur roommate.  
He’s texted me 10 times since we left  
Boston asking if ur coming back.

Michael:

My stuff is still there.  
Obs I’m coming back

Did something happen?

He had a freudian slip in Mar and  
has completely ignored me since

What did he say?

Nothing. He was feeling sick and said  
I want u and forgot to tell me  
what he wanted me to do.

Srsly? U R so fing clueless.

What?

After a Mar Madness game right?   
Mr Oblivious.  
Call him

And say what?  
The shithead has refused to talk to me since then  
More than 4 fucking months.  
Not one word.  
If he has something to say to me,  
he can say it to my face when I get back.

He threw the phone down on the bed, ignoring the new incoming text pings. Thinking of his roommate made him horny. Thanking his luck that he was alone in the house for the next few hours, he grabbed an old towel, some lube he’d hidden from his brother, turned on his VPN on his phone so his parents wouldn’t see what he was watching, and proceeded to enjoy several videos. In the one that finally did it for him, there was this little teenage-ish skinny kid, maybe five and a half feet tall, hundred pounds sopping wet, on his hands and knees begging and moaning while this white haired guy fucked him with a cock that seriously had to be three and a half or maybe even four inches in diameter! The kid was not exciting to look at, the old dude was just gross, and the thought of having something that wide up his butt was scary, but the way the kid moaned… the way he shoved his ass back onto that cock like it was the single best thing that had ever happened to him… the way he begged and cried for every single inch…. The way he came just from having his ass penetrated…. Michael wiped himself up and hid the towel and lube away, and wearing only a pair of boxers, slid under his covers to sleep off the orgasm. And in his dreams it was Ming Lim who was face down on the bed, pulling his ass cheeks apart and begging to be fucked.

* * *

**September 2017**

Ming Lim paused before setting his violin case on his desk: Michael was back. And in the same position he’d been in the first time they’d ‘met’. Ripped jeans, faded concert T-shirt, gel eye-mask, clothespin, earbuds, and playing his electric violin. He was darker, tanner, than he’d been; he must have played in the sun all month. His hair was different: metallic silver threading through the natural black, and slightly longer than he had kept it over the winter and spring. It looked good on him, though. He had another piercing in his ear, too. The original hole had a silver dangling earring with a little spiked ball on the end that sort of looked like a mace brushing against his shoulder. The new piercing held a small silver hoop. 

He’d left without a word. And arrived without a word. Not that Ming Lim deserved to be notified either time, given the way he’d behaved…. Eleanor had called him the night Michael left and bitten his head off. “Get your head out of your ass before school starts up again, or I’ll do it for you,” she warned. “You don’t get to treat someone like shit because he didn’t understand you. You’d told him you were straight, for God’s sake! How the Hell was he supposed to suddenly understand you meant it when you told him you wanted him? Straight men don’t ‘want’ other men! He speaks something like ten languages; pick one and tell it to him plainly and honestly. I like you, I love you, I want to jump your bones, be my lover. But you better be nice to him even if you don’t have the guts to fess up because if you hurt him again, I swear to God I’ll Lorena Bobbit you with a rusty spoon, grind it up with some vegetables, and force feed it to you in steamed dumplings!” 

He’d had to google who Lorena Bobbit was and felt more than a little bit faint at reading the article. He was just really glad she was giving him the chance to make amends before she attacked him with a rusty spoon.

“Whaddaya want.” Michael sounded understandably pissed off. He had pushed the eye-mask up to his forehead, the clothespin was gone somewhere, and the earbuds cords dangled down his shoulders.

“I want to apologize. Duìbùqǐ.” He bowed so his back was parallel to the floor. He thought about kneeling, but thought that might be too much. 

“For what?”

“For being an ass. I thought I was protecting myself, but I was just hurting the both of us. Duìbùqǐ.”

“You’re forgiven.” He pulled the mask back down.

“Michael, wait…. Wǒ xǐhuān nǐ.”  _ I like you. _ “I want you. In  _ that way  _ want you. I thought it was just… I don’t know. Lust maybe? Or… how do you Americans call it? Crushing? It won’t go away…. No matter what I try.”

Michael pulled off the eye mask and threw it on the bed. “Stop it,” he ordered. “You ignored me for five months the last time you slipped up, and I really don’t want to start the school year the way it ended.”

“I didn’t slip up: I told you the truth. I wanted you then, too.” At Michael’s snort of disbelief, he continued, “You said it yourself! How did you put it? Sober consent! I said I wanted you; you told me to not say it and went to bed! 

“I was so hurt…. I had hoped you liked me too…. DaJie... she said I wasn’t clear. That you understood I don’t like men, so why would you think I meant it? What was I supposed to do? I’ve never liked anyone before. I just know I like you. So I’m telling you again: I want you. I want to kiss you, hold you, make love with you…. I want to wake up in your arms every morning. Suǒyǐ nà… nǐ yě kěyǐ xǐhuān wǒ ma?”  _ So, can you like me, too? Please say yes… please say you can love me, too _ . He could feel his whole body trembling with an almost overwhelmingly intense combination of apprehension, fear, desire, and hope. 

Michael slowly placed his violin on the bed and stood up, standing way too close to his roommate, earbuds clicking as they hit the floor. “You like me? For real?” Receiving a nod, he ordered, “Kiss me, then. Prove it.” 

Ming Lim threaded the fingers of one hand through Michael’s silver streaked hair.  _ So soft. _ The other he wrapped around the other’s waist and shuffled forward until their chests were only one deep breath apart. He closed his eyes, gathering up his courage to close that final distance, when something soft and warm sucked on his bottom lip. He gasped in pleasure and surprise, and something hard, wet and warm invaded his mouth to tangle with his tongue. His arms spasmed, dragging the body in his arms closer, even as he opened his mouth further, encouraging his roommate to explore as he wished. He had no idea what he was doing, but every swipe of Michael’s tongue against his seemed to increase his heartbeat….  _ Who needs to breathe? _ His hands slid down to the hem of Michael’s t-shirt.  _ Do I slip my hands underneath or push it up? _ Wanting, needing, to feel bare skin against his palms, he decided the shirt needed to come off. He pulled and yanked until the shirt got stuck at their necks…. He stepped back long enough to pull the shirt over Michael’s head and then pulled his own off as well, before sinking his mouth to the hollow where Michael’s neck met his shoulder. He breathed in deep, inhaling the scent of Michael’s skin overlaid with his body wash…. Intoxicating…. He had missed the smell of that soap filling up the bathroom…. “A’Xiàn, let me love you,” he begged, in between kisses.

Michael pushed him back. “Who is A’Xiàn?”

“Who?” Ming Lim was spacing out, drugged by touching and tasting.

“Who the Hell is A’Xiàn?”

“I have no idea who you’re talking about,” Ming Lim pleaded. His hands kneaded the supple skin. “Please love me, Michael. Let me love you.”

“You have another lover and you’re calling me by her name? Or is it a ‘his name’?” Michael accused. 

“I don’t know any A’Xiàn. I’ve never had a lover. You’re the first person I’ve kissed. Or wanted to kiss. Just you, Michael. Only you.” He dropped to his knees and fumbled with the button and zipper to Michael’s jeans. He hadn’t thought of doing this so soon, but after that, whatever it was, after calling Michael A’Xian…. He carefully pulled down the pants and boxers, baring the objects inside. And found himself faced with a throbbing, bobbing penis. The tip was cut, pink, and slightly wet.  _ Do you lick or suck first? _ He wrapped one hand around the base of the shaft and was slightly dismayed to see that there were still seven or eight centimeters exposed.  _ There’s no way this whole thing will fit in my mouth! _ He tried to imitate the porn stars he’d seen, sucking as much of the thing into his mouth as he could take without choking and using his hand on the rest. It looked a lot easier to do when it was a porn star matching his lips and hand movements. It didn’t taste too bad; he’d been afraid it was going to taste or smell like pee or soap…. Even the liquid spurting onto his tongue and mixing in with his saliva wasn’t that bad…. Salty. A little sweet. He looked up to see if Michael was enjoying his efforts and nearly swallowed the whole dick at the sight! Michael’s face was the very definition of ecstasy! He was panting and muffling his moans and groans by biting his lips. 

Ming Lim redoubled his efforts, licking and sucking and jerking his hand back and forth until Michael groaned, “Oh, fuck, stop. I’m going to cum. Stop Ming Lim!”

The older boy paused long enough to say, “Cum, then.” His jaw was aching, his arm was getting sore, his knees hurt, he was so incredibly hard himself, and he was loving every second of it…. He choked a bit when the dick in his mouth swelled up even more and jerked out hot, viscous liquid. He tried to swallow it all, but some slid out and down to stain his pants….

Michael fell back onto his bed, ignoring that he was almost naked. “That was…. Where’d you learn how to do that if you’ve never had a lover?”

“Chinese boys watch porn just like American boys…. It’s just harder to get a hold of over there…. Michael… can I have you?”

“Huh?”

“Can I make love to you?” 


	43. Chapter 05 Again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N This chapter involved underage NSFW content. If this bothers you, please skip over that section.

**September 2017 continued**

“Can you what? Don’t you think this is going a bit fast? Shouldn’t we, I don’t know, date for a while before we do it?” Michael was having a hard time trying to be rational. His post-orgasm brain was short-circuiting on him, and his body was already responding to Ming Lim’s suggestion to continue their playing. Especially since his roommate was already in the process of stripping off his belt and trousers revealing the rest of his toned body. 

Ming Lim felt feverish, hard, hurting. He put one knee on the bed, and heard the springs creak. “We can’t do this here. Too noisy.” Naked, he whirled around, and tugged his mattress off his bed onto the floor. “Let’s do it here. No squeaking.”

Michael kicked his jeans and boxers off from his where they hung at his ankles. “Are we really just going to do it already?”

Digging through his dresser, Ming Lim just looked over, begging, “I need you.” He pulled out a box of condoms and a tube of lubricant. 

“Aren’t we supposed to, you know, clean it first? Porn stars… they all use enemas before they film…. I don’t have anything for us….” He went over to sit on the mattress on the floor. “I’ll just blow you, instead, OK?”

Ming Lim joined his roommate. “Do you want me?” He leaned over to brush a kiss against the younger man’s nipple, then swirled his tongue around it, making it pebble up into his mouth. “I want you….” He switched to the other side. “Don’t want to wait. Need you…. Need you so bad….”

Michael found himself being lowered to his back after admitting, “Yeah, I want you….” His fingers idly drew randomly on his belly as he watched his roommate liberally coating his fingers with the lubricant. _I guess this is how I lose my virginity…. I sort of assumed I’d be the one topping, though…. Next time…._ A cold, slippery finger jabbed into him, “Jeez!” he hissed. “Go slower, huh? Màn yīdi’er.” It didn’t really hurt, but it didn’t feel great, either. A second finger forced its way into his ass, and he slapped out at his roommate. “Slower, damn you. Tòng. Tòng!” _It hurts!_ “I haven’t even gotten used to the first one yet!”

Ming Lim looked up, eyes wide in surprise. “It hurts?”

“Of course it does!” 

“But you’ve gone on so many dates!”

Michael glared at his roommate and roughly shoved the other’s hand away from his bum. “There’s a huge difference between going out to dinner with someone and sleeping with them! Did you think I was fucking them? Is that what this is? You’re horny, and you assumed I’d fucked a couple dozen randos last winter, so I must be totally willing to spread my legs for you today so you can get your rocks off? I’m a virgin, you asshole!” He spat. “Go fuck yourself!”

Ming Lim wasn’t entirely sure what ‘horny’, ‘randos’, or ‘get your rocks off’ meant, but he was confident they had something to do with having sex…. Those weren’t exactly terms one would learn in English classes…. ‘Virgin’ he understood all too well…. He grinned, absurdly happy for some reason. “I’d rather fuck you,” he teased, somewhat confident that this was the correct response. “No…” the smile faded away, “I’d rather make love to you…. I’m sorry I hurt you. I’m sorry I thought you were more experienced than me…. I… I don’t really know what I’m doing. I just know that I want to do it with you…. I want my first time to be with you. I want my every time to be with you!” He looked away, ashamed. “Do you want me to stop?”

Michael sighed. “No… don’t stop. Just… slower, OK? And pay attention…. You really have to stretch it out or I’m going to get hurt.” Ming Lim’s fingers went back into his ass, this time slowly stretching the ring of muscle at the opening, and Michael tried to not clench too tight. It hurt, burned; he was not enjoying this at all. There was something wrong…. It was either within his body, or because of his inexperience? Or Ming Lim’s inexperience? Just after the pain had muted down to tolerable, his lover-to-be added another finger and made it hurt all over again! _If I can’t even handle his fingers, how am I supposed to handle his cock?_

Ming Lim could move his fingers much easier now, and the books he’d read said three fingers was enough, usually, to start. But Michael still looked strained…. “Can I come in, now?” Upon receiving a quick nod, he continued, “Do you want to be face up or down? I’ve read face up is easier but face down means your… umm... thingy is easier to touch.”

“Face up.” Michael was feeling ashamed enough as it was… to be fucked doggy-style for this first time…. At least face-to-face there was the potential for kissing and interacting like lovers…. Face down just seemed like it was pure sex, no emotions…. He wanted at least the pretense that he was giving up his virginity to someone he cared about and who cared about him…. But, oh fuck did the head shoving through that ring hurt! “Just do it,” he ordered through clenched teeth when Ming Lim started to pull out. 

“I’m so sorry I’m hurting you…”

“It hurt more the first time we did this. You had just been able to find my prostate earlier, so I was way more eager….”

“‘The first time we did this’? I thought you said you were a virgin! When did we do this?”

“What are you talking about? I _am_ a virgin!” The cock resting inside his body moved slightly forward, impaling him just that much more, and he amended his statement. “Well, I was until a few minutes ago!” He could feel every inch stretching him, feel the incremental pushes from the man laying on top of him. It felt like he was stuffed completely full, and Ming Lim still hadn’t bottomed out! _When does it start to feel good?_ He reached down to start jerking himself, hoping that the external pleasure would alleviate the internal pain. In the process, he forced his roommate to shift and accidentally brush up against his prostate. “Holy shit. Yes. Right there. You… Er’gege... do it again.” 

Ming Lim ignored that demand; he was much more interested in being able to move easier. The little hole was too tight, and not slick enough; it needed to be opened more and relaxed, get the lube all the way in. He might be a tad bit selfish at the moment, but…. His body urged him to move faster, to push all the way in, to feel every single bit of him engulfed in this tight hot hole…. He held back as much as he could, trying to not hurt the man below him more than necessary.

Michael, wanting, needing to feel that amazing sensation again, was not lying still. Sometimes his legs were spread wide, feet on the floor, pushing his hips up. Sometimes they wrapped around Ming Lim’s waist. The best, however, was when he hooked his knees over his elbows and pulled them up towards his shoulders. The position was rather undignified, but oh did it feel good! It took them awhile to figure out how to position Michael and the angle at which Ming Lim needed to thrust in at, but eventually they reached the point where with almost every slow glide in and out, Ming Lim’s cock brushed up against or stabbed at Michael’s p-spot. 

“Can I move faster?” Ming Lim was covered in a light sheen of sweat from restraining himself. 

“Mmm.”

The older boy took that noise as a ‘yes’ and began moving faster, harder, allowing his body to take control. Below him, Michael would have been a moaning mess if he allowed himself to make any noise. All that mattered was the cock slamming into his ass and p-spot, the balls slapping his ass cheeks, his own balls being squished and massaged with every thrust, his own cock rubbing against their stomachs. He could feel his orgasm rising, curling his toes, freezing his hands where they gripped his legs. The waves of pleasure as his muscles started contracting, preparing for release. He hadn’t even cum yet, and already the sensations were bigger than any other orgasm, maybe even bigger than every other orgasm combined! He held his breath until his vision turned white, his muscles contracting even further, until all at once they abruptly relaxed and pulsed. He could feel his cum spurting warm and slimy between their bellies, his ass clutching the cock enveloped within its walls over and over. Above him, Ming Lim’s body jerked out his own release.

Sweaty, sticky, and boneless, the two boys gave each other a shy smile. “That was intense,” Michael whispered, pulling his lover’s head down for a kiss. “We’ll have to do that again. Next week. When I wake up.” He took in a much needed breath and was asleep in seconds. 

Ming Lim pulled out as gently as he could, and disposed of the condom. The outside of it was slimy with spermicide and lube, but suspiciously free of other substances…. _I thought you said you didn’t clean yourself…._ He went into the bathroom to get a wet cloth to wipe down their bodies. 

There was something weird going on…. _A’Xiàn…._ Obviously, it wasn’t his name…. But it felt so right to call him that: Michael Wu, Wu Michael, Wu Xiàn. Just like being called Er’gege…. It felt both right and wrong somehow. And how Michael had claimed they’d had sex before when they were both virgins…. 

Lim’s mother was a huge believer in reincarnation and spent nearly as much money on fortune tellers as she did on handbags. As a child, she had dragged him to more than a few quacks trying to learn more about their past lives. Most of them made up utter nonsense, like how he died when his ship headed to Great Britain capsized in a storm, or he was a trader in what is now Thailand and killed by raiders. His favorite one was that he was a magical prince in his first incarnation. He laughed noiselessly; every so-called psychic in every country across the world would tell you that you were a prince or princess in some dynasty long forgotten to history…. The magical part was an interesting twist. Every single one of the quacks told him his soulmate was far away and that he needed to keep looking. Nonsense, right?

Now… looking down at this beautiful boy sleeping on semen and lube stained sheets… somehow it didn’t seem so nonsensical…. 

His phone pinged; Ming Ling got up to grab his phone from his discarded trousers. The incoming text was from his father’s secretary: _The Chairman and I have landed. We should be at your house in about an hour._ “What the Hell?” he scrolled up to read the other messages. Their business in New York had concluded early, so the Chairman was taking a shuttle to Boston to see how his son was doing. “Shit.” His father was definitely going to want to see his room. Which currently smelled like sex and had his naked roommate sleeping on a mattress in the middle of the floor. “Michael, wake up!” he hissed, shaking the other’s shoulder. “You have to get up! My father’s coming here in less than an hour!” 

Michael opened one bleary eye. “Go shower. I’ll take care of this stuff.” The younger man was apparently very used to hiding his indiscretions from nosy parents and siblings. When Ming Lim emerged from the bathroom, the room smelled like some powdery air freshener, the used condom and lube were out of sight, the mattress was back on its frame and had new sheets on it. “I folded your dirty sheets and put them back in your drawer after I sprayed everything with the air freshener. Make sure you clean them after your dad leaves tonight. Chūqù ba. I’m going to take a shower now. Do you need me to come down to meet him or should I stay up here studying?”

“Suíbiàn.” _Whatever._ Ming Lim wanted to ask his roommate how he was feeling. The younger boy was limping to the bathroom, but he was muttering about his foot falling asleep, so…. Was there a polite way to ask how one’s ass felt after being penetrated for the first time?

He walked downstairs to wait in the kitchen for his parent to arrive. The Chairman’s presence was a tangible weight pressing down on him. “Father,” he acknowledged. 

The older man’s face darkened, probably at his speaking in English. Before he could unleash a tirade, Sheng Lin stepped into the kitchen and bowed. “Good afternoon, Chairman Ming. I am Sheng Lin, aide to Secretary Lan at the QishanWen Medical Group. It is by my chairman’s orders that we all speak English in this house. I thank you in his place for understanding and respecting his wishes in this matter.” Ming Lim managed to contain his surprise; the tattooed man had, in a single sentence, managed to cut his father off at the knees! To continue to talk in Chinese would be relayed back to the QishanWen Chairman, and his rudeness would be remembered when it came time to negotiate for that manufacturing contract…. _I salute you, Sheng Lin. That was quite masterful._ Sheng Lin bowed slightly, a superior recognizing an inferior, and asked if the Chairman would like some tea. He busied himself heating the water and putting out an antique tea set. “My Chairman knows how much I love this set and he was gracious enough to allow me to bring it with me. This tea set was the favorite of one of our founders, Lán SīZhuī, and his wife ŌuYáng XiǎoDàn.” He held up a cup to show off the design. “It was a wedding gift from his fathers, Yílíng Lǎozǔ and HánGuāng-Jūn. Before he became an apostate, Yílíng Lǎozǔ was a senior disciple of the YúnmèngJiāng sect at Liánhuā Wù _._ Their motif was the lotus flower. HánGuāng-Jūn was originally from the GūsūLán sect of Yúnshēn Bùzhīchù; their motif was clouds. You can see how the artist cleverly intertwined the lotus flowers with clouds….”

 _Fathers? How did this SiZhui guy have two fathers? Wait, aren’t those the same men whose swords hang in the living room?_ Ming Lim caught Michael’s eye as the other entered the kitchen. The younger boy shrugged and rolled his eyes. “Father? May I introduce my roommate to you? This is Michael Wu, an engineering student at MIT. Michael, my father Chairman Ming.”

Michael slouched against a wall. He was _not_ liking the vibes this chairman was putting out. This mightier than thou attitude was unappealing among his fellow students who felt their smarts made them better than other people. It was nearly intolerable coming from a man who should be here in his capacity as a loving parent who hadn’t seen his only son in a year, not as a CEO. “S’up,” he tilted his chin in greeting. 

“You’re Michael Wu?” The boy could physically feel the silent appraisal the chairman gave him as he sipped his tea. “I read your Master’s thesis. Interesting work. I look forward to seeing your PhD work.”

Michael shrugged. “Child’s play. Something to keep me occupied until the parents let me come down here to study. You run an electronics company; I’m studying mechanical engineering. Why would you read my mathematics thesis?”

“I look for talent, regardless of whether it fits within the scope of my company. It is harder to find talented individuals, like yourself, than it is to set up a division within my company to accommodate you and your needs.”

Michael snorted. “That’s a crock. Tell me another one.” 

“A crock?”

“A lie. If you encourage talented individuals… why is your son studying Business instead of the violin?” Seeing the shocked faces of both father and son, he laughed tonelessly. “See, one of the things I’m good at is finding the right people to talk to to get the information I want. Last spring, I recorded Lim playing and sent it to a friend of a friend who works over at the BSO, the Boston Symphony Orchestra,” he clarified. “He said the recording, if genuine, and a few more years of training would pretty much guarantee Lim a spot in almost any orchestra in the world. With the _right_ training, it would guarantee him a spot in any of the most prestigious orchestras in the world and possibly even a solo career. Like a Yo-Yo Ma or Luciano Pavarotti or Madonna, famous all over the world kinda solo career. So he got me in touch with someone down at Julliard, and guess what that person told me. Or don’t guess. I’m sure you know.”

“You did that for me?” Ming Lim whispered, almost silently. _I treated you so badly and you still did that for me?_

“My son is studying Business because he will inherit my position! _That_ is his future! He can play on his violin as a hobby.”

“No, Sir. _I_ play the violin as a hobby. Your son plays the violin because it’s a part of his soul. Taking that away from him is like cutting off his arm. You think because you’re his sperm donor you get to tell him how to live his life? You should be celebrating that he’s this good! You should be looking into investing in orchestras and recording studios and shit like that.

“But, no. You have a corporation you want to pass on to your descendants. Obviously that’s more important to you than nurturing your son’s _actual_ talents. Do me a favor: don’t bother to read my theses. I have no desire to work for someone whose character is so lacking. 

“LimGe, I gotta run. My advisor is having a dinner for all of his advisees tonight.” He gave a final scathing look at the chairman. “Peace.”

After Michael left, the Chairman’s attitude went from smugly condescending to downright nasty. He berated the absent child, belittled his son. He only stopped when Chen Song entered the kitchen signing, <Good evening, Chairman..>

The Chairman rounded on Chen Song. “And what have you been doing while my son is cavorting with that… that… person? I pay you to watch over my son.”

<No, you don’t. Our contract stipulated that it ended on January 2nd when Ming Lim turned eighteen.>

“But… you guarded him on his way from New York to Boston! I’ve been paying you to be his bodyguard!”

<I started working for Secretary Lan at the QishanWen Medical Group on January 3rd. We traveled to Boston on the 5th. She felt it would not be inappropriate for us to travel together since we were both going to be living here. As for payment, I provided your accounting department with my final invoice on January 2nd.>


End file.
